The Pick-Up Diary

Over 90% of communication is non-verbal. People get much more information from your body language and your tone than from your words. Body language is a powerful tool that can have a significant impact on how we’re perceived by others, especially in the realm of attraction. It’s no secret that women can be drawn to men who exhibit confidence, charisma, and genuine interest through their nonverbal cues.

Here are 5 simple body language tips that you can use right away:

1. Smile. Smile! SMILE! Most guys are so worried about what to say, how to react etc. so they almost always forget to smile when approaching! Or they come up with a fake smile. Practice smiling in front of a mirror. If you are smiling, your brain adapts automatically and puts you in a better mood. And, when you smile and are friendly, it also puts her in a better mood. A genuine smile can be one of the most attractive qualities a man can possess. When you smile, it shows that you’re approachable, friendly, and positive. Make sure your smile reaches your eyes, as this can make it appear more authentic and warm. Remember not to force a smile, as a fake grin can come across as insincere or creepy.

2. Speak louder. Most men are afraid to speak up, because they dont like to be judged by others. Forget about the others as they are too busy thinking about what others (including you) are thinking of them!

3. Speak slower. Confident people don’t talk like they are in a hurry. Also, if you slow down your talking, you’ll be much easier to understand (especially in loud clubs).

4. Eliminate nervous tics. Look at some videos of yourself do you have some tics that you need to get rid of? Silly hand gestures, stupid grimaces or eye twitches? Write down what you notice and try to eliminate them.

5. Dont hold your drink in front of your chest. Most guys do this and you dont want to be like most guys, dont you? Leave your drink at the bar or keep it low. But dont become Jerry Seinfeld walking around, looking around guy with in first place. Approach people, socialize!

6. Maintain confident posture

A confident posture is an essential foundation for exuding attractiveness. Stand tall with your shoulders back and your chest out. This position not only makes you appear more dominant and self-assured but also helps you feel more confident internally. Avoid slouching or crossing your arms, as these can signal insecurity or disinterest.’

7. Make eye contact

Eye contact is a potent nonverbal cue that can convey interest, trust, and confidence. When engaging with a woman, maintain steady eye contact. This demonstrates that you’re actively listening and genuinely interested in what she’s saying. However, be careful not to stare, as this can make the other person uncomfortable. Maintain a balance by occasionally looking away or breaking eye contact for a few seconds.

?8. Use open gestures

Open gestures, such as showing your palms or spreading your arms, can signal openness, trustworthiness, and confidence. These gestures can help you appear more inviting and put the other person at ease. When conversing with a woman, avoid closed-off body language like crossed arms or hiding your hands, as this can communicate that you’re not fully engaged or trustworthy.

9. Mirror her movements

Mirroring is a subtle technique that can help you establish rapport and create a sense of connection. By subtly mimicking a woman’s body language, gestures, or tone of voice, you can create an unconscious bond and make her feel more comfortable around you. Be cautious not to overdo it or make it obvious, as this can come off as creepy or insincere.

10. Respect personal space

While it’s essential to be close enough to engage in conversation, it’s also crucial to respect a woman’s personal space. Pay attention to her body language and adjust your proximity accordingly. If she seems uncomfortable or takes a step back, give her some room. Invading someone’s personal space can make them feel uneasy and damage your chances of building a connection.

11. Be mindful of your touch

Appropriate and well-timed touch can help create a deeper connection and build trust. Start with light, casual touches on her arm, hand, or shoulder when the conversation flows naturally or when emphasizing a point. Make sure to observe her reaction and be respectful of her boundaries. If she reciprocates or appears comfortable, you can gradually progress to more intimate touches.

Conclusion

Mastering the art of body language can significantly improve your ability to attract women and form meaningful connections. By incorporating these seven tips into your interactions, you’ll be well on your way to becoming a more captivating and irresistible presence. Remember that the key to success is being genuine, respectful, and attentive to the other person’s needs and boundaries.

P.S. Learn How to Get Your Ex Back NOW!

You probably know from experience that you can make a lot of mistakes interacting with women. Women are much more sensitive about social dynamics than men. They can figure out how experienced you are with women in minutes – if not in seconds.

The reason is simple: Women have a much higher interaction experience than men because on the one hand they interact much more than men in general (with men and women). On the other hand since they are 13 years old, guys are hitting on them. So the sum of experience women have with men is much higher than the other way round. Men have a lot to catch up on in this area.

What does this mean for you? Simply that the more experiences you make interacting with women, the BETTER you will get (provided that you don’t make the same mistakes again and again). This means you have to practice a lot. But how can you actually attract women?

1) Improve the way you dress.

