The Pick-Up Diary

It’s a fact: Most single men are unhappy. But there are also happy guys out there – those who meet women often and often have sex with different women. And every one can become such a guy, because fortunately the ability to attract women doesn’t depend on your looks, job, income or background.

So, what are the secrets those lucky guys know about? How can you attract more women?

Secret #1: Be social.

The idea behind it is that the more social you are, the more people you meet. The more people you meet, the higher the chance you meet women and will have sex with them. Spending all day in the gym may improve your looks, but it won’t get you more women. Besides your social skills will get better every time you communicate with different people and you will do better next time you meet a beautiful girl. More important, one of the things women look for in a man is social status. If you are a person who talks with many different people (girls and guys) on parties and so on, your social status is high and women will automatically feel attracted to you. If you stand alone in a corner with a beer in your hand the whole evening and watch all the other people having fun, your social status is as low as it can be. So, go out regularly and interact with different people. Get to know people. Try to make a habit of it. If you don’t know what to say, learn some openers like “Hi guys! I have a quick question for you – who lies more, men or women?” aso. Remember, nothing impresses a woman more than social status, the fact that other people (not only girls) like you, that you are popular (= social proof). Smile and laugh a lot, it will have a positive effect on the people you’re talking to and it demonstrates confidence.

Secret #2: Be the Alpha Guy.

Women love dominant guys. Actually, dominance and self-confidence are the top qualities women look for in a man. And as about 90 % of the success of your approach depends on your body language, your tone and timing, you have to master those areas first. Only a strong and coherent body language can demonstrate confidence. Women are attracted to confidence as it indicates a high status. The alpha guy is a type of man who can demonstrate that he is successful and has women in his life. He is not needy like the nice guys women only rip off. The alpha guy always sets the tone, never looks for approval and always has a plan where to go and what to do. He never asks the woman “What would you like to do?” Don’t be fooled, most women don’t want a man who’s asking them all the time on their wishes. They want a strong man who knows what he wants, tells them want they need – a leader who will take them for a ride. The alpha guy always has his own opinion on everything and never shows he’s jealous.

Secret #3: Be interesting.

To quote the famous pickup artist Mystery: “In order to get a woman interested in you, you have to be interesting.” Knowing interesting facts makes you interesting. But it’s not enough, you have to develop a unique personality, your own point of view on anything. The reason for that is, it makes you stand out from the last 10 or even 100 guys the girl you’re talking to hooked up with. Being interesting also means that you can demonstrate (a special) value – something not everyone can do. This doesn’t mean that you have to play a greasy song on the guitar (but do so if you can). Read up on palm reading, dream interpretation or psycho tests and use it on your next date. Women love all kinds of tests and actually, you are interesting if you know about that stuff.

If you want to meet new girls, you need to know where to go. Most guys instantly think of clubs and bars. But actually, these places are not that great to meet girls.

Here’s the reason: In clubs girls get hit on all the time (with stuff like “Can I buy you a drink?” or “Are you often here?”) as most guys think it’s the only place where it’s okay to approach girls (and mostly it’s also the only place they have the guts to do it).

So, by and by the girls get pissed off and start acting bitchy in those places (the so-called “bitch shield” is an automatic mechanism to protect yourself from all the horny guys).

Besides, most clubs are too noisy, overcrowded and the cool chill-out places where you can build comfort or make out with a girl are more often than not taken.

Of course, there are also cafés, but if you’re searching for places where women are not attuned to be approached, check out the my list of the Top 5 Places where women behave naturally:

1) Bookstore. It’s a fact: Most customers here are women. Find a nice girl and get a book recommendation.

2) Grocery. Fruit and veg section. Women are into balanced diet. Start a conversation.

3) Drugstore. Same story as in #1 here. Small downside: Most women are in a hurry.

4) Clothing store. Women’s section. Mindframe: You’re looking for a present for a friend. Just ask, women love all kind of fashion questions.

5) Perfumery. Many women here, unfortunately also some overly committed shop assistants.

