The Pick-Up Diary

Tip #1: Make eye contact. It’s much better to start a conversation with an eye contact. Good eye contact is important as it demonstrates self-confidence. A lot of guys are so nervous talking to a girl that they don’t really look into her eyes more than a second. You should be able to tell what color her eyes are. To intensify the eye contact, first look in her left eye, then the right and back again. But don’t overdo it.

Tip #2: Say “Hi” with energy. When you approach a woman, say “Hello” in a flirty way. It will make her think you’re sexier than the average geek who walks up to her and gives her a shy “Hi”.

Tip #3: Shake her hand a bit longer. When you shake her hand, let your hand stay on hers for a bit too long and then brush against her hand as you pull back. Do this while smiling and looking into her eyes sincerely.

Tip #4: Mention her name from time to time. Everyone likes to hear his/her name. So repeat her name slowly from time to time in the conversation.

Tip #5: Lower your volume during the conversation. Speak slowly and lower your volume so she has to lean towards you to listen.

Tip #6: Be Playful. Make fun of her playfully from time to time. Imagine she’s your little sister. Have fun together. Find a funny nickname for her. But again, don’t overdo it.

Tip #7: Be the touchy guy?. Touch her as soon you can during the conversation (while approaching is the best). Touch her on the upper arm, shoulder while you laugh.

Tip #8: Mirror her body language. People tend to like people who move and behave like them. Try to imitate her gestures and signs.

Tip #9: Let her talk and listen. This is probably the most important tip. Women love to talk, to tell someone about their feelings. And they always complain men don’t listen. So be different – learn to listen carefully. Don’t look around while she’s telling a story – of course she does notice when you’re looking at the hot waitress.

Tip #10: Open up. Tell her something intimate about yourself (for example: when was the last time you cried in front of somebody?). Ask her the same question. Talk about her childhood.

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If you want to get better with women, become a social person. The reasons are simple:

1) This way you get to know a lot of people – and a lot of women.

2) You lose your fear talking to women you don’t know.

3) You get better in conversation with people – and women can tell within minutes if not seconds who’s a social person and who’s a nerd.

4) You will become extremely magnetic to women. The reason for this is called “social proof” – a basic psychological principle. The story behind it is that if a lot people are doing something, others tend to believe it must be the right thing to do. That is, if you talk to a lot of people (at a party aso.) – this is what being social means – it boosts your value. You seem like the guy who knows everyone, and everyone seems to know you – except the person who’s watching you, this pretty girl drinking and joking with her friends. Now, she wants to know who that guy is, she is interested in you.

What does “being social mean”? This simply means that on every given event where a lot of people come together, you should interact with different women and man. Get to know people. Try to make a habit of it.

Maybe you say you are not a communicative person and never will be. If you look at yourself like this, you can only lose. A sentence like “I can’t do this” is called a “limiting belief” – something that will automaticly hold you off reaching this special goal (the what you can’t do). Instead try to look at it like a challenge or a game that you are trying to win. Are you really that weak and small that you can’t talk to people you don’t know? Of course you are not. You only don’t want to expose yourself to a territory that is new to you. But it’s important to get out of the comfort zone – otherwise you don’t learn a thing and everything will remain as it is – you being alone.

One of the things women look for in a man is (social) status. Standing alone in a corner with a beer in your hand watching all the other people having fun is the lowest status you can demonstrate.

You think women are too busy talking to someone to notice it? As if! Women have something like a radar for social status. They notice in seconds who?™s the center of attraction on a party (and feel drawn to this person) and who?™s the loser nobody?™s talking to.

So, try to become the center of attraction interacting with people. It?™s not easy, especially if you are not a social person. But it?™s no nuclear science either, that means you can learn it. It’s about what you do instead of what you think that you are. You are not social not because you were born like that but probably because you don’t talk to new people or are alone at work and don’t talk to someone. It’s all a habit. If you talk to new people everyday you will become social.

Maybe you don’t know what to say. How about asking a question that has been on your mind lately? Something like “Hi! I have a quick question for you – do you think being social has to do something with your genes? Me and my buddy have a discussion on this…”.

Or you use something canned like Hi guys! I have a quick question for you – who lies more, men or women? It’s a topic everyone likes to talk about and nobody will shut you down on this one. The tricky thing with this opener (a question or statement you start a conversation with) is that you need to explain why you are asking. So say something like “I read a female magazine (at the dentist) today and they did this study. Me and my buddy are arguing about it all day…”

P.S. Learn How to Get Your Ex Back NOW!

P.S. Learn How to Get Your Ex Back NOW!

Do you want more success with women in 2012? Then you need to check out these 7 simple tips to get the girl in 2012.

1. Meeting women isn’t just for Saturday nights

Bars and clubs are only a small part of the world. Branch out. Do some Day Game. Develop a social circle that generates attractive women for you to meet naturally. Build a lifestyle that puts beautiful women in your path. On the other hand, don?™t try to be one person when you meet women and another person in the rest of your life. If you need to be more social, be more social every day. If you need to be a better storyteller, be a better storyteller every day. And so on.

