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Erik von Markovik, better known by his stage name Mystery, is a figure who has sparked considerable debate and discussion within both the dating scene and wider public discourse. A Canadian who rose to prominence in the early 2000s, von Markovik has been a polarising figure due to his unconventional approach to social dynamics and relationships, particularly the way in which men and women interact. This article aims to shed light on the multifaceted personality of Erik von Markovik, exploring his methods, the impact of his work, and the controversies that surround him, while adhering to a narrative rich in complexity and varied in its sentence structure.

Decoding the Mystery Method: An analytical dive into Erik von Markovik’s unique system of interpersonal communication and attraction, exploring its stages and appeal.

At the heart of von Markovik’s philosophy is the “Mystery Method”, a system he developed and refined over years of social experimentation and observation. This method, detailed in his book ‘The Mystery Method: How to Get Beautiful Women Into Bed”, provides a framework for interpersonal communication and attraction, focusing on stages such as attraction, comfort and seduction. Von Markovik’s approach is analytical, breaking down social interactions into components that can be studied and mastered. This methodical approach has attracted a following among men who find traditional social cues and dating practices difficult to navigate.

Controversy in the art of seduction: Examining the criticisms and ethical debates surrounding the Mystery Method’s impact on human relationships and social dynamics.

However, von Markovik’s methods have not been without their critics. Some argue that the Mystery Method, with its routines and scripts, commodifies human relationships and reduces the complexity of human interaction to a series of manipulable steps. Critics also point to the ethical implications of using psychological techniques to influence the behaviour of others, suggesting that it can lead to manipulative and deceptive practices. Despite these criticisms, von Markovik’s influence on the “pick-up artist” community is undeniable, and many consider his work to be pioneering in the field of dating and social dynamics.

The Enigmatic Appeal of Control: How the Mystery Method offers a semblance of control in the unpredictable world of dating, resonating with those navigating evolving social norms.

The appeal of Erik von Markovik’s teachings lies in their promise of control and certainty in the inherently unpredictable realm of human relationships. For many, the Mystery Method offers a roadmap through the maze of social cues and romantic signals, a way to demystify the often bewildering world of dating. This appeal is particularly strong at a time when traditional social structures and norms are constantly evolving, leaving many to navigate these changes without clear guidelines.

Beyond the method: A Cultural Phenomenon: Erik von Markovik’s transition from author to cultural icon through The Pickup Artist, sparking widespread discussions about attraction and ethics.

Von Markovik’s impact extends beyond the pages of his book or the seminars he has led. He became a cultural figure through his reality television show, “The Pickup Artist,” which aired on VH1. The show, which featured von Markovik coaching hapless men on how to improve their dating lives, brought his theories and practices to a wider audience and sparked debates about the nature of attraction, the role of gender dynamics in dating, and the ethical considerations of his methods.

Assessing the legacy of a dating guru: Reflecting on the dual nature of von Markovik’s contributions to personal empowerment and the ethical issues raised within the dating paradigm.

In discussing the legacy of Erik von Markovik, it is important to acknowledge the complexity of his contributions. On the one hand, he has provided tools and confidence to those who have felt marginalised by traditional dating paradigms. On the other hand, his work has raised important questions about the nature of consent, the ethical use of psychological techniques in personal relationships, and the perpetuation of gender stereotypes.

Masculinity, femininity and the dance of courtship: How the von Markovik controversy reflects broader social debates about gender relations and roles in modern courtship.

Furthermore, the controversy surrounding von Markovik and the pick-up artist community at large reflects broader social debates about masculinity, femininity, and the roles men and women play in the dance of courtship. In some ways, the controversy surrounding von Markovik serves as a mirror to our own uncertainties and evolving understandings of gender relations in the 21st century.

The digital age and the search for connection: Explores how von Markovik’s methods intersect with the shift towards digital dating, highlighting the tension between instant gratification and meaningful connections.