The cool thing about these places: Women act much more naturally here as only few guys approach them at these places.

P.S. The nail salon, the jewel store and the library are also places where women are among each other. For more places check out Paul Janka’s Attraction Formula (page 15-18) and Savoy’s Magic Bullets (Chapter 13) – both outstanding books that I highly recommend.

A lot of guys who want to get better with women ask themselves where to start.

First of all, you don’t need to read all the books from all the well-known pickup artist like Mystery, Style aso. Actually, it can be even counterproductive as after reading one you get so exited that you want even more information and want to read all the sutff avaible – forgetting that reading alone won’t change your situation. You need pratice – in field.

Here is what you can do today:

go to a place where you can find a lot of people (a mall, a store, a train station aso.) and simply say “Hi!” (with a friendly smile) to every woman who passes you by. That’s it!

Don’t think about what might happen or how silly it sounds. Just do it! It will help reducing your fear of appoach tremendesly.

We can verbally tell someone that we are attracted to the other person, but a majority of the time it is being told through our body language. That is also the most reliable way of telling if a woman is attracted to you. Words can be deceived, but the body never lies (that’s why we have lie detector tests).

Not every girl will exhibit the same body language signs to show that she is attracted to you, but here are 3 body language signs to look out for. If you see her doing any of these, you can tell that she is attracted to you.

1. Hair touching
This is a classic. It has evolutionary merits, but all you need to know is that if she is playing with her hair while you’re talking to her, she is attracted to you.

2. Interlocking Fingers
Whenever you hold a woman’s hand, is she interlacing her fingers with yours or not? Or if you give her a high five and you hold your hand up, does she interlace her fingers with yours? These are simple physical tests you can do to test if she is attracted to you. If she interlocks her fingers with yours, she is definitely attracted.

3. Licking Her Lips
How do you know when a woman is ready to be kissed? Pay close attention to a her lips. Women will lick their lips, apply lipstick, or slightly pout their lips when they are ready to be kissed. These are subconscious invitations for you to make a move!

Reading body language the right way is really important when it comes to attracting women. Read them wrong and she will reject you. Read them correctly and your dating life will be turned upside down.

What is subtext?

For acting, subtext is the underlying meaning behind spoken words as interpreted by an actor. What does that mean? Basically you’re adding additional meaning to your spoken words by the way you say them. Let’s say you have the following (cheesy) script for a scene to act in:

John and Mary are alone in the bedroom. Mary is upset and John is comforting her.

“John: Mary, everything is going to be ok, I just want you to know that I love you.”

Now you’re  going to play John in this scene there is a lot of information you’re going to need in order to apply the proper subtext to your dialogue. Things like:

What is the relationship between John and Mary?
If they are siblings then the line would be spoken much differently than if they were lovers.

– What happened just before?
– What if this scene took place right after they had sex?
– How would you reflect that in the above line of dialogue?

This is all information that can be implied with the proper subtext.

So, what does this have to do with game? Everything!

Because – and you probably have heard this a lot – it doesn’t matter WHAT you say, it’s HOW you say it. Women are MASTERS at subtext, they know that there is loads of information hidden in the way something is said. That’s why women can get so bitchy over seemingly trivial things that guys say; they know what were thinking!

So how do you use subtext effectively? Let’s have an example:

Let’s say you’re in a venue gaming and you see a great set. Now in any given set at the venue, realistically, the subtext of the dialogue you exchange with them is going to be “I’m trying to win you over and make you like me.” A lot of guys subconsciously use this subtext when they open and are often blown out. Why? Because the women read into your subtext and knew exactly what you were doing, this is why you will hear “Is that a line?” often, even if she hadn’t heard it before.

A better way to approach is to use the subtext of your opener. This is how most successful PUAs operate. For instance, Cajun’s opener involves him asking girls if he looks like a drug dealer, so the subtext is simply that it’s bothering his that he look like a drug dealer and he needs their opinion. When he says the opener he puts himself in the mind frame that it JUST happened to him so that his subtext is believable.

