The Pick-Up Diary

One of the biggest sticking points is what to say after the Opener and running out of material. The solution to this common problem is Cold Reading.

The first tool you need is a cold read routine for a group, because most sets will likely be groups of girlfriends. Start with a group cold read after your opener.

Here are some examples:

YOU: (Smiling) “You guys are awesome you’re just like the girls from Sex and the City.”

GIRLS: “Oh I love that show…”

(now use what you know about their personalities to fit them into one of the archetypes of the main characters from Sex and the City, give each girl a character)

(point to the responsible or tough one)

YOU: “You’re definitely Samantha because you’re tough and you have you’re stuff together.

(point to the one that seems the most sweet or quiet)

YOU: “You’re Carrie I can just tell because…!”

(point to the target and shake your head and say)

YOU: “And you’re Miranda! Oh, you’re definitely Miranda!”

The women will laugh and say why they are who they are or why they aren’t let them talk about it for a bit and then start your next routine.

Now it’s time to run another Cold Read to win the group over. And I want you to launch into the Best Friends Test (by Neil Strauss aka Style).

YOU: “OK, I have to ask: how long have you guys known each other for? (If you think they’re sisters ask: “Are you guys sisters or best friends?”)

GIRLS: “We’ve known each other forever (or whatever they say)”

YOU: “See, I knew that”

GIRLS: “How could you know that?”

YOU: “I’ll show you. In fact, I’ll give you the best friends test.”

GIRLS: (get all excited)

YOU: “OK… (pretend you’re just about to ask a serious question)

“Do you both use the same shampoo?”

GIRLS: (look at each other and then open their mouths to answer)

YOU: “OK, the answer doesn’t matter, you already passed.”

GIRLS: “Huh?!”

YOU: “See, if you weren’t so close to each other, you’d have kept eye contact with me as you answered. But when two people have a connection, they look at each other first, kind of like you’re doing right now.”

GIRLS: (laugh)

YOU: “See, you don’t even need to say anything to each other. It’s like you just communicate telepathically.”

At this point they should be laughing and loving your company … time to isolate your target and launch into palm reading or astrology cold reads.

P.S. Learn How to Get Your Ex Back NOW!

You know those moments after you open and you’re actually doing good but you just can’t take it to the next level? You need to build some attraction with the target but you’re just getting stuck in nice safe guy land.

What does wonders in such situatios are disqualifiers. You have to disqualify yourself from being that” next guy who wants to get in her pants”. The effect: you instantly gain value in her eyes.

Here is a list of PUA Style‘s (author of “The Game”) greatest disqualifiers:

– “Save me from her!” (said to the set about the target)

-“Nice girls like you shouldn’t hang out with guys like me.” (said directly to the target)

– Put a monetary value on yourself – You: “That’ll be $30 bucks!” Her: “For what?” You: “For holding my hand!”

– Treat her like she’s the little sister you never had. (this is just a great rule to follow)

– Tell her you have a girlfriend.

– Reverse roles and position yourself as the prize – “Stop hitting on me, I’m not just a mindless piece of meat”, “Stop taking advantage of me… I’m not that kind of guy…”

– Tell her you’ll hire her as an assistant to follow you around everywhere. And if she does well you’ll double her salary.

– Be the snob – “Yeah, whatever, not so much…”

– Be the authority figure – “You’re in trouble, you’ve got detention…”

– Exaggerate her:? “OH SORRY I couldn’t serve you better, princess…”

– Make her compete – “Excuse me, there are more interesting girls over there…”

– Challenge her – “You’re not cool enough to hang with me.” Or “I’m wayyy to young for you…”

After you disqualify look for indicators of interest (IOIs) that women give men. This will let you know that you’re building attraction. Here is a list of some of them:

– Twirls her hair

– Asks your name

– Laughs at your stupid jokes

– Hits you in a playful manner

– If you pause she will fill in the silence

– Changes opinion to match yours

– Holding eye contact

– Hold out your hand. If they reach for it then you’re in.

– If they unconsciously mirror your movements.

P.S. Learn How to Get Your Ex Back NOW!

Let me distract you for a second from this pic for a small question:

How do you improve your skills in a particular area?