The story of Erik von Markovik is emblematic of the broader conversation about the pursuit of romantic relationships in the digital age. As the world transitions into a more connected yet emotionally distant society, the methods espoused by von Markovik offer a glimpse into the lengths to which individuals will go to forge connections. This exploration of von Markovik’s impact is not complete, however, without an examination of the cultural and societal changes that have shaped, and been shaped by, his methods.

Self-improvement at the heart of attraction: The role of the Mystery Method in advocating personal transformation and its implications beyond dating, within the cultural movement towards self-optimisation.

The digital revolution has changed the landscape of dating and relationships, with online platforms offering new ways to meet and connect with others. In this context, von Markovik’s teachings can be seen as both a precursor to and counterpoint to the swipe-right culture of digital dating. While online dating apps prioritise brevity and immediacy, von Markovik’s approach is deeply rooted in the nuanced and sometimes protracted strategies of face-to-face interaction. This contrast highlights the tension between the desire for instant gratification and the yearning for deeper, more meaningful connections.

In addition, von Markovik’s work prompts a reassessment of the role of self-improvement in the quest for romantic success. At its core, the Mystery Method is not only about attracting a partner, but also about personal transformation. Von Markovik advocates the development of self-confidence, storytelling and social intuition – skills that extend beyond the realm of dating into personal and professional life. In this light, von Markovik’s influence can be seen as part of a larger cultural movement towards self-optimisation and the pursuit of personal excellence.

A spectrum of perspectives on love and relationships: The diverse perspectives on von Markovik’s teachings and their place in the ongoing discourse on modern love and the ethics of seduction.

Yet the conversation around Erik von Markovik and the pick-up artist movement is far from monolithic. It encompasses a spectrum of perspectives, from staunch defenders to vehement critics, each contributing to a vibrant discourse on the nature of modern love and human connection. This plurality of views reflects the complexity of navigating romantic relationships in a world where traditional norms are constantly being challenged and redefined.

Evolving legacy in the face of changing dynamics: how Erik von Markovik’s work continues to fuel debates about the ethics of seduction, gender dynamics and the pursuit of romantic success in the 21st century.

As we move forward, the legacy of Erik von Markovik is likely to continue to evolve. His work serves as a catalyst for ongoing debates about the ethics of seduction techniques, the balance between manipulation and persuasion, and the intersection of gender dynamics and the pursuit of romantic success. These discussions are crucial to understanding not only the phenomenon of the pick-up artist movement, but also the broader challenges and opportunities of finding love in the 21st century.

At its core, Erik von Markovik’s story is a microcosm of the human condition – a search for connection, a desire for understanding and a journey of self-discovery. Whether you see him as a mentor, a provocateur or something in between, his impact on the cultural landscape of dating and relationships is undeniable. As we navigate the complexities of human connection, the discussions sparked by von Markovik’s work remind us of the constant challenge of understanding ourselves and others in the search for love and companionship.

Conclusion

Erik von Markovik, widely known by his pseudonym Mystery, emerges as a compelling figure in the landscape of dating and social dynamics. Known for his development of the ‘Mystery Method‘, von Markovik offers a systematic approach to interpersonal communication and attraction, encapsulated in his influential book ‘The Mystery Method: How to Get Beautiful Women into Bed. His method, which breaks down social interactions into manageable stages, has attracted both admiration for its analytical approach to understanding human interaction and criticism for potentially commodifying relationships and encouraging manipulative tactics.

Von Markovik’s prominence extends beyond his written work, most notably through his role in the reality television show The Pickup Artist, which has brought his theories to a wider audience and sparked discussions about the ethics of his methods, gender dynamics and the nature of attraction. His work lies at the intersection of the desire for control over the unpredictable realm of human relationships and the ethical considerations of using psychological techniques to influence others.

The narrative around von Markovik is deeply intertwined with broader societal shifts, particularly the transformation of dating landscapes in the digital age. His methods, which emphasise personal transformation and the development of social skills, offer a counterpoint to the fleeting connections fostered by online dating platforms, highlighting a cultural tension between the quest for instant gratification and the pursuit of meaningful relationships.