Looks are NOT the most important part of attracting women, but they are important, because they affect how somebody who doesn’t know you will assess you. People judge by the looks and you have only seconds to demonstrate that you are a man of style. Don’t mess it up with boring sweaters and dirty sneakers.

You don’t have to dress like a gigolo either. If you look like a software engineer, try to loosen your clothes a little bit – add some color to it. Get rid of plaid and Hawaiian shirts. Look for some interesting necklaces, rings or wristbands. Why? Because every woman wants to know what they stand for. You also will stand out from the mass.

2) Become more social.

This simply means that on every given event where a lot of people come together, you should interact with different women and men. Get to know people. Try to make a habit of it.

This might be the most important tip. Why? Because one of the things women look for in a man is (social) status. Standing alone in a corner with a beer in your hand watching all the other people having fun is the lowest status you can demonstrate. You think women are too busy talking to someone to notice it? Think again. Women have something like a radar for social status. They notice in seconds who’s the center of attraction at a party (and feel drawn to this person) and who’s the loser nobody’s talking to.

So, try to become the center of attraction interacting with people. It’s not easy, especially if you are not a social person. But it’s no nuclear science either – you can definitely LEARN it. For example you can come up with: “Hi guys! I have a quick question for you – who lies more, men or women?” It’s a topic everyone likes to talk about and nobody will shut you down on this one. The tricky thing with this “opener” (a question or statement you start a conversation with) is that you need to explain why you are asking. So say something like “I read a female magazine (at the dentist) today and they did this study. Me and my buddy are arguing about it all day…”

If you are a shy person and can’t bring yourself to talk to “strangers”, please consider this: Shyness is not in your genes. It all comes back to a habit. For the most part you are shy because you don’t talk to people! Make the first step, than make the second and the third. And before you can say knife being social will become your new habit.

You don’t want to change yourself? Maybe this will motivate you: If you carry on doing what you’ve always done, you’ll carry on getting what you’ve always got – the same poor outcomes (NO girls, NO fun, NO happiness).

3) Be different.

This sounds like an ad slogan and is nonetheless a key point in attracting women. Try to develop a unique personality, your own point of view on anything. Have concrete goals in life.

Why? Because it makes you interesting, it makes you stand out from the last 10 or even 100 guys the girl you’re talking to hooked up with. It’s a fact: Women like men with (concrete!) goals because this demonstrates a strong, assertive character.

Being different also means that you can demonstrate (a special) value – something not everyone can do. This doesn’t mean that you have to play a greasy song on the guitar (but do so if you can!). For example you can ask her about the last time she laughed with all her heart (say a friend asked you this and you didn’t know what to answer first). Ask her to tell you about the happiest moment of her life or a special moment in her childhood and then tell yours. Try to relate to her thoughts and feelings, but don’t overdo it.

Read up on palm reading, dream interpretation or psycho tests (it’s not that difficult to memorize this stuff as all those “tests” work with given patterns) and use it on your next date. Women love all kinds of tests.

Don’t forget: it’s not only about the content but your presentation as 70-80 % of the communication is non-verbal. Facial expression, body language (posture, gestures) and tonality are extremely important. With that being said, is makes sense to work on your voice (learn to speak more slowly and with a deeper voice), your gestures (try to eliminate nervous movements etc.) and your gaze (practice smiling in from of a mirror). The most effective way to find out what you need to work on is to ask a good friend to videotape you (while approaching someone).

Although it’s a lot of work, it’s a lot of fun too! And you will get better every time you perform those things. So, don’t put it off, start practicing today!

P.S. Did you know that if she touches (or plays with) her hair she’s probably interested in you?

P.S. Learn How to Get Your Ex Back NOW!

Its a fact: Most guys who arent good with women dont use kino (kinesthetics), that is touching, at all! Some of them are so nervous meeting a girl that they forget about touching completely and when it comes to their mind it feels awkward (the logic: I havent touched her the whole time, so it would be strange to do it now).

However, one cannot overemphasise the importance of touching. In fact, studies show that 65 % of women accept the offer of a dance when being (briefly) touched on the arm – compared with 43 % when not being touched (Gueguen, N. 2007). On the street, 20 % of women are willing to give their telephone number when you approach with a brief touch on the upper arm. Without touching only 10 % agree. You are even 20 % more likely to get money from a stranger on the street if you approach with a brief touch on the upper arm.

The reason why touching is so effective is because it is unconsciously perceived as an indicator of high status (Major & Heslin, 1982; Summerhayes & Suchner 1978). And as you probably know nothing is more important for women than your status (not even shoes, because it?™s your status that is promising shoes etc.). From the evolutionary perspective, men with a high status are ideal because they are able to provide for the family.

