The Pick-Up Diary

Most men believe all it takes is money or good looks to attract women. You see it all the times in Hollywood movies where the rich guy is walking into restaurants with a gorgeous woman besides him. Other times when you’re walking down the street you see a male model walking with a stunner. All these images reinforce the belief that you need money or good looks to get women.

There is a little bit of truth in there. Having wealth will make it easier for you to attract women and so does good looks. But having those traits alone is by far not enough. These will get your foot in the door, but you will still need to display your attractive personality and have good conversational skills. No woman wants to be with a quiet millionaire or male model who can’t have conversations with her or who can’t turn her on. Luckily for you, even if you are not good looking or wealthy, you can still date these types of women if you know the right things to do.

There are certain traits women want in a guy. Knowing these traits will equal the playing for average men like you and me.

For example, there are some attraction switches. These are traits that every woman finds attractive in men. If you can display these traits (or turn on those “switches”) any woman will get attracted to you. Wealth is one of attraction switches and so is health (which is “mother” of good looks) but there are six more (you will be surprised what some of the other ones are).

You are fortunate that you are a guy, because the way attraction works for women is different than for men (as further explained in the book). Guys assume women think just like them so they assume the way attraction works is also the same. This can’t be further from the truth. For men is mostly defined by a woman’s looks. We want young, slim, and healthy looking women. Women view attraction very differently. Looks still matter, but what matter more is the social status of the man.

Here is an insight to female psychology: women want to be desired by powerful men. That is the biggest turn on for women. Now that does not mean that power equals wealth. She will get attracted to you if she perceives you as more powerful than she is. By having surmounts of wealth is just one way to do that. Another way to display that is by being more mature & experienced than her (why do you think most women date guys older than them) or you have a higher position within society than her (e.g. you are a lawyer versus she is a hair dresser).

Everyone has attractive personality traits, but you have to know how to precisely convey those to women. Bragging is a big turn off for women. Even if you have millions of dollars you still cannot get the girl if you brag about it. So what if you aren’t a millionaire? You can still get the girls knowing what the attraction switches are. Why do you think women fall head over heels over BROKE musicians?

P.S. This “Mind Hack” Makes Hot Girls Want You

ABC’s Nightline show infiltrated Love Systems’ annual Super Conference to see if the dating tips and techniques actually work. There is cutting edge hidden footage of dating coaches picking up women and breaking down how it all happened. Plus how you can do it yourself.

Here’s the link for the video:

Love Systems Conference

Unfortunately the TV crew escorted out of the seminar room at one point, but because the attendees were about to see how one of the coaches took a girl home in under 5 minutes and broke it down how he did it. All the teachings of the company are based on the founder’s book called Magic Bullets. Grab your copy here.

Improving your dating life can be tough, especially when women reject you on the approach. It’s part of the game. If you are getting striked out after the approach you might be doing something wrong that turns women off. It can be a lot of different things and you might be even unaware of the mistakes you are making. Here are 5 things to watch for that turn women off (and you want to avoid).

1. Pickup Lines

Let’s get one thing clear before you even approach: pickup lines do not work. Whenever you approach a woman with a (cheesy) pickup line, she will shoot you down. By using a pickup line, what you are actually saying to her is that you are someone who doesn’t have any social intuition and you are someone who does not date women like her. Communicating those things automatically raises a red flag in her mind that you are not suitable for her to date you.

It’s even better to just say “Hi I’m Ben. What’s your name?” and go from there. Avoid pickup lines.

On the other hand, there are good conversation starters (or “openers” as some people call them). The goal of a conversation starter is to start a conversation; nothing more, nothing less. Once you have initiated the conversation, you need to engage her into an interesting conversation to build attraction and go from there.

2. Awkwardness

This one is easy: awkwardness. Women avoid awkwardness like men avoid grenades in their vicinity. It’s that bad. Common things that cause awkwardness include: long pauses in conversation and acting goofy in public with her. Awkwardness is one of the kryptonites of attraction. Awkwardness will kill any attraction she might feel for you so avoid it at all costs.