Cajun holds the view that the best way to approach is to look at the venue as a stage and look at each set as a scene you can enter into. Instead of using the above mind frames when opening try to use the subtext of a completely made up scenario that makes you exude attractiveness. Enter into the set under the subtext of “I just slept with all of these girls” and I will communicate that to them by the way I speak, not by the words I’m saying. All of your dialogue will remain the same as it normally was.

So what happens? They catch on very quickly and you will create attraction almost instantaneously. Women LOVE guys that they can’t quite figure out, so if you go in acting like you just slept with them then you are basically a social enigma, which is like crack to them.

And this is why you can talk to them about robots for 3 mins and then all of a sudden make out! Subtext is the reason. You don’t always have to use the subtext of “I just slept with these girls”. You can use whatever you want, but this one works very well.

Subtext is one of those things that’s pretty hard to grasp through reading. That’s why Cajun and other Love Systems instructors created the DVD set “Beyond Words” so you can visually see it. In the DVD you can see Cajun teach in more depth other non-verbal techniques to attract women using your body language.

P.S. If you have any doubts about Cajun, check out Cajun picking up some hot girls. It’s a classic by now.

The guys from Love Systems finally did it: The Body Language and Physical Escalation DVD is finished. Here is an interview with Cajun, a great PUA and one of the guys behind the DVD:

What is the Beyond Words DVD Home Study Course about?

Cajun: A lot of guys ask me on the forums and in emails how they can improve their body language so they can better approach and attract women. It’s hard to show it to them because it is something you have to see. A lot of body language is very subtle and that is hard to convey in text. You can read about body language in books but it’s not the same as when you can visually see it.

A couple months ago I flew to London to work with Vercetti, who is a trained Shakespearean actor and fellow Love Systems coach, to make this DVD home study course. We wanted to share our newest and proven methods to attract women using non-verbal communication.

Instead of writing a book, we decided to make a DVD because you can visually learn how to improve your body language. With help of Mr M, Keychain and 5.0 we also made an extra segment on physical escalation. Again, touching and physical escalation (“kino”) can be better taught by using a visual medium.

Why is body language so important?

Cajun: A lot of guys think what you say is the most important thing when it comes to attracting women. That couldn’t be further from the truth. It doesn’t matter what you say, it is how you say it. With the “how” I mean your tone of voice, facial expressions, body language, and what we call “subcommunications” and “subtext”.

In the DVD set we cover all these aspects and explain in depth why your non-verbal communication is much more important than your verbal. Scientific studies have shown that most communication between people is non-verbal. In this clip I tell why non-verbal communication is important (a sneak preview of the DVD).

Can you give one tip that someone can use right now to improve their body language?

Cajun: The simplest thing you can do today is to work on your posture. In the DVD we cover the Alexander technique on how that can improve your posture dramatically. Trained actors use this all the time.

Girls will reject you before you even approach if you have bad posture, because it subcommunicates a lot of bad things about you. This goes especially for guys who have sit behind a computer a lot.

A simple exercise you can do is to do row exercises at the gym and squats. Also, whenever you sit behind your desk, be conscious of your posture. Don’t slouch, sit tall and keep your back erect. If you buy a swiss ball and use that as your chair behind your desk, you will be forced to sit up straight and it will fix your posture that way too.

Anything else you want to share?

Cajun: I’m really excited about the Beyond Words DVD set. Finally I’ve been able to reveal all my body language and subtext secrets that I normally only teach on my workshops and 1on1 sessions. This DVD is one of a kind and you can finally learn how to properly physically escalate (“kino”) and how to use your body language so it becomes easier to meet and attract women.

For more information on Cajun and his Beyond Words DVD Home Study Course, click here.

