The Pick-Up Diary

It’s a fact: Women are attracted to dominant and self-confident men. The reason? It simply indicates a high status. And we all know that women are highly attracted to social status.

The important thing here is that about 90 % of your approach-success depends on your body language, your tone and timing. That means it’s extremely important to work on those aspects. Only a strong and coherent body language can demonstrate confidence. But what does “strong and coherent body language” mean? Here is what you have to do:

1) Smile. You’re alpha, but you also need to demonstrate you are friendly.
2) Stand up straight. never lean in.
3) Keep your shoulders and head up.
4) Don’t stand against the wall. A strong man doesn’t need protection.
5) Don’t hold your drink in front of your chest.
6) Always speak loud and clear.
7) Lean back. You’re the one receiving information. Lever lean in.
8 ) Take up room. Live big.
9) Take your hands of your pockets. Instead of looking cool it makes you look insecure.
10) Move slowly. Never hesitate. Take your time.
11) Speak slowly. Your voice is a powerful weapon.
12) Look people in the eyes.
13) Don’t touch your face.
14) Eliminate nervous hand gestures.
15) Be aware of how your body language comes across.

For more tips on body language I highly recommend to read Chapter 4 (Delivery) in Mystery’s book Revelation.

P.S. How to approach a moving girl/ set: Use your opener and if she/ they still keep/s going, only speak louder. Keep the confidence and don’t follow her. If you’re inside, you can lean against a wall and keep talking loudly. It’s extremely powerful. If you do it right, most people will stop and/ or even come back to you.

One common weakness in a guy’s game is passing tests women give them. Those “tests” are questions that girls will throw at you to see if you walk the walk as well as talk the talk. The reason girls do this is because a lot of guys can be confident on the approach and play a good poker face the whole way through the interaction, but later down the line the cracks start to show and the confident guy she thought he was is actually not that guy at all.

So girls throw these tests at us to separate the men from the boys, and a lot of the time the girl doesn’t even know she’s doing it. In summary, a shit test is a way of the girl finding out whether we are the real deal or just another hopeful trying to get into her pants. In other words, it’s a way to select the right guy.

A lot of the time when a girl is throwing out these tests is because she’s had a lot of guys hit on her that day/night/week/month/year/lifetime and has had enough of wasting her time on giving 10 minutes to everyone of the 95% of guys who haven’t got a chance. Imagine you had 20 fat chicks a day coming up and hitting on you, you’ll be nice to the first 2 or 3, then you’d probably start asking abrupt questions to filter out the ones that are actually cool enough to talk to.

Some examples of tests a girl might throw at you are:

-Why are you talking to me?
-Are you gay?
-Buy me a drink
-Who are you, do I know you?
-Is that your best pick-up line?

The 95% of guys that she’s filtering out will respond with things like:

Her: Why are you talking to me?
Guy: Oh well uh, I just thought you were really hot so wanted to say hi but I can go if you want

or

Her: Are you gay?
Guy: No I’m not gay why do you think that?

or

Her: Buy me a drink
Guy: Ok what do you want?

You probably can see why girls want to filter these guys out.

How to Pass a Test:

The best way to pass a test is to playfully ‘Agree & Exaggerate’ with what she says. For example:

Her: Are you gay?
You: I’m not gay but my boyfriend is

or

Her: Are you gay?
You: Well I don’t make eye contact when I give head, and as long as you don’t make eye contact it doesn’t count

Her: Buy me a drink
You: I’ll buy you a thousand drinks but you buy me one first

Her: Why are you talking to me?
You: I forgot there was a no talking policy at this club (while at a bar or nightclub)

or

Her: Why are you talking to me?
You: I told mum I was going to (bar or club you’re at) tonight to hopefully get married

Her: Is that a pick-up line?
(If she does say that the question/thing you said is probably too ‘gamey’, make sure you don’t come across with that weird community guy vibe or you’ll get called out a lot)
You: Yeah, now your turn

or

Her: Is that a pick-up line?
You: No, (take some ice out of your drink, drop it on the floor and step on it) now that I’ve broken the ice what’s your name?…That’s a pick up line.

Make sure that you’re coming across playfully, so smile to make it clear you’re not being serious after. Otherwise saying ‘I’m not gay but my boyfriend is’ or ‘I told mum I was going to (bar or club you’re at) tonight to hopefully get married’ in a serious tone and not smiling, it could work, but if you don’t play it off right you will be put in the weird guy box.