3. Boring

Women love interesting men and excitement. Being boring is on the opposite side of that spectrum and no woman wants to be around a boring guy. The task is simple; avoid being boring. If you can do that, you are already way ahead of most guys.

One common mistake is asking multiple questions in a row. Do not ask multiple questions in a row. That’s a job interview. Keep the conversation “light.” Do not discuss the existence of god or which political affiliation you’re part of. In simple terms: less logic, more emotions. Try to tease her like you would to your little sister or niece, tell some jokes, and share stories.

4. Neediness

Neediness is solely doing something for someone else to get affection or love in return. Being needy shows you have no options when it comes to women. It is conveyed mostly through your actions, but also through your words. Examples of being needy:

-calling or texting multiple times a day

-you are too available

-you try to please her all the time (at your own expense)

Here’s a key insight to female psychology: women like men who are desired by other women. It’s like a shortcut for them to filter out men. If other women like him, there must be something good about him she is not aware of. Showing neediness is the exactly the opposite and will kill any attraction (another one of those kryptonites).

5. Bragging

Bragging about yourself is like screaming “look how insecure I am and I’m trying to impress you.” A rich man doesn’t talk about how rich he is and Hugh Hefner does not talk about many blonds he has slept with. Subtlety is the key to showing off the cool things about you. The more subtle you are about the attractive things of you, the better it comes across to women. They are very good at filling in the blanks and recognizing subtle elements in your stories, outfits, and possessions.

For example, instead of saying “A couple weeks ago I had a girl, who is really beautiful and a model, come over and have diner with me. She made the best pasta ever and it was delicious” you want to be more subtle. A simpler and more subtle version is, “A friend of mine came over to cook for pasta for me and it was the best pasta I have ever had.” The latter is very subtle and conveying that you have other women in your life. Do guys generally come over and cook? No, women do. Women will understand that a woman was there for you to cook. The context is unknown, but she can fill in the blanks that is was possibly a date or maybe even your ex-girlfriend. Who knows, but you conveyed the same info in a shorter and more subtle way.

Avoid all those turn offs and your dating life will be changed up-side down. Sometimes dating does not have to be that difficult when you know what to do AND what not to do. In the book Magic Bullets you will find more details what turns women off, but more importantly what turns them on. Click here to find out more about it.

Attractive women on a daily basis have dozens of men come up to them and validate their beauty with compliments and sometimes gifts. It gets so that women find this boring or

even annoying.

Some women even develop tactics that help them weed through this multitude of boring nice guys just attracted to them for their looks. I mean I can’t blame them because I could

see how all those AFCs would get super boring.

The women get tough and test guys with attitude. In a manner of speaking this is the female way of Disqualifying and Qualifying men. They play the GAME too.

Disqualifying a woman allows you to show her that you aren’t like all the other guys who are just attracted to her for her looks. It lets her work for your attraction. It sets you up as a

PUA to allow her to display something more about herself for you to be attracted to other than her looks.

So now that you understand the concept let’s look at some methods to DQ:

1. Ignoring the target and spending more time speaking to her friends is a good way to start.

2. Disagreeing with a woman’s opinion on an item to show her you won’t cave your ideals to hers just because she’s attractive.

3. Teasing a woman with a playful joke like saying “You don’t get out much do you?” Remember always smile when you tease. Sometimes these types of DQs are called “pebbles.”

4. Letting a woman know that their is something about her that prohibits you from dating her. Such as “You’re a Scorpio? I never date Scorpios…dram, drama, drama.” Remember to

smile.

5. Or simply implying that you are spoken for: “My girlfriend would like your dress.”

When you use a DQ be sure to not wait for your target to react. It’s important that she perceives it as something you just casually say and didn’t over-think or plan out.

If the DQ is more of a tease that could come off as an insult you should always smile. Smiling allows the target to know that you are not fully serious. You’re just flirting…that’s what the smile says.

The 10 Best Disqualifiers (DQs):

1. “You should go back to your friends. I think the kids at the nerd table really miss you.”

