The Pick-Up Diary

For his upcoming book (Everyone Loves You When You’re Dead) Neil Strauss aka Style, author of “The Game”, looked over two decades spent touring with rockers and rappers and realized there were a few common lessons and themes that we can all apply to our lives.

One of the things he noticed was that musicians who believed that they were destined to be famous, that being a celebrity was “God’s plan” for them, were more likely to get famous and stay there.

On the other hand, musicians who got famous, and then felt like they got lucky or didn’t deserve to be there any more than other talented (but lesser known) musicians tended to fall out of the limelight pretty quickly.

Strauss even found similar patterns in other fields – from sports to survival. For example liver transplant patients were three times more likely to live if they sought God’s help and intervention. And disaster victims in survival situations who prayed were more likely to live than those who didn’t.

The key point here however isn’t religion. It’s BELIEF and the power of POSITIVE THINKING. According to Strauss success comes from acting out of confidence, conviction, commitment, and deservedness, no matter what critics, haters, and competitors are saying and thinking–with no fear of failure (and with no problem bouncing back undiscouraged if one doesn’t succeed at first).

Conversely, walking down the path to your goals with fear, doubt, and uncertainty as your traveling companions is a sure way to slow down – if not completely bring to a halt – your journey. Even when successful, having a feeling of undeservedness when you reach your goal will ultimately lead to self-sabotage.

Strauss’ advice: whether you’re looking at the woman (or women or lack thereof) in your life or your career goals for the new year, ask yourself: WHAT DO I DESERVE?

Neil Strauss’ article in the Wall Street Journal.

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A lof of guys make the mistake of asking the girl whether she is single. Most of the girls that go out to clubs and bars are, but they say they have a boyfriend. This normally means one thing – they are not attracted to you (yet).

Girls use this line to weed out guys they don’t like but also to test guys (this is called a shit test). If you react with “Oh! That’s a pity” and leave you’ve have lost.

Instead you should simply ignore this comment and continue with your routines. Just say cool as if she told you her name and start talking about something else.

Don’t mention her “boyfriend” at all! Suppose, she has a boyfriend and you start talking about him in any way (for example asking where he is right now), she will think about him and will feel uncomfortable.

However if you ignore the boyfriend comment and your game is strong enough she will forget about him: lead and she will follow! Trigger her emotions and she will be attracted to you no matter what.

P.S. Learn How to Get Your Ex Back NOW!

One of the biggest sticking points is what to say after the Opener and running out of material. The solution to this common problem is Cold Reading.

The first tool you need is a cold read routine for a group, because most sets will likely be groups of girlfriends. Start with a group cold read after your opener.

Here are some examples:

YOU: (Smiling) “You guys are awesome you’re just like the girls from Sex and the City.”

GIRLS: “Oh I love that show…”

(now use what you know about their personalities to fit them into one of the archetypes of the main characters from Sex and the City, give each girl a character)

(point to the responsible or tough one)

YOU: “You’re definitely Samantha because you’re tough and you have you’re stuff together.

(point to the one that seems the most sweet or quiet)

YOU: “You’re Carrie I can just tell because…!”

(point to the target and shake your head and say)

YOU: “And you’re Miranda! Oh, you’re definitely Miranda!”

The women will laugh and say why they are who they are or why they aren’t let them talk about it for a bit and then start your next routine.

Now it’s time to run another Cold Read to win the group over. And I want you to launch into the Best Friends Test (by Neil Strauss aka Style).

YOU: “OK, I have to ask: how long have you guys known each other for? (If you think they’re sisters ask: “Are you guys sisters or best friends?”)

GIRLS: “We’ve known each other forever (or whatever they say)”

YOU: “See, I knew that”

GIRLS: “How could you know that?”

YOU: “I’ll show you. In fact, I’ll give you the best friends test.”

GIRLS: (get all excited)

YOU: “OK… (pretend you’re just about to ask a serious question)

“Do you both use the same shampoo?”

GIRLS: (look at each other and then open their mouths to answer)

YOU: “OK, the answer doesn’t matter, you already passed.”

GIRLS: “Huh?!”

YOU: “See, if you weren’t so close to each other, you’d have kept eye contact with me as you answered. But when two people have a connection, they look at each other first, kind of like you’re doing right now.”

GIRLS: (laugh)

YOU: “See, you don’t even need to say anything to each other. It’s like you just communicate telepathically.”

At this point they should be laughing and loving your company … time to isolate your target and launch into palm reading or astrology cold reads.