By practice, by doing something – it’s obvious. If you’re learning a new language the most effective way to get better is to speak in that language a lot. The same goes for if you want to get better with girls. You have to practice a lot. You can read countless books – which will make think you know it all – but unless you go out regularly and approach women, you won’t get better!

Learning by doing is effective, but it’s even more effective when you know (exactly) what you’re doing. That means besides practice you also need some theory, some knowledge – the techniques that really work.

Now where do you get that all together?

At Walmart At a Bootcamp, exactly.

In fact, it’s the most effective way to get better. Of course, it costs money and not everyone can afford a bootcamp. But if you can and you want to get better real quick (because it can take years to get better with girls studying on your own – chances are you won’t get better at all and simply consume all the pick-up material to feel better) this is the best opportunity you will get:

On the Oct 9-11.2009, worlds best pickup artists and dating coaches will come to Las Vegas. And you can be part of it! You will get the opportunity to meet and learn from the best:

Savoy (author of Magic Bullets), Cajun (winner of Keys to the VIP), The Don (author of the Routines Manual), Soul (the world’s #1 expert in Day Game), Mr M and Braddock (creators of Social Circle Mastery), Brad P, Tenmagnet, Fader, Sheriff, David Wygant, and more.

The three days are filled with seminars, live exercises, and infield (going out to meet women with dating coaches instructing you).

More precisely, there they will have two rooms with different sessions running at the same time:

1)  a seminar room:

The seminar room is where the instructors and guest speakers will reveal their latest breakthroughs, give lectures, and talk about specific topics on dating. Past subjects have included:

.. Social Circle Mastery
.. Advanced Attraction
.. Deep Comfort
.. Inner Game
.. Relationship Management and Multiple Relationships
.. Callback Humor
.. Day Game
.. Strippers and Hired Guns
.. And lots more.

and

2) a breakout room.

In the interactive breakout room you will be able to talk to instructors and work with them on a particular part of their game. These live exercises include:

.. Approaching and Transitioning – Get your approaching skills down!
.. Teasing and Bantering – How to think on your feet and build attraction FAST!
.. Physical Escalation – Touching gets results and prevents you getting in the friendzone!
.. Body Language – Project confidence with your walk, posture, and gestures!
.. Frame Control – Steer interactions the way you want it to go!

This way, you can decide on your own what you want to do because there are always two sessions running at the same time. If you want to work with an instructor, you can go to the breakout room. If you want to listen to a lecture on a specific topic, the seminar room is where you want to be. You can tailor the whole weekend to your own level of game.

There are two packages: Silver and Gold:

The Silver level attendees will be able to attend all the live exercises and seminars during the Super Conference. The Gold level attendees will also be able to do live exercises and seminars, but will also go out two nights with infield coaching by our instructors.

The price for Silver is $947 and Gold is $3,797 (which is still cheap compared to the the astronomical price of $4,000 per person for a Mystery Method Bootcamp). For more info, take a look at this video:

Learn to Attract Women at the Love Systems Super Conference (Oct 9-11.2009)

Most men are interested in dating science because they want to get better at interacting with beautiful women. Whether your goal is to land a playboy model or to start dating that cute girl at Starbucks, you need to learn how to sexually progress.

Otherwise, you are likely to get the all too familiar “let’s just be friends”. Unfortunately, most men are afraid to act out on their sexual desires, and the result is that they never push any boundaries with women. This causes their game to plateau below their potential, leaving the best opportunities to those willing to push the limits.

If you are too afraid to leave your comfort zone while learning to meet women of quality, you will find that the quality of women you approach is always low. You must push the limits of sexual escalation before you can find the right balance. Without ever pushing too far or too fast, you will never know if you are pushing fast or far enough. When you don’t get the result you wanted with a woman, make note of it, and then you adjust your approach for next time.

A prerequisite for being able to progress with women is understanding that they enjoy sex just as much as men – they just take a different route towards sex. Here are some practical tips:

1) You Don’t Need “Big Moves”

When meeting women you should always be commanding a sexual presence. Your two best tools for this are speech and body language. To start off, try holding your initial handshake for a second longer than normal while keeping eye contact. After that, try calibrating her to see if she is receptive to your sexual overtones. When talking, keep a slow pace, measured pace, and make sure to use pauses to add effect. Have fun with this – you can even try ordering a coffee using sexual subtext.

