The Pick-Up Diary

If you want to approach a woman you need to know what to say. Most men are so dazzled by the beauty of a hot woman that they simply don’t know how to start a conversation with her. They start thinking what to say and moments later the girl is gone. If this happens again and again, it can be very frustrating…But there is a solution to this problem:

Use openers. Openers are conversation starters which you memorize before the approach. This way you don’t have to deal with the common problem of not knowing what to say in such a situation. Forget about pickup lines. They are funny but not really appropriate to start a conversation with a woman. So, without further chitchat, here are the

Top 10 Conversation Openers:

1) Hey guys, I have a quick question for you – who lies more, men or women? Me and my buddy are arguing about it all day…

2) Hey guys, let me get your take on this – is kissing cheating? My buddy says it’s not…

3) My friend has this cute little Labrador puppy and he’s searching for a name. Do you have an idea?

4) My sister wants a tattoo. But she’s only 17. Is it ok? What do you think?

5) Hey guys, let me get your take on this. What’s Brad Pitt’s best movie? Me and my buddy are arguing about it all day…

6) I’m searching for a birthday present for a friend. She’s the same age as you. Do you have an idea? I was thinking about a perfume…

7) Hey, I need a quick opinion on something. I want to have my hair dyed blond (/black). Do you think it fits me?

8 ) Hey, I need a quick opinion on something. It’s really important…Do you floss before or after you brush?

9) Hey guys, help me settle a quick debate. If you were Brad Pitt who would you choose: Jennifer Aniston or Angelina Jolie? Me and my buddy…

10) Hey guys, let me get your take on this. Me and my buddy are not sure – why do so many girls kiss each other in the club?

Of course you can develop your own opener. Just think of things you are curious about and are also interesting to other people.

Never open with “excuse me” or “I’m sorry” as it makes you sound insecure and lowers your status. As a self-confident man you don’t need to apologize for a question or statement. Also, everybody says this and you definitely don’t want to be like everybody, don’t you? Confidence is a key factor in a conversation with a woman as all women are attracted to confident guys. The reason is that it demonstrates a high status.

If you approach a group of people, make sure you engage all the members – even the guys. Otherwise they will haul off their friend from you.

P.S. Learn How to Get Your Ex Back NOW!

Relationship management is a crucial topic to improve your long-term success with women – unless all you want out of your relationships with women is drama and one night stands.

Relationship management encompasses everything you do after you sleep with someone, but, like many phases earlier in the model, your success is dependent on the groundwork you’d laid earlier. Just as what you did in comfort influences your chances in seduction, what you did in qualification, comfort, and seduction influence what will be possible in relationship management.

And a lot is possible. Anything from a long-term committed relationship to dating multiple women to friends with benefits; it’s all possible if you have the skills and know what to do. Much of what is regarded today as obvious was once highly controversial before I came along. For example:

-You literally never have to lie to get what you want, even if you want to date more than one woman at a time.

-99% of all relationships fall into six major categories. Which pattern your relationship falls into determines where you can go with it.

-Relationship management begins before you even sleep with her the first time.

You have many relationships in your life. You have a professional relationship with your boss, you have a fraternal relationship with your brother, and you probably have a dating or a “friends with benefits” relationship with at least one woman in your life.

So, when we talk about relationships and relationship management, we are assuming that you and a woman are boyfriend-girlfriend. Relationship management refers to the frame in which you and a woman are interacting.

Relationship management begins well before you sleep with her, but most of the important work comes after. Commonly, men only start thinking about relationship management after sex is over: “I slept with her; what do I do now?” It’s a rookie mistake to leave it so long, because a little bit of work to set the frame during comfort goes a long way afterward. But we’ll cover this later.

For now, let’s start by looking at some of the basic relationship types:

Traditional: One boy, one girl, no one dates anyone else.

Traditional Plus: Like traditional, but sometimes you involve other people in your sex life (not your emotional life). Usually this is when both you and her enjoy threesomes with other women.

Open: Your primary emotional commitment is to each other, but you are both free to date other people. Open relationships vary in intensity: some are much like Traditional Plus relationships while others are far more casual.

