The Pick-Up Diary

Believe it or not: There is one thing that attracts women’s attention even more than shoes. It’s “social proof“. Let me explain this one:

If you’re at a party or some other social event where many different people come together and you simply go up to people and start a conversation (it really doesn’t matter what opener you use as long as you have a friendly and outgoing attitude), give high fives etc., it looks like you know a lot of people (but you actually don’t). You even don’t have to talk for hours, it’s more about the number of people you seem to know and the vibe between you and them.

A guy who’s able to do that is obvioulsy a social person, and his social status is by far higher than the one’s who’s standing alone in a corner with a beer in front of his chest. And women women are highly attracted to social status. Here’s an small story to illustrate this point:

Once I was working at a fashion fair -our team consisted of six girls and two guys (me and a really good-looking guy). We didn’t know each other and they were no signs of attraction between me and the girls at the beginning…

By the way, this reminds me of Mystery saying something like “for a girl, a new guy – no matter how he looks – is always a 5 (on a 10 point-scale)” on Disk 6 of the Revelation DVDs…And that’s true, as a man you score points by other qualities than looks (for comparison: a hot chick instantly is and will remain a “8” or “9” no matter what).

So, back to the story…We had to work in a big hall, where you could see all each other at any time. And there was a lot of time where nothing happend. So, I simply started chatting with the girls from our group. I went to one girl, asked her something, told her a joke or funny story, then went to the second one aso. I also chatted with the other guy (who was very good looking, but ended up standing alone the whole time), some guys that were working there too and some visitors.

So, here’s what happend after some: the girls came up to me and started talking. There were IOIs (Indicators of Interest) en masse. Keep in mind: at the beginning not a single girl was interested. It was really amazing, at the end of the day I had number closed four girls from that group (the other two weren’t that good looking actually). This was probably the first time I truly realized the power of “social proof”.

First of all, Happy New Year to you all!

I’m finally back from vacation, where I ran across this beautiful, gorgeous girl – so please bear with me, I wanted to spend as much time as I could with her.

Actually, spending time with her helped me understand better a lot of basic things concerning the interaction between men and women. Here are some key points:

1)    Being Self-Confident is important. By now, there are many people telling that you should forget about being confident, because either you have it or not. And if “not” is the case, there is nothing you can do. That’s ridiculous. You gain self-confidence with every approach. And your self-confidence skyrockets with every success. Women look for strong, confident guys – it’s a fact.

2)    Being friendly in spite of everything. Nothing scares women off than being rude or harsh. I know what you want to say now: what about the Bad Guys, the Alpha Males that seemingly are rude to girls and still are successful? That’s right, in a way there are harsh, but this is the way they demonstrate dominance and most important: they still give they girls the feeling that they are interested in them (the girls) as human beings, as attractive women. Sometimes it’s only a special look.

So, no matter how she reacts to your approach, comments aso. try to stay relaxed and positive. Keep in mind: Beautiful women often behave harsh at the beginning of an interaction with a guy they don’t know in order to test how he reacts, to see if he’s strong and confident enough. So don’t fail a “shit test” like “You do this to girls all the time?” Simply ignore it or make fun of it (“Yeah, you’re the 9th today.”). This leads to Point #3:

3)    Being Strong. That means you have to act like you have already beautiful women in your life and it’s not a big deal to you to talk to a beautiful woman you have just met on the street. Try to behave like she’s not attractive at all. If she’s very beautiful, never make compliments on her looks! She hears it all the time and to her you’re just the next guy who wants in her pants. Instead you can use a “neg” like “That’s a nice hair color! Is it real?” to show her that you’re not impressed by her looks and thus disqualify yourself as a suitor.

Remember: The more experience you get in interacting with women, the BETTER you will get (provided that you don’t make the same mistakes again and again). This means you have to practice a lot. Go out and approach, don’t put it off, start practicing today!

P.S. There is a brand-new e-book called the Online-Game, that I can recommend:

www.internetattractionsystem.com

If you want to meet new girls, you need to know where to go. Most guys instantly think of clubs and bars. But actually, these places are not that great to meet girls.

Here’s the reason: In clubs girls get hit on all the time (with stuff like “Can I buy you a drink?” or “Are you often here?”) as most guys think it’s the only place where it’s okay to approach girls (and mostly it’s also the only place they have the guts to do it).

So, by and by the girls get pissed off and start acting bitchy in those places (the so-called “bitch shield” is an automatic mechanism to protect yourself from all the horny guys).