Most women don?™t consciously register the touch, but unconsciously they feel a positive effect. And no, it?™s not weird being “the touchy guy” – as long as you are authentic. That means you need to be the touchy guy all the time, with everyone and not only with her in a cozy lounge. Give guys a high five, a friendly pat on the back, touch the upper arm of a girl when you ask for directions and your value will skyrocket (without being the old-bold-asshole in a Ferrari).

P.S. Learn How to Get Your Ex Back NOW!

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P.S. Learn How to Get Your Ex Back NOW!

Before you go out

1. The “Game” begins as soon as you leave the house. Women notice you before you approach them. They should always see you having fun, being social, and looking good. (Going out with fun people/good wingmen and to places you like helps with this.)

2. Dress in a way that is fashionable and expresses your identity. Most women see fashion as self-expression. How do you want her to see you? Dress that way. You can’t avoid this – if you dress to blend in, she’ll just think of you as the kind of guy who wants to blend in. There are some great tips and a how-to guide with before and after pictures in the Magic Bullets Handbook.

You see a beautiful woman…

3. Move your feet. If you get the eyes-feet reflex going (i.e., see a hot girl, start walking over to the hot girl), everything else will – eventually – take care of itself. Get this down until it’s automatic. The longer you delay an approach, the harder it will be. Don’t skip this.

4. Memorize five good openers (opening lines) so you always have one ready to go. If you don’t have this, you’ll often stumble on the beginning of the conversation or even talk yourself out of approaching in the first place. If you don’t have a set of good “go-to” openers that you know work.

The first few seconds…

5. Body language – this is a massive topic and great body language can almost pick up a girl all by itself. Fundamentals for the first few minutes include eye contact, shoulders back and relaxed, hands calm and not in your pockets, standing up straight (don’t fidget), head straight (not tilted). Stand like you would if you owned the world.

6. Speak up! Most men speak too softly when approaching women. Especially at bars and clubs, she must hear you clearly the first time and it must cut across other conversations, the music, etc. Also, use your “chest voice” (Google it) and not your “head voice.”

7. Don’t “milk” the opener. Whatever you said when you came over to talk to her, switch off that topic after a minute. That’s crucial. You want her to see you as an attractive, interesting man, not as “the guy I talked to about such-and-such.”

Getting into the conversation…

8. Be FUN. Don’t be too serious or take yourself or the conversation too seriously. If you look like you’re having fun and enjoying yourself, she will have fun too. Fun is contagious…

9. … but don’t be a dancing monkey. You’re not trying to become her personal clown or court jester. Have fun and be fun, but don’t try to entertain.

10. Some things that are great for attraction and are also fun include storytelling, teasing, and role plays. It’s okay if you prefer one or two of these – each of these techniques has its own skill set. Go with what works for you.

11. Avoid “interviews.” Don’t ask her too many questions. A question or two shows some interest in who she is as a person, but more than that is what every guy does; it’s boring and a turnoff. It’s also a waste – asking her a question about herself does nothing to attract her or let her get to know your good qualities. Instead, make statements. E.g., instead of asking where she’s from, make a guess. Or tell her where you’re from and she’ll do the same.

12. Similarly, don’t play tourist in her life. So you find out she’s a stewardess/porn star/nuclear scientist and you’re curious to know more. Save it. If she’s attracted to you, you’ll have all the time in the world to ask whatever you want.

13. NEVER leave a conversation because you “run out of things to say.” Force yourself to stay. Your brain will learn, if it is forced to, how to improvise. Or use one of the hundreds of proven “things to say” (called routines) in the Routines Manual. Be strict with yourself on this.

Making attraction STICK

Some guys think of attraction as something that takes a long time but once you got it, it’s permanent. That’s doubly wrong. Women feel attracted to men all the time, and it doesn’t take long – within minutes of beginning a conversation. But if you don’t do anything to solidify or lock in that attraction, it goes away as quickly as it came.

14. Qualification is the best way to keep her attracted. By making her work a bit for you and by leading the conversation to a place where you and her admit that you are interested in each other, you’re not some fleeting guy… you’re a guy she needs more of.

15. Phone numbers are not attraction. Getting a phone number does not mean she is attracted to you. Getting a phone number before she is attracted to you is next to useless.

P.S. Learn How to Get Your Ex Back NOW!

If you ever break any of these 15, print out the list, carry it in your wallet, and review them until they are instinctive and you don’t even need to think about them anymore. Content provided by Savoy from Love Systems.

