The Pick-Up Diary

Does the following scenario sound familiar to you?

You meet a girl in a club, things go well, you make out and it gets really hot. But for whatever reason you’re unable to go somewhere private, so you exchange numbers and agree to meet within the next few days. But as you call her later, she seems disinterested and says she is busy this week. You call her later but she doesn’t pick up the phone and never returns a call.

What happend here? Let’s break it down a little bit:

When men notice that a girl is interested in them, they tend to heat up things way too quickly. Instead of taking a step back, getting to know each other (comfort building), they tend to escalate the sexual tension.

So, here’s the reason why she never calls you back:

The next day, the girl isn’t feeling the same way, she isn’t aroused anymore and her conscience tells her she made a mistake making out with a guy she doesn’t really know. She begins to feel uncomfortable associating you only with the sexual desire you conveyed. Imaging how a date with you could look like makes her even more uncomfortable. Now, to her you’re just the next guy who wants in her pants and nothing interesting or special anymore.

So, the mistake is about missing out the comfort building stage, which comes after (the stage of) attraction and before seduction. In order to be successful you got to run through all the stages, one after the other.

P.S. You will find more detailed explanations in Paul Janka’a brand-new eBook Attraction Formula.

In order to get a girl’s attention you need to stand out from the mass. People judge by the looks and you have only seconds to demonstrate that you are a man of style. You don’t need to “peacock” (the term is explained below) like Mystery and Style in the picture above, but if you’re comfortable with it, give it a try! It’s a good way to push yourself out of the comfort zone. So, first and foremost you have to look at the way you dress:

Is your dress boring or is it interesting and unique?

It’s quite helpful to ask your friends about your outfit (but please don’t be offended if they are critical, criticism will help you much more than a simple “Yeah, you’re the man!”). It’s even better if you find some girls to ask. Simply tell them you want to change your style a bit – girls love all kinds of fashion questions. You can also ask girls on the street how they like your outfit and where you can buy some cool stuff.

If you’ve already read the book I mentioned before called “The Game”, you are familiar with the “Peacock Theory”. If not, here is an enlightening extract:

“Peacock theory is the idea that in order to attract the most desirable female of the species, it’s necessary to stand out in a flashy and colorful way. For humans… the equivalent of a flashy peacock tail is a shiny shirt, a garish hat, and jewelry that lights up in the dark…”

That means you can get a girl’s attention and get her interested in you simply through the way you dress. You think wearing stuff like feather boas, cowboy hats or eye-catching jewelry is silly? Maybe it is. But think about this: How many times have you been approached by someone on your outfit? Not that much? Never?

Well, that’s what this stuff is good for – it allows women (mainly shy women) to start a conversation with you. If you have a cool answer and can demonstrate higher value you will most likely get her number. At the same time you demonstrate a high self-confidence wearing this stuff. And women love confident guys.

If you want to improve your sense of style, I recommend Magic Bullets by Savoy (he was formerly working with Mystery but the advice in the book is much more down-to-earth). Check out chapter 20, page 171.

P.S. Get rid of plaid and Hawaiian shirts. Magnum isn’t the coolest guy in the world anymore.
Look for interesting necklaces, rings or wristlets. Why? Because every woman wants to know what they stand for.

P.P.S.: Mystery and Style on Peacocking:

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Ask yourself…

1. When was the last time I went out?

2. While I was out, did I open sets often enough?

3. While in set, did I push as far as possible?

In those 3 easy questions there are tons of ways you may find you sabotage yourself.

Balance is vital in life, but real progress takes real energy. The WORST thing you can do is to NOT go out much.

The best techniques mean nothing, if you’re not actually approaching.

You have to make a commitment. Get in the field. It’s time to go out. It’s time to approach.

And that’s not all.

Beyond showing up, and beyond playing, we must always be PUSHING to the next point.

The key is FORCING. If you’re ever wondering “how can I get past this anxiety?” The most

effective way is to not offer yourself a choice. Don’t even let it be a question, instead just:

DO. ACT. PUSH. Soon enough, you’ll open.

Temptation will pull you towards comfort, but this is the enemy of progress. You must push

past comfort in each of your experiences.

FORCE into attraction. When that is down

FORCE into qualification. Get that in place

FORCE into the next step. The cycle can not

and should not end.

Never let yourself succumb to the dreaded monster of self comfort, for if you

do, it will be the end of the BEST version of you.

It doesn’t have to end that way though, it won’t be decided by chance or destiny. It

is decided through one thing alone, one simple question you must answer for yourself:

Will you perpetually push yourself past the next step through EXPERIENCE?

