The Pick-Up Diary

Tip #1: Make eye contact. It’s much better to start a conversation with an eye contact. Good eye contact is important as it demonstrates self-confidence. A lot of guys are so nervous talking to a girl that they don’t really look into her eyes more than a second. You should be able to tell what color her eyes are. To intensify the eye contact, first look in her left eye, then the right and back again. But don’t overdo it.

Tip #2: Say “Hi” with energy. When you approach a woman, say “Hello” in a flirty way. It will make her think you’re sexier than the average geek who walks up to her and gives her a shy “Hi”.

Tip #3: Shake her hand a bit longer. When you shake her hand, let your hand stay on hers for a bit too long and then brush against her hand as you pull back. Do this while smiling and looking into her eyes sincerely.

Tip #4: Mention her name from time to time. Everyone likes to hear his/her name. So repeat her name slowly from time to time in the conversation.

Tip #5: Lower your volume during the conversation. Speak slowly and lower your volume so she has to lean towards you to listen.

Tip #6: Be Playful. Make fun of her playfully from time to time. Imagine she’s your little sister. Have fun together. Find a funny nickname for her. But again, don’t overdo it.

Tip #7: Be the touchy guy?. Touch her as soon you can during the conversation (while approaching is the best). Touch her on the upper arm, shoulder while you laugh.

Tip #8: Mirror her body language. People tend to like people who move and behave like them. Try to imitate her gestures and signs.

Tip #9: Let her talk and listen. This is probably the most important tip. Women love to talk, to tell someone about their feelings. And they always complain men don’t listen. So be different – learn to listen carefully. Don’t look around while she’s telling a story – of course she does notice when you’re looking at the hot waitress.

Tip #10: Open up. Tell her something intimate about yourself (for example: when was the last time you cried in front of somebody?). Ask her the same question. Talk about her childhood.

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1. Go out and approach. You can read all the pickup material in the world and watch endless pickup videos on YouTube, but as long as you don’t go out and practice the stuff you read and see it doesn’t matter. In fact, it might even kill your game as you become dependent on those videos because they make you feel good (temporarily).

2. Don’t take things girls say personally. If you get rejected – and this happens to EVERYONE, even pickup gurus – don?™t start thinking she doesn?™t like you as a person. She can?™t because she doesn?™t know you long enough. It?™s always about your approach: Did you smile? Were you loud enough? Did you make superfluos gestures?

3. Focus on the process, not on the outcome. If you go out with the goal to make-up or sleep with a girl you are doomed to fail. You simply can?™t predict those things and if things don?™t go your way it will affect your (emotional) state. And girls always look for your emotional state first. Try to have fun in the process – it will simplify anything else.

4. Lead. Don?™t be passive and listen to her stories for hours. Talk about things you want to talk about. Don?™t wait for something to happen, make it happen! Say you want to do XYZ and do it. Suggest things, take responsibility. Change venues, inspire her to do something with you.

5. Work her emotions. Women are all about emotions, different kind of emotions. That why they like drama and crying at the movies so much. Never bore her, simply give her what she wants: the full range of emotions. Say you love her, then say you hate her… This is not lying, this is called flirting. Extreme emotions are WAY better than no emotions at all. Even a negative emotion is better than no emotion because you can change it to positive. Tell stories that trigger her emotions. Be unpredictable, surprise her.

6. Always kino escalate. Touch her while approaching (there are studies showing this alone improves the response rate dramatically), hug her, use high fives, punch her in the shoulder (playfully), ask for a small massage (you will be surprised how many girls will do you the favor!) and massage her, do hand reading etc. Kino escalation is a must to avoid landing in the friend zone. Women love physical contact much more than men, however don?™t overdo it in the beginning, keep it subtle.

7. Calibrate. Pickup is about adapting to the girl. Girls are different and sometimes will react differently to your stuff – depending on her emotional state etc. Don?™t let this affect your game, just adapt. Find out what she?™s about, give her some extremes and look how she reacts. Don?™t worry, it?™s still better than no extremes at all as it triggers her emotions and that exaclty what girls want. This way you will stand out from all the boring guys she has met in the past.