The discourse surrounding von Markovik reflects a spectrum of views, addressing issues of self-improvement, the ethics of seduction, and the evolving norms of romantic relationships. As a figure who significantly influenced the dialogue about dating and attraction, von Markovik’s legacy inspires ongoing debate about the challenges and opportunities of seeking love and connection in today’s world. Emblematic of the complexities of the human condition, his story continues to resonate as a tale of personal discovery, social navigation and the universal search for companionship.

P.S. This Mind Hack Makes Girls Chase YOU!

Tip #1: Make eye contact. It’s much better to start a conversation with an eye contact. Good eye contact is important as it demonstrates self-confidence. A lot of guys are so nervous talking to a girl that they don’t really look into her eyes more than a second. You should be able to tell what color her eyes are. To intensify the eye contact, first look in her left eye, then the right and back again. But don’t overdo it.

Tip #2: Say “Hi” with energy. When you approach a woman, say “Hello” in a flirty way. It will make her think you’re sexier than the average geek who walks up to her and gives her a shy “Hi”.

Tip #3: Shake her hand a bit longer. When you shake her hand, let your hand stay on hers for a bit too long and then brush against her hand as you pull back. Do this while smiling and looking into her eyes sincerely.

Tip #4: Mention her name from time to time. Everyone likes to hear his/her name. So repeat her name slowly from time to time in the conversation.

Tip #5: Lower your volume during the conversation. Speak slowly and lower your volume so she has to lean towards you to listen.

Tip #6: Be Playful. Make fun of her playfully from time to time. Imagine she’s your little sister. Have fun together. Find a funny nickname for her. But again, don’t overdo it.

Tip #7: Be the touchy guy?. Touch her as soon you can during the conversation (while approaching is the best). Touch her on the upper arm, shoulder while you laugh.

Tip #8: Mirror her body language. People tend to like people who move and behave like them. Try to imitate her gestures and signs.

Tip #9: Let her talk and listen. This is probably the most important tip. Women love to talk, to tell someone about their feelings. And they always complain men don’t listen. So be different – learn to listen carefully. Don’t look around while she’s telling a story – of course she does notice when you’re looking at the hot waitress.

Tip #10: Open up. Tell her something intimate about yourself (for example: when was the last time you cried in front of somebody?). Ask her the same question. Talk about her childhood.

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If you want to get better with women, become a social person. The reasons are simple:

1) This way you get to know a lot of people – and a lot of women.

2) You lose your fear talking to women you don’t know.

3) You get better in conversation with people – and women can tell within minutes if not seconds who’s a social person and who’s a nerd.

4) You will become extremely magnetic to women. The reason for this is called “social proof” – a basic psychological principle. The story behind it is that if a lot people are doing something, others tend to believe it must be the right thing to do. That is, if you talk to a lot of people (at a party aso.) – this is what being social means – it boosts your value. You seem like the guy who knows everyone, and everyone seems to know you – except the person who’s watching you, this pretty girl drinking and joking with her friends. Now, she wants to know who that guy is, she is interested in you.

What does “being social mean”? This simply means that on every given event where a lot of people come together, you should interact with different women and man. Get to know people. Try to make a habit of it.

Maybe you say you are not a communicative person and never will be. If you look at yourself like this, you can only lose. A sentence like “I can’t do this” is called a “limiting belief” – something that will automaticly hold you off reaching this special goal (the what you can’t do). Instead try to look at it like a challenge or a game that you are trying to win. Are you really that weak and small that you can’t talk to people you don’t know? Of course you are not. You only don’t want to expose yourself to a territory that is new to you. But it’s important to get out of the comfort zone – otherwise you don’t learn a thing and everything will remain as it is – you being alone.

One of the things women look for in a man is (social) status. Standing alone in a corner with a beer in your hand watching all the other people having fun is the lowest status you can demonstrate.

You think women are too busy talking to someone to notice it? As if! Women have something like a radar for social status. They notice in seconds who?™s the center of attraction on a party (and feel drawn to this person) and who?™s the loser nobody?™s talking to.