The choice is yours alone.

P.S. A couple more weeks and the Love Systems Super Conference will be taking place in Las Vegas. There are only few seats left, so hurry up!

P.P.S. Here is a video of Love Systems coach “Future” giving a talk at the conference last year.

The Penny, Nicholas, and Dime Routine by Style is a simple routine to demonstrate higher value (DHV). The best DHVs are those that make the woman or the group you

approach have a great time. These types of DHVs set you up as the guy who creates the good time for them. Everyone wants to be around that guy.

For the Penny, Nicholas and Dime Routine you’ll need a penny, a nickel and a dime. You could carry the coins around, but you could also use this opportunity to create an opener.

“Hey, do you have a penny, nickel, and dime? I want to show my friend something cool.”

Once you have the coins, it’s time to begin. Here’s how it goes:

“My friend showed me this cool game. It’s a trip. You ready?

OK…”

Present your left hand palm up, fingers together, to create a table for your effect.

Spread the coins out in your palm, heads up, in a line.

Place the penny nearest your finger tips, the nickel in the middle, and the dime nearest your wrist. This ordering will move the energy of the game directed toward you as you do the pointing.

Now say and do the following:

“Ben’s mother had three children: Penny, Nicholas, and …”

When you say “Penny”, point at the penny.

When you say “Nicholas”, point at the nickel.

If whoever you’re playing the game with isn’t looking at the coins, make eye contact with her, then shift your gaze to the coins, so she will follow your gaze and look at the coins.

Then point at the dime and keep quiet. She’ll feel the conversational lead and attempt to fill in the verbal blank.

They might say something like, “Dime-o”, or “Dime-us” or some other name that isn’t correct.

Go ahead and stop reading this passage for a moment, and figure out the right answer for yourself.

Got it?

The third child’s name is Ben because this whole game started by saying “Ben’s mother had three children…” Then two of the children (Penny and Nicholas) were named, by process of

elimination the third child must be Ben because it’s his mother!

Now, if she doesn’t get the correct answer, then repeat the exact same procedure over.

When you repeat the the patter feel free to put the coins in her hand by saying, “Gimme your hand,” or you could just proceed by gently taking her wrist, lifting her hand, with the fingers together, palm up, in a platform position. Place the coins on her palm in a line in order, penny, nickel, and dime pointing at you.

Repeat the quote while pointing at the appropriate coins.

“Ben’s mother had three children: Penny, Nicholas, and …”

If after a few repeats she still doesn’t get it. You can remove the coins and say, “Now don’t think about the coins, close your eyes and just listen.”

Now when you say the phrase again emphasize the words BEN and THREE. “BEN’S mother had THREE children…”

Usually, this gives her that “A-ha!” moment and she gets it. Without the visual stimulation of the coins and pointing, it’s much easier to solve the riddle. The reason why this works is

because of the visual misdirection. The penny-Penny and nickel-Nicholas connection made an inference that there was some indirect link between what was spoken and what was seen, namely, the dime.

If she still can’t get it, promise to tell her the secret of the Penny, Nicholas, Dime game later or the next time you hang out. This intrigue will help secure another date, or, if she’s the

intensely curious type that can’t wait, she might hang on your arm, begging “Tell me. Tell me!” Which isn’t a bad thing either. Tell her you will show her the secret only if she knows a friend there at the venue that you guys can play the game on together.

When you’re performing for an audience of one, especially one you have a special interest in, ground the emotions and anchor the good feelings to you. After she achieves the game’s revelation, you can add some romantic patter to enhance your relationship

and bring you two closer together:

“Now isn’t that amazing! It’s funny how once we see things in a certain way, we can’t ever go back to seeing them the old way again. Like with this game, there was some connection right in front of our eyes and ears but we couldn’t see it or hear it. Yet the pleasantly surprising solution appeared, seemingly out of nowhere.”

P.S. There are tons of great routines in the book Magic Bullets.

Believe it or not: There is one thing that attracts women’s attention even more than shoes. It’s “social proof“. Let me explain this one:

If you’re at a party or some other social event where many different people come together and you simply go up to people and start a conversation (it really doesn’t matter what opener you use as long as you have a friendly and outgoing attitude), give high fives etc., it looks like you know a lot of people (but you actually don’t). You even don’t have to talk for hours, it’s more about the number of people you seem to know and the vibe between you and them.

