The Pick-Up Diary

As men we might go out on the date-hunt alone. But women, especially women of quality, are rarely found out at clubs and bars socializing alone. They travel in wing-woman packs, or mixed groups of men and women protecting each other from slime-balls, drunken idiots, and boring AFCs (average frustrated chumps).

But you are different because you recognize this fact and you’re  going to not only overcome it but use it to your advantage.

If you opened, demonstrated value (showed you’re interesting and attractive) and disqualified yourself from being the “next guy” to heighten attraction in your target,  you should be receiving “Indicators of Interest” (IOIs) from the woman in set that is your target. This concept is as easy as it sounds. An IOI is something a woman does (maybe even subconsciously) to show you that she’s interested in you as more than just a friend.

Here’s a small list of IOIs:

1. She makes prolonged eye contact with you.

2. She touches you in a playful. A tap on the arm, friendly punch to the shoulder or joking hip check.

3. She fixes her hair or other aspects of her appearance in your presence.

4. She tries to insert herself into the conversation you’re having with other people in the set or if the conversation with you dies she re-starts it.

5. She’s willing to do simple things you ask her to do: “Here hold this cup.” or “Switch places with me, you stand here.”

6. She laughs at your jokes even when no one else does.

7. She doesn’t want you to leave.

The key with IOIs is to notice them and to act accordingly. What does that mean exactly you ask? Well, if a woman is showing you she’s attracted to you then you can start escalating things to the next level chief. Doesn’t that sound like fun?

The rule of thumb is to notice 3-4 IOIs then to begin to work on escalation, namely isolating the target to build comfort. So, it may take you some time to get out of your head about saying and performing your Openers, DHVs, and DQs for you to also be able to keep track of IOIs but eventually this is the point to sarging often. That’s why PUAs like to run the same material over and over again – because it allows them to be able to focus on other things like counting IOIs. Try it for yourself.

How to Isolate

Let’s say you notice those IOIs your next step is to try to get some alone time with her.

Here’s where the group dynamic comes into play. It’s tough to get awoman away from her friends. It’s tough because her friends are her safety net and it’s there job to keep her safe. But provided you did everything right you should have not only been charming your special lady but also the group so you’ve got that going for you.

But you still need to follow a few rules to keep her super team of friends from worrying, so here’s how it goes:

You notice 3-4 IOIs from the target and you know you’ve achieved attraction to you. Now address the group say:

“Even though she’s trouble (feisty, a mess, etc., insert an adjective here that calls back a DQ), there’s something about your friend I find interesting. You guys mind if I talk to her alone for just a few minutes right over there?” (point to a spot near the group but far enough that you’re out of earshot).

Now, that sentence you just read doesn’t get said to a group of women or any group often. It’s totally alpha and confident to ask the group for this and they’ll respect it. Unless there’s a really drunk AMOG or a super tough wing-woman that loathes you the group usually always just nods and says “Sure, go ahead!”

You can’t prepare yourself for all contingencies so let’s just say the situation goes smooth and no one objects which is 9 times out of ten. The target will have heard what you said so at this point look her in the eye and say “Let’s talk for a minute over there before I go.” Then put your arm out suggestively so that she takes it.

Walk with the target over to your isolation spot – you’re now in isolation.

Why and How to Build Comfort

You build comfort because meeting and dating men is a scary prospect for a  woman. Think about all the psycho dudes she’s met in her life and the guys that have just tried to get in her pants. It’s no wonder she has her defenses up. You need to earn her trust and show her that you aren’t crazy and that you’re interested in more than just her body. This is the key to her really wanting to give you her number and her answering when you call it a few days later.

That’s the why and here’s the how. The Cube is a great routine to use in comfort building because it’s a good way to get to know someone on a deeper level. Feel free to run The Cube as your Isolation Routine.

In addition to running routines a good option in the comfort building phase is to listen. You already have this girl interested in you so now you need to get to know her. Ask her broad open ended questions: “What are your passions? What are you all about? You seem different from these other women in this place, what makes you special?” I think you get the idea. If she starts talking and doesn’t stop that’s a great sign. Your job now is to listen intently and look into her eyes.

P.S. Learn How to Get Your Ex Back NOW!

Giving compliments and writing endless messages without coming to the point are two big mistakes in online dating. But there is one thing that is even worse – trying to be a nice guy.

The problem with being a nice guy is that in 90 % of the time you will end up in the friends-zone. Save the nice guy attitude for your friends. If you want to attract girls online you have to demonstrate a strong character.

The profiles in which you seem to be an asshole, telling that you don’t care what anybody thinks, that you have high standards and that you’re tired of people with emotional problems work the best (s. N. Strauss/ D. DeAngelo).