Don’t forget to check out the other preview clips:

Vercetti on First Impressions
Vercetti on Beer Shield
5.0 on Breaking Contact

A lot of guys are able to start a conversation with a girl – even on the street – but then there is always an awkward moment when you want to ask for her number, but don’t have enough self-confidence to do it or to do it in a “relaxed” way. And she instantly feels it – and starts to feel queasy…

Asking for her number can be difficult – especially talking about a girl you’ve just met on the street! But actually, there is a way to stay connected without asking for her number. Let’s call it the Facebook Method:

1) Go to a girl and ask her opinion on something (for example say that you want to buy a friend a good perfume, but don’t know which one…(Remember: you have to smile when you approach!)

2) Show or tell her that you are impressed with her answer – without overdoing it. If she says “I don’t know” just ask what kind of perfume she uses.

3) Finally, say “thanks” and pretend to roll off…Turn your upper body, but

4) Then, simply turn back and say with a confident voice: “Hey! Are you on facebook? You seem to be an expert on fashion/… Maybe I will contact you for further advice.” Smile.

The reason why you are not asking for her number is that a girl is much more likely to give a guy she has just met her online contact info than her mobile number. There’s no real commitment for her in giving you her online contact information. It’s not such a big deal as giving her number to a stranger who probably only wants to get in her pants. Facebook is a social interaction platform and girls love to check out new guys online. And if she doesn’t like you, she still can ignore you.

This way you can ask a lot of girls and actually get in touch with them without displaying an obvious interest in them. If she says she’s not on facebook, keep cool and ask her about her email address. No matter what she says stay friendly and relaxed as if you’re doing this all the time. Keep in mind: girls often act bitchy to test your reaction (the so called “shit test”).

Keep in mind: Smile and try to talk with a friendly but confident voice. Practice in front of a mirror if you want. Actually, about 80 % of the communication is nonverbal. So, it’s more about how you approach (body language, voice, timing) than what you say.

Even better than a mirror is a video tape of you. Tape yourself on video to see how other people perceive you. It really gives you a reality check. Practice as long as you finally like “this” guy on the tape and your results with girls will skyrocket as you will become much more self-confident. And self-confidence is what girls are really looking for in a guy as it demonstrates a high status.

If you don’t know what to say – how to approach girls on the street – I can definitely recommend Paul Janka’s 6 CD Audio Program – it’s definitely worth it.

After some months of absence – being busy working on different projects overseas – I’m finally back.

In the last months, there has been a lot of tattle about a guy called Paul Janka and his new seduction eBook “Attraction Formula“. I have to admit after watching some videos of this guy and reading some comments in the seduction forums, I bought his book. I was curious. Obviously this guy is good with girls, but he’s quite good looking and shouldn’t have any problems finding women. So what does work for him, doesn’t have to work for everyone…The question was: is there also some interesting stuff, some fresh ideas in his book?

The interesting thing about this “seduction guide” is that’s not about picking up women in clubs and bars, but the street. So it’s a so called “day game” guide. That’s were Janka picked up most of the alleged 173 women he has slept with. Although there is an order in the book, it’s more a collection of thoughts on different aspects.

Some insights are outstanding  – like the Rule of Omission, the Movie Trailer Concept, Women’s Inability to Drive a Conversation, Emotional Kinematics, The Idea of Discipline, How to Spend your Money Towards Getting Laid, Male Pride.

Some are plain-simple and anything but fancy (do it again and again to eliminate the approach anxiety). Also, you will find only few tips on what “exactly” to say approaching in this book (Janka says he doesn’t like canned stuff). For comparison only: In Mystery’s book “Revelation” are countless lines that you can use if you don’t know what to say (but Mystery’s book costs respectable $97).

But the one thing you simply have to love about this guy is his direct and pointed way of writing – you almost can tell he’s a Hardard-educated Physicist. So, in the end, I can recommend this book – there are no groundbreaking ideas, but some insights alone are worth the $19.95.

If you need more info, here’s a good review:

www.bestseductionbooks.com

Starting a conversation with a beautiful woman can be tough. In fact, it scares most of the guys, although no one would admit it. But everyone knows the process: You get nervous, get sweaty palms and start stuttering – if you decide to approach her at all.

However, there are ways to do it right. Ways that work.