2. Write down your goals and how you plan to get there

Studies show that people who write down and commit to their goals are over 600% more effective. And don?™t forget to do a small step towards them every day.

3. Learn how to flirt over text/sms

If you date women who are under 40, you need to learn to text/sms. Texting should build attraction, increase sexual tension, qualify her, and let her get to know you better. In other words, everything we used to have to do in person. A phone number alone isnt that valuable, but if you know how to use text conversations to get her dying to see you again? – its money!

4. Schedule your priorities. Prioritize your schedule

Don’t leave what is important to you for if you have any time left at the end of the day/week/month/year/etc. Put what is important to you on your schedule and stick to it. That means some things will have to fall off. That’s okay. It’s much better to choose what you don’t have time for than to let what is urgent keep you away from what is important.

5. Get good wingmen

Good wingmen force each other to go out, make each other do their approaches, and encourage and help each other when they see something wrong. Good wingmen also let you have a lot more success. While you can definitely attract women when you go out alone it’s a lot better if you have a wingman to help you out. And more fun too!

6. Upgrade your fashion and hairstyle

Clothes and hairstyle say so much about you. To a woman, your clothes and hairstyle are a choice – and she wants to know what they say about you. Are you fashionable and cool? Or out of touch and lame? Are you fun and fresh and exciting? Or boring and afraid to be yourself? Do you respect yourself and have attention to detail? Or do just wear whatever? Make 2012 the year you get your “look” SOLVED if they’re not already.

7. Be man enough to get help

Most men aren’t good at this. Women don’t have this problem. They ask for and share advice all the time – and get much more personal than most men. This gives women a social advantage. Redress the balance in your own life – get some advice!

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Next time you?™re in a bar or club, try this routine. Girls simply love it.

You: Hey, are you a good liar?
Her: What?
You: Can you lie? (Turn to her friends) Is she a good liar?
Her friends: Yes! She is a fantastic liar!/ No, she can’t lie.
You: Is that right? Well, let?™s see. You are going to tell me three things. One of them will be a lie. Ok?
Her: Ok.
You: Right…You are going to tell me…a place you have always wanted to visit. A shop you like going to…and….the name of the first guy you slept with, or girl…(gets her laughing/ smiling)
You: So that’s three things, place to visit, shop you like and first guy you slept with. Ok? (all her friends are now looking at her)
Her: Ok.
You: Hold on, take it slow, think about it. You have to be as convincing as you can…

She tells, you try and pick the lie. Then usually someone goes “my turn!” and if they say to you “your turn” you go “are you kidding, I am not playing some silly lie game”, then turn to your wing saying “These people are crazy”. Then go get a drink or something and let them think about what a fun guy you are. You will get IOIs (indicators of interest) en masse.

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This routine is generally used for a 3set, because you use all of them in this routine. It goes as follows:

You: “Hey, let?™s all play a game.” Pick your target (the girl you?™re after) and say:
“Check this out…I’m going to give you the ability to read their minds…”
Target (Girl 1): “Okay…”
Look at Girl 2 and give her a pen.
You: “Pick a number between 1-4. Hold it! Now write it on your hand so you don’t change it.” (The answer is usually 3)
Turn and look at Girl 3 and hand her the pen.
You: “Pick a number between 1-10. Hold it. Now write it on your hand so you don’t change it.” (The answer is usually 7)
Turn to Girl 1 and say:
“Ok, I said I was going to give you the ability to read their minds. I want you to look at both of them and picture those numbers they have in their hands. Look deeply! You should have a faint vision of these numbers.”
Give her the pen.
You: “Now, pick a number between 10-50 and both digits have to be an odd number. Write it in your hand. (It?™s usually 37)
You: “Starting with you (point at Girl 2), show your hand (she’ll show 3). Now it?™s your turn (point to Girl3, and she’ll show 7), and now yours (point to Girl 1 and she’ll reveal 37).

This will either be the feat of all feats, or just a waste of their time. If you DO manage this, they will freak out and love you. If not, just say “Well, it didn’t work ’cause of her” (point to your target = Girl 1) and neg the crap outta her. ;-)

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Here is a simple opener that Neil Strauss aka Style mentions in The Game:

“Hey guys, I want your opinion on something. I have two different colognes on
my wrists, and I want to see which one you smells better.” (Let them smell the cologne. Be cocky and funny, neg the target, etc.)
“The reason is, I have so many colognes from my ex-girlfriends on my shelf, and I want to give some of them away and keep the best ones.”
After she picks one, pull out a pen and make a mark on your wrist, next to five or ten others.
If she asks So what are they?, say This one is hemlock, this one is chloroform?, if not, say it anyway ;)

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You probably know from experience that you can make a lot of mistakes interacting with women. Women are much more sensitive about social dynamics than men. They can figure out how experienced you are with women in minutes – if not in seconds.

The reason is simple: Women have a much higher interaction experience than men because on the one hand they interact much more than men in general (with men and women). On the other hand since they are 13 years old, guys are hitting on them. So the sum of experience women have with men is much higher than the other way round. Men have a lot to catch up on in this area.