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Telling stories in one of the best ways to generate attraction in pick-up when done correctly. If you want to be able to pick up a girl you gotta learn to tell stories.

Here are some basic guidelines for storytelling:

1. Material. Choose stories that are interesting, fun and relevant to her! Avoid stories about distasteful subjects, i.e. death, car accidents, bad breakups, etc. Use stories you tell often to friends and new people that get big laughs.

2. Be succinct. Write your story out word for word and then gut it. Get rid of everything the listener doesn’t need to know and doesn’t care about. It?™s better to cut too much than too little. State the boring but necessary details as succinctly as possible.

3. Lead in. This is how you start the story. The lead in should be congruent with the story to follow. Communicate using words, tonality and energy the type of story to follow. Some examples are, “Oh my God, the funniest/craziest/weirdest thing happened to me the other day!” or “You’ll never believe this, check it out.”

4. Hook. An initial hook is something that makes peoples’ ears perk up. It should be as close to the beginning of the story as possible and should be specifically chosen to make people lean in and pay attention. Bad: My friend called me the other day and left me a message to call him back. So I called him and he went on and on about his Mother’s operation before finally telling me about this party he wanted to go to. Turns out, it’s an S & M party! Good: So the other day I went to this S & M party!

5. Unanswered questions. Craft your story so that there will be unanswered questions in the listener’s mind. You want them to ask you questions that give you the opportunity to further increase your value. Example: So I was picking up my new car the other day and the salesman wouldn’t stop asking me about my watch. The girl I was with finally told him we had to go so she could pick up her instrument for a concert she was doing that night. Unanswered questions: What kind of car did you just buy? What kind of watch were you wearing? Are you rich? Who was the girl you were with? What kind of performance did she have to get to?

6. Allude. In the examples above you’re alluding. You’re alluding to the fact that you have money, as you just bought a new car and have a cool watch. You’re alluding to the fact that you hang out with cool girls. Stated directly, any of this information would sound like bragging, so you allude to it. Make them ask you about it; don’t volunteer it.

7. Subcommunication. This has to do mostly with tonality. The same story can be told playfully, seductively or in a way that generates intrigue. Calibrate to your audience and know what you want to subcommunicate.

8. Convey personality traits. In telling a story, you’re telling someone a great deal about yourself. Know what personality traits want to convey. Craft your stories to subtly tell someone you’re adventurous, rich, famous, creative, courageous, etc.

9. Tonality. This is hard to put in print, but vary your tonality as widely as possible. Talk slow, then fast, then low, then high and then higher! Make transitions smoothly and tell the story in a way that sucks your listener right in. Along with this, act out parts of the story with your hands or your whole body.

10. Have a punch line. A punch line is a line that sums up your story in a powerful way. It’s a way of letting the listener know that the story is over. It doesn’t have to be funny, though in many stories used in the field it will be. Examples: – “That’s the last time I take THAT dog to the beach!” – “From now on I’m asking to see girls’ ID’s!”

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Do you want more success with women in 2012? Then you need to check out these 7 simple tips to get the girl in 2012.

1. Meeting women isn’t just for Saturday nights

Bars and clubs are only a small part of the world. Branch out. Do some Day Game. Develop a social circle that generates attractive women for you to meet naturally. Build a lifestyle that puts beautiful women in your path. On the other hand, don?™t try to be one person when you meet women and another person in the rest of your life. If you need to be more social, be more social every day. If you need to be a better storyteller, be a better storyteller every day. And so on.

2. Write down your goals and how you plan to get there

Studies show that people who write down and commit to their goals are over 600% more effective. And don?™t forget to do a small step towards them every day.

3. Learn how to flirt over text/sms

If you date women who are under 40, you need to learn to text/sms. Texting should build attraction, increase sexual tension, qualify her, and let her get to know you better. In other words, everything we used to have to do in person. A phone number alone isnt that valuable, but if you know how to use text conversations to get her dying to see you again? – its money!