Besides, most clubs are too noisy, overcrowded and the cool chill-out places where you can build comfort or make out with a girl are more often than not taken.

Of course, there are also cafés, but if you’re searching for places where women are not attuned to be approached, check out the my list of the Top 5 Places where women behave naturally:

1) Bookstore. It’s a fact: Most customers here are women. Find a nice girl and get a book recommendation.

2) Grocery. Fruit and veg section. Women are into balanced diet. Start a conversation.

3) Drugstore. Same story as in #1 here. Small downside: Most women are in a hurry.

4) Clothing store. Women’s section. Mindframe: You’re looking for a present for a friend. Just ask, women love all kind of fashion questions.

5) Perfumery. Many women here, unfortunately also some overly committed shop assistants.

The cool thing about these places: Women act much more naturally here as only few guys approach them at these places.

P.S. The nail salon, the jewel store and the library are also places where women are among each other. For more places check out Paul Janka’s Attraction Formula (page 15-18) and Savoy’s Magic Bullets (Chapter 13) – both outstanding books that I highly recommend.

A lot of guys who want to get better with women ask themselves where to start.

First of all, you don’t need to read all the books from all the well-known pickup artist like Mystery, Style aso. Actually, it can be even counterproductive as after reading one you get so exited that you want even more information and want to read all the sutff avaible – forgetting that reading alone won’t change your situation. You need pratice – in field.

Here is what you can do today:

go to a place where you can find a lot of people (a mall, a store, a train station aso.) and simply say “Hi!” (with a friendly smile) to every woman who passes you by. That’s it!

Don’t think about what might happen or how silly it sounds. Just do it! It will help reducing your fear of appoach tremendesly.

Most men are interested in dating science because they want to get better at interacting with beautiful women. Whether your goal is to land a playboy model or to start dating that cute girl at Starbucks, you need to learn how to sexually progress.

Otherwise, you are likely to get the all too familiar “let’s just be friends”. Unfortunately, most men are afraid to act out on their sexual desires, and the result is that they never push any boundaries with women. This causes their game to plateau below their potential, leaving the best opportunities to those willing to push the limits.

If you are too afraid to leave your comfort zone while learning to meet women of quality, you will find that the quality of women you approach is always low. You must push the limits of sexual escalation before you can find the right balance. Without ever pushing too far or too fast, you will never know if you are pushing fast or far enough. When you don’t get the result you wanted with a woman, make note of it, and then you adjust your approach for next time.

A prerequisite for being able to progress with women is understanding that they enjoy sex just as much as men – they just take a different route towards sex. Here are some practical tips:

1) You Don’t Need “Big Moves”

When meeting women you should always be commanding a sexual presence. Your two best tools for this are speech and body language. To start off, try holding your initial handshake for a second longer than normal while keeping eye contact. After that, try calibrating her to see if she is receptive to your sexual overtones. When talking, keep a slow pace, measured pace, and make sure to use pauses to add effect. Have fun with this – you can even try ordering a coffee using sexual subtext.

By immediately creating a sexual presence and calibrating the situation you can quickly screen for a women’s sexual openness. That way, if she doesn’t respond you can quickly move on to something else.

2) Leave Them Better Than You Found Them

Don’t make a girl do something she doesn’t want to do – she should feel great doing even the most “dirty” things. Make her feel like she is sharing in a fun, exciting sexual adventure with you.

This also applies to setting the right frame for later on when you progress further. If there is something you want to happen down the road, make her feel good about it. Tell her “you would look so hot doing …” or “the most fun I ever had with a woman was doing…” Those sorts of statements will create positive associations with whatever sex act you are talking about.

Most women derive pleasure from pleasing someone they like. Let her know you are enjoying whatever she is doing to/for/with you. Tell her “I love the way you do that” or “you look really sexy doing that”. It is important to be supportive of a woman as you progress with her. Men that express their sexual desires without any regard for the woman are considered to be sleazy, and you don’t want to fall into that group. This sort of disregard for women is also a good way of guaranteeing there will be no repeat performances.

3) Creating the Right State of Mind

To successfully progress with a woman, you must demonstrate to her that you want her, but that you do not need her. This is another example of the importance of finding the right balance. If you pretend you are not interested whatsoever, she will move on to someone else, or just peg you as a friend. However, if you act needy towards her, she will be turned off. Beautiful women like a little bit of a challenge. That is where wanting comes in – make it clear that while you are interested in her sexually, you live in a state of abundance, and will meet your needs somewhere else if she doesn’t respond to you. Basically, you must always be willing to walk away.