The way agreeing and exaggerating works is it is basically being sarcastic, so you’re making her comment sound stupid and turn it back on her being the one saying the weird things. Then you just transition on to something new, so if it’s off the bat and she throws a test I’ll agree & exaggerate, then (as long as she responds well which she should do if you do it right) transition with ‘so what’s your name’ or ‘what’s the occasion’ for example. As long as you’re doing it right you’ll see the attraction shoot up after you put it back on her.

Remember – ‘Agree & Exaggerate’ and make sure you play it off right, then transition and tests will no longer be an issue!

To learn more on how to handle the different tests women give you (even when you’re in a relationship) check out the audio download on the Love Systems Website. You can listen to the first ten minutes for FREE!

Typical scenario: You meet a girl, take her home, heat things up and …Suddenly she says “I can’t do this” or “I gotta go home now”. In the pick-up community, this phenomenon is called Last Minute Resistance (LMR).

But why does Last Minute Resistance happen?

If you want so, women are “designed” to figure out, wheather you will – to quote Mystery – “stick around after sex” or not (from the evolutionary standpoint it’s important for her, because she needs you to raise her childs).  If all you showed her the whole evening was “I want sex”, it probably will be difficult for you to get it – unless she has already made up her mind to have sex this night.

So how do you avoid last minute resistance?

First of all, you need to show her that sex isn’t the only thing you are after. You have to build comfort in first place. On the other hand, there are countless guys who are so afraid to even touch that topic and the girl (kino) that the “Friends-Zone” is unavoidable. Or they save those things until they are alone with the girl – and that’s how last minute resistance is generated. So, you have to mix those things up.

Time is also a huge factor – you need to spend some hours with her so that she can begin to trust you and will be “ready” for sex (Mystery speaks of 7 hours, but in my opinion it depends on the quality of this time, in others worlds the activities that you do together in this are much important than the time itself. You could sit around for hours in a cafe or you could go to different places and do exiting activities).

By the way, there is a new Interview Series (on Last Minutes Resistance on the Love Systems Website and the first 10 minutes are free. Check it out here.

Less than two weeks left until the Love Systems Super Conference in Las Vegas (Oct. 9-11, 2009), lets take a look at the Pickup Artist called “Keychain“, who will be speaking there. This guy is one of Love Systems’ rising stars. Based in the UK, he has traveled all over the world teaching Love Systems. He specializes in fast escalation (bathroom pulls and same night lays), day game and fashion.

Here is a new interview where he’s talking on his presentation at the Super Conference:

– What will you be talking about at the Love Systems Super Conference 2009?

I will be talking about Rapid Escalation, a specific strategy that guys can use to hone their escalation to maximum effectiveness. A lot of guys are unsure of how to read a woman, how quickly to take things forward, and when to make the move. I’ll be focusing on sharing extremely practical steps they can take to perfect this area, as well as demonstrating specific physical techniques that I use in-field on a regular basis. I’ll also be discussing how to achieve the crazy fast sexual encounters that we all read about in the lay-reports of the world’s top PUAs.

– How is sexual escalation for day game different from bar/club game?

There are differences between the two contexts, but there are far more similarities. A lot of people claim that escalation is ineffective in the daytime but my experience has proven otherwise. In truth, it depends on your personal goals. If you’re interested in having some crazy sexual adventures, I thoroughly recommend experimenting with physical escalation in the daytime. For example, my first daytime approach ended with a handjob in a photo booth. All it took was some basic verbal game, the desire to escalate and an ability to read the woman’s physical compliance.

– How can someone learn how to rapidly sexually escalate?

There are several key mindsets that I will discuss in Vegas. Essentially, I take a compliance-based approach to escalation where the speed and pace of your physical progression depends on the ability to read and influence a woman’s physical compliance. I’ll be sharing how to improve your sensitivity to a woman’s compliance so that, when she’s open to fast escalation, you know you can take things forward quickly.

I will also be sharing the specific physical techniques that I enjoy using, so that attendees will have real strategies that they can take away and use that night.

– Can you share a routine that you use for sexually escalating?

Rapid escalation is primarily a physical approach and, as such, is best demonstrated live. When I escalate, I am using the sorts of conversation techniques and verbal routines found in Magic Bullets and the Routines Manuals and taught at our bootcamps. That said, I do have specific verbal routines that set up extreme physical escalation – again these are best shown live or on video to really catch the movements.