Act like you’re the prize, ask her to tell you what she’s got except her looks and make fun of her profile picture (“Did you shot this picture in the toilet?”). But don’t overdo it.

P.S. Learn How to Get Your Ex Back NOW!

Let me distract you for a second from this pic for a small question:

How do you improve your skills in a particular area?

By practice, by doing something – it’s obvious. If you’re learning a new language the most effective way to get better is to speak in that language a lot. The same goes for if you want to get better with girls. You have to practice a lot. You can read countless books – which will make think you know it all – but unless you go out regularly and approach women, you won’t get better!

Learning by doing is effective, but it’s even more effective when you know (exactly) what you’re doing. That means besides practice you also need some theory, some knowledge – the techniques that really work.

Now where do you get that all together?

At Walmart At a Bootcamp, exactly.

In fact, it’s the most effective way to get better. Of course, it costs money and not everyone can afford a bootcamp. But if you can and you want to get better real quick (because it can take years to get better with girls studying on your own – chances are you won’t get better at all and simply consume all the pick-up material to feel better) this is the best opportunity you will get:

On the Oct 9-11.2009, worlds best pickup artists and dating coaches will come to Las Vegas. And you can be part of it! You will get the opportunity to meet and learn from the best:

Savoy (author of Magic Bullets), Cajun (winner of Keys to the VIP), The Don (author of the Routines Manual), Soul (the world’s #1 expert in Day Game), Mr M and Braddock (creators of Social Circle Mastery), Brad P, Tenmagnet, Fader, Sheriff, David Wygant, and more.

The three days are filled with seminars, live exercises, and infield (going out to meet women with dating coaches instructing you).

More precisely, there they will have two rooms with different sessions running at the same time:

1)  a seminar room:

The seminar room is where the instructors and guest speakers will reveal their latest breakthroughs, give lectures, and talk about specific topics on dating. Past subjects have included:

.. Social Circle Mastery
.. Advanced Attraction
.. Deep Comfort
.. Inner Game
.. Relationship Management and Multiple Relationships
.. Callback Humor
.. Day Game
.. Strippers and Hired Guns
.. And lots more.

and

2) a breakout room.

In the interactive breakout room you will be able to talk to instructors and work with them on a particular part of their game. These live exercises include:

.. Approaching and Transitioning – Get your approaching skills down!
.. Teasing and Bantering – How to think on your feet and build attraction FAST!
.. Physical Escalation – Touching gets results and prevents you getting in the friendzone!
.. Body Language – Project confidence with your walk, posture, and gestures!
.. Frame Control – Steer interactions the way you want it to go!

This way, you can decide on your own what you want to do because there are always two sessions running at the same time. If you want to work with an instructor, you can go to the breakout room. If you want to listen to a lecture on a specific topic, the seminar room is where you want to be. You can tailor the whole weekend to your own level of game.

There are two packages: Silver and Gold:

The Silver level attendees will be able to attend all the live exercises and seminars during the Super Conference. The Gold level attendees will also be able to do live exercises and seminars, but will also go out two nights with infield coaching by our instructors.

The price for Silver is $947 and Gold is $3,797 (which is still cheap compared to the the astronomical price of $4,000 per person for a Mystery Method Bootcamp). For more info, take a look at this video:

Learn to Attract Women at the Love Systems Super Conference (Oct 9-11.2009)

Recently one of the greatest PUAs in the world Style (aka Neil Strauss) published a list of the top ten epiphanies he had while learning the Game.

According to him these epiphanies helped transform him from a guy who was too scared to speak to women, into a guy who had experiences that even in his wildest fantasies, he never imagined were possible:

1. What you look like doesn’t matter. But how you present yourself does.

2. Nobody is judging you. They’re too busy worrying about what you think of them. So instead of seeking her approval, give her yours. Then take it away. Then give it to her again. This is called flirting.

3. Women like nice guys. They just don’t like weak guys. So you can still be nice, but you must also be confident and strong-minded. In order for a woman to be with you, she needs to feel safe with you.

4. It’s not enough to just be yourself. You must be your best self.

5. There’s a thin, but important line between being horny and being sexual. A horny man hits on a woman before she’s attracted to him. A sexual man waits until he’s attracted her.

6. Just because you’re interacting doesn’t mean you’re attracting. Learn to recognize the

difference between politeness and interest.

7. To win the heart of a woman, you have to be willing to risk losing her.

8. When a girl you went on a date with in the past or who suddenly disappeared on you calls you out of the blue, it generally means one thing – so call back right away before she finds someone else to be with that night.

9. Always call a woman the day after sleeping with her and make her feel good about having let go with you. Even if you don’t want to see her again or she doesn’t want to see you again. Don’t ruin her for other guys.