By immediately creating a sexual presence and calibrating the situation you can quickly screen for a women’s sexual openness. That way, if she doesn’t respond you can quickly move on to something else.

2) Leave Them Better Than You Found Them

Don’t make a girl do something she doesn’t want to do – she should feel great doing even the most “dirty” things. Make her feel like she is sharing in a fun, exciting sexual adventure with you.

This also applies to setting the right frame for later on when you progress further. If there is something you want to happen down the road, make her feel good about it. Tell her “you would look so hot doing …” or “the most fun I ever had with a woman was doing…” Those sorts of statements will create positive associations with whatever sex act you are talking about.

Most women derive pleasure from pleasing someone they like. Let her know you are enjoying whatever she is doing to/for/with you. Tell her “I love the way you do that” or “you look really sexy doing that”. It is important to be supportive of a woman as you progress with her. Men that express their sexual desires without any regard for the woman are considered to be sleazy, and you don’t want to fall into that group. This sort of disregard for women is also a good way of guaranteeing there will be no repeat performances.

3) Creating the Right State of Mind

To successfully progress with a woman, you must demonstrate to her that you want her, but that you do not need her. This is another example of the importance of finding the right balance. If you pretend you are not interested whatsoever, she will move on to someone else, or just peg you as a friend. However, if you act needy towards her, she will be turned off. Beautiful women like a little bit of a challenge. That is where wanting comes in – make it clear that while you are interested in her sexually, you live in a state of abundance, and will meet your needs somewhere else if she doesn’t respond to you. Basically, you must always be willing to walk away.

Finally, I know I’ve written about this before, but it is essential to remember that this is all a part of one great learning process. There is no such thing as rejection – only feedback. As you start to push the limits of sexual escalation, keep track of how women are reacting. Be confident, have fun with it, and keep escalating faster and further until you have to bring things down a notch – that is when you know you are starting to approach the right balance in your game.

To find out more information on turning an interaction more sexual, check out this audio download by Love Systems. The first 10 minutes are FREE.

If you want to take a girl home, there are certain things you have to be aware of. Here are four tips for closing at her place:

1) Find out where she lives.

This step seems obvious, but you’d be surprised how often it is unintentionally left out. When you know where a woman lives, you can plan ahead to deal with the logistical problems you’re going to hit later.
Does she live near the venue? Does she have a roommate? Is she in a dorm? Do you know of a cool bar/after hours joint near her place? When you want to bounce her back there, are you going to drive, walk, or take a cab? Even if you end up with a phone number + date instead of going home with her, this info will be useful for when you go out again.

A few scenarios to consider and how to deal with them:

– Roommates: When there is a separate bedroom to retreat to, sacrificing a few minutes of conversation to win over the roommate(s) will make your being there a lot more comfortable. After they trust you, you can use any nonsense reason to bounce your girl to her bedroom. “Bet my room is cleaner than yours,” is one example.

– Cab ride: If she lives a cab ride away, be sure to keep up the momentum in the car, and continue to build up physical intimacy. If you were touching her arm in the bar, touch her leg in the cab. If you were about to make out in the bar, make out in the cab. Avoid cabs with bucket seats that make physical contact impossible.
– Dorm: If there’s a security guard, you can go through the lengthy (and vibe-killing) process of giving him your ID and signing in, or you can tell the girl to slide her card through and sneak in behind her. You get points for being resourceful, and it’s exciting because it seems like you’re doing something wrong.

– Shared bedroom: There are public bathrooms in dorms and hotels that I have found very accommodating when dealing with shared room situations. Be sure and scan for them when entering, and when it’s time to bounce to it, tell the girl that you’re “taking her on a field trip.”

2) Amp up the physical tension.

If you can get a girl sexually excited, then she’s going to want to bring you to a place where you can have sex as quickly as humanly possible. Here are a few quick pointers to get you started:
– Always end a touch or kiss before they do/want you to.
– Drop the topic of sex into conversation (in a light, joking way) as quickly as possible.
– Start touching the way you’d touch your boss and build to the way you’d touch a girlfriend.

3) “Let’s get you home.”

It’s easy to think of reasons to give a woman why she has to come back to your place. Keep it simple. “Let me show you that book I was talking about,” is perfect. It gives her plausible deniability and doesn’t tip your hand.