So, try to become the center of attraction interacting with people. It?™s not easy, especially if you are not a social person. But it?™s no nuclear science either, that means you can learn it. It’s about what you do instead of what you think that you are. You are not social not because you were born like that but probably because you don’t talk to new people or are alone at work and don’t talk to someone. It’s all a habit. If you talk to new people everyday you will become social.

Maybe you don’t know what to say. How about asking a question that has been on your mind lately? Something like “Hi! I have a quick question for you – do you think being social has to do something with your genes? Me and my buddy have a discussion on this…”.

Or you use something canned like Hi guys! I have a quick question for you – who lies more, men or women? It’s a topic everyone likes to talk about and nobody will shut you down on this one. The tricky thing with this opener (a question or statement you start a conversation with) is that you need to explain why you are asking. So say something like “I read a female magazine (at the dentist) today and they did this study. Me and my buddy are arguing about it all day…”

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Don?™t know what to do in the comfort phase? Try these questions and she will be hanging on your lips:

1. You must plan your own death. How old are you? How does it happen? And what is the funeral like?

2. You can be any animal. What are you? You can marry any animal except your own species. What kind of animal do you marry?

3. You can pick your parents from any point in time; they can be real or fictional. Who are they?

4. We have found a stargate and you can travel to any location and time. To what 3 places would you go? Okay. Now, what if once you cross through, you learn you cannot return? In which of the three places would you stay?

5. If you had to have a tattoo, what and where would it be?

6. You can invite five people to dinner, real or fictional, from any place or time. Who do you invite to dinner and why?

Interpretations of her answers:

1. Talking about how you would like to die says a lot about how you would like to live. This is a great point of reference for commonality. Finding someone who wants to live like you want to live is really special. Most of us aren’t living as we’d like to, sharing that desire brings you that much closer to achieving it.

2. Confident people pick animals who possess qualities they like about themselves. Insecure people pick animals they admire. When selecting an animal for their spouse, they usually select an animal that is least like their last or current BF. For instance, if she says she would be a dolphin it means she admires freedom, intelligence, cuteness, beauty. If she chooses a dog for her spouse’s animal, it means that she abhors disloyalty and her ex probably cheated on her.

3. Only those most comfortable with themselves and their families will answer with their own parents. The person’s choices for her parents often reflect the qualities and/or conditions that were absent in her upbringing. Rather than draw attention to this, point out that fact that these are qualities which they want to instill in their own children. For instance if her dad was Einstein, she would like her children to be smart and great
thinkers.

4. The places in time and space people choose tell you what kinds of feelings they want to feel when they are free of limits and stressors in their lives. If they choose Mars, they like to feel discovery and newness. If they choose prehistoric Earth, they like uncertainty and danger. The place they decide to stay often represents the extreme feelings they are most comfortable with. For instance if their third option was Antarctica, they are most comfortable feeling alone, versus discovery or danger.

5. Tattoos represent permanence. In this day and age, many young people have tattoos, so they will probably show you theirs. This is good, but not the point of the exercise. Let them show it to you. But ask them if they get another one. The symbol or picture holds great meaning to them. The location they would get it likely represents a point of vulnerability to them, or perhaps their sense of style. It’s up to you to decide which it is.

6. The five people question is the hardest to sort out. You will be tempted to analyze the significance of each one. Don’t do this, as it is not the point. Instead, the five people represent what the person finds attractive or interesting within a group. For instance, if she picks a diverse group of men and women, she prefers a variety of friends and interests. If she picks all important people, such as actors and celebrities, she is more concerned with high social value. If she picks all people that will get along, she likes everyone to be comfortable and happy. If, like me, she picks people deliberately to spark controversy and debate…well, you get the picture.

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1. Warm up: Approach at least 5 random people on the street before going to a club.

2. Get to the club half an hour before everyone is going. This way you reduce the chances girls have already been approached by some guys and have their bitch shield? on. Also, they are still willing to be approached by a confident, funny guy. A guy like you!

3. Coming into a club smile and open a set immediately. It doesnt matter what you say, what counts is that you look like a social guy. As you open, make a habit to touch the person on the shoulder lightly. Forget about people judging you. I think Neil Strauss, author of The Game, puts said it best: People don’t really care about what you’re doing in a club, they are too busy worrying what other people are thinking about THEM.