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The best way to make an impression is to teach the girl something about herself. The following techniques work extremely well:

1) “The Cube”. Women love all kinds of tests. This personality test invented by the master pick up artist and author Neil Strauss aka Style works like a charm. Read on it on the internet or Strauss’ book called “The Game“.

2) “The 3 Questions Game to Define Your Goal in Life”. This routine invented by Style is about asking the girl what she likes doing most and what kind of feeling she has doing it. The ultimate goal in life is to experience that feeling again and again.

3) Palm reading. This is an instant classic and gets every girl interested in a second. Don’t forget to tell her that has a difficult relationship to her father and an excellent one to her mother.

4) “The Ring Routine”. This routine is about telling her that wearing ring on particular fingers says something about her personality.

5) Cold Reading. This technique is extremely powerful, but you need some experience with people to be successful with it. Cold reading is about guessing what kind of person the girl is and telling her what she wants to hear.

6) Storytelling. In order to attract a girl you need to be able to tell an interesting story. Keep in mind: Telling a story is not about getting to the end, but to demonstrate your charming personality.

7) NLP-Techniques. Neuro-linguistic programming is about playing with thoughts, images and feelings and can be very powerful. Again, you need a lot of experience in this area to be really successful.

8 ) Dream interpretation. Quite popular. The problem here: a lot of people don’t remember their dreams and if they do there are way too much possibilities they can come up with that you can assign to a special interpretation pattern.

9) Handwriting analysis. A bit long winded, but nonetheless effective.

10) Number guessing game. Tell her to pick a number between 1 and 4 (guess that it’s the 3). Then tell her to pick a number between 1 and 10 (take the 7, because most people choose this number). Finally let her pick a number between 1 and 10. This time tell her to multiply the number by 9. Then, she has to add the digits of the outcome and subtract 5. The outcome is always 4.

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A lot of people want to know how to create attraction. So, without further chit-chat, here are the 3 sure-fire ways to create attraction:

1. Be mysterious.

Being mysterious means that you simply don’t reveal everything about yourself. Why is this good? Because the woman generates all sorts of possibilities of what you could be. She equals you with ideas (often fantasies) that she has in her mind.

It’s obvious: when we think there is nothing else to decipher, that all the clues were revealed and that the mystery is solved, we lose interest.

It’s what we don’t know that keeps us fascinated. This is even more important during the initial stages of attraction.

Here is an example of a conversation that generates mystery:

Her – “So what do you do for a living?”

You – “You might be surprised if I told you, but before that, what do you do for work?”

Her – “I do promotional stuff.”

You – “Really? How’s that?”

Her – “Good. I like it.”

You – “I suppose you must have a lot of good stories about the people you deal with.”

Her – “Well, yes, there are some weird people.”

Me – “Of course. You remind me of my friend Kay, who has done promotional work too. One time she was doing a promotion… ” (Launch into an interesting DHV (Demonstration of Higher Value) story).

Instead of answering her question you change the conversation to her favorite topic (herself). Then, launch into an interesting story that communicates your personality and attractiveness, while still not revealing too many personal details about yourself.

The secret is that she has a good time with you in the moment. Then later, when she feels attraction, she will use her imagination to fill in all the blanks.

2. Surpass her expectations.

By dedicating a lot of time to living and arming yourself with life experiences, the people who meet you will be taken aback by finding out more about you.

They will be pleasantly shocked by how interesting and accomplished you are, and a new type of mystery will develop as they question what else lies beneath your surface.

Here’s the same conversation, but this time with focus on developing the second type of mystery:

Her – “So what do you do for a living?”

You – “You might be surprised if I told you. What would you think somebody like me works in?”

Her – “I don’t know…”

You – “Aw, c’mon, what do you mean you don’t know. You must have some idea.”

Her – “Well, I don’t know…I would say you are a student or that you are working with a company.”

You – “Not quite, I’m a skydiving instructor.”

Her – “Wow! Really? I would never have thought.”

You – “Why not?”

Her – “I don’t know…it’s just that you didn’t give the impression of being like that…”

You – “Things aren’t always the way you think.”

Some of you might be saying, “But I don’t skydive… I don’t even do anything that resembles that!”

If this is so, maybe it’s time to add some adventure and new experiences to your life.

Ask yourself, “What is one thing I’ve always wanted to try, but have never gotten around to?”

Will you make plans to try it? It might be a lot of hard work, but you CAN do it.

3. Jealousy

Jealousy is a sneaky emotion. Thoughts of inadequacy and insecurity race through the mind. Knots form as fear and anxiety creep into the stomach. While these feelings are easily identified as negative, when wielded properly in a pickup they can yield shockingly positive results.