Questions answered in the first video (part 1):
1) How did Matador and Asian Playboy meet?
2) What was Project Hollywood like?
3) What is Indirect good for and how long should you practice it?
4) What is Masculine, Sexual Charisma?
5) How effective is kino?
6) How can YOU increase your phone close rate by 15%?
7) Response to “I have a boyfriend.”
8) What is the D-Phase?
9) What are some good Cavemaning and Buying Temperature tactics?
10) What are some examples of Direct Openers?
11) What do you say after a Direct Opener?

Questions answered in the second video (part 2):
1) What do you do when you go Direct but don’t have enough Passive Value or attraction?
2) What is the Fuckable line?
3) Do you Neg or use a False Time Constraint when you go Direct?
4) How do I make the Perfect Approach (ie “Sticking the Approach”)?
5) What is the difference between Direct versus Indirect?
6) What is the #1 problem that Asian men face?
7) The PUA Spin – How you use it determines if it is Buying Temperature Gambit or a Sexual Compliance Test
8) How can I come off as Non-Creepy?
9) How do I answer the question, “How old are you?”
10) What is the Asian Fountain of Youth Kiss Close?
11) How do I save face if I get blown out using a Direct Opener?
12) What is the Boomerang and how do you use it to reboot a conversation?

Questions answered in the 3 video (part 3):

1) How successful is a Direct Opener?
2) How do you know if you’re in COMFORT?
3) What is the C-Phase: Compliance, Comfort, & Connect?
4) How do I build social proof and value using Direct Game?
5) What do you say to a group before you pull your target?
6) How to use Non-Verbal Social Pressure & Compliance Testing
7) What is difference between Direct Group Game versus Indirect Holding Court?
8) How do you approach a two-set?
9) What is Body Language Positioning (BLP)?
10) A RARE example of a BLP Maneuever
11) What is “Cuntpunting”?
12) What is the E-Phase: Evaluate, Extract & Escalate?
13) Do you ever use a wingman?
14) BLP Example of the Sidestep Maneuver
15) Why you need Social Proof to get the HB9 and HB10
16) Disadvantage of Direct Game
17) Advantage of Direct Game
18) Where does Storytelling and DHVs come into play?
19) What is the timeframe from A-Phase to F-Phase?
20) Why Asian men need to evolve from Indirect Game to Direct Game

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Pick-Up Starts at 4:23!

P.S. If you like day game, this is a must: How to Pick Up a Girl.

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We can verbally tell someone that we are attracted to the other person, but a majority of the time it is being told through our body language. That is also the most reliable way of telling if a woman is attracted to you. Words can be deceived, but the body never lies (that’s why we have lie detector tests).

Not every girl will exhibit the same body language signs to show that she is attracted to you, but here are 3 body language signs to look out for. If you see her doing any of these, you can tell that she is attracted to you.

1. Hair touching
This is a classic. It has evolutionary merits, but all you need to know is that if she is playing with her hair while you’re talking to her, she is attracted to you.

2. Interlocking Fingers
Whenever you hold a woman’s hand, is she interlacing her fingers with yours or not? Or if you give her a high five and you hold your hand up, does she interlace her fingers with yours? These are simple physical tests you can do to test if she is attracted to you. If she interlocks her fingers with yours, she is definitely attracted.

3. Licking Her Lips
How do you know when a woman is ready to be kissed? Pay close attention to a her lips. Women will lick their lips, apply lipstick, or slightly pout their lips when they are ready to be kissed. These are subconscious invitations for you to make a move!

Reading body language the right way is really important when it comes to attracting women. Read them wrong and she will reject you. Read them correctly and your dating life will be turned upside down.

What is subtext?

For acting, subtext is the underlying meaning behind spoken words as interpreted by an actor. What does that mean? Basically you’re adding additional meaning to your spoken words by the way you say them. Let’s say you have the following (cheesy) script for a scene to act in:

John and Mary are alone in the bedroom. Mary is upset and John is comforting her.

“John: Mary, everything is going to be ok, I just want you to know that I love you.”

Now you’re  going to play John in this scene there is a lot of information you’re going to need in order to apply the proper subtext to your dialogue. Things like:

What is the relationship between John and Mary?
If they are siblings then the line would be spoken much differently than if they were lovers.

– What happened just before?
– What if this scene took place right after they had sex?
– How would you reflect that in the above line of dialogue?

This is all information that can be implied with the proper subtext.

So, what does this have to do with game? Everything!

Because – and you probably have heard this a lot – it doesn’t matter WHAT you say, it’s HOW you say it. Women are MASTERS at subtext, they know that there is loads of information hidden in the way something is said. That’s why women can get so bitchy over seemingly trivial things that guys say; they know what were thinking!