Finally, I know I’ve written about this before, but it is essential to remember that this is all a part of one great learning process. There is no such thing as rejection – only feedback. As you start to push the limits of sexual escalation, keep track of how women are reacting. Be confident, have fun with it, and keep escalating faster and further until you have to bring things down a notch – that is when you know you are starting to approach the right balance in your game.

To find out more information on turning an interaction more sexual, check out this audio download by Love Systems. The first 10 minutes are FREE.

In some ways, Day Game follows the same structure as any other type of game. But of course there are also differences. Here are the main ones and how to get around them:

1. Guys generally get more approach anxiety approaching girls in the daytime than they do at night.

People always think, “Isn’t it weird to approach girls in the day? Aren’t they busy? Aren’t they going to tell you to go away?” The truth is it’s no less weird than approaching people you don’t know to talk to them in a bar. Instead of reacting really badly, girls react better in the daytime than they do at night. At night, they expect guys to be drunk and hit on them, but in the daytime, it happens to them much less often and thus they are impressed by your confidence and willingness to take risks. Like all approach anxiety, the only way to overcome this is to man up and go approach them.

2. Direct openers are much more necessary in Day Game than night game.

There are a lot of venue considerations in Day Game (see below), but in many situations, particularly in street game, it can come across as really bizarre to stop a random girl and ask her opinion on something. In a bar, you could feasibly be having a conversation with your mates, and want to ask someone nearby their opinion, but in the daytime it comes across as less congruent. Direct openers work fantastically well on the street, e.g. “Excuse me, I just saw you walking past and thought you looked absolutely beautiful! I know this is really forward of me but I just had to say hello. How are you?” Direct Openers are also massively important for moving sets. Contrary to what most people think, it is ridiculously easy to stop moving sets (most of my sets are girls walking past me), you just need to be committed enough to your Direct opener. When you open a moving set, stop, plant yourself right on the ground where you are and deliver the opener. Do NOT start moving as they are moving, wait for them to stop. If they don’t stop, it will be creepy to follow them.

3. Day Game involves a greater variety of venues than night game. These venues are mainly differentiated by the levels of Social Pressure they involve.

You have the streets, cafés, bookstores, art galleries, college campuses etc. Every venue or situation is slightly different, so you will need to develop good social calibration so you don’t creep girls out. The biggest factor to be aware of is Social Pressure. The more other people can listen to your interaction with a woman, the higher the Social Pressure will be, and the more potentially uncomfortable the girl will feel. In high social pressure situations, your job is three-fold. First, don’t go too Direct, either open indirectly or tone down your Direct opener (e.g. “That’s a lovely dress, how you doing?”).

Second, have a strong frame of feeling comfortable in the interaction. The strongest frame always wins: You feeling comfortable talking to her will make her relax. If you are nervous, she will start to feel uncomfortable. The truth is, feeling this comfortable only comes with time and practice. But remember, she can’t see how you feel inside, only how you act on the outside.

Third, make her laugh. If you can tease her or otherwise make her laugh within the first thirty seconds of the interaction, she will instantly relax – the interaction is then suddenly a fun bit of banter with a stranger instead of being accosted by some creepy guy on the subway.

4. Super hot girls are MUCH easier to open in the daytime.

You know how the super hot girls get hit on a lot in bars and clubs? There is one reason why: Alcohol. It normally starts happening after everyone is liquored up. In the sober light of day (and without all their buddies to back up their testosterone levels), most guys are shit scared of the super hottie walking down the street. They will gawp at her, but God forbid they summon the stones to go up to her and say hello. Direct game works really well in the daytime with super hotties. You’ll be surprised at how many of them will turn around to you and say, “Oh my God, that’s so nice of you, no one has ever stopped me on the street to say that!”

5. You can get into Comfort much more quickly in Day Game than night game.

The fact that you have approached her in the daytime already demonstrates a lot of value; if you went Direct, then this is even more pronounced. Attraction building should happen in a matter of minutes. As soon as she’s laughing and enjoying the interaction, stop thinking about attraction and start thinking about qualifying and building comfort. You’ll need to escalate things as part of this. The easiest way to escalate the interaction on the street is to ask her which way she is headed, and suggest that you walk with her for a few minutes to chat. You can add in a, “I don’t want go dress shopping or anything like that with you though – that would be kind of gay – so I’ll probably head off in a few minutes!” This works exactly like a false time constraint. You are reducing the pressure in the situation.

