The Pick-Up Diary

A lot of newbies wonder why they should use canned openers and any kind of routines. They think being spontaneous is all you need. So, why do you need routines at all?

Routines are great training wheels. They allow you to test and refine the delivery of your material so you eventually get it “just right”. Routines clear your mind of the constant question: “OMG what am I going to say next to keep the conversation going?”

They allow you to be actually more present in the moment and tune directly
into the emotional connection between you and the girl. While your mouth keeps blabbering
interesting stuff, almost without an effort of your thinking brain.

Routines literally open your heart to focus on HER and HER reactions. They allow you to flow and vibe and be in complete sync with her emotions, which is all that matters anyway.

Of course, being quick-witted and coming up with original, personal stuff to say
on the fly is the holy grail. But routines are a must for two reasons:

Reason #1: Everyone has an off day or an off moment.

Even the most skilled conversationalist will hit a lull sooner or later. What better way to amp up the energy again than by pulling out a tried and true routine… where the audience reaction is 100% predictable!?

Reason #2: Studying routines makes you think about why they work. They allow you to see the PATTERNS behind social interaction.

P.S. If you need some outstanding, working openers and routines for tones of different situations, get Magic Bullets, the “pickup bible”.

ABC’s Nightline show infiltrated Love Systems’ annual Super Conference to see if the dating tips and techniques actually work. There is cutting edge hidden footage of dating coaches picking up women and breaking down how it all happened. Plus how you can do it yourself.

Here’s the link for the video:

Love Systems Conference

Unfortunately the TV crew escorted out of the seminar room at one point, but because the attendees were about to see how one of the coaches took a girl home in under 5 minutes and broke it down how he did it. All the teachings of the company are based on the founder’s book called Magic Bullets. Grab your copy here.

Improving your dating life can be tough, especially when women reject you on the approach. It’s part of the game. If you are getting striked out after the approach you might be doing something wrong that turns women off. It can be a lot of different things and you might be even unaware of the mistakes you are making. Here are 5 things to watch for that turn women off (and you want to avoid).

1. Pickup Lines

Let’s get one thing clear before you even approach: pickup lines do not work. Whenever you approach a woman with a (cheesy) pickup line, she will shoot you down. By using a pickup line, what you are actually saying to her is that you are someone who doesn’t have any social intuition and you are someone who does not date women like her. Communicating those things automatically raises a red flag in her mind that you are not suitable for her to date you.

It’s even better to just say “Hi I’m Ben. What’s your name?” and go from there. Avoid pickup lines.

On the other hand, there are good conversation starters (or “openers” as some people call them). The goal of a conversation starter is to start a conversation; nothing more, nothing less. Once you have initiated the conversation, you need to engage her into an interesting conversation to build attraction and go from there.

2. Awkwardness

This one is easy: awkwardness. Women avoid awkwardness like men avoid grenades in their vicinity. It’s that bad. Common things that cause awkwardness include: long pauses in conversation and acting goofy in public with her. Awkwardness is one of the kryptonites of attraction. Awkwardness will kill any attraction she might feel for you so avoid it at all costs.

3. Boring

Women love interesting men and excitement. Being boring is on the opposite side of that spectrum and no woman wants to be around a boring guy. The task is simple; avoid being boring. If you can do that, you are already way ahead of most guys.

One common mistake is asking multiple questions in a row. Do not ask multiple questions in a row. That’s a job interview. Keep the conversation “light.” Do not discuss the existence of god or which political affiliation you’re part of. In simple terms: less logic, more emotions. Try to tease her like you would to your little sister or niece, tell some jokes, and share stories.

4. Neediness

Neediness is solely doing something for someone else to get affection or love in return. Being needy shows you have no options when it comes to women. It is conveyed mostly through your actions, but also through your words. Examples of being needy:

-calling or texting multiple times a day

-you are too available

-you try to please her all the time (at your own expense)

Here’s a key insight to female psychology: women like men who are desired by other women. It’s like a shortcut for them to filter out men. If other women like him, there must be something good about him she is not aware of. Showing neediness is the exactly the opposite and will kill any attraction (another one of those kryptonites).