A guy who’s able to do that is obvioulsy a social person, and his social status is by far higher than the one’s who’s standing alone in a corner with a beer in front of his chest. And women women are highly attracted to social status. Here’s an small story to illustrate this point:

Once I was working at a fashion fair -our team consisted of six girls and two guys (me and a really good-looking guy). We didn’t know each other and they were no signs of attraction between me and the girls at the beginning…

By the way, this reminds me of Mystery saying something like “for a girl, a new guy – no matter how he looks – is always a 5 (on a 10 point-scale)” on Disk 6 of the Revelation DVDs…And that’s true, as a man you score points by other qualities than looks (for comparison: a hot chick instantly is and will remain a “8” or “9” no matter what).

So, back to the story…We had to work in a big hall, where you could see all each other at any time. And there was a lot of time where nothing happend. So, I simply started chatting with the girls from our group. I went to one girl, asked her something, told her a joke or funny story, then went to the second one aso. I also chatted with the other guy (who was very good looking, but ended up standing alone the whole time), some guys that were working there too and some visitors.

So, here’s what happend after some: the girls came up to me and started talking. There were IOIs (Indicators of Interest) en masse. Keep in mind: at the beginning not a single girl was interested. It was really amazing, at the end of the day I had number closed four girls from that group (the other two weren’t that good looking actually). This was probably the first time I truly realized the power of “social proof”.

First of all, Happy New Year to you all!

I’m finally back from vacation, where I ran across this beautiful, gorgeous girl – so please bear with me, I wanted to spend as much time as I could with her.

Actually, spending time with her helped me understand better a lot of basic things concerning the interaction between men and women. Here are some key points:

1)    Being Self-Confident is important. By now, there are many people telling that you should forget about being confident, because either you have it or not. And if “not” is the case, there is nothing you can do. That’s ridiculous. You gain self-confidence with every approach. And your self-confidence skyrockets with every success. Women look for strong, confident guys – it’s a fact.

2)    Being friendly in spite of everything. Nothing scares women off than being rude or harsh. I know what you want to say now: what about the Bad Guys, the Alpha Males that seemingly are rude to girls and still are successful? That’s right, in a way there are harsh, but this is the way they demonstrate dominance and most important: they still give they girls the feeling that they are interested in them (the girls) as human beings, as attractive women. Sometimes it’s only a special look.

So, no matter how she reacts to your approach, comments aso. try to stay relaxed and positive. Keep in mind: Beautiful women often behave harsh at the beginning of an interaction with a guy they don’t know in order to test how he reacts, to see if he’s strong and confident enough. So don’t fail a “shit test” like “You do this to girls all the time?” Simply ignore it or make fun of it (“Yeah, you’re the 9th today.”). This leads to Point #3:

3)    Being Strong. That means you have to act like you have already beautiful women in your life and it’s not a big deal to you to talk to a beautiful woman you have just met on the street. Try to behave like she’s not attractive at all. If she’s very beautiful, never make compliments on her looks! She hears it all the time and to her you’re just the next guy who wants in her pants. Instead you can use a “neg” like “That’s a nice hair color! Is it real?” to show her that you’re not impressed by her looks and thus disqualify yourself as a suitor.

Remember: The more experience you get in interacting with women, the BETTER you will get (provided that you don’t make the same mistakes again and again). This means you have to practice a lot. Go out and approach, don’t put it off, start practicing today!

P.S. There is a brand-new e-book called the Online-Game, that I can recommend:

www.internetattractionsystem.com

It’s a fact: Most single men are unhappy. But there are also happy guys out there – those who meet women often and often have sex with different women. And every one can become such a guy, because fortunately the ability to attract women doesn’t depend on your looks, job, income or background.

So, what are the secrets those lucky guys know about? How can you attract more women?

Secret #1: Be social.

The idea behind it is that the more social you are, the more people you meet. The more people you meet, the higher the chance you meet women and will have sex with them. Spending all day in the gym may improve your looks, but it won’t get you more women. Besides your social skills will get better every time you communicate with different people and you will do better next time you meet a beautiful girl. More important, one of the things women look for in a man is social status. If you are a person who talks with many different people (girls and guys) on parties and so on, your social status is high and women will automatically feel attracted to you. If you stand alone in a corner with a beer in your hand the whole evening and watch all the other people having fun, your social status is as low as it can be. So, go out regularly and interact with different people. Get to know people. Try to make a habit of it. If you don’t know what to say, learn some openers like “Hi guys! I have a quick question for you – who lies more, men or women?” aso. Remember, nothing impresses a woman more than social status, the fact that other people (not only girls) like you, that you are popular (= social proof). Smile and laugh a lot, it will have a positive effect on the people you’re talking to and it demonstrates confidence.