4. Schedule your priorities. Prioritize your schedule

Don’t leave what is important to you for if you have any time left at the end of the day/week/month/year/etc. Put what is important to you on your schedule and stick to it. That means some things will have to fall off. That’s okay. It’s much better to choose what you don’t have time for than to let what is urgent keep you away from what is important.

5. Get good wingmen

Good wingmen force each other to go out, make each other do their approaches, and encourage and help each other when they see something wrong. Good wingmen also let you have a lot more success. While you can definitely attract women when you go out alone it’s a lot better if you have a wingman to help you out. And more fun too!

6. Upgrade your fashion and hairstyle

Clothes and hairstyle say so much about you. To a woman, your clothes and hairstyle are a choice – and she wants to know what they say about you. Are you fashionable and cool? Or out of touch and lame? Are you fun and fresh and exciting? Or boring and afraid to be yourself? Do you respect yourself and have attention to detail? Or do just wear whatever? Make 2012 the year you get your “look” SOLVED if they’re not already.

7. Be man enough to get help

Most men aren’t good at this. Women don’t have this problem. They ask for and share advice all the time – and get much more personal than most men. This gives women a social advantage. Redress the balance in your own life – get some advice!

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Do you want a phone number and a date? Or do you want to take her home? Or is she your next girlfriend? The distinction is important, because each path leads in a different direction.

1. How to pick up a girl if you want casual hookups. Focus on Physical Escalation (touching) and Logistics (getting her alone with you somewhere where you can take things to the next level). Remember to touch early and touch often. Find out early in the night who she is with and where she is going later. A couple quick tips:

– Make the numbers match. If you’re alone and the woman you meet is with her friend, get an instant wingman. You can use opinion openers with guys you don’t know in order to draw them into the conversation.
– Whispering is a great way to create sexual tension – it lets you get right close and is a huge turn-on to many women (always have chewing gum with you ;)
– In Day Game, physical escalation is less important and logistics are more important. Don’t try to seduce her on the street. Make a date for later that night.
– Use roleplays

2. If you want phone numbers and dates then it’s mostly about the Emotional Connection. Physical Escalation/ touching is less important on the first meeting (but still do it) and Logistics aren’t usually very important at all.

Emotional connection comes through conversation. So you need great conversation and flirting skills. Here are a couple of flirting/conversation skills:

– Never ask two questions in a row. Alternate statements and questions.
– Don’t play tourist in her life. Add value.
– Flirting is playful, not serious. It’s also supposed to be fun. Make her have fun.
– Cut off any conversation topics that won’t help you (e.g., her ex-boyfriend, her sick cat, her 6am wakeup call tomorrow, etc.).
– Be at the same energy level as her or slightly higher.

The second part of this is that once you get her phone number, you still need to turn it into a date. Here are a couple hints to get you going:

– Texting is usually better start than phoning for the first contact.
– Always sign your texts. If she has to respond with “who is this?” it kills the emotional momentum.
– If you call, get off the phone first, after about 10-12 minutes. Never leave voicemails.
– Never text her back quicker than she texted you back.
– Be unpredictable. Alternate long and short texts, funny and serious, questions and statements.
– Use statements more than questions. You don’t lose anything if she doesn’t respond to “I’m going to the House of Blues tonight!” You do if she doesn’t respond to “Would you like to come to the House of Blues with me?”
– Use Callback Humor whenever possible. If you did any role-plays when you met, start the call by continuing the role play. If you gave her a goofy nickname, start by calling her that.

3. If you are looking for a girlfriend or long-term relationship

Here’s where you need the full package. You need the conversation skills, you need the phone and text game skills (because there are going to be a few dates before she becomes your girlfriend and you’ve got to keep things going in between those dates).

You’ll also need – unlike in the last two cases – an attractive lifestyle. A woman can hook up with you without caring about what you do with your time, but for a woman to become your girlfriend, she has to want to join your life. That’s friends, hobbies, job, social life, interests, etc.

Here are a few handy lifestyle hints:

Prioritize your schedule and schedule your priorities. If you don’t make time for what’s important to you, it won’t happen. It’s much better to be passionate about something that she might not be interested in than to adopt “high status” hobbies you don’t connect with. Women love hearing men talk about something with passion and love telling their friends about it.