It’s harder to do this with her place. “Do you want to take me home with you?” makes you sound like a stray dog, not a man. “Let’s go to your place” is totally cliché thanks to every movie from the 1970s. “Let’s get out of here” is great if it’s obvious and explicit that she wants to have sex, but if you’re still flying a bit under the radar or her friends are around, you’re going to need something a little more subtle.
Instead, take the lead with “let’s get you home.” It’s a little dominant, it shows you know how to lead, but it also doesn’t trigger state breaks. If her friends are around, it implies that you are just going to make sure that she gets home safe. She shouldn’t feel any pressure since there’s really nothing implied. And if nothing’s going to happen, then there’s no reason she can’t bail on her friends, right?

(If you don’t remember state breaks, review Chapter 10 of Magic Bullets now. If you haven’t read Magic Bullets, get it. It’s the official Love Systems guide to meeting and attracting women, and where most successful guys start.)

4) Assume you’re going upstairs.

There’s nothing more awkward than walking a woman home and standing there silent for an eternity waiting for her to invite you up. Avoid this situation by assuming that she’ll be bringing you upstairs. Do not pause by the door. Do not say “Well, it was nice hanging out with you.” Keep the momentum of the interaction going as though you are still in the process of hanging out. If she has to invite you in, that’s risking a state break. Of course, there will be times when she suggests that you don’t come up, either because she doesn’t want to appear easy, or because she thinks letting you upstairs is an implicit agreement that you’ll be sleeping together. You can usually defuse this by giving yourself a bedtime. “I’ve got work in the morning, so I can only come up for a little bit” is one of my favorites. Say this before she even gets a chance to tell you why you can’t come in – like you coming in is a foregone conclusion.

To find out more information on closing at the girl’s place or getting a girl from the venue back to your place, check out the Love Systems interview series on Logistics. You can listen to the first 10 minutes for FREE!

Pick-Up instructor Sheriff has a special technique to identify sticking points. He suggests to take a piece of paper and write “I see a hot girl” at the top of it. At the bottom you have to write: “we start having sex”.

Your goal now is to fill in a plausible and detailed explanation of how you got from seeing this chick to sleeping with her. Whenever you get to a point where you’re not sure what to write, you’ve found a sticking point. The idea here is to know the plausible next step. So, here are the key points:

– Write personal, detailed, and fictional descriptions of how you went from seeing a girl to sleeping with her to help you get the process straight in your head, and identify your weak points

– Ask for advice any time you find yourself having trouble writing plausible dialogue or action sequences

– The point isn’t to prescript the interaction, the point is to identify your sticking points in getting from A to B – it won’t ever go down the way you planned anyway

– Don’t accept wishy-washy advice that doesn’t come with plausible detailed examples

To find out more on overcoming sticking points, check out the interview series on sticking points. You can listen to the first 10 minutes for FREE!

What are some signs that you are being too nice?

-She talks about other men around you.
-She is comfortable touching you or being touched, but there’s no sexuality behind it
-She wishes her boyfriend (or more men in general) were more like you.
-She doesn’t get dressed up to see you (unless you are going out somewhere).
-She takes calls from other men around you.
-Etc.

Similarly, there are some common signs to be aware of when you are being too much of a jerk:

-She calls you an “asshole” or “mean” (without smiling). A woman can call you evil, a jerk, bad news, or a player, and still be very attracted to you. Or she can call you anything while smiling. But most women will not call you an asshole or tell you that you’re mean and actually want you.

-She’s not comfortable being alone with you.
-You’re teasing her or “negging” her and it used to get a positive response but is now getting a negative one.
With any change you make, take it to both extremes (too much and too little) and get used to where the boundaries are.

As a more advanced thought, if you’re trying to be less of the “nice guy,” try to be “selfish” rather than to be a “jerk.” When you’re a jerk, you are deliberately bringing someone else down. When you’re selfish, you are putting your own needs first. And that’s the problem for most “nice guys.” They put other peoples’ needs and wants above their own.

Be selfish only if you are getting the “nice guy” reactions from women. Cancel plans if you don’t feel like going out or something more interesting comes up. Within reason, don’t offer to pick her up, drive her home, etc. Dates should be things that you’d enjoy doing anyway – this applies whether or not you are normally too nice, and Chapter 17 (Dates) of Magic Bullets explains why. When you’re faced with a decision, ask yourself what a selfish person would do. And so on.