A great technique is Dominance Spiking. Anyone who has been having sex with a woman and, in the throws of passion, has pinned her arms above her head for sexy effect will know that many women respond well to physical dominance. This principle can be used outside of the bedroom too. Examples of physical dominance include taking a woman by the hips and pulling her close, physically lifting her up, and spanking her. This act of physical dominance has a profound effect. It demonstrates an animal dominance that, used appropriately, can be very arousing.

If you want to find out more information on the Love Systems Super Conference, click here. It’s less than two weeks away. Seats are filling up fast so make sure you book your spot!

The Lineup of Pickup Artists that will teach you how to get beautiful women in your life at the Love Systems Super Conference in Las Vegas (October 9-11.2009) is finally revealed. Here’s the complete schedule (the names of the instructors in parentheses):

The Top 10 Myths of Pickup (Savoy) – There are a lot of myths and bad pieces of advice out in the dating world. The author of Magic Bullets will dispel all myths and tell you the TRUTH on what works and what doesn’t work.

High-End Club Game (5.0) – Attracting a “10” at a VIP club is different from dating the girl next door. 5.0, who has trained rock stars to pick up women, reveals the secrets for these loud and target-rich places to pick up the most sought after women in the club.

Banishing Approach Anxiety Forever (Fader) – How different would your life be if you could confidently approach any woman, anywhere? Your success with women will skyrocket once you have no approach anxiety.

Advanced Social Dynamics (Mr. M) – From the co-creator of the widely-hailed Social Circle Mastery (also offered at the Super Conference). Topics include: qualification and the social hierarchy, getting attraction in group situations, generating massive social proof, and more.

Use Frames, Framing, and Reframing Tonight (Sheriff) – One of the top 5 most powerful techniques to attract beautiful women – and the most misunderstood. Learn the secret frame control and framing techniques from one of the senior dating coaches!

Boundaries and Disqualification (Braddock) – We’re going to be going out to VIP clubs in Vegas, so we want you armed to the teeth with attraction techniques that will get through to “10s.” Braddock will teach you getting women chasing you with advanced push/pull and disqualification.

Qualification Demystified (Future) – very few men understand what qualification really is and how to implement it in the field. It is essential for building comfort and rapport so make sure you know to make yourself a source of validation to women.

Physical Escalation (“kino”) (Soul) – Touching is one the most common problems guys have when learning meeting and picking up women. Learn from the voted #1 Super Conference instructor of last year.

Body Language (Cajun) – Body Language is one of those things everyone agrees is important, but no one gets specific about it. We do. The little things add up and matter – a lot.

Turning Phone Numbers into Dates (Tenmagnet) – Do you get a lot of flaky numbers and you can’t turn these numbers into dates? Learn from Tenmagnet, featured in The Game, on turning dead phone numbers into dates.

Cajun’s Question Game Routine (Cajun) – The winner of Keys to the VIP shares this top-secret routine. If you can get to Comfort, you can close with this. A student of last year’s Super Conference learned Cajun’s routine and slept with a girl he met on the plane on his way home by using the routine. You can get the same success!

Rapid Sexual Escalation (Keychain) – You hear the stories of pulling hot girls into the bathroom, or immediate makeouts, or taking her home soon after meeting her. Or you’ve seen Love Systems instructors do it. Now for the first time, we show you how.

Book your tickets fast! Seats are filling up fast and there is limited capacity. Click here to reserve your seat now!

A huge mistake that a lot of guys make is trying to appeal to the girl at any cost. This is also called “being needy”. And that’s one of the things that turns women off instantly.

So, instead of trying to do everything just to impress her, try to tease her a bit. This way you show her that you aren’t “afraid” of beatiful girls, that dealing with such women isn’t new to you. Teasing is all about being playful. At the same time you always need to come out on top in a conversation to demonstrate that you’re the leader, the strong guy who is confident no matter what she says.

Teasing is about being cocky and funny. It’s about being brash and playful at the same time. It’s also about being creative: your best tools here are cold reading and purposeful misunderstanding.

The basic principle is always the same: push and pull (or punishment and reward). That means that you always keep the tension in the conversation. For example tell her that you like her. Then moments later pretend you’re upset by something that she did.

“Negs” (negative comments on her looks or behavior) are suitable for teasing, but even more effective at the beginning of a conversation as this way – to quote the Worlds Greatest Pickup Artist Mystery – “you disqualify yourself from being a potential suitor“.