P.P.S. The holiday season is coming. And it’s not just about stress and travel – it’s also a great opportunity to attract women – especially holiday shopping!

The usual Day Game system that most men use will also work just fine at the mall during the holidays. But if you’re shyer, there’s another way. Approach a woman you’re attracted to with something like: “My sister says she needs a new purse for Christmas. What’s in style these days?”

The transition from this is easy; ask her to help you pick one out. Be near a purse store when you start the conversation and save your receipt. Or ask her what she’s doing and then “realize” you’re both doing your holiday shopping at a lot of the same stores, so why not do it together?

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As you may know, women are attracted to a man with an exciting lifestyle, a strong social network, ambitious goals and heart at the right place (being able to show love for her and his family). However, instead of demonstrating these things, a lot of guys complain or try to show off on the first date. They dont realize that you can lose the girl really fast saying the “wrong” things.

So, here are the top 5 verbal mistakes you can make on the first date:

1. “I dont date.” or “My last girlfriend was forever ago.”

She thinks: “No other women will touch this guy and neither should I.” Instead you should demonstrate pre-selection (show her other women want you). Tell her a story of an interesting date you had or drop names of female friends into your stories.

2. “I like to stay at home and play video games.”

She thinks: “This guy is a geek.” You should be conveying to her that you’re an adventurous risk-taker. Talk about when you did something dangerous (sky-diving, hang gliding, bungee
jumping, etc). If you haven’t done something like that, then talk about your desire to do so.

3. “My friends are stupid.”

She thinks: “He has bad friends because he?™s a bad person.” Instead talk about your friends positively and let her know you have many. Or show her you’re good at socializing by meeting new people with her that night.

4. “I hate my job. But I just need the money to pay the bills.”

She thinks: “This guy has no ambition, that’s gross.” If you do have a shitty job, you don’t need to tell her all about it. Instead tell her your goals for the future. She doesn’t care if you’re rich but she does want you to be ambitious.

5. “I don’t really talk to my family.”

She thinks: “This guy has intimacy issues because he’s not even able to love his family!” Don’t reveal negative personal baggage about yourself in the early stages of meeting a woman. Instead show her you love and take care of all of those close to you: family, friends,
girlfriends, and even pets. Being a protector of your loved ones is very sexy to women.

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Ross Jeffries: “The first key to understanding Thought Binding is to recognize that people are basically hypnosis machines. If you tell their minds in what direction to move they will do it everytime because people are not used to hearing these kinds of instructions. People are used to hearing babbling about content, in other words, reasons, data and facts, and that kind of stuff they can, do and will resist. But binding the direction of their thoughts? Never.

Here is an example. Suppose there is some very nice young girl you want to impress. You could tell her lots of stuff about you. You know, say something dumb like: “Well lots of women like me because I’m smart and funny and make good money, but other’s find it’s my honesty and looks that they are attracted to”.

Yeah. Right. Well, the problem is, you are tossing those facts, reasons and info at her, and like as not, she’s heard this a zillion times before and isn’t gonna buy it. If you must use an approach like this, why not bind the direction of her thoughts first? You’d do it like this:

“Hey, did you ever meet someone, and just instantly knew that you had to get to know this person better (point to yourself)? Maybe as you went inside and really got all excited about how much fun it’d be to get to know him and how curious and intrigued you were feeling? As you REMEMBER THOSE FEELINGS AS WE’RE TALKING, I’m just curious, do you first imagine how much fun they’d be to hang out with, and then get intrigued, or do you get intrigued first and then imagine how much fun this person would be (point to yourself)?”

Now, what are you doing here? You’re setting up a mood and state of mind that’s going to make her a lot more receptive by:

1. Having her recall what it’s like to be in the mood you want her in (setting up the thought direction).
2. Giving her a command to STAY IN THAT MOOD WHILE SHE TALKS WITH YOU by using the phrase “as you remember those feelings as we’re talking” (Binding the thought direction).