5. Bragging

Bragging about yourself is like screaming “look how insecure I am and I’m trying to impress you.” A rich man doesn’t talk about how rich he is and Hugh Hefner does not talk about many blonds he has slept with. Subtlety is the key to showing off the cool things about you. The more subtle you are about the attractive things of you, the better it comes across to women. They are very good at filling in the blanks and recognizing subtle elements in your stories, outfits, and possessions.

For example, instead of saying “A couple weeks ago I had a girl, who is really beautiful and a model, come over and have diner with me. She made the best pasta ever and it was delicious” you want to be more subtle. A simpler and more subtle version is, “A friend of mine came over to cook for pasta for me and it was the best pasta I have ever had.” The latter is very subtle and conveying that you have other women in your life. Do guys generally come over and cook? No, women do. Women will understand that a woman was there for you to cook. The context is unknown, but she can fill in the blanks that is was possibly a date or maybe even your ex-girlfriend. Who knows, but you conveyed the same info in a shorter and more subtle way.

Avoid all those turn offs and your dating life will be changed up-side down. Sometimes dating does not have to be that difficult when you know what to do AND what not to do. In the book Magic Bullets you will find more details what turns women off, but more importantly what turns them on. Click here to find out more about it.

Attractive women on a daily basis have dozens of men come up to them and validate their beauty with compliments and sometimes gifts. It gets so that women find this boring or

even annoying.

Some women even develop tactics that help them weed through this multitude of boring nice guys just attracted to them for their looks. I mean I can’t blame them because I could

see how all those AFCs would get super boring.

The women get tough and test guys with attitude. In a manner of speaking this is the female way of Disqualifying and Qualifying men. They play the GAME too.

Disqualifying a woman allows you to show her that you aren’t like all the other guys who are just attracted to her for her looks. It lets her work for your attraction. It sets you up as a

PUA to allow her to display something more about herself for you to be attracted to other than her looks.

So now that you understand the concept let’s look at some methods to DQ:

1. Ignoring the target and spending more time speaking to her friends is a good way to start.

2. Disagreeing with a woman’s opinion on an item to show her you won’t cave your ideals to hers just because she’s attractive.

3. Teasing a woman with a playful joke like saying “You don’t get out much do you?” Remember always smile when you tease. Sometimes these types of DQs are called “pebbles.”

4. Letting a woman know that their is something about her that prohibits you from dating her. Such as “You’re a Scorpio? I never date Scorpios…dram, drama, drama.” Remember to

smile.

5. Or simply implying that you are spoken for: “My girlfriend would like your dress.”

When you use a DQ be sure to not wait for your target to react. It’s important that she perceives it as something you just casually say and didn’t over-think or plan out.

If the DQ is more of a tease that could come off as an insult you should always smile. Smiling allows the target to know that you are not fully serious. You’re just flirting…that’s what the smile says.

The 10 Best Disqualifiers (DQs):

1. “You should go back to your friends. I think the kids at the nerd table really miss you.”

2. “I bet you were the type of kid that always got spaghetti sauce all over your face.”

3. “Note to self: Do not date this girl.” (pretend to take a note on your hand)

4. “I bet there are tons of guys waiting to meet you on the Internet.”

5. “I don’t let women like you into my house without a background check first.”

6. “You are so bad at being pretty.”

7. “Check this girl out. She’s amazing, and so bright and funny. Would you believe she’s never had a date?”

8. “Yeah, you’re like the coolest girl I’ve met in this location in the last 2 minutes.”

9. “You are such a dork, it’s really adorable.”

10. “You’re such a nice girl. I really shouldn’t even be talking to you.”

Meeting women in daytime environments is a great alternative for bar and club environments. You strike up a conversation with a girl in a book store, talk for a few minutes, and you leave with a phone number. It really can be that easy. However, there is one mistake that a lot of guys make when they want to try to meet women using “day game.”

One common mistake guys make when it comes meeting and attracting women in daytime environments is that their goal is to get as many phone numbers as possible. While the majority of time you will leave with a phone number, your mindset and goals should not be to collect a bunch of phone numbers. Those are in itself are not worth much. Can you sleep with a phone number? No! The phone number is merely a logistical tool to communicate with a woman. Nothing more.