What does this mean for you? Simply that the more experiences you make interacting with women, the BETTER you will get (provided that you don’t make the same mistakes again and again). This means you have to practice a lot. But how can you actually attract women?

1) Improve the way you dress.

Looks are NOT the most important part of attracting women, but they are important, because they affect how somebody who doesn’t know you will assess you. People judge by the looks and you have only seconds to demonstrate that you are a man of style. Don’t mess it up with boring sweaters and dirty sneakers.

You don’t have to dress like a gigolo either. If you look like a software engineer, try to loosen your clothes a little bit – add some color to it. Get rid of plaid and Hawaiian shirts. Look for some interesting necklaces, rings or wristbands. Why? Because every woman wants to know what they stand for. You also will stand out from the mass.

2) Become more social.

This simply means that on every given event where a lot of people come together, you should interact with different women and men. Get to know people. Try to make a habit of it.

This might be the most important tip. Why? Because one of the things women look for in a man is (social) status. Standing alone in a corner with a beer in your hand watching all the other people having fun is the lowest status you can demonstrate. You think women are too busy talking to someone to notice it? Think again. Women have something like a radar for social status. They notice in seconds who’s the center of attraction at a party (and feel drawn to this person) and who’s the loser nobody’s talking to.

So, try to become the center of attraction interacting with people. It’s not easy, especially if you are not a social person. But it’s no nuclear science either – you can definitely LEARN it. For example you can come up with: “Hi guys! I have a quick question for you – who lies more, men or women?” It’s a topic everyone likes to talk about and nobody will shut you down on this one. The tricky thing with this “opener” (a question or statement you start a conversation with) is that you need to explain why you are asking. So say something like “I read a female magazine (at the dentist) today and they did this study. Me and my buddy are arguing about it all day…”

If you are a shy person and can’t bring yourself to talk to “strangers”, please consider this: Shyness is not in your genes. It all comes back to a habit. For the most part you are shy because you don’t talk to people! Make the first step, than make the second and the third. And before you can say knife being social will become your new habit.

You don’t want to change yourself? Maybe this will motivate you: If you carry on doing what you’ve always done, you’ll carry on getting what you’ve always got – the same poor outcomes (NO girls, NO fun, NO happiness).

3) Be different.

This sounds like an ad slogan and is nonetheless a key point in attracting women. Try to develop a unique personality, your own point of view on anything. Have concrete goals in life.

Why? Because it makes you interesting, it makes you stand out from the last 10 or even 100 guys the girl you’re talking to hooked up with. It’s a fact: Women like men with (concrete!) goals because this demonstrates a strong, assertive character.

Being different also means that you can demonstrate (a special) value – something not everyone can do. This doesn’t mean that you have to play a greasy song on the guitar (but do so if you can!). For example you can ask her about the last time she laughed with all her heart (say a friend asked you this and you didn’t know what to answer first). Ask her to tell you about the happiest moment of her life or a special moment in her childhood and then tell yours. Try to relate to her thoughts and feelings, but don’t overdo it.

Read up on palm reading, dream interpretation or psycho tests (it’s not that difficult to memorize this stuff as all those “tests” work with given patterns) and use it on your next date. Women love all kinds of tests.

Don’t forget: it’s not only about the content but your presentation as 70-80 % of the communication is non-verbal. Facial expression, body language (posture, gestures) and tonality are extremely important. With that being said, is makes sense to work on your voice (learn to speak more slowly and with a deeper voice), your gestures (try to eliminate nervous movements etc.) and your gaze (practice smiling in from of a mirror). The most effective way to find out what you need to work on is to ask a good friend to videotape you (while approaching someone).

Although it’s a lot of work, it’s a lot of fun too! And you will get better every time you perform those things. So, don’t put it off, start practicing today!

P.S. Did you know that if she touches (or plays with) her hair she’s probably interested in you?

P.S. Learn How to Get Your Ex Back NOW!

It?™s not easy to approach a woman who is working – a waitress for example – because she has seen and heard it all: all the horny guys and their stupid pick-up lines. So she puts on a shield to protect herself. But it?™s important to realize that behind that shield is always a human being. Your goal is to break that shield.

The best way to do this is to get rid of the roles that we assume when we become “waiter/customer”. She must feel that you are a person with feelings, not just a customer

Teasing is a great way to reach a woman and break down her protective shield. For example when she comes to your table and says “Do you guys want to drink something?”, say “Wow, you?™re quite fast. I don?™t even know you yet and you?™re trying to get me drunk.” Try to find out her name if she doesn?™t mention it.

You can also try to tease her that the service is not that great. If she brings you a drink say playfully “This drink doesn?™t have enough ice… the service here is really bad.” Smile, so she understands you?™re just fooling around.

In the further interaction, drop a small joke here and there if you can. Smile and pretend to have a good time. When you?™re done eating/ drinking, say the following (with a confident voice): “Listen, (her name). You and I both know that you get hit on all the time. And I know it gets annoying. But you do seem like a great girl, and I?™d like to see you under some other circumstances where I could hit on you. What do you think?”

Remember: there are no guarantees in pick-up, only trial and error!

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