So, without further chitchat, here are the Top Ten Lines to Tease a Girl:

1) I like your hair color… Is it real?
2) I love your smile…But I’m looking for a girl with personality.
3) I like your voice…But not what you’re saying.
4) You seem so smart. How do you manage to hide your true self?
5) You’re beautiful. But beauty is so common. What is it that you have except your looks?
6) What’s the craziest thing you’re ever done? That’s great. You and my grandma would really get along.
7) You know why you and me would never get along? We are too similar!
8 ) You are pretty…But not my type.
9) Hey, what’s your favorite song? What? That’s it. I’m going home.
10) Are you dancing or do you need to go to the toilet?

As you perform – yes, its not only about the content, but your presentation – those lines, remember that your tone is everything. Stay playful and don’t take her answers seriously. You will find a great chapter called “Disinterest” with lots of NEGs etc. in his newest e-Book Revelation (Chapter 6, p. 105-125).

P.S. Always keep in mind: The goal isn’t to insult her, but to show her that beautiful women are not a big deal to you (that’s why you answer in a playful way). Every “critical” statement should be made in a playful tone and a smile.

A lot of guys are able to start a conversation with a girl – even on the street – but then there is always an awkward moment when you want to ask for her number, but don’t have enough self-confidence to do it or to do it in a “relaxed” way. And she instantly feels it – and starts to feel queasy…

Asking for her number can be difficult – especially talking about a girl you’ve just met on the street! But actually, there is a way to stay connected without asking for her number. Let’s call it the Facebook Method:

1) Go to a girl and ask her opinion on something (for example say that you want to buy a friend a good perfume, but don’t know which one…(Remember: you have to smile when you approach!)

2) Show or tell her that you are impressed with her answer – without overdoing it. If she says “I don’t know” just ask what kind of perfume she uses.

3) Finally, say “thanks” and pretend to roll off…Turn your upper body, but

4) Then, simply turn back and say with a confident voice: “Hey! Are you on facebook? You seem to be an expert on fashion/… Maybe I will contact you for further advice.” Smile.

The reason why you are not asking for her number is that a girl is much more likely to give a guy she has just met her online contact info than her mobile number. There’s no real commitment for her in giving you her online contact information. It’s not such a big deal as giving her number to a stranger who probably only wants to get in her pants. Facebook is a social interaction platform and girls love to check out new guys online. And if she doesn’t like you, she still can ignore you.

This way you can ask a lot of girls and actually get in touch with them without displaying an obvious interest in them. If she says she’s not on facebook, keep cool and ask her about her email address. No matter what she says stay friendly and relaxed as if you’re doing this all the time. Keep in mind: girls often act bitchy to test your reaction (the so called “shit test”).

Keep in mind: Smile and try to talk with a friendly but confident voice. Practice in front of a mirror if you want. Actually, about 80 % of the communication is nonverbal. So, it’s more about how you approach (body language, voice, timing) than what you say.

Even better than a mirror is a video tape of you. Tape yourself on video to see how other people perceive you. It really gives you a reality check. Practice as long as you finally like “this” guy on the tape and your results with girls will skyrocket as you will become much more self-confident. And self-confidence is what girls are really looking for in a guy as it demonstrates a high status.

If you don’t know what to say – how to approach girls on the street – I can definitely recommend Paul Janka’s 6 CD Audio Program – it’s definitely worth it.

After some months of absence – being busy working on different projects overseas – I’m finally back.

In the last months, there has been a lot of tattle about a guy called Paul Janka and his new seduction eBook “Attraction Formula“. I have to admit after watching some videos of this guy and reading some comments in the seduction forums, I bought his book. I was curious. Obviously this guy is good with girls, but he’s quite good looking and shouldn’t have any problems finding women. So what does work for him, doesn’t have to work for everyone…The question was: is there also some interesting stuff, some fresh ideas in his book?

The interesting thing about this “seduction guide” is that’s not about picking up women in clubs and bars, but the street. So it’s a so called “day game” guide. That’s were Janka picked up most of the alleged 173 women he has slept with. Although there is an order in the book, it’s more a collection of thoughts on different aspects.

Some insights are outstanding  – like the Rule of Omission, the Movie Trailer Concept, Women’s Inability to Drive a Conversation, Emotional Kinematics, The Idea of Discipline, How to Spend your Money Towards Getting Laid, Male Pride.

Some are plain-simple and anything but fancy (do it again and again to eliminate the approach anxiety). Also, you will find only few tips on what “exactly” to say approaching in this book (Janka says he doesn’t like canned stuff). For comparison only: In Mystery’s book “Revelation” are countless lines that you can use if you don’t know what to say (but Mystery’s book costs respectable $97).