Also, women give out their phone number a lot. Sometimes even out of politeness knowing that they will never go out the guy. Other times to blow off the guy in a nice way (with a fake number).

Instead, what you want to have is commitments from women to go out on a date with you. As a result of her committing to see you again, you get her phone number. When you are interacting with a woman (from a cold approach), you want to make plans with her right then and there. Think of setting up the date as the “transaction” and the receipt of it is the phone number.

If a woman is not even willing to commit to see you again, you will know two things right away: she is not attracted to you enough and if you do get her phone number she will not go out with you anyway. The opposite is also true. If she is committed to see you again, you know for sure that she is attracted to you and she wants to see you again.

Now that you understand why getting women committed to see you again is important, here is a simple illustration how to use it. As you are hitting it off with a woman, what you want to do figure out is when she is available to go out with you, e.g. for drinks (make sure it is casual). Pick the day she is free to meet up again and then get her phone number. Below is an example:

Guy: So Jennifer, what are your plans the next couple days?

Girl: I have some plans with friends on Wednesday and Friday, not so sure about Thursday.

Guy: Great, let’s meet up for drinks on Thursday night. I know a great place where they serve really good wine. How do you feel about that?

Girl: Yes, sounds like fun.

Guy: Let me get your phone number and I’ll let you know about the time and place.

Girl: Ok my number is …….

It really is that simple. If you get a lot of flakey phone numbers (meaning you’re trying to meet up with a girl through texts and phone calls, but she doesn’t want to), one of the best ways to fix this problem is by first having women committing to see you again before you get her phone number. Try it and see how you many more dates you will be getting.

If you are interested in meeting women outside bars and clubs, you should definitely check out the book called Daytime Dating by Jeremy Soul. The book is about how to properly meet and attract women in daytime environments and this is one of the techniques discussed in the book. There are more step-by-step tips and techniques for picking up women in daytime environments. Check it out here.

In order to make a woman feel attracted to you, you have to flip some switches – sooner or later. Here are the main ones:

1. You must show her that you’re safe. Trust is an important issue for most women. This must be demonstrated. So switch #1: SAFETY and TRUST.

2. You must show her that you have either job, security, motivation, or ambition. In other
words, you must have a life and goals. So switch #2 is demonstrating to her that you have STABILITY and AMBITION. You don’t have to be successful, you just have to show the potential to be successful.

3. You must show her that you’re different than the other guys, that you are not generic or boring, that she can learn something from you or grow with you, that you have a sense of adventure or creativity or spirituality. So switch #3 is showing her that you have something to offer, even if you don’t give it to her in the moment. This is where DHVs (demonstrations of higher value) are useful.

4. You must be the prize of the room. She wants a guy others will envy her for, that she can brag about to her friends.This is where social proof comes in, where story-telling comes in. It’s also where alpha qualities come in, and not supplicating. So switch #4 is demonstrating all of the many qualities of: CONFIDENCE, LEADERSHIP, AUTHORITY, and POPULARITY.

5. It’s a big world and we all feel alone in it, so if you can demonstrate that you UNDERSTAND her and where she comes from, she will feel chemistry. This can largely be done through demonstrating either cultural, mental, emotional, world view, humor, or life/background commonalities. The more obscure and rare a trait that you connect
on, the more chemistry you create. So Switch #5 is demonstrating COMMONALITIES in order to trigger CHEMISTRY.

6. You need an aura of depth and mystery. You must maybe show a vulnerable or wounded side of yourself, you must not give away everything for free, you must be a puzzle she wants to figure out and maybe even have a wound she can heal. Switch #6 then is hooking her with your DEPTH and MYSTERY.

7. You must show her that you are NOT horny, but sexual. This is where social proof comes in too, also demonstrating an understanding of her world (liking her for who SHE is). So switch #7 is demonstrating your own LACK OF DESPERATION while showing her that you recognize something SPECIAL in her that attracts you to her. This is where QUALIFYING is useful, in other words demonstrating that you like her for who she is.

We can verbally tell someone that we are attracted to the other person, but a majority of the time it is being told through our body language. That is also the most reliable way of telling if a woman is attracted to you. Words can be deceived, but the body never lies (that’s why we have lie detector tests).

Not every girl will exhibit the same body language signs to show that she is attracted to you, but here are 3 body language signs to look out for. If you see her doing any of these, you can tell that she is attracted to you.

1. Hair touching
This is a classic. It has evolutionary merits, but all you need to know is that if she is playing with her hair while you’re talking to her, she is attracted to you.

2. Interlocking Fingers
Whenever you hold a woman’s hand, is she interlacing her fingers with yours or not? Or if you give her a high five and you hold your hand up, does she interlace her fingers with yours? These are simple physical tests you can do to test if she is attracted to you. If she interlocks her fingers with yours, she is definitely attracted.

3. Licking Her Lips
How do you know when a woman is ready to be kissed? Pay close attention to a her lips. Women will lick their lips, apply lipstick, or slightly pout their lips when they are ready to be kissed. These are subconscious invitations for you to make a move!

Reading body language the right way is really important when it comes to attracting women. Read them wrong and she will reject you. Read them correctly and your dating life will be turned upside down.

The guys from Love Systems finally did it: The Body Language and Physical Escalation DVD is finished. Here is an interview with Cajun, a great PUA and one of the guys behind the DVD:

What is the Beyond Words DVD Home Study Course about?

Cajun: A lot of guys ask me on the forums and in emails how they can improve their body language so they can better approach and attract women. It’s hard to show it to them because it is something you have to see. A lot of body language is very subtle and that is hard to convey in text. You can read about body language in books but it’s not the same as when you can visually see it.

A couple months ago I flew to London to work with Vercetti, who is a trained Shakespearean actor and fellow Love Systems coach, to make this DVD home study course. We wanted to share our newest and proven methods to attract women using non-verbal communication.

Instead of writing a book, we decided to make a DVD because you can visually learn how to improve your body language. With help of Mr M, Keychain and 5.0 we also made an extra segment on physical escalation. Again, touching and physical escalation (“kino”) can be better taught by using a visual medium.

Why is body language so important?

Cajun: A lot of guys think what you say is the most important thing when it comes to attracting women. That couldn’t be further from the truth. It doesn’t matter what you say, it is how you say it. With the “how” I mean your tone of voice, facial expressions, body language, and what we call “subcommunications” and “subtext”.

In the DVD set we cover all these aspects and explain in depth why your non-verbal communication is much more important than your verbal. Scientific studies have shown that most communication between people is non-verbal. In this clip I tell why non-verbal communication is important (a sneak preview of the DVD).

Can you give one tip that someone can use right now to improve their body language?

Cajun: The simplest thing you can do today is to work on your posture. In the DVD we cover the Alexander technique on how that can improve your posture dramatically. Trained actors use this all the time.

Girls will reject you before you even approach if you have bad posture, because it subcommunicates a lot of bad things about you. This goes especially for guys who have sit behind a computer a lot.

A simple exercise you can do is to do row exercises at the gym and squats. Also, whenever you sit behind your desk, be conscious of your posture. Don’t slouch, sit tall and keep your back erect. If you buy a swiss ball and use that as your chair behind your desk, you will be forced to sit up straight and it will fix your posture that way too.

Anything else you want to share?

Cajun: I’m really excited about the Beyond Words DVD set. Finally I’ve been able to reveal all my body language and subtext secrets that I normally only teach on my workshops and 1on1 sessions. This DVD is one of a kind and you can finally learn how to properly physically escalate (“kino”) and how to use your body language so it becomes easier to meet and attract women.

For more information on Cajun and his Beyond Words DVD Home Study Course, click here.

Don’t forget to check out the other preview clips:

Vercetti on First Impressions
Vercetti on Beer Shield
5.0 on Breaking Contact

If meeting women in the daytime is something you’re interested in then this primer is for you. It contains the basic information on day game – what you need to know to get out there and start meeting people outside of a nightclub environment…

Opening:

Give a direct opener a try: ‘Excuse me, I saw you from over there. And I’d regret it all day if I didn’t come met you. Because you look absolutely gorgeous (extend hand to shake): Hi, I’m …, what’s your name?’
Direct openers like this usually open quite strongly and provide a good platform for you to launch the conversation from. At the very least, it’s nice to say nice things to people – it’ll make you feel good and give her positive emotions too.

There’s nothing wrong with starting a conversation in another style such as indirect, functional, comedic etc. There are lots of examples of these types of openers online and you’ll want to come up with your own as the situation dictates. Here are a few to get you started:

– ‘Hey do you know where the nearest Starbucks is?’
– She’s wearing head/earphones: ‘What are you listening to? I’m bored of my current playlist’ – take her iPod and start teasing/appreciating her playlist.
– She’s in a shop or coffee house, deliver with comedy: ‘I saw you from out there and had to come meet you. I just couldn’t let a pane of glass stand between us and true love.’

A Common Trap With Direct Openers:

Don’t try to solicit a reaction. So many guys get addicted to the big, gushing reactions that you will occasionally get from your direct approaches and ‘look’ for it every time. Instead of being an expression of their personality and core intent, the direct opener becomes a tool to chase a reaction. They deliver it and wait for the big WOW! It’s approval-seeking and not attractive.

Try this frame: Her beauty/vibe/aura moved you to approach. Something in your core just said ‘yes’. So you’re going to go meet her, express your core and see if she’s the kind of girl you might connect with and would like in your life. Self-expression, without the need for approval, mixed with a curious fascination for her as a unique creature.

Transition to Conversation:

After opening, stack and cycle through the following transition material until you find a topic that you’re both interested in and can naturally talk about together. Perhaps you both enjoy traveling or you both like the movies of a certain director.

To that end, here are three content-questions that you can ask to mine for a click topic:

1)What are doing in London/Oslo/Melrose today? (this also allows you to find out how much time you might have to talk. If she’s rushing to meet friends, better go for the number. If she’s just ‘shopping’, you might try for an instant-date later in the conversation)

2)What do you do for a living?

3)What do you do for fun?

These can either be delivered statement/question or question/statement. In other words, you might start by talking about what you’re doing in central London and then ask her what she’s up to (statement/question). Or you might ask her first and then answer your own question when she’s done (question/statement). Either way, be prepared to supply the initial content and energy of the interaction.

It’s not unusual for a person to be a little on-guard when approached by a stranger in the street or a coffee shop and give quite short answers. Allow her initial shyness, she’ll warm up as your statements build comfort and convey your attractive personality.

Another conversation technique is to talk about a character trait you enjoy, explain why you enjoy it and then ask her if she has it. This ‘soft qualification’ is a great way to add value to a conversation and qualify in a high-value way. The more astute among you may recognize some sexual framing in this material also.

For example:

‘I really like people who travel, I love to travel myself. There’s something about people who travel. There’s an open-mindedness to new experiences and a non-judgmental quality that I really like. Do you like to travel?’
‘I like to surround myself with creative people. They have an energy and a fresh way of looking at life that really energizes me. What do you do for fun?’

If you can’t find a click topic, consider that perhaps the two of you have nothing to click on and are better off moving on to meet other people. With practice, however, you’ll find you can find a way to connect with almost anyone you meet. Remember to listen with curiosity and interest.

Thoughts on Conversation:

All the principles of social interaction you’ll find in Magic Bullets and the other materials are relevant here. On top of these, focuse on glimpsing the girl underneath her social facade and being open enough for her to get a glimpse of you under yours.

It’s easy to view interactions with girls as a ‘game’ in which you say certain things, touch your ‘target’ in a certain way to either win or lose the game. This kind of thinking serves to dehumanize the girl who is, after all, a unique person just like you. What if the simple meeting of both of your personalities, opinions and experiences could provide enough content for an attractive, successful conversation?

Don’t forget to be fun and humorous. Tease a little to inject some spice, have fun with the conversation. There’s no need to be intense and serious all the time – in fact, this can be quite creepy! Try a fun role play or future projection, experiment with the attraction materials in Magic Bullets to spice things up. Beware of making these the focus of your content though, remember that you and her are enough to have a great conversation.

Find your own style of interaction. When you meet a man who is successful with girls, by all means copy his style but only to gain an understanding of the underlying principles that make him so successful. Don’t be a clone, you’ll get much better results as a great version of you.
Taking Things Further:

Where can you take the conversation after you’re clicking and enjoying one another? Depending on the logistics of the situation, you might try these options:

– suggest a future meeting and exchange contact details.
– suggest going to get a coffee right then and there.

Conclusion:

The skill of meeting people and having great conversations is a vast one with room for a lifetime of learning and experimentation. It’s a lot of fun and comes with lots of benefits, not least all of the beautiful women you’ll meet!

With this basic information you’ve got all you need to start meeting girls in the daytime. The most important thing you could do with what you’ve read is start applying it in real conversations.

To find out more information on day game, check out this audio download by day game experts Jeremy Soul and Bonsai from Love Systems. The first 10 minutes are free.

One common weakness in a guy’s game is passing tests women give them. Those “tests” are questions that girls will throw at you to see if you walk the walk as well as talk the talk. The reason girls do this is because a lot of guys can be confident on the approach and play a good poker face the whole way through the interaction, but later down the line the cracks start to show and the confident guy she thought he was is actually not that guy at all.

So girls throw these tests at us to separate the men from the boys, and a lot of the time the girl doesn’t even know she’s doing it. In summary, a shit test is a way of the girl finding out whether we are the real deal or just another hopeful trying to get into her pants. In other words, it’s a way to select the right guy.

A lot of the time when a girl is throwing out these tests is because she’s had a lot of guys hit on her that day/night/week/month/year/lifetime and has had enough of wasting her time on giving 10 minutes to everyone of the 95% of guys who haven’t got a chance. Imagine you had 20 fat chicks a day coming up and hitting on you, you’ll be nice to the first 2 or 3, then you’d probably start asking abrupt questions to filter out the ones that are actually cool enough to talk to.

Some examples of tests a girl might throw at you are:

-Why are you talking to me?
-Are you gay?
-Buy me a drink
-Who are you, do I know you?
-Is that your best pick-up line?

The 95% of guys that she’s filtering out will respond with things like:

Her: Why are you talking to me?
Guy: Oh well uh, I just thought you were really hot so wanted to say hi but I can go if you want

or

Her: Are you gay?
Guy: No I’m not gay why do you think that?

or

Her: Buy me a drink
Guy: Ok what do you want?

You probably can see why girls want to filter these guys out.

How to Pass a Test:

The best way to pass a test is to playfully ‘Agree & Exaggerate’ with what she says. For example:

Her: Are you gay?
You: I’m not gay but my boyfriend is

or

Her: Are you gay?
You: Well I don’t make eye contact when I give head, and as long as you don’t make eye contact it doesn’t count

Her: Buy me a drink
You: I’ll buy you a thousand drinks but you buy me one first

Her: Why are you talking to me?
You: I forgot there was a no talking policy at this club (while at a bar or nightclub)

or

Her: Why are you talking to me?
You: I told mum I was going to (bar or club you’re at) tonight to hopefully get married

Her: Is that a pick-up line?
(If she does say that the question/thing you said is probably too ‘gamey’, make sure you don’t come across with that weird community guy vibe or you’ll get called out a lot)
You: Yeah, now your turn

or

Her: Is that a pick-up line?
You: No, (take some ice out of your drink, drop it on the floor and step on it) now that I’ve broken the ice what’s your name?…That’s a pick up line.

Make sure that you’re coming across playfully, so smile to make it clear you’re not being serious after. Otherwise saying ‘I’m not gay but my boyfriend is’ or ‘I told mum I was going to (bar or club you’re at) tonight to hopefully get married’ in a serious tone and not smiling, it could work, but if you don’t play it off right you will be put in the weird guy box.

The way agreeing and exaggerating works is it is basically being sarcastic, so you’re making her comment sound stupid and turn it back on her being the one saying the weird things. Then you just transition on to something new, so if it’s off the bat and she throws a test I’ll agree & exaggerate, then (as long as she responds well which she should do if you do it right) transition with ‘so what’s your name’ or ‘what’s the occasion’ for example. As long as you’re doing it right you’ll see the attraction shoot up after you put it back on her.

Remember – ‘Agree & Exaggerate’ and make sure you play it off right, then transition and tests will no longer be an issue!

To learn more on how to handle the different tests women give you (even when you’re in a relationship) check out the audio download on the Love Systems Website. You can listen to the first ten minutes for FREE!