6. Day Game approaches are often less expected by women and can take them by surprise.

This is a double edged sword. On the one hand, as mentioned above it causes guys to have more anxiety when daytime approaching, and they sometimes equate the surprise that girls will get with her being weirded out. On the other hand, because she is surprised, you have just spiked her emotions and therefore, if you run the interaction well, this turns into a massive positive for you. Not to mention that fact that very rarely do guys approach women on the street, so when you do approach her she will be more impressed and more likely to remember you positively (therefore LESS likely to flake than a night game set). The best way to handle the surprise/shock factor she may experience (especially if you use a Direct opener) is to acknowledge the situation, e.g. “I know this is really forward of me… but I was going to regret it all day if I didn’t stop you and say hello,” or, “This is very bold of me, but I thought you looked absolutely stunning, and I don’t believe in letting opportunities pass you by.”

7. It is harder to get a Same Day Lay than a Same Night Lay.

The reason why this is true is because of logistics, not because of social conventions (which is what you might have expected). If your game is good enough, you can bend social conventions to your whim, but once you get good, the biggest problem you spend most of your time overcoming is logistics. The fact is, girls will tend to be more busy and in the middle of doing other things in the daytime, so often you will only be able to take a phone number, build some comfort, and then move on. However, this doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be on the lookout for Same Day Lays!! In the ideal situation, you meet the girl and take her on a series of venue changes than end up back at your place. More commonly, there will be an “interrupt”, where she has to go home to eat or meet friends etc. In these cases you can still try to get her to come out to a party with you that night. You need to get out of the mentality that Day Game is just about taking phone numbers: You are trying to seduce these women not just get their digits. Set up the instant date if you can (e.g. take her for a coffee, then a drink, then a walk, then your place), or arrange to meet her later that day if you can. As mentioned above though, this all depends on what else she has got going on that day. Welcome to the wonderful world of logistical management!

8. You often have less time to demonstrate value to the girl than in night game.

Some girls you open will be in a rush to get somewhere, just about to meet friends, or may not have the time or inclination to talk to a random (albeit fun and interesting) stranger in the middle of the day. Because you are not in a bar, chances are she is not going to see you talking to other people (i.e. no opportunity for social proof). In the daytime therefore, you typically have a very small window of opportunity to make a good first impression: You must present yourself as well as humanly possible. Leave the house ready to meet women. Wear nice clothes, style your hair, and wear good shoes (don’t wear your tatty trainers). All of these things will encourage her to response positively to her when you stop her in the middle of the street.

9. Groups of women seem more difficult to approach even though they really are not.

It is not true that you can’t run Direct Game on groups of women, and it is not true that you can’t open groups of women in the daytime. Your strategy with a group should be either to pull all of them to another venue with you (typically again, there will be an interrupt, but you can invite them somewhere later that night), or to open the girl you want, build some comfort with the whole group (so they approve of you and allow you to pick up the girl you want), and then start escalating with your chosen girl. Escalation in front of the group might be as simple as taking her number, finding out some stuff about her and qualifying her a little.

The most important thing is to take action. A lot of guys who excel in night game, choke in the daytime. You need to be willing to take action TODAY, not tomorrow, not the day after. Procrastination is the world’s greatest sin. You will find that once you force yourself to open a few daytime sets, your skills and experience in other areas will rapidly transfer across. It’s just being willing to burst through that barrier.

To find out more information on day game, check out this audio download by Love Systems day game experts Jeremy Soul and Bonsai. The first 10 minutes are FREE.

If you want to take a girl home, there are certain things you have to be aware of. Here are four tips for closing at her place:

1) Find out where she lives.

This step seems obvious, but you’d be surprised how often it is unintentionally left out. When you know where a woman lives, you can plan ahead to deal with the logistical problems you’re going to hit later.
Does she live near the venue? Does she have a roommate? Is she in a dorm? Do you know of a cool bar/after hours joint near her place? When you want to bounce her back there, are you going to drive, walk, or take a cab? Even if you end up with a phone number + date instead of going home with her, this info will be useful for when you go out again.

A few scenarios to consider and how to deal with them:

– Roommates: When there is a separate bedroom to retreat to, sacrificing a few minutes of conversation to win over the roommate(s) will make your being there a lot more comfortable. After they trust you, you can use any nonsense reason to bounce your girl to her bedroom. “Bet my room is cleaner than yours,” is one example.