For example ask ‘where is the VIP room? How many rooms are here?’? etc. Pretend to walk away and then ask ‘Hey, are you best friends? Yeah? Because there is a cool test for best friends I’ve read in the Cosmopolitan.’? Now they will wanna know why a guy reads Cosmopolitan (you were at the dentist and it was the only magazine in the waiting room).
Do the best friends test and continue with other routines.

Can’t find the right set to open? Ask the barman or the bouncer something (for example: ‘Why is the club is so empty?’ Try to talk at least for a minute. It’s important that girls/ guys see you talking to people.

4. Place yourself at the bar facing the dance floor. Sit down if you can and put your elbow on the counter. Don’t order drinks and hold the bottle in front of your chest (it’s what everybody does and you’re not everybody).

5. As you are there early, girls will come up to the bar and order drinks. If they are close to you, touch her lightly on the shoulder saying ‘Hey, what perfume is that?’ As she goes away, say: ‘the reason why I’m asking is because a want to make a present to a female friend, but I’m absolutely clueless. And I think if I ask in a store they will simply recommend me the most expensive one…’

Sometimes she will say ‘Oh, I don’t even know?…’ Don’t let you fool you, say: ‘Come on, you probably have like 17 small bottles in front of your mirror.’ She probably will say: ‘No!! I’m not that type of girl!’? You: Ok, 16 then’?. Tease her a bit, flirt with her. Don’t forget to engage her friend.

When they finally want to move along, join them or say ‘Hey, you seem like really cool guys, can I join you until my friends show up? They must be here any minute…’? If they say no, keep your smile and don’t worry: They are not your last set. (And you probably will see them later in the club anyway and it will be easy to continue your conversation).

Stay at your place and open sets immediately that are to your left or right saying ‘Hey, did you see these (girls)? She said she likes your ass!’ (it doesn’t matter if it’s a guy or a girl). Transition with your routines. New game, new luck!

P.S. Two important things to keep in mind:

1) Never let them affect your state in a negative way (at least never show it!), because it will fuck up your next set. Learn to not give a fuck about stuff like that and especially shit tests.

2) Always kino escalate (touching)! Otherwise it will be really awkward to touch for the first time.

Need some inspiration? Check this video:

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According to Neil Strauss, author of The Game, there are several switches that must be flipped in a woman to make her feel attracted to you. Here is his list (there is no order, the switches just should be flipped at some point)

1. You must show her that you’re safe. Trust is an important issue for most women. This must be demonstrated.

2. You must show her that you have either ambition, motivation, or job/financial security. In other words, you must have a life and goals. This is about demonstrating that you have STABILITY and AMBITION. You don’t have to be successful, you just have to show the potential to be successful (unless you’re in your 30s, at which point you should have achieved something).

3. You must show her that you’re different than the other guys, that you are not generic or boring, that she can learn something from you or grow with you, that you have a sense of adventure or creativity or spirituality. This is about showing her that you HAVE SOMETHING TO OFFER, even if you don’t give it to her in the moment. This is where demonstrations of higher value (DHVs) are useful.

4. You must be the PRIZE of the room. She wants a guy others will envy her for, that she can brag about to her friends. This is where social proof comes in, where story-telling comes in. It’s also where alpha qualities come in, cocky/funny, and not supplicating. This point is about demonstrating all of the many qualities of CONFIDENCE, LEADERSHIP, AUTHORITY, and POPULARITY

5. It’s a big world and we all feel alone in it, so if you can demonstrate that you UNDERSTAND her and where she comes from, she will feel chemistry. This can largely be done through demonstrating either cultural, mental, emotional, world view, humor, or life/background commonalities. The more obscure and rare a trait that you connect on, the more chemistry you create. This point is about demonstrating COMMONALITIES in order to trigger CHEMISTRY.

6. You need an aura of depth and mystery. You must maybe show a vulnerable or wounded side of yourself, you must not give away everything for free, you must be a puzzle she wants to figure out and maybe even have a wound she can heal. Switch #6 is about hooking her with your DEPTH and MYSTERY.

7. You must show her that you are NOT horny, but sexual. This is where social proof comes in too, also demonstrating an understanding of her world (liking her for who SHE is). The idea here is to demonstrate your own LACK OF DESPERATION while showing her that you RECOGNIZE SOMETHING SPECIAL IN HER THAT ATTRACTS YOU TO HER. This is where QUALIFYING is useful, in other words demonstrating that you like her for who she is.

P.S. Always keep in mind that your body language tells more about you than anything else.

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There are a many pickup routines like “The Cube”, “Strawberry Fields” etc. that are well-known by now. Here is one that you might not know. It’s called The House and here is how it goes:

Tell her to imagine herself standing inside a house. As she is standing there, five things are taking place which demand her immediate attention:

1. A baby is crying.
2. The phone is ringing.
3. Somebody is knocking on the door.
4. Water is running in a sink.
5. Clothes are hanging outside to dry and it’s starting to rain.

Ask the her to tell you in which order she would take care of each of these problems. Once she tells you this, explain to her that her answers represent her priorities in life, since each problem has a specific meaning:

1. The baby represents her family.
2. The phone represents her love life.
3. The knocking on the door represents her friends.
4. The water represents money.
5. The clothes represents her career.

You may ask yourself whether it’s actually true. But in fact, it doesn’t really matter. Girls are not only interested and impressed as hell when they take this ‘test’, they want to believe that it’s real.

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Do you want more success with women in 2012? Then you need to check out these 7 simple tips to get the girl in 2012.

1. Meeting women isn’t just for Saturday nights

Bars and clubs are only a small part of the world. Branch out. Do some Day Game. Develop a social circle that generates attractive women for you to meet naturally. Build a lifestyle that puts beautiful women in your path. On the other hand, don?™t try to be one person when you meet women and another person in the rest of your life. If you need to be more social, be more social every day. If you need to be a better storyteller, be a better storyteller every day. And so on.

2. Write down your goals and how you plan to get there

Studies show that people who write down and commit to their goals are over 600% more effective. And don?™t forget to do a small step towards them every day.

3. Learn how to flirt over text/sms

If you date women who are under 40, you need to learn to text/sms. Texting should build attraction, increase sexual tension, qualify her, and let her get to know you better. In other words, everything we used to have to do in person. A phone number alone isnt that valuable, but if you know how to use text conversations to get her dying to see you again? – its money!

4. Schedule your priorities. Prioritize your schedule

Don’t leave what is important to you for if you have any time left at the end of the day/week/month/year/etc. Put what is important to you on your schedule and stick to it. That means some things will have to fall off. That’s okay. It’s much better to choose what you don’t have time for than to let what is urgent keep you away from what is important.

5. Get good wingmen

Good wingmen force each other to go out, make each other do their approaches, and encourage and help each other when they see something wrong. Good wingmen also let you have a lot more success. While you can definitely attract women when you go out alone it’s a lot better if you have a wingman to help you out. And more fun too!

6. Upgrade your fashion and hairstyle

Clothes and hairstyle say so much about you. To a woman, your clothes and hairstyle are a choice – and she wants to know what they say about you. Are you fashionable and cool? Or out of touch and lame? Are you fun and fresh and exciting? Or boring and afraid to be yourself? Do you respect yourself and have attention to detail? Or do just wear whatever? Make 2012 the year you get your “look” SOLVED if they’re not already.

7. Be man enough to get help

Most men aren’t good at this. Women don’t have this problem. They ask for and share advice all the time – and get much more personal than most men. This gives women a social advantage. Redress the balance in your own life – get some advice!

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An attractive lifestyle is the best foundation you can give yourself to date more (and hotter) women. Best of all, it’s easy to do. It takes effort instead of skill. Here are the top 10 Lifestyle Secrets:

1. Lifestyle is the foundation that supports all your pick up skills (approaching, attraction, framing, etc.).

With an attractive lifestyle, you can get away with more “mistakes.” Guys who have terrible lifestyles can still be great with women – but they have much, much less room for error. Lifestyle isn’t enough by itself, but it sure makes everything else easier.