Multiple: You have a strong commitment to each other, but nothing theoretically limits what you can do with others.

Dating / Undefined: The rules of what you’re doing and where you’re going are unclear, but there is no explicit commitment. Often early in your relationship and usually the case before you sleep together.

Friends with Benefits: No significant emotional commitment. Relationship is primarily sexual.

As you can probably see, these relationship types are ranked in decreasing order of commitment. Drilling down, we see that there are pretty clear distinctions between the types, in which you are #1 to each other, the middle two, in which this may be more ambiguous, and the lower two, in which there should be no expectations at all. For simplicity’s sake, we will call these three groups High Commitment, Medium Commitment, and Low Commitment.

What you seek is a matter of preference. There is nothing inherently superior about one relationship goal over another. It depends on your desires, her desires, where you are in your life, and all kinds of other factors.

That being said, many of you are going to skip straight to the Multiple Relationships section. That’s fine if that’s what you truly want. But pause for a second and truly consider things. Don’t just want something because it feels socially impressive or some of the top Pickup Artists in the world want it. It’s a lot more work than it seems. Many of the top names in the “Seduction Community” have never pulled this off successfully, despite their marketing propaganda.

Whatever your relationship goals, there are some key points to keep in mind:

The type of relationship you have with a woman can and usually will change over time. In general, it’s easiest to move within a given Commitment level (from “Multiple” to “Open” Relationship or from “Dating/Undefined” to “Friends with Benefits” for example). Moving between Commitment levels is much harder. You can sometimes move up, but rarely down. Moving down usually requires a breakup first, and a period of no relationship. After that, you can try to re-establish a relationship, but often all you will be able to get is Friends with Benefits. This happens between ex-boyfriends and ex-girlfriends more than many people think.

While you can get away with trying to move to your desired relationship type after you’ve already had sex with her, this compromises your effectiveness in a couple of ways. For one thing, if she gets the sense that you don’t have much of an idea about what it is that you want, this could turn her off and you’ll never get to sex in the first place. In addition, you will be far more effective at bringing her to your desired relationship type if you are able to implicitly set the right expectations in advance. It’s not like she won’t think about it just because you’re not giving her anything to go on. She’ll think about it anyway, and she’ll let her conclusions be driven by her own assumptions and preferences. These will be a lot harder to change later.

It’s a cliche, but communication is key to a relationship. It’s not enough to act like you’re in a specific kind of relationship with someone; it must be communicated and agreed on by both of you, whether explicitly or implicitly. Again, playing the “ambiguity game” won’t help you much. Women want to know what’s going on. If you don’t make an effort to communicate this somehow, even indirectly, she’ll try to interpret (or end up misinterpreting) what you do communicate and you may well end up with differing ideas about where your relationship is going. Do I need to tell you that this is a bad idea?

P.S. Learn How to Get Your Ex Back NOW!

You see an attractive woman. You don’t know her. You have no “excuse” to talk to her. Can you walk up to her and start a conversation – the kind of conversation that’s going to lead to attraction and more?

This is a skill any man can master. And one no man can afford to ignore – if you can’t comfortably talk to strangers, you’ve excluded 99.9% of the women whose path you’re going to cross in life.

So if you’re not approaching SUCCESSFULLY and CONSISTENTLY, take a look at this list. Print it out and keep it with you. Master these and your life WILL change.

1. Do “warm up sets” before you get to the bar/club/party/park. Somewhere nearby, do a few approaches that “don’t count” until you’re in a talkative, social state of mind. The world’s best pick up artists do this.

2. Be “social” not a “shark.” The guy who walks into a bar, circles around a few times, and then gets the courage to approach women one by one is going home alone. Women KNOW this type. Talk socially to everyone and have fun – you’re not a starving hunter desperate for a meal.

3. Smile. That one’s easy.

4. Have a couple of “go-to” openers – things you can say to start a conversation that you KNOW will work. You don’t need 50, 500, or 5000. 3 or 4 is just fine. Pick a couple you like…

5. Approach right away. Once she notices you looking (she will — women have eyes in the back of their head), you’re either going to be “confident” or “creepy,” so be confident and approach. More advanced guys can play the eye contact game, but if you’re having trouble successfully starting a conversation 99% of the time, keep it simple.