The secret to harness this invisible power lies in the commonly held belief that women are bynature driven less by logic and more by their emotions. Even if they meet a great guy, and intellectually recognize that he is cool, interesting, funny, and various other great things, this is by no means a guarantee she will pursue him sexually. She will only do that when her emotions tell her to.

Here’s how you create a jealousy plot line:

You’ve made your approach and opened the group for conversation. You’ve won over her friends and demonstrated to her that you’re different from the other guys. Sure you’ve told a few bad jokes but you’ve also had a few good ones and everyone laughed at them. She is clearly enjoying your company.

The night progresses and the two of you talk more. You find out about her dreams, desires, and passions. There is some light touching between you, but nothing major. She seems reserved to move things forward; you’re being slotted in the friend zone. Already having exchanged contact information, you mention you have to get back to your friends and bid her farewell for now.

She thinks little of it until in her peripheral vision she sees you sitting with the girl in the red dress. “Who does she think she is?” she wonders. “Giggling at his jokes and flipping her hair back like that.” Suddenly she feels the knot forming in her stomach. Her emotions are warning her she may be losing something she desires. And thus the switch has been flipped. Her emotions do not lie: She desires you.

You return with a smile to discuss one of the open loops left in your conversation from earlier. She is thrilled to have you back. A new energy exists behind the interaction. Now, when you touch her, your touch is reciprocated. Your escalation is welcomed and desired. Now, she is even laughing at your bad jokes. It’s on. Your plot line was played to perfection.

P.S. Learn How to Get Your Ex Back NOW!

There are a lot of dating myths out in the world that are false. Here’s Savoy’s Top 3 List:

1. Women want a nice guy.

You have heard and seen this plenty of times; Women saying they all want to date a nice guy, but then they all end up dating the jerk or bad boy. This paradox is as old as the Earth.

Women do want someone who can be nice to them, but also someone who can push their buttons and has strong boundaries. Nice guy lack the latter and that is why especially beautiful women don’t end up dating the nice guy. If you are one of the nice guys, try to tease girls more and fooling around with them. It sounds counterintuitive, but it works.

2. Dating should be fair.

This is a big one. It goes like this: “I shouldn’t be doing all the pursuing and all the work, dating should be fair”. If you recognize yourself, stop right now.

In the dating world, the guy has to be proactive about it. Just accept this. You can’t expect for women to approach you and seduce you. When one does, it’s most likely a pro (not a professional!).

You can also look at it differently. You have the option to pick the women you want to date. You are the one exercising the freedom of picking. Women don’t. They have to go through a lot of chumps and unfortunately sometimes they still can’t find the right guy.

3. Women hate to be approached.

There is this myth out there that says women hate to be approached. Nothing couldn’t be further from the truth. Why do you think it takes hours for women to get ready to go out at night? If friends want to have a conversation over a glass of wine, they can do that at home too.

Another popular excuse women use is so they can “dance.” Another excuse to masquerade why women really go out. The real reason women go out is to find a guy, just like you go out to find a girl. Don’t let these excuses women give fool you. The next time you see women out, keep in mind that they want to be approached and swept away. You can be that guy.

One of the reasons this myth is so established is because a lot of guys have no clue how to approach women and they do it in a terrible fashion. For example, using a pickup line does not work and it is the fastest way to get rejected. Instead, with the right fashion, body language, and the right thing to say you can start enjoying conversations with beautiful women.

P.S. Learn How to Get Your Ex Back NOW!

You see an attractive woman. You don’t know her. You have no “excuse” to talk to her. Can you walk up to her and start a conversation – the kind of conversation that’s going to lead to attraction and more?

This is a skill any man can master. And one no man can afford to ignore – if you can’t comfortably talk to strangers, you’ve excluded 99.9% of the women whose path you’re going to cross in life.

So if you’re not approaching SUCCESSFULLY and CONSISTENTLY, take a look at this list. Print it out and keep it with you. Master these and your life WILL change.

1. Do “warm up sets” before you get to the bar/club/party/park. Somewhere nearby, do a few approaches that “don’t count” until you’re in a talkative, social state of mind. The world’s best pick up artists do this.

2. Be “social” not a “shark.” The guy who walks into a bar, circles around a few times, and then gets the courage to approach women one by one is going home alone. Women KNOW this type. Talk socially to everyone and have fun – you’re not a starving hunter desperate for a meal.

3. Smile. That one’s easy.

4. Have a couple of “go-to” openers – things you can say to start a conversation that you KNOW will work. You don’t need 50, 500, or 5000. 3 or 4 is just fine. Pick a couple you like…

5. Approach right away. Once she notices you looking (she will — women have eyes in the back of their head), you’re either going to be “confident” or “creepy,” so be confident and approach. More advanced guys can play the eye contact game, but if you’re having trouble successfully starting a conversation 99% of the time, keep it simple.

6. Use relaxed, confident body language. Get your wingman to watch you and critique.

7. It doesn’t matter who she is with. Attractive women rarely do things alone. So get used to the idea that you’re going to have to meet the people she is with at the same time as you meet her. (Day Game is sometimes an exception to this). Whether her friends are male or female, approach anyway. If she’s off-limits, they’ll tell you. We don’t have space to go into this in detail here, but women who have guys in their group are more likely to have a same-night encounter anyway.

8. Eye contact. There’s another easy one. Split it equally among everyone in her group.

9. Project your voice. Put your hand on your chest, just below your pectorals. Experiment with your voice until you can feel vibrations in your hand. That’s the way you want to talk. Be too loud rather than too quiet.

10. Have something to say – you’re going to have to do 90% of the talking at first. Don’t keep talking about whatever your opener was about. When she starts breaking into the conversation, asking your name, where you’re from, what you do for a living – that’s when you know she’s attracted. Content provided by Savoy from Love Systems.

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Before you go out

1. The “Game” begins as soon as you leave the house. Women notice you before you approach them. They should always see you having fun, being social, and looking good. (Going out with fun people/good wingmen and to places you like helps with this.)

2. Dress in a way that is fashionable and expresses your identity. Most women see fashion as self-expression. How do you want her to see you? Dress that way. You can’t avoid this – if you dress to blend in, she’ll just think of you as the kind of guy who wants to blend in. There are some great tips and a how-to guide with before and after pictures in the Magic Bullets Handbook.

You see a beautiful woman…

3. Move your feet. If you get the eyes-feet reflex going (i.e., see a hot girl, start walking over to the hot girl), everything else will – eventually – take care of itself. Get this down until it’s automatic. The longer you delay an approach, the harder it will be. Don’t skip this.

4. Memorize five good openers (opening lines) so you always have one ready to go. If you don’t have this, you’ll often stumble on the beginning of the conversation or even talk yourself out of approaching in the first place. If you don’t have a set of good “go-to” openers that you know work.

The first few seconds…

5. Body language – this is a massive topic and great body language can almost pick up a girl all by itself. Fundamentals for the first few minutes include eye contact, shoulders back and relaxed, hands calm and not in your pockets, standing up straight (don’t fidget), head straight (not tilted). Stand like you would if you owned the world.

6. Speak up! Most men speak too softly when approaching women. Especially at bars and clubs, she must hear you clearly the first time and it must cut across other conversations, the music, etc. Also, use your “chest voice” (Google it) and not your “head voice.”

7. Don’t “milk” the opener. Whatever you said when you came over to talk to her, switch off that topic after a minute. That’s crucial. You want her to see you as an attractive, interesting man, not as “the guy I talked to about such-and-such.”

Getting into the conversation…

8. Be FUN. Don’t be too serious or take yourself or the conversation too seriously. If you look like you’re having fun and enjoying yourself, she will have fun too. Fun is contagious…

9. … but don’t be a dancing monkey. You’re not trying to become her personal clown or court jester. Have fun and be fun, but don’t try to entertain.

10. Some things that are great for attraction and are also fun include storytelling, teasing, and role plays. It’s okay if you prefer one or two of these – each of these techniques has its own skill set. Go with what works for you.

11. Avoid “interviews.” Don’t ask her too many questions. A question or two shows some interest in who she is as a person, but more than that is what every guy does; it’s boring and a turnoff. It’s also a waste – asking her a question about herself does nothing to attract her or let her get to know your good qualities. Instead, make statements. E.g., instead of asking where she’s from, make a guess. Or tell her where you’re from and she’ll do the same.

12. Similarly, don’t play tourist in her life. So you find out she’s a stewardess/porn star/nuclear scientist and you’re curious to know more. Save it. If she’s attracted to you, you’ll have all the time in the world to ask whatever you want.

13. NEVER leave a conversation because you “run out of things to say.” Force yourself to stay. Your brain will learn, if it is forced to, how to improvise. Or use one of the hundreds of proven “things to say” (called routines) in the Routines Manual. Be strict with yourself on this.