So how do you use subtext effectively? Let’s have an example:

Let’s say you’re in a venue gaming and you see a great set. Now in any given set at the venue, realistically, the subtext of the dialogue you exchange with them is going to be “I’m trying to win you over and make you like me.” A lot of guys subconsciously use this subtext when they open and are often blown out. Why? Because the women read into your subtext and knew exactly what you were doing, this is why you will hear “Is that a line?” often, even if she hadn’t heard it before.

A better way to approach is to use the subtext of your opener. This is how most successful PUAs operate. For instance, Cajun’s opener involves him asking girls if he looks like a drug dealer, so the subtext is simply that it’s bothering his that he look like a drug dealer and he needs their opinion. When he says the opener he puts himself in the mind frame that it JUST happened to him so that his subtext is believable.

Cajun holds the view that the best way to approach is to look at the venue as a stage and look at each set as a scene you can enter into. Instead of using the above mind frames when opening try to use the subtext of a completely made up scenario that makes you exude attractiveness. Enter into the set under the subtext of “I just slept with all of these girls” and I will communicate that to them by the way I speak, not by the words I’m saying. All of your dialogue will remain the same as it normally was.

So what happens? They catch on very quickly and you will create attraction almost instantaneously. Women LOVE guys that they can’t quite figure out, so if you go in acting like you just slept with them then you are basically a social enigma, which is like crack to them.

And this is why you can talk to them about robots for 3 mins and then all of a sudden make out! Subtext is the reason. You don’t always have to use the subtext of “I just slept with these girls”. You can use whatever you want, but this one works very well.

Subtext is one of those things that’s pretty hard to grasp through reading. That’s why Cajun and other Love Systems instructors created the DVD set “Beyond Words” so you can visually see it. In the DVD you can see Cajun teach in more depth other non-verbal techniques to attract women using your body language.

P.S. If you have any doubts about Cajun, check out Cajun picking up some hot girls. It’s a classic by now.

The guys from Love Systems finally did it: The Body Language and Physical Escalation DVD is finished. Here is an interview with Cajun, a great PUA and one of the guys behind the DVD:

What is the Beyond Words DVD Home Study Course about?

Cajun: A lot of guys ask me on the forums and in emails how they can improve their body language so they can better approach and attract women. It’s hard to show it to them because it is something you have to see. A lot of body language is very subtle and that is hard to convey in text. You can read about body language in books but it’s not the same as when you can visually see it.

A couple months ago I flew to London to work with Vercetti, who is a trained Shakespearean actor and fellow Love Systems coach, to make this DVD home study course. We wanted to share our newest and proven methods to attract women using non-verbal communication.

Instead of writing a book, we decided to make a DVD because you can visually learn how to improve your body language. With help of Mr M, Keychain and 5.0 we also made an extra segment on physical escalation. Again, touching and physical escalation (“kino”) can be better taught by using a visual medium.

Why is body language so important?

Cajun: A lot of guys think what you say is the most important thing when it comes to attracting women. That couldn’t be further from the truth. It doesn’t matter what you say, it is how you say it. With the “how” I mean your tone of voice, facial expressions, body language, and what we call “subcommunications” and “subtext”.

In the DVD set we cover all these aspects and explain in depth why your non-verbal communication is much more important than your verbal. Scientific studies have shown that most communication between people is non-verbal. In this clip I tell why non-verbal communication is important (a sneak preview of the DVD).

Can you give one tip that someone can use right now to improve their body language?

Cajun: The simplest thing you can do today is to work on your posture. In the DVD we cover the Alexander technique on how that can improve your posture dramatically. Trained actors use this all the time.

Girls will reject you before you even approach if you have bad posture, because it subcommunicates a lot of bad things about you. This goes especially for guys who have sit behind a computer a lot.

A simple exercise you can do is to do row exercises at the gym and squats. Also, whenever you sit behind your desk, be conscious of your posture. Don’t slouch, sit tall and keep your back erect. If you buy a swiss ball and use that as your chair behind your desk, you will be forced to sit up straight and it will fix your posture that way too.

Anything else you want to share?

Cajun: I’m really excited about the Beyond Words DVD set. Finally I’ve been able to reveal all my body language and subtext secrets that I normally only teach on my workshops and 1on1 sessions. This DVD is one of a kind and you can finally learn how to properly physically escalate (“kino”) and how to use your body language so it becomes easier to meet and attract women.

For more information on Cajun and his Beyond Words DVD Home Study Course, click here.

Don’t forget to check out the other preview clips:

Vercetti on First Impressions
Vercetti on Beer Shield
5.0 on Breaking Contact