The Pick-Up Diary

Starting a conversation with a beautiful woman can be tough. In fact, it scares most of the guys, although no one would admit it. But everyone knows the process: You get nervous, get sweaty palms and start stuttering – if you decide to approach her at all.

However, there are ways to do it right. Ways that work.

1)    Use an Opinion Opener.

An opener is a question or statement you start a conversation with. Thus, an opinion opener is about asking her opinion on something. For example: “Hi! I’m searching for a birthday present for a friend. She’s the same age as you. Do you have an idea? I was thinking about a book…” Or “Hey, do you think wearing too many rings is kind of gay? I want to get some, but I’m not sure…” Let her speak and listen carefully as you can use her answers to keep up the conversation. A good opener will automatically lead to other questions and topics of conversation.

2)    Demonstrate Value.

Impress her with stuff only few people talk about at the beginning of a conversation. For example, if you asked her about the rings and she wears one or some, say that you read in a magazine yesterday that wearing rings on certain fingers says something about one’s personality. On the other hand, if she’s not wearing any rings, you can tell her that the decision not to wear rings says something about her personality. In doing so you demonstrate a higher value as most of the guys use “interview questions” like: “What is your name?”, “Where are you from?”, “What kind of work you do?” Read up on palm reading, (favorite) color meaning, finger length meaning or psycho tests. Women love tests where you tell them something about them they didn’t know. But practice it at home (with a friend) first.

3)     Find Similarities.

This is necessary to build comfort. She has to see herself in you, has to realize that you both have the same feelings. Of course, you need some time to build up comfort, but also a short story like this can be striking: “Hey, you have the same boots like my sister! I was shopping with her and she searched through 10 shoe stores to find them…” Again, let her talk for a while, maybe you will find something you can relate to and build even more comfort.

P.S. Never open with “Excuse me”. As a man of high status (at least that’s what you want to demonstrate, because women are attracted to status) you don’t need to apologize for a simple question or statement. You will find more tips how to start a conversation, how to demonstrate value and build comfort here:

A lot of guys who struggle with girls are highly motivated to improve themselves. But in order to improve yourself, you need to know what to improve. And often people simply don’t know what they are doing wrong, they haven’t identified their “sticking point”:

Maybe you don’t know how to open, maybe you don’t know how to create attraction, maybe you always skip the comfort building-phase. Or maybe you can’t bring yourself to speak to strangers, have some nervous ticks speaking with women, play the funny guy to smooth over your insecurity or your mind goes blank facing a beautiful girl. Maybe you don’t care about grooming and looks. Maybe you endlessly search for the right moment to kiss the girl or don’t use touching (kino) at all and always end up in the friends zone – this list is endless.

So, first you have to identify your problem, your sticking point with women. Here is what you can do to find out where your problem with girls might be:

1) Think about the past situations with women and what went wrong. Try to see the whole situation from her perspective – would you like this guy and would you think this guy has got girls in his life? If the answer is “no” – why? Compare yourself with successful guys – what do they do and you don’t?

2) Ask your friends and try to get an honest answer on how they see you interacting with women. Let them speak, don’t interrupt and don’t search for any excuses. Accept what they say – in most cases they see the right picture and you are the one who doesn’t want to accept the reality. Most guys don’t get over this point because admitting a weakness normally lowers your self-esteem. And nobody likes that. Hence most of the guys never really get better with women. Be the difference: Accept that you have to change things and start working on it.

3) Tape yourself on video to see how other people perceive you. It really gives you a reality check. Practice as long as you finally like “this” guy on the tape and your results with girls will skyrocket as you will become much more self-confident. And self-confidence is what girls are really looking for in a guy as it demonstrates a high status.

4) Get more information on attraction and psychology (internet, book store). You have to be aware of the basic principles of human interaction. But don’t overdo it. You don’t need all the books, two or three are enough at the beginning. The information you get from them is only there to know why something works. But it’s absolutely worthless if YOU don’t use it in the real life. You only get better if you go out and approach girls. The lack of experience with girls is the number one reason why guys don’t get the right results with girls. Here’s how you get the most out of the information you receive: break it apart and try one thing after another. If you read something new, go out and try it (and only it) until you get the right results. It’s not that easy in praxis, but it’s the most effective way to get better – and this is your goal, isn’t it?