But the one thing you simply have to love about this guy is his direct and pointed way of writing – you almost can tell he’s a Hardard-educated Physicist. So, in the end, I can recommend this book – there are no groundbreaking ideas, but some insights alone are worth the $19.95.

If you need more info, here’s a good review:

www.bestseductionbooks.com

Starting a conversation with a beautiful woman can be tough. In fact, it scares most of the guys, although no one would admit it. But everyone knows the process: You get nervous, get sweaty palms and start stuttering – if you decide to approach her at all.

However, there are ways to do it right. Ways that work.

1)    Use an Opinion Opener.

An opener is a question or statement you start a conversation with. Thus, an opinion opener is about asking her opinion on something. For example: “Hi! I’m searching for a birthday present for a friend. She’s the same age as you. Do you have an idea? I was thinking about a book…” Or “Hey, do you think wearing too many rings is kind of gay? I want to get some, but I’m not sure…” Let her speak and listen carefully as you can use her answers to keep up the conversation. A good opener will automatically lead to other questions and topics of conversation.

2)    Demonstrate Value.

Impress her with stuff only few people talk about at the beginning of a conversation. For example, if you asked her about the rings and she wears one or some, say that you read in a magazine yesterday that wearing rings on certain fingers says something about one’s personality. On the other hand, if she’s not wearing any rings, you can tell her that the decision not to wear rings says something about her personality. In doing so you demonstrate a higher value as most of the guys use “interview questions” like: “What is your name?”, “Where are you from?”, “What kind of work you do?” Read up on palm reading, (favorite) color meaning, finger length meaning or psycho tests. Women love tests where you tell them something about them they didn’t know. But practice it at home (with a friend) first.

3)     Find Similarities.

This is necessary to build comfort. She has to see herself in you, has to realize that you both have the same feelings. Of course, you need some time to build up comfort, but also a short story like this can be striking: “Hey, you have the same boots like my sister! I was shopping with her and she searched through 10 shoe stores to find them…” Again, let her talk for a while, maybe you will find something you can relate to and build even more comfort.

P.S. Never open with “Excuse me”. As a man of high status (at least that’s what you want to demonstrate, because women are attracted to status) you don’t need to apologize for a simple question or statement. You will find more tips how to start a conversation, how to demonstrate value and build comfort here:

A lot of guys who struggle with girls are highly motivated to improve themselves. But in order to improve yourself, you need to know what to improve. And often people simply don’t know what they are doing wrong, they haven’t identified their “sticking point”:

Maybe you don’t know how to open, maybe you don’t know how to create attraction, maybe you always skip the comfort building-phase. Or maybe you can’t bring yourself to speak to strangers, have some nervous ticks speaking with women, play the funny guy to smooth over your insecurity or your mind goes blank facing a beautiful girl. Maybe you don’t care about grooming and looks. Maybe you endlessly search for the right moment to kiss the girl or don’t use touching (kino) at all and always end up in the friends zone – this list is endless.

So, first you have to identify your problem, your sticking point with women. Here is what you can do to find out where your problem with girls might be:

1) Think about the past situations with women and what went wrong. Try to see the whole situation from her perspective – would you like this guy and would you think this guy has got girls in his life? If the answer is “no” – why? Compare yourself with successful guys – what do they do and you don’t?

2) Ask your friends and try to get an honest answer on how they see you interacting with women. Let them speak, don’t interrupt and don’t search for any excuses. Accept what they say – in most cases they see the right picture and you are the one who doesn’t want to accept the reality. Most guys don’t get over this point because admitting a weakness normally lowers your self-esteem. And nobody likes that. Hence most of the guys never really get better with women. Be the difference: Accept that you have to change things and start working on it.

3) Tape yourself on video to see how other people perceive you. It really gives you a reality check. Practice as long as you finally like “this” guy on the tape and your results with girls will skyrocket as you will become much more self-confident. And self-confidence is what girls are really looking for in a guy as it demonstrates a high status.

4) Get more information on attraction and psychology (internet, book store). You have to be aware of the basic principles of human interaction. But don’t overdo it. You don’t need all the books, two or three are enough at the beginning. The information you get from them is only there to know why something works. But it’s absolutely worthless if YOU don’t use it in the real life. You only get better if you go out and approach girls. The lack of experience with girls is the number one reason why guys don’t get the right results with girls. Here’s how you get the most out of the information you receive: break it apart and try one thing after another. If you read something new, go out and try it (and only it) until you get the right results. It’s not that easy in praxis, but it’s the most effective way to get better – and this is your goal, isn’t it?