6. Use relaxed, confident body language. Get your wingman to watch you and critique.

7. It doesn’t matter who she is with. Attractive women rarely do things alone. So get used to the idea that you’re going to have to meet the people she is with at the same time as you meet her. (Day Game is sometimes an exception to this). Whether her friends are male or female, approach anyway. If she’s off-limits, they’ll tell you. We don’t have space to go into this in detail here, but women who have guys in their group are more likely to have a same-night encounter anyway.

8. Eye contact. There’s another easy one. Split it equally among everyone in her group.

9. Project your voice. Put your hand on your chest, just below your pectorals. Experiment with your voice until you can feel vibrations in your hand. That’s the way you want to talk. Be too loud rather than too quiet.

10. Have something to say – you’re going to have to do 90% of the talking at first. Don’t keep talking about whatever your opener was about. When she starts breaking into the conversation, asking your name, where you’re from, what you do for a living – that’s when you know she’s attracted. Content provided by Savoy from Love Systems.

P.S. Learn How to Get Your Ex Back NOW!

Before you go out

1. The “Game” begins as soon as you leave the house. Women notice you before you approach them. They should always see you having fun, being social, and looking good. (Going out with fun people/good wingmen and to places you like helps with this.)

2. Dress in a way that is fashionable and expresses your identity. Most women see fashion as self-expression. How do you want her to see you? Dress that way. You can’t avoid this – if you dress to blend in, she’ll just think of you as the kind of guy who wants to blend in. There are some great tips and a how-to guide with before and after pictures in the Magic Bullets Handbook.

You see a beautiful woman…

3. Move your feet. If you get the eyes-feet reflex going (i.e., see a hot girl, start walking over to the hot girl), everything else will – eventually – take care of itself. Get this down until it’s automatic. The longer you delay an approach, the harder it will be. Don’t skip this.

4. Memorize five good openers (opening lines) so you always have one ready to go. If you don’t have this, you’ll often stumble on the beginning of the conversation or even talk yourself out of approaching in the first place. If you don’t have a set of good “go-to” openers that you know work.

The first few seconds…

5. Body language – this is a massive topic and great body language can almost pick up a girl all by itself. Fundamentals for the first few minutes include eye contact, shoulders back and relaxed, hands calm and not in your pockets, standing up straight (don’t fidget), head straight (not tilted). Stand like you would if you owned the world.

6. Speak up! Most men speak too softly when approaching women. Especially at bars and clubs, she must hear you clearly the first time and it must cut across other conversations, the music, etc. Also, use your “chest voice” (Google it) and not your “head voice.”

7. Don’t “milk” the opener. Whatever you said when you came over to talk to her, switch off that topic after a minute. That’s crucial. You want her to see you as an attractive, interesting man, not as “the guy I talked to about such-and-such.”

Getting into the conversation…

8. Be FUN. Don’t be too serious or take yourself or the conversation too seriously. If you look like you’re having fun and enjoying yourself, she will have fun too. Fun is contagious…

9. … but don’t be a dancing monkey. You’re not trying to become her personal clown or court jester. Have fun and be fun, but don’t try to entertain.

10. Some things that are great for attraction and are also fun include storytelling, teasing, and role plays. It’s okay if you prefer one or two of these – each of these techniques has its own skill set. Go with what works for you.

11. Avoid “interviews.” Don’t ask her too many questions. A question or two shows some interest in who she is as a person, but more than that is what every guy does; it’s boring and a turnoff. It’s also a waste – asking her a question about herself does nothing to attract her or let her get to know your good qualities. Instead, make statements. E.g., instead of asking where she’s from, make a guess. Or tell her where you’re from and she’ll do the same.

12. Similarly, don’t play tourist in her life. So you find out she’s a stewardess/porn star/nuclear scientist and you’re curious to know more. Save it. If she’s attracted to you, you’ll have all the time in the world to ask whatever you want.

13. NEVER leave a conversation because you “run out of things to say.” Force yourself to stay. Your brain will learn, if it is forced to, how to improvise. Or use one of the hundreds of proven “things to say” (called routines) in the Routines Manual. Be strict with yourself on this.