1)    Use an Opinion Opener.

An opener is a question or statement you start a conversation with. Thus, an opinion opener is about asking her opinion on something. For example: “Hi! I’m searching for a birthday present for a friend. She’s the same age as you. Do you have an idea? I was thinking about a book…” Or “Hey, do you think wearing too many rings is kind of gay? I want to get some, but I’m not sure…” Let her speak and listen carefully as you can use her answers to keep up the conversation. A good opener will automatically lead to other questions and topics of conversation.

2)    Demonstrate Value.

Impress her with stuff only few people talk about at the beginning of a conversation. For example, if you asked her about the rings and she wears one or some, say that you read in a magazine yesterday that wearing rings on certain fingers says something about one’s personality. On the other hand, if she’s not wearing any rings, you can tell her that the decision not to wear rings says something about her personality. In doing so you demonstrate a higher value as most of the guys use “interview questions” like: “What is your name?”, “Where are you from?”, “What kind of work you do?” Read up on palm reading, (favorite) color meaning, finger length meaning or psycho tests. Women love tests where you tell them something about them they didn’t know. But practice it at home (with a friend) first.

3)     Find Similarities.

This is necessary to build comfort. She has to see herself in you, has to realize that you both have the same feelings. Of course, you need some time to build up comfort, but also a short story like this can be striking: “Hey, you have the same boots like my sister! I was shopping with her and she searched through 10 shoe stores to find them…” Again, let her talk for a while, maybe you will find something you can relate to and build even more comfort.

P.S. Never open with “Excuse me”. As a man of high status (at least that’s what you want to demonstrate, because women are attracted to status) you don’t need to apologize for a simple question or statement. You will find more tips how to start a conversation, how to demonstrate value and build comfort here:

A lot of guys who struggle with girls are highly motivated to improve themselves. But in order to improve yourself, you need to know what to improve. And often people simply don’t know what they are doing wrong, they haven’t identified their “sticking point”:

Maybe you don’t know how to open, maybe you don’t know how to create attraction, maybe you always skip the comfort building-phase. Or maybe you can’t bring yourself to speak to strangers, have some nervous ticks speaking with women, play the funny guy to smooth over your insecurity or your mind goes blank facing a beautiful girl. Maybe you don’t care about grooming and looks. Maybe you endlessly search for the right moment to kiss the girl or don’t use touching (kino) at all and always end up in the friends zone – this list is endless.

So, first you have to identify your problem, your sticking point with women. Here is what you can do to find out where your problem with girls might be:

1) Think about the past situations with women and what went wrong. Try to see the whole situation from her perspective – would you like this guy and would you think this guy has got girls in his life? If the answer is “no” – why? Compare yourself with successful guys – what do they do and you don’t?

2) Ask your friends and try to get an honest answer on how they see you interacting with women. Let them speak, don’t interrupt and don’t search for any excuses. Accept what they say – in most cases they see the right picture and you are the one who doesn’t want to accept the reality. Most guys don’t get over this point because admitting a weakness normally lowers your self-esteem. And nobody likes that. Hence most of the guys never really get better with women. Be the difference: Accept that you have to change things and start working on it.

3) Tape yourself on video to see how other people perceive you. It really gives you a reality check. Practice as long as you finally like “this” guy on the tape and your results with girls will skyrocket as you will become much more self-confident. And self-confidence is what girls are really looking for in a guy as it demonstrates a high status.

4) Get more information on attraction and psychology (internet, book store). You have to be aware of the basic principles of human interaction. But don’t overdo it. You don’t need all the books, two or three are enough at the beginning. The information you get from them is only there to know why something works. But it’s absolutely worthless if YOU don’t use it in the real life. You only get better if you go out and approach girls. The lack of experience with girls is the number one reason why guys don’t get the right results with girls. Here’s how you get the most out of the information you receive: break it apart and try one thing after another. If you read something new, go out and try it (and only it) until you get the right results. It’s not that easy in praxis, but it’s the most effective way to get better – and this is your goal, isn’t it?