10. The Canadian hockey player Wayne Gretzky once said “You miss 100 percent of the shots you never take.” So simply by approaching and saying something, no matter how badly you may bumble, you’ve dramatically increased your odds of being with her.

Does the following scenario sound familiar to you?

You meet a girl in a club, things go well, you make out and it gets really hot. But for whatever reason you’re unable to go somewhere private, so you exchange numbers and agree to meet within the next few days. But as you call her later, she seems disinterested and says she is busy this week. You call her later but she doesn’t pick up the phone and never returns a call.

What happend here? Let’s break it down a little bit:

When men notice that a girl is interested in them, they tend to heat up things way too quickly. Instead of taking a step back, getting to know each other (comfort building), they tend to escalate the sexual tension.

So, here’s the reason why she never calls you back:

The next day, the girl isn’t feeling the same way, she isn’t aroused anymore and her conscience tells her she made a mistake making out with a guy she doesn’t really know. She begins to feel uncomfortable associating you only with the sexual desire you conveyed. Imaging how a date with you could look like makes her even more uncomfortable. Now, to her you’re just the next guy who wants in her pants and nothing interesting or special anymore.

So, the mistake is about missing out the comfort building stage, which comes after (the stage of) attraction and before seduction. In order to be successful you got to run through all the stages, one after the other.

P.S. You will find more detailed explanations in Paul Janka’a brand-new eBook Attraction Formula.

In order to get a girl’s attention you need to stand out from the mass. People judge by the looks and you have only seconds to demonstrate that you are a man of style. You don’t need to “peacock” (the term is explained below) like Mystery and Style in the picture above, but if you’re comfortable with it, give it a try! It’s a good way to push yourself out of the comfort zone. So, first and foremost you have to look at the way you dress:

Is your dress boring or is it interesting and unique?

It’s quite helpful to ask your friends about your outfit (but please don’t be offended if they are critical, criticism will help you much more than a simple “Yeah, you’re the man!”). It’s even better if you find some girls to ask. Simply tell them you want to change your style a bit – girls love all kinds of fashion questions. You can also ask girls on the street how they like your outfit and where you can buy some cool stuff.

If you’ve already read the book I mentioned before called “The Game”, you are familiar with the “Peacock Theory”. If not, here is an enlightening extract:

“Peacock theory is the idea that in order to attract the most desirable female of the species, it’s necessary to stand out in a flashy and colorful way. For humans… the equivalent of a flashy peacock tail is a shiny shirt, a garish hat, and jewelry that lights up in the dark…”

That means you can get a girl’s attention and get her interested in you simply through the way you dress. You think wearing stuff like feather boas, cowboy hats or eye-catching jewelry is silly? Maybe it is. But think about this: How many times have you been approached by someone on your outfit? Not that much? Never?

Well, that’s what this stuff is good for – it allows women (mainly shy women) to start a conversation with you. If you have a cool answer and can demonstrate higher value you will most likely get her number. At the same time you demonstrate a high self-confidence wearing this stuff. And women love confident guys.

If you want to improve your sense of style, I recommend Magic Bullets by Savoy (he was formerly working with Mystery but the advice in the book is much more down-to-earth). Check out chapter 20, page 171.

P.S. Get rid of plaid and Hawaiian shirts. Magnum isn’t the coolest guy in the world anymore.
Look for interesting necklaces, rings or wristlets. Why? Because every woman wants to know what they stand for.

P.P.S.: Mystery and Style on Peacocking:

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The Penny, Nicholas, and Dime Routine by Style is a simple routine to demonstrate higher value (DHV). The best DHVs are those that make the woman or the group you

approach have a great time. These types of DHVs set you up as the guy who creates the good time for them. Everyone wants to be around that guy.

For the Penny, Nicholas and Dime Routine you’ll need a penny, a nickel and a dime. You could carry the coins around, but you could also use this opportunity to create an opener.

“Hey, do you have a penny, nickel, and dime? I want to show my friend something cool.”

Once you have the coins, it’s time to begin. Here’s how it goes:

“My friend showed me this cool game. It’s a trip. You ready?

OK…”

Present your left hand palm up, fingers together, to create a table for your effect.

Spread the coins out in your palm, heads up, in a line.

Place the penny nearest your finger tips, the nickel in the middle, and the dime nearest your wrist. This ordering will move the energy of the game directed toward you as you do the pointing.

Now say and do the following:

“Ben’s mother had three children: Penny, Nicholas, and …”

When you say “Penny”, point at the penny.

When you say “Nicholas”, point at the nickel.

If whoever you’re playing the game with isn’t looking at the coins, make eye contact with her, then shift your gaze to the coins, so she will follow your gaze and look at the coins.

Then point at the dime and keep quiet. She’ll feel the conversational lead and attempt to fill in the verbal blank.

