The Pick-Up Diary

There are a lot of dating myths out in the world that are false. Here’s Savoy’s Top 3 List:

1. Women want a nice guy.

You have heard and seen this plenty of times; Women saying they all want to date a nice guy, but then they all end up dating the jerk or bad boy. This paradox is as old as the Earth.

Women do want someone who can be nice to them, but also someone who can push their buttons and has strong boundaries. Nice guy lack the latter and that is why especially beautiful women don’t end up dating the nice guy. If you are one of the nice guys, try to tease girls more and fooling around with them. It sounds counterintuitive, but it works.

2. Dating should be fair.

This is a big one. It goes like this: “I shouldn’t be doing all the pursuing and all the work, dating should be fair”. If you recognize yourself, stop right now.

In the dating world, the guy has to be proactive about it. Just accept this. You can’t expect for women to approach you and seduce you. When one does, it’s most likely a pro (not a professional!).

You can also look at it differently. You have the option to pick the women you want to date. You are the one exercising the freedom of picking. Women don’t. They have to go through a lot of chumps and unfortunately sometimes they still can’t find the right guy.

3. Women hate to be approached.

There is this myth out there that says women hate to be approached. Nothing couldn’t be further from the truth. Why do you think it takes hours for women to get ready to go out at night? If friends want to have a conversation over a glass of wine, they can do that at home too.

Another popular excuse women use is so they can “dance.” Another excuse to masquerade why women really go out. The real reason women go out is to find a guy, just like you go out to find a girl. Don’t let these excuses women give fool you. The next time you see women out, keep in mind that they want to be approached and swept away. You can be that guy.

One of the reasons this myth is so established is because a lot of guys have no clue how to approach women and they do it in a terrible fashion. For example, using a pickup line does not work and it is the fastest way to get rejected. Instead, with the right fashion, body language, and the right thing to say you can start enjoying conversations with beautiful women.

P.S. Learn How to Get Your Ex Back NOW!

Ever wondered why women are attracted to ‘jerks‘ who treat them like shit?

And why nice guys don’t have the same success? After all nice guys do things like:

– turning up to a first coffee date with flowers & chocolates
– trying to be ‘friends’ with a girl they like, hoping that it can turn into something else when she sees how nice they are
– answer her calls at 3am to hear her crying about how her jerk boyfriend has cheated on her only to find out she’s back with him the next week

Here’s the reason why women don’t like such behaviour:

By constantly supplicating and acceding to everything she asks of you, you become dull, uninteresting & not a challenge. People want and need boundaries, and as such will test them; women will push you until they find yours so they know where they stand and what kind of guy you are.

If you allow her to break a boundary you consider important, for example she is mad at you for no reason and won’t give you an explanation, she will lose respect for you as she knows she can do what she wants and you will put up with it. She is also more likely to repeat this behavior as you have set the precedent that this behavior is acceptable.

Women love confidence and dominance which nice guys NEVER exude – they are too scared of doing something she won’t like and it will result in them losing the girl.

So how do you become this confident guy?

The answer has to do with having abundance. Abundance means to have options – options in your dating life. If you have options in your dating life, your attitude will shift from being needy and clingy to that one girl, to being a lot more chilled and relaxed, should you ‘lose’ her or if she bails on a date etc. This means you have to go out more. If you’re reading more than you’re going out, you won’t be meeting different women.

If you want to find out more on how to be a nice guy who has game and get girls, check out this brand-new interview series with the Love Systems instructors 5.0 and Sheriff.

P.S. The first 10 minutes are FREE!

What are some signs that you are being too nice?

-She talks about other men around you.
-She is comfortable touching you or being touched, but there’s no sexuality behind it
-She wishes her boyfriend (or more men in general) were more like you.
-She doesn’t get dressed up to see you (unless you are going out somewhere).
-She takes calls from other men around you.
-Etc.

Similarly, there are some common signs to be aware of when you are being too much of a jerk:

-She calls you an “asshole” or “mean” (without smiling). A woman can call you evil, a jerk, bad news, or a player, and still be very attracted to you. Or she can call you anything while smiling. But most women will not call you an asshole or tell you that you’re mean and actually want you.

-She’s not comfortable being alone with you.
-You’re teasing her or “negging” her and it used to get a positive response but is now getting a negative one.
With any change you make, take it to both extremes (too much and too little) and get used to where the boundaries are.

As a more advanced thought, if you’re trying to be less of the “nice guy,” try to be “selfish” rather than to be a “jerk.” When you’re a jerk, you are deliberately bringing someone else down. When you’re selfish, you are putting your own needs first. And that’s the problem for most “nice guys.” They put other peoples’ needs and wants above their own.

Be selfish only if you are getting the “nice guy” reactions from women. Cancel plans if you don’t feel like going out or something more interesting comes up. Within reason, don’t offer to pick her up, drive her home, etc. Dates should be things that you’d enjoy doing anyway – this applies whether or not you are normally too nice, and Chapter 17 (Dates) of Magic Bullets explains why. When you’re faced with a decision, ask yourself what a selfish person would do. And so on.

Another great way to manage your “nice guy” factor – either up or down – is to pick out and adapt some routines from the Love Systems’ Routines Manual. A routine is just a story or a game or a phrase or anything you can say or do in different situations for the purpose of succeeding with women. Every routine in the Love Systems’ Routines Manual is introduced with an explanation of when and how to use it, and from these descriptions you can pick out a few routines that will make you seem more nice and less nice and adapt them for your own reality. Now you can manage your own “niceness” level!

If you want to find out how to stop being a nice guy, check out the interview No More Mister Nice Guy.