Making attraction STICK

Some guys think of attraction as something that takes a long time but once you got it, it’s permanent. That’s doubly wrong. Women feel attracted to men all the time, and it doesn’t take long – within minutes of beginning a conversation. But if you don’t do anything to solidify or lock in that attraction, it goes away as quickly as it came.

14. Qualification is the best way to keep her attracted. By making her work a bit for you and by leading the conversation to a place where you and her admit that you are interested in each other, you’re not some fleeting guy… you’re a guy she needs more of.

15. Phone numbers are not attraction. Getting a phone number does not mean she is attracted to you. Getting a phone number before she is attracted to you is next to useless.

P.S. Learn How to Get Your Ex Back NOW!

If you ever break any of these 15, print out the list, carry it in your wallet, and review them until they are instinctive and you don’t even need to think about them anymore. Content provided by Savoy from Love Systems.

For many guys the kiss seems like the first make or break  it moment when you know if a woman is actually sexually attracted to you. Therefore this moment gets built up into a challenging obstacle that becomes impossible to defeat in the mind and therefore in reality.

A woman is probably not going to kiss you if she won’t move to isolation with you. A woman is probably not going to kiss you if she hasn’t shown you even one IOI (Indicator of Interest). A woman is definitely not going to kiss you if you don’t approach her.

But let’s examine this from another angle. A woman is more likely going to kiss you if you approach her. A woman is more likely going to kiss you if she shows you IOIs. A woman

is very likely going to kiss you if she goes into isolation with you.

Let’s imagine you’ve done everything right. You’ve approached a woman, you’ve been getting IOIs from her, and she moved into isolation with you. Or alternatively you are both now out on a Day 2 (that’s a date to the uninitiated).

The next thing you’re going to be working towards is a kiss close. Because if a woman has done all these things with you then WAKE UP! She wants to kiss you. And GUESS WHAT it’s

your job to KISS HER.

That’s right! You’re the man and that’s your role. You must lead her. If you don’t lead she can’t follow. But if you do lead she’ll more than likely follow and respect you for it, because all women are looking for REAL MEN.

So you know your duty and now all you need to do is perform it. And you will do so in the following manner.

1. ALWAYS USE KINO ESCALATION

There’s a natural order to turning a woman on. They don’t prefer for you to dive straight at their lips for the first kiss. Instead they like a little teasing. They like a little anticipation. They like a little rising action. And that’s your Kino Escalation.

Kino is just a short way of saying playful touching, and not necessarily sexually touching, but the kind of touching that comes before sexual touching.

There’s easy ways to insert kino into your interaction with a woman before you kiss. Here’s a short but not complete list of examples:

-When she makes a sarcastic joke or remark nudge her in the arm with your fist or shoulder lightly and smile.

-Insert kino into routines like The Ring Finger Routine or Palm Reading and touch a woman’s hand lightly with your fingers as you run routines like these.

-Play fun games like thumb wrestling, showing each other secret hand shakes, or high-fiving each other.

-Use Kino to lead her when it’s applicable. For example lead her through crowds at bars and clubs by putting out your hand for her hand and guiding her.

-Do push-pull funny things like tell her she has huge hands and showing her by sizing your hands against hers.

-And of course there are a thousand other ways.

2. USE A KISS CLOSE to SEAL THE DEAL

Yes, I’ve heard it before, “I don’t want to use a kiss close they feel fake.” Well, that’s fine as long as you’re consistently having no trouble kissing women. But if you can’t bridge that gap, you NEED to USE a KISS CLOSE.

A Kiss Close is the device that helps you seal that deal because it gets you right up to the threshold and almost pushes you into the kiss, like a helpful skydiver instructor pushing you out the plane. Once the words or actions of a Kiss Close come out of your mouth you’ve displayed your intentions. You are committed to the kiss.

Now that you know the “why” here’s the “how.” But first a word of caution. A Kiss Close is never begging or asking. You never say “Can I kiss you?” or “Please, kiss me.” This is not a Kiss Close. Observe, these following examples and use them or create your own

along the same principles.

I. Mystery’s Kiss Close

At the moment you feel like there’s a lull in the conversation because the woman might want something more or when she meets your gaze you say the following.

You: “Do you want to kiss me?”

Her: “I don’t know.”

You: “Let’s find out.”

Then move in for the kiss :)

Of course, she could say two other things “No” or “Yes” and here’s how those play out. If she says “Yes” then you kiss immediately.

If she says “No” then you say the following:

You: “Hey I didn’t say you could. It just looked like you had something on your mind.”

II. Style’s Evolution Phase Shift

If you’ve read “The Game” then you already know this kiss close.

It’s brilliant because it incorporates kino escalation into the close. Here it is:

Tell her that she smells good and ask what she’s wearing. Lean in, brush her hair aside, sniff her slowly, moving up from the shoulder to the ear. “Mmmm, that smells good. People don’t pay enough attention to smell. But you’ll notice how animals, before they mate, will always smell each other. Evolution has hard-wired us to respond to certain things. You are wired to respond when someone smells you.”

“It’s like when someone pulls the back of your hair. You’ll notice how lions, when they mate, always bite and tug at the end of each other’s mane, right here.” Point to the back of your head then run your hand up the back of her neck and grab a fistful of hair at the roots and

pull it, downwards. She says “Mmmm…” And I say “see.”

Next say “No one knows this, but the most sensitive places on the body are places that are usually hidden from contact with the air, like the back of the elbow (touching it) and knee (touching it). Any place where your body bends, twists, or folds, there are millions of

sensitive little nerve endings that release endorphins. Take her arm, bend it a little, and erotically bite the area on the opposite side of the elbow (that crease where it bends). Ask “Does that feel good?”

[Note for the less experienced: If you don’t know how to erotically bite a girl, learn before you do this. You want to take a big chunk of skin, not a little pinch and slowly and firmly slide your teeth together until they meet and release the skin. You may want to practice on your own elbow first.]

Now you say, “But do you know what the best thing in the world is? A bite…right…here.” And point to the side of your neck. Then expose your neck and say, “Bite me right here” as if you expect her to. Fifty percent of the time she will. If she doesn’t, just turn away calmly (punish), wait a few seconds, and then turn back and repeat, “Bite me right here.” Usually she will.

Half the time, her bite will be lame. If so, correct her and say, “That’s not how you bite. Come here.” Then give her a good bite on the neck and instruct her to “try again.”

Now look her in the eye, smile mischievously/approvingly, and say, very slowly, “Not bad.” Then glance down at her mouth, back up at her eyes, and kiss!

Here’s the condensed version, write it down and take it into the field with you: smell, grab hair, touch elbow, touch back of knee, bite elbow, bite my neck, bite her neck, triangular gazing, kiss.

Mystery is BACK!

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As men we might go out on the date-hunt alone. But women, especially women of quality, are rarely found out at clubs and bars socializing alone. They travel in wing-woman packs, or mixed groups of men and women protecting each other from slime-balls, drunken idiots, and boring AFCs (average frustrated chumps).

But you are different because you recognize this fact and you’re  going to not only overcome it but use it to your advantage.

If you opened, demonstrated value (showed you’re interesting and attractive) and disqualified yourself from being the “next guy” to heighten attraction in your target,  you should be receiving “Indicators of Interest” (IOIs) from the woman in set that is your target. This concept is as easy as it sounds. An IOI is something a woman does (maybe even subconsciously) to show you that she’s interested in you as more than just a friend.

Here’s a small list of IOIs:

1. She makes prolonged eye contact with you.

2. She touches you in a playful. A tap on the arm, friendly punch to the shoulder or joking hip check.

3. She fixes her hair or other aspects of her appearance in your presence.

4. She tries to insert herself into the conversation you’re having with other people in the set or if the conversation with you dies she re-starts it.

5. She’s willing to do simple things you ask her to do: “Here hold this cup.” or “Switch places with me, you stand here.”

6. She laughs at your jokes even when no one else does.

7. She doesn’t want you to leave.

The key with IOIs is to notice them and to act accordingly. What does that mean exactly you ask? Well, if a woman is showing you she’s attracted to you then you can start escalating things to the next level chief. Doesn’t that sound like fun?