Another great way to manage your “nice guy” factor – either up or down – is to pick out and adapt some routines from the Love Systems’ Routines Manual. A routine is just a story or a game or a phrase or anything you can say or do in different situations for the purpose of succeeding with women. Every routine in the Love Systems’ Routines Manual is introduced with an explanation of when and how to use it, and from these descriptions you can pick out a few routines that will make you seem more nice and less nice and adapt them for your own reality. Now you can manage your own “niceness” level!

If you want to find out how to stop being a nice guy, check out the interview No More Mister Nice Guy.

One common weakness in a guy’s game is passing tests women give them. Those “tests” are questions that girls will throw at you to see if you walk the walk as well as talk the talk. The reason girls do this is because a lot of guys can be confident on the approach and play a good poker face the whole way through the interaction, but later down the line the cracks start to show and the confident guy she thought he was is actually not that guy at all.

So girls throw these tests at us to separate the men from the boys, and a lot of the time the girl doesn’t even know she’s doing it. In summary, a shit test is a way of the girl finding out whether we are the real deal or just another hopeful trying to get into her pants. In other words, it’s a way to select the right guy.

A lot of the time when a girl is throwing out these tests is because she’s had a lot of guys hit on her that day/night/week/month/year/lifetime and has had enough of wasting her time on giving 10 minutes to everyone of the 95% of guys who haven’t got a chance. Imagine you had 20 fat chicks a day coming up and hitting on you, you’ll be nice to the first 2 or 3, then you’d probably start asking abrupt questions to filter out the ones that are actually cool enough to talk to.

Some examples of tests a girl might throw at you are:

-Why are you talking to me?
-Are you gay?
-Buy me a drink
-Who are you, do I know you?
-Is that your best pick-up line?

The 95% of guys that she’s filtering out will respond with things like:

Her: Why are you talking to me?
Guy: Oh well uh, I just thought you were really hot so wanted to say hi but I can go if you want

or

Her: Are you gay?
Guy: No I’m not gay why do you think that?

or

Her: Buy me a drink
Guy: Ok what do you want?

You probably can see why girls want to filter these guys out.

How to Pass a Test:

The best way to pass a test is to playfully ‘Agree & Exaggerate’ with what she says. For example:

Her: Are you gay?
You: I’m not gay but my boyfriend is

or

Her: Are you gay?
You: Well I don’t make eye contact when I give head, and as long as you don’t make eye contact it doesn’t count

Her: Buy me a drink
You: I’ll buy you a thousand drinks but you buy me one first

Her: Why are you talking to me?
You: I forgot there was a no talking policy at this club (while at a bar or nightclub)

or

Her: Why are you talking to me?
You: I told mum I was going to (bar or club you’re at) tonight to hopefully get married

Her: Is that a pick-up line?
(If she does say that the question/thing you said is probably too ‘gamey’, make sure you don’t come across with that weird community guy vibe or you’ll get called out a lot)
You: Yeah, now your turn

or

Her: Is that a pick-up line?
You: No, (take some ice out of your drink, drop it on the floor and step on it) now that I’ve broken the ice what’s your name?…That’s a pick up line.

Make sure that you’re coming across playfully, so smile to make it clear you’re not being serious after. Otherwise saying ‘I’m not gay but my boyfriend is’ or ‘I told mum I was going to (bar or club you’re at) tonight to hopefully get married’ in a serious tone and not smiling, it could work, but if you don’t play it off right you will be put in the weird guy box.

The way agreeing and exaggerating works is it is basically being sarcastic, so you’re making her comment sound stupid and turn it back on her being the one saying the weird things. Then you just transition on to something new, so if it’s off the bat and she throws a test I’ll agree & exaggerate, then (as long as she responds well which she should do if you do it right) transition with ‘so what’s your name’ or ‘what’s the occasion’ for example. As long as you’re doing it right you’ll see the attraction shoot up after you put it back on her.

Remember – ‘Agree & Exaggerate’ and make sure you play it off right, then transition and tests will no longer be an issue!

To learn more on how to handle the different tests women give you (even when you’re in a relationship) check out the audio download on the Love Systems Website. You can listen to the first ten minutes for FREE!