2. “I bet you were the type of kid that always got spaghetti sauce all over your face.”

3. “Note to self: Do not date this girl.” (pretend to take a note on your hand)

4. “I bet there are tons of guys waiting to meet you on the Internet.”

5. “I don’t let women like you into my house without a background check first.”

6. “You are so bad at being pretty.”

7. “Check this girl out. She’s amazing, and so bright and funny. Would you believe she’s never had a date?”

8. “Yeah, you’re like the coolest girl I’ve met in this location in the last 2 minutes.”

9. “You are such a dork, it’s really adorable.”

10. “You’re such a nice girl. I really shouldn’t even be talking to you.”

Meeting women in daytime environments is a great alternative for bar and club environments. You strike up a conversation with a girl in a book store, talk for a few minutes, and you leave with a phone number. It really can be that easy. However, there is one mistake that a lot of guys make when they want to try to meet women using “day game.”

One common mistake guys make when it comes meeting and attracting women in daytime environments is that their goal is to get as many phone numbers as possible. While the majority of time you will leave with a phone number, your mindset and goals should not be to collect a bunch of phone numbers. Those are in itself are not worth much. Can you sleep with a phone number? No! The phone number is merely a logistical tool to communicate with a woman. Nothing more.

Also, women give out their phone number a lot. Sometimes even out of politeness knowing that they will never go out the guy. Other times to blow off the guy in a nice way (with a fake number).

Instead, what you want to have is commitments from women to go out on a date with you. As a result of her committing to see you again, you get her phone number. When you are interacting with a woman (from a cold approach), you want to make plans with her right then and there. Think of setting up the date as the “transaction” and the receipt of it is the phone number.

If a woman is not even willing to commit to see you again, you will know two things right away: she is not attracted to you enough and if you do get her phone number she will not go out with you anyway. The opposite is also true. If she is committed to see you again, you know for sure that she is attracted to you and she wants to see you again.

Now that you understand why getting women committed to see you again is important, here is a simple illustration how to use it. As you are hitting it off with a woman, what you want to do figure out is when she is available to go out with you, e.g. for drinks (make sure it is casual). Pick the day she is free to meet up again and then get her phone number. Below is an example:

Guy: So Jennifer, what are your plans the next couple days?

Girl: I have some plans with friends on Wednesday and Friday, not so sure about Thursday.

Guy: Great, let’s meet up for drinks on Thursday night. I know a great place where they serve really good wine. How do you feel about that?

Girl: Yes, sounds like fun.

Guy: Let me get your phone number and I’ll let you know about the time and place.

Girl: Ok my number is …….

It really is that simple. If you get a lot of flakey phone numbers (meaning you’re trying to meet up with a girl through texts and phone calls, but she doesn’t want to), one of the best ways to fix this problem is by first having women committing to see you again before you get her phone number. Try it and see how you many more dates you will be getting.

If you are interested in meeting women outside bars and clubs, you should definitely check out the book called Daytime Dating by Jeremy Soul. The book is about how to properly meet and attract women in daytime environments and this is one of the techniques discussed in the book. There are more step-by-step tips and techniques for picking up women in daytime environments. Check it out here.

Most guys think you can only meet women in bars and clubs. That can’t be further from the truth. Just think back how many gorgeous women you’ve seen shopping. The great thing is that meeting women in the daytime is a great alternative. Here are 4 reasons why you should start meeting women in coffee shops, malls, colleges, and shopping streets.

1. You don’t enjoy going to bars or clubs.

A lot of guys don’t like going to bars and clubs. Going out at night can be expensive with cover and buying drinks (especially if you buy lots of drinks and you have that dreaded hangover the next day). Let’s not forget that you smell like smoke and sweat the next morning. The good thing is that women aren’t only found in bars and clubs. If you don’t like meeting women at night (or your schedule doesn’t permit you), you will love daytime dating. You can meet tons of women in the daytime. Just think of all the women you can meet in busy malls and coffee shops.