Making attraction STICK

Some guys think of attraction as something that takes a long time but once you got it, it’s permanent. That’s doubly wrong. Women feel attracted to men all the time, and it doesn’t take long – within minutes of beginning a conversation. But if you don’t do anything to solidify or lock in that attraction, it goes away as quickly as it came.

14. Qualification is the best way to keep her attracted. By making her work a bit for you and by leading the conversation to a place where you and her admit that you are interested in each other, you’re not some fleeting guy… you’re a guy she needs more of.

15. Phone numbers are not attraction. Getting a phone number does not mean she is attracted to you. Getting a phone number before she is attracted to you is next to useless.

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If you ever break any of these 15, print out the list, carry it in your wallet, and review them until they are instinctive and you don’t even need to think about them anymore. Content provided by Savoy from Love Systems.

Let me distract you for a second from this pic for a small question:

How do you improve your skills in a particular area?

By practice, by doing something – it’s obvious. If you’re learning a new language the most effective way to get better is to speak in that language a lot. The same goes for if you want to get better with girls. You have to practice a lot. You can read countless books – which will make think you know it all – but unless you go out regularly and approach women, you won’t get better!

Learning by doing is effective, but it’s even more effective when you know (exactly) what you’re doing. That means besides practice you also need some theory, some knowledge – the techniques that really work.

Now where do you get that all together?

At Walmart At a Bootcamp, exactly.

In fact, it’s the most effective way to get better. Of course, it costs money and not everyone can afford a bootcamp. But if you can and you want to get better real quick (because it can take years to get better with girls studying on your own – chances are you won’t get better at all and simply consume all the pick-up material to feel better) this is the best opportunity you will get:

On the Oct 9-11.2009, worlds best pickup artists and dating coaches will come to Las Vegas. And you can be part of it! You will get the opportunity to meet and learn from the best:

Savoy (author of Magic Bullets), Cajun (winner of Keys to the VIP), The Don (author of the Routines Manual), Soul (the world’s #1 expert in Day Game), Mr M and Braddock (creators of Social Circle Mastery), Brad P, Tenmagnet, Fader, Sheriff, David Wygant, and more.

The three days are filled with seminars, live exercises, and infield (going out to meet women with dating coaches instructing you).

More precisely, there they will have two rooms with different sessions running at the same time:

1)  a seminar room:

The seminar room is where the instructors and guest speakers will reveal their latest breakthroughs, give lectures, and talk about specific topics on dating. Past subjects have included:

.. Social Circle Mastery
.. Advanced Attraction
.. Deep Comfort
.. Inner Game
.. Relationship Management and Multiple Relationships
.. Callback Humor
.. Day Game
.. Strippers and Hired Guns
.. And lots more.

and

2) a breakout room.

In the interactive breakout room you will be able to talk to instructors and work with them on a particular part of their game. These live exercises include:

.. Approaching and Transitioning – Get your approaching skills down!
.. Teasing and Bantering – How to think on your feet and build attraction FAST!
.. Physical Escalation – Touching gets results and prevents you getting in the friendzone!
.. Body Language – Project confidence with your walk, posture, and gestures!
.. Frame Control – Steer interactions the way you want it to go!

This way, you can decide on your own what you want to do because there are always two sessions running at the same time. If you want to work with an instructor, you can go to the breakout room. If you want to listen to a lecture on a specific topic, the seminar room is where you want to be. You can tailor the whole weekend to your own level of game.

There are two packages: Silver and Gold:

The Silver level attendees will be able to attend all the live exercises and seminars during the Super Conference. The Gold level attendees will also be able to do live exercises and seminars, but will also go out two nights with infield coaching by our instructors.

The price for Silver is $947 and Gold is $3,797 (which is still cheap compared to the the astronomical price of $4,000 per person for a Mystery Method Bootcamp). For more info, take a look at this video:

Learn to Attract Women at the Love Systems Super Conference (Oct 9-11.2009)

The “Strawberry Fields Routine” is designed for physical escalation. You should use it only when you have developed sufficient rapport with the girl. It’s good routine for transition from comfort to sex. There are only three questions:

1) “Imagine that you are now standing at the gates of a strawberry field. You are alone. There are tasty, ripe strawberries in the field. How high are the gates surrounding the field?” (This indicates how easy or hard the girl is to give sex)

2) “Imagine you’re now inside the strawberry field. How many strawberries do you pick and eat?” (This indicates the number of sex partners she desires)

3) “After you finish eating the strawberries, you realize that you have been observed by the farmer from afar. How do you feel about him?” (This indicates how she feels about her partner after sex)