Secret #2: Be the Alpha Guy.

Women love dominant guys. Actually, dominance and self-confidence are the top qualities women look for in a man. And as about 90 % of the success of your approach depends on your body language, your tone and timing, you have to master those areas first. Only a strong and coherent body language can demonstrate confidence. Women are attracted to confidence as it indicates a high status. The alpha guy is a type of man who can demonstrate that he is successful and has women in his life. He is not needy like the nice guys women only rip off. The alpha guy always sets the tone, never looks for approval and always has a plan where to go and what to do. He never asks the woman “What would you like to do?” Don’t be fooled, most women don’t want a man who’s asking them all the time on their wishes. They want a strong man who knows what he wants, tells them want they need – a leader who will take them for a ride. The alpha guy always has his own opinion on everything and never shows he’s jealous.

Secret #3: Be interesting.

To quote the famous pickup artist Mystery: “In order to get a woman interested in you, you have to be interesting.” Knowing interesting facts makes you interesting. But it’s not enough, you have to develop a unique personality, your own point of view on anything. The reason for that is, it makes you stand out from the last 10 or even 100 guys the girl you’re talking to hooked up with. Being interesting also means that you can demonstrate (a special) value – something not everyone can do. This doesn’t mean that you have to play a greasy song on the guitar (but do so if you can). Read up on palm reading, dream interpretation or psycho tests and use it on your next date. Women love all kinds of tests and actually, you are interesting if you know about that stuff.

If you want to meet new girls, you need to know where to go. Most guys instantly think of clubs and bars. But actually, these places are not that great to meet girls.

Here’s the reason: In clubs girls get hit on all the time (with stuff like “Can I buy you a drink?” or “Are you often here?”) as most guys think it’s the only place where it’s okay to approach girls (and mostly it’s also the only place they have the guts to do it).

So, by and by the girls get pissed off and start acting bitchy in those places (the so-called “bitch shield” is an automatic mechanism to protect yourself from all the horny guys).

Besides, most clubs are too noisy, overcrowded and the cool chill-out places where you can build comfort or make out with a girl are more often than not taken.

Of course, there are also cafés, but if you’re searching for places where women are not attuned to be approached, check out the my list of the Top 5 Places where women behave naturally:

1) Bookstore. It’s a fact: Most customers here are women. Find a nice girl and get a book recommendation.

2) Grocery. Fruit and veg section. Women are into balanced diet. Start a conversation.

3) Drugstore. Same story as in #1 here. Small downside: Most women are in a hurry.

4) Clothing store. Women’s section. Mindframe: You’re looking for a present for a friend. Just ask, women love all kind of fashion questions.

5) Perfumery. Many women here, unfortunately also some overly committed shop assistants.

The cool thing about these places: Women act much more naturally here as only few guys approach them at these places.

P.S. The nail salon, the jewel store and the library are also places where women are among each other. For more places check out Paul Janka’s Attraction Formula (page 15-18) and Savoy’s Magic Bullets (Chapter 13) – both outstanding books that I highly recommend.

Spending all day in the gym may improve your looks. But seriously – it won’t get you more women. A lot of men think that women are attracted to a well-trained body. That’s right. But they also think a huge biceps is enough to impress and to arouse a woman. And that’s ridiculously wrong.

Women are aroused through emotional reactions, and those are caused primarily by words. So what women are really looking for is a guy who knows what to say, how to say it and when to say it. Only then touching will get you somewhere.

So, what you really need to work on is your ability to arouse a woman with your words. At the same time you have to learn how to read women’s body language.

Still, a lot of guys believe that women are attracted to a big biceps, chest and so on – to how a guy looks like. Here is what women are really attracted to: Status and Personality. Clues to those are characteristics like decisiveness, leadership, confidence and intelligence. So what you really need to train is not your biceps but your ability to exhibit the right traits for success.

Think about concrete goals in your life. Women like men with goals as this demonstrates a strong, assertive character. Why? Because it makes you interesting, it makes you stand out from the last 10 or even 100 guys the girl you’re talking to hooked up with.

This doesn’t mean that you already have to be successful in your business, but that you can demonstrate her that you can be successful. However you always have to pay attention to her reaction on your behaviour and adapt (this is called calibrating) – otherwise you will lose her.

If you want to know how exactly to demonstrate these qualities, check out Mystery’s ebook Revelation (Chapters 5 & 9).