They might say something like, “Dime-o”, or “Dime-us” or some other name that isn’t correct.

Go ahead and stop reading this passage for a moment, and figure out the right answer for yourself.

Got it?

The third child’s name is Ben because this whole game started by saying “Ben’s mother had three children…” Then two of the children (Penny and Nicholas) were named, by process of

elimination the third child must be Ben because it’s his mother!

Now, if she doesn’t get the correct answer, then repeat the exact same procedure over.

When you repeat the the patter feel free to put the coins in her hand by saying, “Gimme your hand,” or you could just proceed by gently taking her wrist, lifting her hand, with the fingers together, palm up, in a platform position. Place the coins on her palm in a line in order, penny, nickel, and dime pointing at you.

Repeat the quote while pointing at the appropriate coins.

“Ben’s mother had three children: Penny, Nicholas, and …”

If after a few repeats she still doesn’t get it. You can remove the coins and say, “Now don’t think about the coins, close your eyes and just listen.”

Now when you say the phrase again emphasize the words BEN and THREE. “BEN’S mother had THREE children…”

Usually, this gives her that “A-ha!” moment and she gets it. Without the visual stimulation of the coins and pointing, it’s much easier to solve the riddle. The reason why this works is

because of the visual misdirection. The penny-Penny and nickel-Nicholas connection made an inference that there was some indirect link between what was spoken and what was seen, namely, the dime.

If she still can’t get it, promise to tell her the secret of the Penny, Nicholas, Dime game later or the next time you hang out. This intrigue will help secure another date, or, if she’s the

intensely curious type that can’t wait, she might hang on your arm, begging “Tell me. Tell me!” Which isn’t a bad thing either. Tell her you will show her the secret only if she knows a friend there at the venue that you guys can play the game on together.

When you’re performing for an audience of one, especially one you have a special interest in, ground the emotions and anchor the good feelings to you. After she achieves the game’s revelation, you can add some romantic patter to enhance your relationship

and bring you two closer together:

“Now isn’t that amazing! It’s funny how once we see things in a certain way, we can’t ever go back to seeing them the old way again. Like with this game, there was some connection right in front of our eyes and ears but we couldn’t see it or hear it. Yet the pleasantly surprising solution appeared, seemingly out of nowhere.”

P.S. There are tons of great routines in the book Magic Bullets.

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Believe it or not: There is one thing that attracts women’s attention even more than shoes. It’s “social proof“. Let me explain this one:

If you’re at a party or some other social event where many different people come together and you simply go up to people and start a conversation (it really doesn’t matter what opener you use as long as you have a friendly and outgoing attitude), give high fives etc., it looks like you know a lot of people (but you actually don’t). You even don’t have to talk for hours, it’s more about the number of people you seem to know and the vibe between you and them.

A guy who’s able to do that is obvioulsy a social person, and his social status is by far higher than the one’s who’s standing alone in a corner with a beer in front of his chest. And women women are highly attracted to social status. Here’s an small story to illustrate this point:

Once I was working at a fashion fair -our team consisted of six girls and two guys (me and a really good-looking guy). We didn’t know each other and they were no signs of attraction between me and the girls at the beginning…

By the way, this reminds me of Mystery saying something like “for a girl, a new guy – no matter how he looks – is always a 5 (on a 10 point-scale)” on Disk 6 of the Revelation DVDs…And that’s true, as a man you score points by other qualities than looks (for comparison: a hot chick instantly is and will remain a “8” or “9” no matter what).

So, back to the story…We had to work in a big hall, where you could see all each other at any time. And there was a lot of time where nothing happend. So, I simply started chatting with the girls from our group. I went to one girl, asked her something, told her a joke or funny story, then went to the second one aso. I also chatted with the other guy (who was very good looking, but ended up standing alone the whole time), some guys that were working there too and some visitors.

So, here’s what happend after some: the girls came up to me and started talking. There were IOIs (Indicators of Interest) en masse. Keep in mind: at the beginning not a single girl was interested. It was really amazing, at the end of the day I had number closed four girls from that group (the other two weren’t that good looking actually). This was probably the first time I truly realized the power of “social proof”.

The “Strawberry Fields Routine” is designed for physical escalation. You should use it only when you have developed sufficient rapport with the girl. It’s good routine for transition from comfort to sex. There are only three questions:

1) “Imagine that you are now standing at the gates of a strawberry field. You are alone. There are tasty, ripe strawberries in the field. How high are the gates surrounding the field?” (This indicates how easy or hard the girl is to give sex)

2) “Imagine you’re now inside the strawberry field. How many strawberries do you pick and eat?” (This indicates the number of sex partners she desires)

3) “After you finish eating the strawberries, you realize that you have been observed by the farmer from afar. How do you feel about him?” (This indicates how she feels about her partner after sex)