– Cab ride: If she lives a cab ride away, be sure to keep up the momentum in the car, and continue to build up physical intimacy. If you were touching her arm in the bar, touch her leg in the cab. If you were about to make out in the bar, make out in the cab. Avoid cabs with bucket seats that make physical contact impossible.
– Dorm: If there’s a security guard, you can go through the lengthy (and vibe-killing) process of giving him your ID and signing in, or you can tell the girl to slide her card through and sneak in behind her. You get points for being resourceful, and it’s exciting because it seems like you’re doing something wrong.

– Shared bedroom: There are public bathrooms in dorms and hotels that I have found very accommodating when dealing with shared room situations. Be sure and scan for them when entering, and when it’s time to bounce to it, tell the girl that you’re “taking her on a field trip.”

2) Amp up the physical tension.

If you can get a girl sexually excited, then she’s going to want to bring you to a place where you can have sex as quickly as humanly possible. Here are a few quick pointers to get you started:
– Always end a touch or kiss before they do/want you to.
– Drop the topic of sex into conversation (in a light, joking way) as quickly as possible.
– Start touching the way you’d touch your boss and build to the way you’d touch a girlfriend.

3) “Let’s get you home.”

It’s easy to think of reasons to give a woman why she has to come back to your place. Keep it simple. “Let me show you that book I was talking about,” is perfect. It gives her plausible deniability and doesn’t tip your hand.

It’s harder to do this with her place. “Do you want to take me home with you?” makes you sound like a stray dog, not a man. “Let’s go to your place” is totally cliché thanks to every movie from the 1970s. “Let’s get out of here” is great if it’s obvious and explicit that she wants to have sex, but if you’re still flying a bit under the radar or her friends are around, you’re going to need something a little more subtle.
Instead, take the lead with “let’s get you home.” It’s a little dominant, it shows you know how to lead, but it also doesn’t trigger state breaks. If her friends are around, it implies that you are just going to make sure that she gets home safe. She shouldn’t feel any pressure since there’s really nothing implied. And if nothing’s going to happen, then there’s no reason she can’t bail on her friends, right?

(If you don’t remember state breaks, review Chapter 10 of Magic Bullets now. If you haven’t read Magic Bullets, get it. It’s the official Love Systems guide to meeting and attracting women, and where most successful guys start.)

4) Assume you’re going upstairs.

There’s nothing more awkward than walking a woman home and standing there silent for an eternity waiting for her to invite you up. Avoid this situation by assuming that she’ll be bringing you upstairs. Do not pause by the door. Do not say “Well, it was nice hanging out with you.” Keep the momentum of the interaction going as though you are still in the process of hanging out. If she has to invite you in, that’s risking a state break. Of course, there will be times when she suggests that you don’t come up, either because she doesn’t want to appear easy, or because she thinks letting you upstairs is an implicit agreement that you’ll be sleeping together. You can usually defuse this by giving yourself a bedtime. “I’ve got work in the morning, so I can only come up for a little bit” is one of my favorites. Say this before she even gets a chance to tell you why you can’t come in – like you coming in is a foregone conclusion.

To find out more information on closing at the girl’s place or getting a girl from the venue back to your place, check out the Love Systems interview series on Logistics. You can listen to the first 10 minutes for FREE!

A lot of guys are able to start a conversation with a girl – even on the street – but then there is always an awkward moment when you want to ask for her number, but don’t have enough self-confidence to do it or to do it in a “relaxed” way. And she instantly feels it – and starts to feel queasy…

Asking for her number can be difficult – especially talking about a girl you’ve just met on the street! But actually, there is a way to stay connected without asking for her number. Let’s call it the Facebook Method:

1) Go to a girl and ask her opinion on something (for example say that you want to buy a friend a good perfume, but don’t know which one…(Remember: you have to smile when you approach!)

2) Show or tell her that you are impressed with her answer – without overdoing it. If she says “I don’t know” just ask what kind of perfume she uses.

3) Finally, say “thanks” and pretend to roll off…Turn your upper body, but

4) Then, simply turn back and say with a confident voice: “Hey! Are you on facebook? You seem to be an expert on fashion/… Maybe I will contact you for further advice.” Smile.

The reason why you are not asking for her number is that a girl is much more likely to give a guy she has just met her online contact info than her mobile number. There’s no real commitment for her in giving you her online contact information. It’s not such a big deal as giving her number to a stranger who probably only wants to get in her pants. Facebook is a social interaction platform and girls love to check out new guys online. And if she doesn’t like you, she still can ignore you.