Typical scenario: You meet a girl, take her home, heat things up and …Suddenly she says “I can’t do this” or “I gotta go home now”. In the pick-up community, this phenomenon is called Last Minute Resistance (LMR).

But why does Last Minute Resistance happen?

If you want so, women are “designed” to figure out, wheather you will – to quote Mystery – “stick around after sex” or not (from the evolutionary standpoint it’s important for her, because she needs you to raise her childs).  If all you showed her the whole evening was “I want sex”, it probably will be difficult for you to get it – unless she has already made up her mind to have sex this night.

So how do you avoid last minute resistance?

First of all, you need to show her that sex isn’t the only thing you are after. You have to build comfort in first place. On the other hand, there are countless guys who are so afraid to even touch that topic and the girl (kino) that the “Friends-Zone” is unavoidable. Or they save those things until they are alone with the girl – and that’s how last minute resistance is generated. So, you have to mix those things up.

Time is also a huge factor – you need to spend some hours with her so that she can begin to trust you and will be “ready” for sex (Mystery speaks of 7 hours, but in my opinion it depends on the quality of this time, in others worlds the activities that you do together in this are much important than the time itself. You could sit around for hours in a cafe or you could go to different places and do exiting activities).

By the way, there is a new Interview Series (on Last Minutes Resistance on the Love Systems Website and the first 10 minutes are free. Check it out here.

The Lineup of Pickup Artists that will teach you how to get beautiful women in your life at the Love Systems Super Conference in Las Vegas (October 9-11.2009) is finally revealed. Here’s the complete schedule (the names of the instructors in parentheses):

The Top 10 Myths of Pickup (Savoy) – There are a lot of myths and bad pieces of advice out in the dating world. The author of Magic Bullets will dispel all myths and tell you the TRUTH on what works and what doesn’t work.

High-End Club Game (5.0) – Attracting a “10” at a VIP club is different from dating the girl next door. 5.0, who has trained rock stars to pick up women, reveals the secrets for these loud and target-rich places to pick up the most sought after women in the club.

Banishing Approach Anxiety Forever (Fader) – How different would your life be if you could confidently approach any woman, anywhere? Your success with women will skyrocket once you have no approach anxiety.

Advanced Social Dynamics (Mr. M) – From the co-creator of the widely-hailed Social Circle Mastery (also offered at the Super Conference). Topics include: qualification and the social hierarchy, getting attraction in group situations, generating massive social proof, and more.

Use Frames, Framing, and Reframing Tonight (Sheriff) – One of the top 5 most powerful techniques to attract beautiful women – and the most misunderstood. Learn the secret frame control and framing techniques from one of the senior dating coaches!

Boundaries and Disqualification (Braddock) – We’re going to be going out to VIP clubs in Vegas, so we want you armed to the teeth with attraction techniques that will get through to “10s.” Braddock will teach you getting women chasing you with advanced push/pull and disqualification.

Qualification Demystified (Future) – very few men understand what qualification really is and how to implement it in the field. It is essential for building comfort and rapport so make sure you know to make yourself a source of validation to women.

Physical Escalation (“kino”) (Soul) – Touching is one the most common problems guys have when learning meeting and picking up women. Learn from the voted #1 Super Conference instructor of last year.

Body Language (Cajun) – Body Language is one of those things everyone agrees is important, but no one gets specific about it. We do. The little things add up and matter – a lot.

Turning Phone Numbers into Dates (Tenmagnet) – Do you get a lot of flaky numbers and you can’t turn these numbers into dates? Learn from Tenmagnet, featured in The Game, on turning dead phone numbers into dates.

Cajun’s Question Game Routine (Cajun) – The winner of Keys to the VIP shares this top-secret routine. If you can get to Comfort, you can close with this. A student of last year’s Super Conference learned Cajun’s routine and slept with a girl he met on the plane on his way home by using the routine. You can get the same success!

Rapid Sexual Escalation (Keychain) – You hear the stories of pulling hot girls into the bathroom, or immediate makeouts, or taking her home soon after meeting her. Or you’ve seen Love Systems instructors do it. Now for the first time, we show you how.

Book your tickets fast! Seats are filling up fast and there is limited capacity. Click here to reserve your seat now!