The phrase “AS YOU REMEMBER”…is a pre-supposition. A pre-supposition is just anything that HAS to be ASSUMED to be true in order for the sentence to make sense and be understood. Thus, with “AS YOU REMEMBER”, the presupposition is that they WILL remember.

You’ve now set her up to be MUCH MORE RECEPTIVE to any “facts” about yourself you want to throw because you’ve set up and BOUND the direction of her thinking and emotional processes. The beauty is THEY NEVER CATCH IT, because they aren’t used to hearing it or looking for it. They just know they find you mesmerising, hypnotically fascinating and irresistibly attractive.

Every decision people make is based in and dependent on their state of mind. If you don’t like their decision, change their state of mind before you try to change the decision. So the key here, is to set up the right state using some of the thought binding techniques we’ve discussed, but also to recognize, that if you’re getting resistance from a woman in the form of broken dates, calls promised but not made, etc., you need to back up and ask yourself the following questions:

1. Hmmm. What state of mind is she in right now with regard to me?
2. What’s the final state I want her in?
3. How can I have fun transitioning her to the state I want her to be in when I pounce?

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Girls always get excited if you show them some magic tricks?. Here is a piece that you can do at any time and freak people out at clubs and parties:

Ask two friends if they would take part in a psychological test with you. Ask one of them to close their eyes. Whilst their eyes are closed you tap their friend on the hand twice. You then ask the person with their eyes closed to open their eyes and ask them if they felt anything. They will swear that they felt two taps on their hand – even though you were nowhere near them… in fact you could even be stood the other side of the room.

The person with their eyes open will be amazed that their friend felt your touch even though she KNOWS you didn?™t go near her. The person with their eyes closed will be so positive that she felt two solid taps that initially she simply won?™t believe that you were nowhere near her! When everybody else watching confirms that you indeed did not touch her – the two friends, plus everyone else in the room will be amazed!

How it works:

You actually touch both people! The trick uses a concept known as ‘dual reality. Each of the friends thinks that the ‘psychological test is happening at a different time. You ask Friend 1 to close their eyes, then secretly tap their hand as you are moving towards Friend 2. After a few seconds, you dramatically (but silently) tap Friend 2. Finally you ask Friend 1 to open their eyes. The trick is complete.

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Another simple routine to impress your audience (you can use this in sets too) is the number reading routine?. Heres how its done: tell the spectator to think of a two digit number between 1 and 50. Both digits should be different and odd

Now eliminate the invisible options by asking whether it?™s a ‘two-digit number?™ (eliminates the numbers 1-9) and odd numbers (eliminates another twenty options). The most popular number people think off is 37. If you are writing the prediction down, make the ‘7?™ look similar to the number ‘1?™, as 31 is the second most popular number.

P.S. The popular answer for a number between 1 and 1.000 is 333.

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If you see a woman you’d like to meet, but you don’t approach her, that’s “approach anxiety.” This is a common problem for men.

• Give your wingman $100 at the start of the night. He gives you $10 back every time you make an approach. You’ll get in the habit very quickly.
• Keep a journal of your nights out and how many approaches you did. You can’t manage what you don’t measure.
• Do a few “warm up” approaches before you get to the bar or club or party. A club I used to go to a lot had a dive bar right beside it – so I’d go to the dive bar for 20 minutes, “warm up” with some approaches to get me in a talkative mood, then I went to the club.
• Momentum is crucial. Approach as soon as you get in the club. Even if it’s just to ask the time. Don’t let inertia take over. (Lots of people forget this rule.)
• Before you go out, write down a list of excuses why someone might not approach. (E.g., “She’s not hot enough,” “I want to get a drink/go to the bathroom first,” “She looks like she’s talking to her friends,” “I don’t have an opener ready,” etc.) Decide in advance if any of those excuses “count.” When you go out, don’t talk yourself out of an approach with an excuse that doesn’t count.

The best way to get rid of approach anxiety is of course to improve your game so that you WANT to approach, because each interaction will be exciting and fun. It’s amazing how quickly approach anxiety disappears after you do the first ones.

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