2. Most women are by themselves.

Don’t you just hate it when you get cockblocked? Well guess what. You won’t have that problem in the daytime. At night women are found in big groups. Oftentimes with men around them too that might intimidate you. However, most women are found alone during the day. She might be running some errands or she is on her way to get an appointment. This makes it much easier to get to know the woman when she is by herself and you won’t have to worry about her friends interrupting you.

3. You meet more quality girls.

Let’s face it. Do you really want that crazy party girl as your girlfriend? You will meet more quality girls in the daytime than you do at night. They are too busy doing useful things than getting drunk at night. You won’t find quality girls partying on a Wednesday night at 1.30am. A beautiful woman reading a book on Roman history is a better catch, isn’t she? You will find those quality women shopping in malls, libraries, and coffee shops just to name a few places. In fact, a lot of these quality girls will refuse to meet guys at bars or clubs. So if you don’t meet those girls in the daytime, you’re missing out on a lot of quality women.

4. Wider range of times and places to meet women.

The night time only gives you limited number of options on types of places you can meet women: bar, lounge, and nightclub. During the day you can go to many more places: coffee shops, libraries, college campuses, shopping streets, malls, and grocery stores. There more places where on one-off times you can meet women like theme parks, festivals, and that one time you run into a woman somewhere and you don’t what to do. Another great thing of daytime dating is that you don’t have to wait till nighttime comes around. You can start meeting women as soon as you wake up getting your coffee at the coffee shop.

If you want to find out more on how to meet, attract, and seduce women in daytime environment, you should check out “Daytime Dating” by day-game expert Jeremy Soul of Love Systems. He is recognized as the #1 day game expert and he has codified his system for getting girls in coffee shops, malls, streets, and more. His brand-new book on day-game called “Daytime Dating” is going to be released tomorrow. By now you can read 20 pages for FREE!

In order to make a woman feel attracted to you, you have to flip some switches – sooner or later. Here are the main ones:

1. You must show her that you’re safe. Trust is an important issue for most women. This must be demonstrated. So switch #1: SAFETY and TRUST.

2. You must show her that you have either job, security, motivation, or ambition. In other
words, you must have a life and goals. So switch #2 is demonstrating to her that you have STABILITY and AMBITION. You don’t have to be successful, you just have to show the potential to be successful.

3. You must show her that you’re different than the other guys, that you are not generic or boring, that she can learn something from you or grow with you, that you have a sense of adventure or creativity or spirituality. So switch #3 is showing her that you have something to offer, even if you don’t give it to her in the moment. This is where DHVs (demonstrations of higher value) are useful.

4. You must be the prize of the room. She wants a guy others will envy her for, that she can brag about to her friends.This is where social proof comes in, where story-telling comes in. It’s also where alpha qualities come in, and not supplicating. So switch #4 is demonstrating all of the many qualities of: CONFIDENCE, LEADERSHIP, AUTHORITY, and POPULARITY.

5. It’s a big world and we all feel alone in it, so if you can demonstrate that you UNDERSTAND her and where she comes from, she will feel chemistry. This can largely be done through demonstrating either cultural, mental, emotional, world view, humor, or life/background commonalities. The more obscure and rare a trait that you connect
on, the more chemistry you create. So Switch #5 is demonstrating COMMONALITIES in order to trigger CHEMISTRY.

6. You need an aura of depth and mystery. You must maybe show a vulnerable or wounded side of yourself, you must not give away everything for free, you must be a puzzle she wants to figure out and maybe even have a wound she can heal. Switch #6 then is hooking her with your DEPTH and MYSTERY.

7. You must show her that you are NOT horny, but sexual. This is where social proof comes in too, also demonstrating an understanding of her world (liking her for who SHE is). So switch #7 is demonstrating your own LACK OF DESPERATION while showing her that you recognize something SPECIAL in her that attracts you to her. This is where QUALIFYING is useful, in other words demonstrating that you like her for who she is.

What is opening?