The rule of thumb is to notice 3-4 IOIs then to begin to work on escalation, namely isolating the target to build comfort. So, it may take you some time to get out of your head about saying and performing your Openers, DHVs, and DQs for you to also be able to keep track of IOIs but eventually this is the point to sarging often. That’s why PUAs like to run the same material over and over again – because it allows them to be able to focus on other things like counting IOIs. Try it for yourself.

How to Isolate

Let’s say you notice those IOIs your next step is to try to get some alone time with her.

Here’s where the group dynamic comes into play. It’s tough to get awoman away from her friends. It’s tough because her friends are her safety net and it’s there job to keep her safe. But provided you did everything right you should have not only been charming your special lady but also the group so you’ve got that going for you.

But you still need to follow a few rules to keep her super team of friends from worrying, so here’s how it goes:

You notice 3-4 IOIs from the target and you know you’ve achieved attraction to you. Now address the group say:

“Even though she’s trouble (feisty, a mess, etc., insert an adjective here that calls back a DQ), there’s something about your friend I find interesting. You guys mind if I talk to her alone for just a few minutes right over there?” (point to a spot near the group but far enough that you’re out of earshot).

Now, that sentence you just read doesn’t get said to a group of women or any group often. It’s totally alpha and confident to ask the group for this and they’ll respect it. Unless there’s a really drunk AMOG or a super tough wing-woman that loathes you the group usually always just nods and says “Sure, go ahead!”

You can’t prepare yourself for all contingencies so let’s just say the situation goes smooth and no one objects which is 9 times out of ten. The target will have heard what you said so at this point look her in the eye and say “Let’s talk for a minute over there before I go.” Then put your arm out suggestively so that she takes it.

Walk with the target over to your isolation spot – you’re now in isolation.

Why and How to Build Comfort

You build comfort because meeting and dating men is a scary prospect for a  woman. Think about all the psycho dudes she’s met in her life and the guys that have just tried to get in her pants. It’s no wonder she has her defenses up. You need to earn her trust and show her that you aren’t crazy and that you’re interested in more than just her body. This is the key to her really wanting to give you her number and her answering when you call it a few days later.

That’s the why and here’s the how. The Cube is a great routine to use in comfort building because it’s a good way to get to know someone on a deeper level. Feel free to run The Cube as your Isolation Routine.

In addition to running routines a good option in the comfort building phase is to listen. You already have this girl interested in you so now you need to get to know her. Ask her broad open ended questions: “What are your passions? What are you all about? You seem different from these other women in this place, what makes you special?” I think you get the idea. If she starts talking and doesn’t stop that’s a great sign. Your job now is to listen intently and look into her eyes.

P.S. Learn How to Get Your Ex Back NOW!

What’s the fastest and most effective way to get good with girls?

Infield training? For sure, but without theory?

Infield training and seminars? Almost there…

Infield training, seminars AND learning from the best PUAs in the world?

You name it!

The guys from Love Systems are hosting the biggest dating conference – the Super Conference.

All the best pickup artist and dating coaches gather in Las Vegas (October 15-17 2010) in this one-of-a-kind event. You get the chance to immerse yourself to become the guy all women desire in just three days. It is taking place next month and you definitely do not want to miss this. To get an idea what you can expect, check out the video below:

Super Conference

There are not many seats left, so you better hurry up before they sell out. Click here to claim your ticket.

Pick-Up Starts at 4:23!

P.S. If you like day game, this is a must: How to Pick Up a Girl.

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ABC’s Nightline show infiltrated Love Systems’ annual Super Conference to see if the dating tips and techniques actually work. There is cutting edge hidden footage of dating coaches picking up women and breaking down how it all happened. Plus how you can do it yourself.

Here’s the link for the video:

Love Systems Conference

Unfortunately the TV crew escorted out of the seminar room at one point, but because the attendees were about to see how one of the coaches took a girl home in under 5 minutes and broke it down how he did it. All the teachings of the company are based on the founder’s book called Magic Bullets. Grab your copy here.