This way you can ask a lot of girls and actually get in touch with them without displaying an obvious interest in them. If she says she’s not on facebook, keep cool and ask her about her email address. No matter what she says stay friendly and relaxed as if you’re doing this all the time. Keep in mind: girls often act bitchy to test your reaction (the so called “shit test”).

Keep in mind: Smile and try to talk with a friendly but confident voice. Practice in front of a mirror if you want. Actually, about 80 % of the communication is nonverbal. So, it’s more about how you approach (body language, voice, timing) than what you say.

Even better than a mirror is a video tape of you. Tape yourself on video to see how other people perceive you. It really gives you a reality check. Practice as long as you finally like “this” guy on the tape and your results with girls will skyrocket as you will become much more self-confident. And self-confidence is what girls are really looking for in a guy as it demonstrates a high status.

If you don’t know what to say – how to approach girls on the street – I can definitely recommend Paul Janka’s 6 CD Audio Program – it’s definitely worth it.

After some months of absence – being busy working on different projects overseas – I’m finally back.

In the last months, there has been a lot of tattle about a guy called Paul Janka and his new seduction eBook “Attraction Formula“. I have to admit after watching some videos of this guy and reading some comments in the seduction forums, I bought his book. I was curious. Obviously this guy is good with girls, but he’s quite good looking and shouldn’t have any problems finding women. So what does work for him, doesn’t have to work for everyone…The question was: is there also some interesting stuff, some fresh ideas in his book?

The interesting thing about this “seduction guide” is that’s not about picking up women in clubs and bars, but the street. So it’s a so called “day game” guide. That’s were Janka picked up most of the alleged 173 women he has slept with. Although there is an order in the book, it’s more a collection of thoughts on different aspects.

Some insights are outstanding  – like the Rule of Omission, the Movie Trailer Concept, Women’s Inability to Drive a Conversation, Emotional Kinematics, The Idea of Discipline, How to Spend your Money Towards Getting Laid, Male Pride.

Some are plain-simple and anything but fancy (do it again and again to eliminate the approach anxiety). Also, you will find only few tips on what “exactly” to say approaching in this book (Janka says he doesn’t like canned stuff). For comparison only: In Mystery’s book “Revelation” are countless lines that you can use if you don’t know what to say (but Mystery’s book costs respectable $97).

But the one thing you simply have to love about this guy is his direct and pointed way of writing – you almost can tell he’s a Hardard-educated Physicist. So, in the end, I can recommend this book – there are no groundbreaking ideas, but some insights alone are worth the $19.95.

If you need more info, here’s a good review:

www.bestseductionbooks.com

Starting a conversation with a beautiful woman can be tough. In fact, it scares most of the guys, although no one would admit it. But everyone knows the process: You get nervous, get sweaty palms and start stuttering – if you decide to approach her at all.

However, there are ways to do it right. Ways that work.

1)    Use an Opinion Opener.

An opener is a question or statement you start a conversation with. Thus, an opinion opener is about asking her opinion on something. For example: “Hi! I’m searching for a birthday present for a friend. She’s the same age as you. Do you have an idea? I was thinking about a book…” Or “Hey, do you think wearing too many rings is kind of gay? I want to get some, but I’m not sure…” Let her speak and listen carefully as you can use her answers to keep up the conversation. A good opener will automatically lead to other questions and topics of conversation.

2)    Demonstrate Value.

Impress her with stuff only few people talk about at the beginning of a conversation. For example, if you asked her about the rings and she wears one or some, say that you read in a magazine yesterday that wearing rings on certain fingers says something about one’s personality. On the other hand, if she’s not wearing any rings, you can tell her that the decision not to wear rings says something about her personality. In doing so you demonstrate a higher value as most of the guys use “interview questions” like: “What is your name?”, “Where are you from?”, “What kind of work you do?” Read up on palm reading, (favorite) color meaning, finger length meaning or psycho tests. Women love tests where you tell them something about them they didn’t know. But practice it at home (with a friend) first.

3)     Find Similarities.

This is necessary to build comfort. She has to see herself in you, has to realize that you both have the same feelings. Of course, you need some time to build up comfort, but also a short story like this can be striking: “Hey, you have the same boots like my sister! I was shopping with her and she searched through 10 shoe stores to find them…” Again, let her talk for a while, maybe you will find something you can relate to and build even more comfort.

P.S. Never open with “Excuse me”. As a man of high status (at least that’s what you want to demonstrate, because women are attracted to status) you don’t need to apologize for a simple question or statement. You will find more tips how to start a conversation, how to demonstrate value and build comfort here: