Browsing "Approach"
Oct 28, 2012 - Approach, openers, Opening    No Comments

The Bullet-Proof Way to Start a Conversation

Every approach begins with an opener, the springboard to start a conversation. This early moment sets the tone for the interaction and breaks the ice.

Any bullet-proof opener will help you achieve three goals:

1. It’s an un-threatening approach to open the person or group up for having a conversation

2. It stirs up curiosity and captures the person or group’s imagination

3. It’s a springboard for additional follow-up conversational threads

What Makes an Opener “bullet-proof”?

There a few ingredients that allow you to approach smoothly without seeming awkward and give you a built-in “safety net” to eject if necessary. Here are the ingredients:

1. ROOT – The first question that runs through anyone’s mind who is approached by a stranger is this:

“Why is this guy talking to me? What does he want?”

The root in an opener communicates from the beginning WHY you are talking to the person. It explains the reason of your approach.

2. TIME CONSTRAINT – The second question that crosses the mind of anyone who is approached:

“How long do I have to talk to this guy? When will he leave again?”

(She obviously doesn’t know yet how interesting you really are :)) By embedding a time constraint in your opener, you will answer this question from the beginning. A time constraint looks like this:

“I have only a minute. I’m already late for a meeting.” It also has a second advantage. If you

need to eject, you can, say at any time: “I have to run. Pleasure meeting you.”

3. OPEN-ENDED Question. If you ask a Yes/No question it will be a VERY short conversation. Posing questions that elicit a longer response will give you more opportunities to start another conversational thread and more time to think.

Here’s an example of a bullet-proof opinion opener:

You: Hey guys, let me get your opinion on something. I’m trying to help my friend and I’d like to get a female opinion. (This is the root explaining why you are asking the question)

Group of Girls: What?

You: Okay, I’ve only got a minute. Do you follow the advice given to you by your horoscopes? I have a reason for asking. Let me just get your opinions then I’ll tell you why I’m asking.

(There’s the time constraint and the open ended question)

Group of Girls: …

(Sometimes this will already start a conversation. But there is more. The second part of this opener transitions into a little story)

You: The reason I’m asking is because my friend met a girl at a party last weekend, who said that her horoscope told her that she would meet her future husband. They actually hooked up. Now, the strange thing is, ever since then, my friend can’t stop thinking of her. He always wants to hang out with this girl, 24/7. He says he’s in love with her. Do you think it’s the horoscope’s prediction or just psychology?

Group of Girls: …

(This will lead to conversations about astrology, destiny and a lot of other topics.)

Keep in mind: A good opener is NOT just about the words you say but about HOW you communicate in these 4 levels:

Level 1: The words that you say.

Level 2: The vocal intonation you use.

Level 3: The type of eye contact, facial expression, gestures, and body language you display.

Level 4: The attitude you are feeling, and the energy you are projecting.

What does that mean?

It means just because you know the WORDS, does not mean you can USE the opener. It comes down to PRACTICE and REPETITION.

P.S. Learn How to Get Your Ex Back NOW!

10 Secrets To A Successful Approach

You see an attractive woman. You don’t know her. You have no “excuse” to talk to her. Can you walk up to her and start a conversation – the kind of conversation that’s going to lead to attraction and more?

This is a skill any man can master. And one no man can afford to ignore – if you can’t comfortably talk to strangers, you’ve excluded 99.9% of the women whose path you’re going to cross in life.

So if you’re not approaching SUCCESSFULLY and CONSISTENTLY, take a look at this list. Print it out and keep it with you. Master these and your life WILL change.

1. Do “warm up sets” before you get to the bar/club/party/park. Somewhere nearby, do a few approaches that “don’t count” until you’re in a talkative, social state of mind. The world’s best pick up artists do this.

2. Be “social” not a “shark.” The guy who walks into a bar, circles around a few times, and then gets the courage to approach women one by one is going home alone. Women KNOW this type. Talk socially to everyone and have fun – you’re not a starving hunter desperate for a meal.

3. Smile. That one’s easy.

4. Have a couple of “go-to” openers – things you can say to start a conversation that you KNOW will work. You don’t need 50, 500, or 5000. 3 or 4 is just fine. Pick a couple you like…

5. Approach right away. Once she notices you looking (she will — women have eyes in the back of their head), you’re either going to be “confident” or “creepy,” so be confident and approach. More advanced guys can play the eye contact game, but if you’re having trouble successfully starting a conversation 99% of the time, keep it simple.

6. Use relaxed, confident body language. Get your wingman to watch you and critique.

7. It doesn’t matter who she is with. Attractive women rarely do things alone. So get used to the idea that you’re going to have to meet the people she is with at the same time as you meet her. (Day Game is sometimes an exception to this). Whether her friends are male or female, approach anyway. If she’s off-limits, they’ll tell you. We don’t have space to go into this in detail here, but women who have guys in their group are more likely to have a same-night encounter anyway.

8. Eye contact. There’s another easy one. Split it equally among everyone in her group.

9. Project your voice. Put your hand on your chest, just below your pectorals. Experiment with your voice until you can feel vibrations in your hand. That’s the way you want to talk. Be too loud rather than too quiet.

10. Have something to say – you’re going to have to do 90% of the talking at first. Don’t keep talking about whatever your opener was about. When she starts breaking into the conversation, asking your name, where you’re from, what you do for a living – that’s when you know she’s attracted. Content provided by Savoy from Love Systems.

P.S. Learn How to Get Your Ex Back NOW!

The 15 Laws of Attraction

Before you go out

1. The “Game” begins as soon as you leave the house. Women notice you before you approach them. They should always see you having fun, being social, and looking good. (Going out with fun people/good wingmen and to places you like helps with this.)

2. Dress in a way that is fashionable and expresses your identity. Most women see fashion as self-expression. How do you want her to see you? Dress that way. You can’t avoid this – if you dress to blend in, she’ll just think of you as the kind of guy who wants to blend in. There are some great tips and a how-to guide with before and after pictures in the Magic Bullets Handbook.

You see a beautiful woman…

3. Move your feet. If you get the eyes-feet reflex going (i.e., see a hot girl, start walking over to the hot girl), everything else will – eventually – take care of itself. Get this down until it’s automatic. The longer you delay an approach, the harder it will be. Don’t skip this.

4. Memorize five good openers (opening lines) so you always have one ready to go. If you don’t have this, you’ll often stumble on the beginning of the conversation or even talk yourself out of approaching in the first place. If you don’t have a set of good “go-to” openers that you know work.

The first few seconds…

5. Body language – this is a massive topic and great body language can almost pick up a girl all by itself. Fundamentals for the first few minutes include eye contact, shoulders back and relaxed, hands calm and not in your pockets, standing up straight (don’t fidget), head straight (not tilted). Stand like you would if you owned the world.

6. Speak up! Most men speak too softly when approaching women. Especially at bars and clubs, she must hear you clearly the first time and it must cut across other conversations, the music, etc. Also, use your “chest voice” (Google it) and not your “head voice.”

7. Don’t “milk” the opener. Whatever you said when you came over to talk to her, switch off that topic after a minute. That’s crucial. You want her to see you as an attractive, interesting man, not as “the guy I talked to about such-and-such.”

Getting into the conversation…

8. Be FUN. Don’t be too serious or take yourself or the conversation too seriously. If you look like you’re having fun and enjoying yourself, she will have fun too. Fun is contagious…

9. … but don’t be a dancing monkey. You’re not trying to become her personal clown or court jester. Have fun and be fun, but don’t try to entertain.

10. Some things that are great for attraction and are also fun include storytelling, teasing, and role plays. It’s okay if you prefer one or two of these – each of these techniques has its own skill set. Go with what works for you.

11. Avoid “interviews.” Don’t ask her too many questions. A question or two shows some interest in who she is as a person, but more than that is what every guy does; it’s boring and a turnoff. It’s also a waste – asking her a question about herself does nothing to attract her or let her get to know your good qualities. Instead, make statements. E.g., instead of asking where she’s from, make a guess. Or tell her where you’re from and she’ll do the same.

12. Similarly, don’t play tourist in her life. So you find out she’s a stewardess/porn star/nuclear scientist and you’re curious to know more. Save it. If she’s attracted to you, you’ll have all the time in the world to ask whatever you want.

13. NEVER leave a conversation because you “run out of things to say.” Force yourself to stay. Your brain will learn, if it is forced to, how to improvise. Or use one of the hundreds of proven “things to say” (called routines) in the Routines Manual. Be strict with yourself on this.

Making attraction STICK

Some guys think of attraction as something that takes a long time but once you got it, it’s permanent. That’s doubly wrong. Women feel attracted to men all the time, and it doesn’t take long – within minutes of beginning a conversation. But if you don’t do anything to solidify or lock in that attraction, it goes away as quickly as it came.

14. Qualification is the best way to keep her attracted. By making her work a bit for you and by leading the conversation to a place where you and her admit that you are interested in each other, you’re not some fleeting guy… you’re a guy she needs more of.

15. Phone numbers are not attraction. Getting a phone number does not mean she is attracted to you. Getting a phone number before she is attracted to you is next to useless.

P.S. Learn How to Get Your Ex Back NOW!

If you ever break any of these 15, print out the list, carry it in your wallet, and review them until they are instinctive and you don’t even need to think about them anymore. Content provided by Savoy from Love Systems.

The most important thing to get good with girls

Ask yourself…

1. When was the last time I went out?

2. While I was out, did I open sets often enough?

3. While in set, did I push as far as possible?

In those 3 easy questions there are tons of ways you may find you sabotage yourself.

Balance is vital in life, but real progress takes real energy. The WORST thing you can do is to NOT go out much.

The best techniques mean nothing, if you’re not actually approaching.

You have to make a commitment. Get in the field. It’s time to go out. It’s time to approach.

And that’s not all.

Beyond showing up, and beyond playing, we must always be PUSHING to the next point.

The key is FORCING. If you’re ever wondering “how can I get past this anxiety?” The most

effective way is to not offer yourself a choice. Don’t even let it be a question, instead just:

DO. ACT. PUSH. Soon enough, you’ll open.

Temptation will pull you towards comfort, but this is the enemy of progress. You must push

past comfort in each of your experiences.

FORCE into attraction. When that is down

FORCE into qualification. Get that in place

FORCE into the next step. The cycle can not

and should not end.

Never let yourself succumb to the dreaded monster of self comfort, for if you

do, it will be the end of the BEST version of you.

It doesn’t have to end that way though, it won’t be decided by chance or destiny. It

is decided through one thing alone, one simple question you must answer for yourself:

Will you perpetually push yourself past the next step through EXPERIENCE?

The choice is yours alone.

P.S. A couple more weeks and the Love Systems Super Conference will be taking place in Las Vegas. There are only few seats left, so hurry up!

P.P.S. Here is a video of Love Systems coach “Future” giving a talk at the conference last year.

30-Minute VIDEO: Matador and Asian Playboy (JT Tran) on Direct Game and Body Language

Questions answered in the first video (part 1):
1) How did Matador and Asian Playboy meet?
2) What was Project Hollywood like?
3) What is Indirect good for and how long should you practice it?
4) What is Masculine, Sexual Charisma?
5) How effective is kino?
6) How can YOU increase your phone close rate by 15%?
7) Response to “I have a boyfriend.”
8) What is the D-Phase?
9) What are some good Cavemaning and Buying Temperature tactics?
10) What are some examples of Direct Openers?
11) What do you say after a Direct Opener?

Questions answered in the second video (part 2):
1) What do you do when you go Direct but don’t have enough Passive Value or attraction?
2) What is the Fuckable line?
3) Do you Neg or use a False Time Constraint when you go Direct?
4) How do I make the Perfect Approach (ie “Sticking the Approach”)?
5) What is the difference between Direct versus Indirect?
6) What is the #1 problem that Asian men face?
7) The PUA Spin – How you use it determines if it is Buying Temperature Gambit or a Sexual Compliance Test
8) How can I come off as Non-Creepy?
9) How do I answer the question, “How old are you?”
10) What is the Asian Fountain of Youth Kiss Close?
11) How do I save face if I get blown out using a Direct Opener?
12) What is the Boomerang and how do you use it to reboot a conversation?

Questions answered in the 3 video (part 3):

1) How successful is a Direct Opener?
2) How do you know if you’re in COMFORT?
3) What is the C-Phase: Compliance, Comfort, & Connect?
4) How do I build social proof and value using Direct Game?
5) What do you say to a group before you pull your target?
6) How to use Non-Verbal Social Pressure & Compliance Testing
7) What is difference between Direct Group Game versus Indirect Holding Court?
8) How do you approach a two-set?
9) What is Body Language Positioning (BLP)?
10) A RARE example of a BLP Maneuever
11) What is “Cuntpunting”?
12) What is the E-Phase: Evaluate, Extract & Escalate?
13) Do you ever use a wingman?
14) BLP Example of the Sidestep Maneuver
15) Why you need Social Proof to get the HB9 and HB10
16) Disadvantage of Direct Game
17) Advantage of Direct Game
18) Where does Storytelling and DHVs come into play?
19) What is the timeframe from A-Phase to F-Phase?
20) Why Asian men need to evolve from Indirect Game to Direct Game



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Day Game Pick-Up: James Marshall vs. Sasha Daygame

Pick-Up Starts at 4:23!

P.S. If you like day game, this is a must: How to Pick Up a Girl.



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Neil Strauss (Style) Interview with Brad P.

The Horse Girl Opener by Brad P.

Point to a girl with a “Don’t I know you?” look on your face. Then, say “Do you like horses?”

It’s a strange question and it makes her wonder “Why would he ask me this? I need to know!”

Her: “Yes / No / Maybe.”

You: “I’m asking because in my 7th grade there was a girl who loved horses. She drew horses on her binder and ran around making horse noises. We called her the weird horse girl. You
look just like her.”

Her: (laughing) “I’m not the weird horse girl. Where did you go to school?”

You: “I’m not sure if you’re her. Maybe you won’t admit it. But if you are, I want to say sorry. In school I was the cool kid. I made fun of the horse girl. Now I’m trying to be a better person and I never make fun of people. I promised myself if I ever saw you I’d apologize.”

Her: (smiling) “Awwww…I guess I can forgive you.”

You: (go for the hug)


The Two-Part Kiss Opener

You are probably familiar with opinion openers like the jealous girlfriend opener, who lies more etc. The problem with these openers is that they appeal mostly to women. And as you know women often go out with guys (mixed set) who are “just friends”. So how about an opinion opener for mixed sets?

The two-part kiss opener appeals to guys first and foremost. But girls get super into it also. And it gives you a way to AMOG (to be the Alpha Male Of the Group) guys in front of women. The opener goes like this:

You: Hey guys, we’re having a debate and need a quick opinion on something. If a guy is dating a girl and she goes out to a bar with her friends one night and makes out with a guy just for fun, is it cheating?
Group: Yeah, it’s cheating.
You: Okay, that makes sense. So here’s the real question. And I’ll tell you why I’m asking in a second…If she goes out and gets drunk and makes out with a GIRL for fun, is it cheating?
Group: (the responses will vary, but if any guys say “no,” you can bust on them for having a
double-standard etc.)
You: Okay. Interesting. The reason I’m asking is because my friend over there has been dating this girl. And she likes to go out and get drunk and make out with girls. Now, some guys might be into that, but it pisses him off and he thinks it’s cheating. She says it isn’t. So we were trying to figure out who was right.
Group: (discussion ensues, which you will have to soon cut off and move into your next piece of material because they will go on and on about this and stale the topic).


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