Essentially, it’s the first 3-90 seconds of an interaction with a woman, whereby you begin a conversation. With opening, there is good news and bad news. The bad news is that opening can be very scary. Men are biologically predisposed to be incredibly nervous when starting a conversation with a woman that we don’t know. There are good evolutionary-biological reasons for this (in prehistoric times, approaching an unknown woman without permission or an introduction could lead to violent retaliation from her extended family), but that’s probably not a lot of comfort. So, that nervous feeling you get and the little voices that pop into your head looking for excuses NOT to talk to that beautiful woman are NORMAL. You need to learn to suppress them, but they are normal, and everyone – even pickup gurus like Mystery and Style – have them.

Some more bad news. We not only need to open, suppressing our built-in emotions, but we need to open well. Opening poorly can doom the rest of your interaction with a woman, and any other women who see it, making everything else you do a waste of time.

What’s the good news? With practice, it’s fairly easy. Most experienced guys don’t even need to think about opening anymore.

The following tips will help get you started:

1. Have a canned opener ready – This is NOT a night at the improv. Going “situational” (e.g., “it sure is crowded here” or “that’s a nice purse”) will rarely work. Think about it. If a 22 year old woman has been going out 1 night per week since she was 18, and got approached 5 times in a night (and these numbers are major underestimations) she has been approached 1,000 times before you came along. Most of those 1,000 guys have tried something boring and situational. Use a canned opener – something that has been repeatedly tested with women and is proven to work. If you don’t have even one opener, I’d suggest Magic Bullets or the Love Systems Routines Manual. If you don’t have these invaluable texts, do yourself a favor and spend the money to get them and have your openers ready before you even go to the club, coffee shop, lounge, etc.

2. 3-2-1-GO! – When you see a girl you like: GO! Open her group immediately. Failure to do this will “stale you out.” Women like confidence. They don’t like to be stalked. They like spontaneity. Wandering around circling her, looking at her, trying to figure out what to do next will turn her off and creep her out. Get into the habit of seeing a group of people, and GOING IN. You’ve already got your opener ready, right?

3. Approach at an angle – Do not walk straight up to the group. Approach at an angle, tilt your head over your shoulders, and say your piece. Done correctly (and you almost need to see it to do it properly), you raise your value significantly by demonstrating that you do not need their attention or approval.

4. Smile on the approach – Don’t grin like a moron through the entire interaction, but smile as you walk to the set, and in the first few seconds of the opener. Smile with your eyes, not just your mouth. It may sound silly, but smiles can (and should) be practiced in front of a mirror.

5. Be loud enough – Everyone in the group should hear your opener. Your opener should be loud enough that it cuts across whatever conversations they are already having. Don’t shout, but make it socially awkward for them not to pay attention to your opener. Practice opening – loudly – from your chest, not your throat. If you put your hand on your chest, you should be able to talk in two ways: one in which you can feel the vibrations on your hand, and one where you can’t. Train yourself to speak in the way where you can feel the vibrations.

6. Don’t lean in – This is connected to being loud enough. You should project your voice enough that they can hear you from a normal standing position (or leaning slightly back).

7. Engage the group – Do NOT go into a group and talk to the woman you want to meet (the target). Engage the whole group. Pay LESS attention to the woman you are interested in.

8. Playfully tease the target – Teasing is a major tool for triggering attraction. The hotter the girl, the quicker you have to tease. It demonstrates higher social value, and women are attracted to men that they perceive as having higher social status than they perceive themselves to have. I’ve seen some of our instructors open with teasing, and many will begin teasing the target within the first 10 seconds of their openers.

Another crucial element of opening is ending it. The opener should be something short, to grab the group’s attention, and be emotionally neutral. As soon as you spot an opportunity, you should transition into get the girl attracted.

All these tips and techniques are covered in depth in Magic Bullets, which is considered the bible of seduction. Much more is covered in the book like how to attract women and how to figure out when the best time is to kiss a girl.

We can verbally tell someone that we are attracted to the other person, but a majority of the time it is being told through our body language. That is also the most reliable way of telling if a woman is attracted to you. Words can be deceived, but the body never lies (that’s why we have lie detector tests).

Not every girl will exhibit the same body language signs to show that she is attracted to you, but here are 3 body language signs to look out for. If you see her doing any of these, you can tell that she is attracted to you.

1. Hair touching
This is a classic. It has evolutionary merits, but all you need to know is that if she is playing with her hair while you’re talking to her, she is attracted to you.

2. Interlocking Fingers
Whenever you hold a woman’s hand, is she interlacing her fingers with yours or not? Or if you give her a high five and you hold your hand up, does she interlace her fingers with yours? These are simple physical tests you can do to test if she is attracted to you. If she interlocks her fingers with yours, she is definitely attracted.

3. Licking Her Lips
How do you know when a woman is ready to be kissed? Pay close attention to a her lips. Women will lick their lips, apply lipstick, or slightly pout their lips when they are ready to be kissed. These are subconscious invitations for you to make a move!

Reading body language the right way is really important when it comes to attracting women. Read them wrong and she will reject you. Read them correctly and your dating life will be turned upside down.

What is subtext?

For acting, subtext is the underlying meaning behind spoken words as interpreted by an actor. What does that mean? Basically you’re adding additional meaning to your spoken words by the way you say them. Let’s say you have the following (cheesy) script for a scene to act in:

John and Mary are alone in the bedroom. Mary is upset and John is comforting her.

“John: Mary, everything is going to be ok, I just want you to know that I love you.”

Now you’re  going to play John in this scene there is a lot of information you’re going to need in order to apply the proper subtext to your dialogue. Things like:

What is the relationship between John and Mary?
If they are siblings then the line would be spoken much differently than if they were lovers.

– What happened just before?
– What if this scene took place right after they had sex?
– How would you reflect that in the above line of dialogue?

This is all information that can be implied with the proper subtext.

So, what does this have to do with game? Everything!

Because – and you probably have heard this a lot – it doesn’t matter WHAT you say, it’s HOW you say it. Women are MASTERS at subtext, they know that there is loads of information hidden in the way something is said. That’s why women can get so bitchy over seemingly trivial things that guys say; they know what were thinking!

So how do you use subtext effectively? Let’s have an example:

Let’s say you’re in a venue gaming and you see a great set. Now in any given set at the venue, realistically, the subtext of the dialogue you exchange with them is going to be “I’m trying to win you over and make you like me.” A lot of guys subconsciously use this subtext when they open and are often blown out. Why? Because the women read into your subtext and knew exactly what you were doing, this is why you will hear “Is that a line?” often, even if she hadn’t heard it before.

A better way to approach is to use the subtext of your opener. This is how most successful PUAs operate. For instance, Cajun’s opener involves him asking girls if he looks like a drug dealer, so the subtext is simply that it’s bothering his that he look like a drug dealer and he needs their opinion. When he says the opener he puts himself in the mind frame that it JUST happened to him so that his subtext is believable.

Cajun holds the view that the best way to approach is to look at the venue as a stage and look at each set as a scene you can enter into. Instead of using the above mind frames when opening try to use the subtext of a completely made up scenario that makes you exude attractiveness. Enter into the set under the subtext of “I just slept with all of these girls” and I will communicate that to them by the way I speak, not by the words I’m saying. All of your dialogue will remain the same as it normally was.

So what happens? They catch on very quickly and you will create attraction almost instantaneously. Women LOVE guys that they can’t quite figure out, so if you go in acting like you just slept with them then you are basically a social enigma, which is like crack to them.

And this is why you can talk to them about robots for 3 mins and then all of a sudden make out! Subtext is the reason. You don’t always have to use the subtext of “I just slept with these girls”. You can use whatever you want, but this one works very well.

Subtext is one of those things that’s pretty hard to grasp through reading. That’s why Cajun and other Love Systems instructors created the DVD set “Beyond Words” so you can visually see it. In the DVD you can see Cajun teach in more depth other non-verbal techniques to attract women using your body language.

P.S. If you have any doubts about Cajun, check out Cajun picking up some hot girls. It’s a classic by now.