2. Lifestyle begins at home. Your living situation says SO much about you to a woman, and it’s not something you can avoid. If you want to date her or have sex with her, she’s probably going to see where you live.

It’s not about having the fancy address or the luxury mansion. Use your living space to tell her a story about yourself and hint that there’s more to come.

Use your home to show your identity. Did you and her bond over travel stories? Have pictures or objects from your travels kicking around. Each should have a story behind it…but only if she asks. Did you say you are passionate about cooking? Don’t have an empty fridge.

She’s going to assume that everything about how you look and how you live is a deliberate choice that you made. How she feels about these choices leads right in to how she feels about you.

Being true to an attractive identity is more important than fancy furniture or how big your mortgage is.

3. You are who you spend time with.

OK, that’s not literally true, but it’s true enough for a woman who might date you. Are your friends boring and unexciting? Are they all party animals? Is your TV your best friend, or do you have an interesting life?

For a woman, dating you means being part of your world. So introduce her to people and have friends who help you create a lifestyle that she wants to be part of.

4. Be more social and outgoing – every day.

Force yourself to meet one new person or have one social conversation you wouldn’t normally have. For one thing, practice and experience always pay off. The “social masters” put themselves in social situations all the time. Experience, experience, experience helps you become the person who intuitively knows “the right thing to say” in any situation.

Most guys these days use some form of Social Circle Mastery to meet and date hot women through friends and acquaintances and to break into social circles full of high-quality contacts and beautiful women. But you still have to meet people to make it work.

5. If you want to date more than one woman at a time, your lifestyle has to “fit.”

A woman is much more likely to accept you dating multiple women if you have a lifestyle that “fits.” If you have the kind of life where you are outgoing, constantly meeting new people, and very social, a woman is much more likely to accept you having multiple relationships than if she sees you as someone who stays in every night on your computer.

6. Passion conquers all.

We all know or have heard of the guy who lives in his friend’s basement but bring home attractive women any time he wants. To do this, you have to have great skills with women.

But even then, for a lot of these guys their lifestyle is not as bad as it looks. If you’re following your passion and your dream (going for your PhD, making it as a musician, artist, or writer), going back to school, etc – then your lifestyle can fit and be attractive – even if you’re in the basement.

In other words, do not confuse lifestyle with wealth. They are not at all the same thing.

7. Your job is not an excuse.

Some jobs can be lifestyle killers. Whether you’re working a million hours per week, busy every evening, weekend and holiday, your time is never your own, or if you have to live somewhere you don’t want – these are real lifestyle problems.

Unless it’s part of your identity and passion (e.g., endless shifts at the hospital could be worth it if you’re on your way to being a doctor and love medicine), fix this. There are other jobs. Even in this economy.

Ironically, a lot of guys in these 75-hour workweeks got into these careers because they wanted a better lifestyle. Do above-average pay, expensive clothes, and nice cars make you more attractive to women? All things being equal, sure. But 9 times out of 10, a woman is going to be more interested in the guy with interesting friends, experiences, and time and passion to pursue them over the banking drone who hates his job but can afford fancy restaurants.

It’s your life. If you don’t like something, change it. No one else will change it for you.

8. Showing is better than telling. If you have to tell, make her ask.

Your lifestyle is something that exists in reality. So don’t just talk about it, let her experience it. Remember that chart in the Magic Bullets Handbook with the different ways a woman could learn something about you and different effects it would have? That goes doubly true for lifestyle.

So if you have cool friends, introduce her to them. If you’ve got access to cool events, take her to them. And so on. Don’t talk about something you could just as easily do.

Sometimes you don’t have this option – like when you’re first meeting her. If there’s something you really want her to know about you, it’s often most effective to bait her into asking you about it.

A lot of this fits in Storytelling techniques. If you’re not used to embedding and baiting, re-read the chapter on Storytelling in the Magic Bullets Handbook. It builds stories up piece by piece so you have a workable model to communicate just about anything to her in a way that is attractive.

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