The Pick-Up Diary

It’s in every magazine, every talk show and you hear it all the time: women want a guy with a good sense of humor.

Going from funny to sexy. Why is it that so many really funny comedians have so much trouble hooking up with high quality women? How do you go from being the funny guy to the guy she wants to take home?

The answer is to use humor to mask your sexual intent. That means bringing up the topic of sex, but in a funny way.

You should always be looking for opportunities to bring up the topic of sex with a woman that you are interested in, even though it can be hard to find a way to make it not creepy. When you talk about sex, you subcommunicate that you are someone who is interested in sex, who has had sex before, who is confident about sex. You start to paint the picture that sex is a normal and important part of your life.

You also start to introduce the idea of sex with the woman you’re talking to, which is really important, especially if you want same night lays. She’ll have a hard time putting you in the friend zone if you’ve already brought up the idea of hooking up with her.

Not only that, but if done in the right way, simply talking about sex can be physically exciting to her. It is a huge tool in breaking though levels of intimacy.

So how do we do this without sounding like a total creeper? The answer is above. USE HUMOR!

The great thing about humor is that you can get away with a lot if you are funny. Knowing this, you should always start your sexual framing in a way that’s funny.

Two Techniques for Funny Sexual Framing

There are literally hundreds of ways to work sex into conversation, but for the moment here are two super easy ones.

The first is to hide it in a role play. A role play is putting you and the woman in a fake scenario that she can play along with. For example, pretending that you are breaking up even though you just met:

“I’m totally breaking up with you. I’ll come over tomorrow to get my CD’s and for the breakup sex.”

You can even pretend that you’ve been married and add all sorts of crazy fake details:

“That’s it! You and I are getting a divorce. Just as well. You could never handle me in bed anyways.”

Once you have the fake scenario out there, you’ve got free reign over the kind of material you can make up. Why not make up something sexual?

The second technique is called Raising Your Value, in which you boast about your positive qualities. You talk about how attractive you are, how cool you are, and most importantly, how sure you are that the woman you are talking to you is attracted to you:

“You’re such a sexual predator. I can feel you undressing me with your eyes right now!”

or

“I’d appreciate it if you’d get your mind out of the gutter. I know it’s hard because I’m so hot, but just do your best and think unsexy thoughts.”

In both of the above techniques, even though it’s just a joke, it still breaks through those same levels of intimacy. It has the same effect, even though it’s just a joke!

The above tools are a good place to start, but it really is just the tip of the iceberg. For example, did you know that these sexual jokes are a perfect opportunity to escalate physically? Just throw it into the joke! Why not have the fake breakup conversation with her sitting on your lap? Why not give her a friendly hug then accuse her of copping a feel? The possibilities are limitless if you’re looking in the right places.

Of course they have to be in on the joke for this to work, so make sure you get on the same page with them as soon as possible.

P.S. Learn How to Get Your Ex Back NOW!

As men we might go out on the date-hunt alone. But women, especially women of quality, are rarely found out at clubs and bars socializing alone. They travel in wing-woman packs, or mixed groups of men and women protecting each other from slime-balls, drunken idiots, and boring AFCs (average frustrated chumps).

But you are different because you recognize this fact and you’re  going to not only overcome it but use it to your advantage.

If you opened, demonstrated value (showed you’re interesting and attractive) and disqualified yourself from being the “next guy” to heighten attraction in your target,  you should be receiving “Indicators of Interest” (IOIs) from the woman in set that is your target. This concept is as easy as it sounds. An IOI is something a woman does (maybe even subconsciously) to show you that she’s interested in you as more than just a friend.

Here’s a small list of IOIs:

1. She makes prolonged eye contact with you.

2. She touches you in a playful. A tap on the arm, friendly punch to the shoulder or joking hip check.

3. She fixes her hair or other aspects of her appearance in your presence.

4. She tries to insert herself into the conversation you’re having with other people in the set or if the conversation with you dies she re-starts it.

5. She’s willing to do simple things you ask her to do: “Here hold this cup.” or “Switch places with me, you stand here.”

6. She laughs at your jokes even when no one else does.

7. She doesn’t want you to leave.

The key with IOIs is to notice them and to act accordingly. What does that mean exactly you ask? Well, if a woman is showing you she’s attracted to you then you can start escalating things to the next level chief. Doesn’t that sound like fun?

The rule of thumb is to notice 3-4 IOIs then to begin to work on escalation, namely isolating the target to build comfort. So, it may take you some time to get out of your head about saying and performing your Openers, DHVs, and DQs for you to also be able to keep track of IOIs but eventually this is the point to sarging often. That’s why PUAs like to run the same material over and over again – because it allows them to be able to focus on other things like counting IOIs. Try it for yourself.

How to Isolate

Let’s say you notice those IOIs your next step is to try to get some alone time with her.

Here’s where the group dynamic comes into play. It’s tough to get awoman away from her friends. It’s tough because her friends are her safety net and it’s there job to keep her safe. But provided you did everything right you should have not only been charming your special lady but also the group so you’ve got that going for you.

But you still need to follow a few rules to keep her super team of friends from worrying, so here’s how it goes:

You notice 3-4 IOIs from the target and you know you’ve achieved attraction to you. Now address the group say:

“Even though she’s trouble (feisty, a mess, etc., insert an adjective here that calls back a DQ), there’s something about your friend I find interesting. You guys mind if I talk to her alone for just a few minutes right over there?” (point to a spot near the group but far enough that you’re out of earshot).

Now, that sentence you just read doesn’t get said to a group of women or any group often. It’s totally alpha and confident to ask the group for this and they’ll respect it. Unless there’s a really drunk AMOG or a super tough wing-woman that loathes you the group usually always just nods and says “Sure, go ahead!”

You can’t prepare yourself for all contingencies so let’s just say the situation goes smooth and no one objects which is 9 times out of ten. The target will have heard what you said so at this point look her in the eye and say “Let’s talk for a minute over there before I go.” Then put your arm out suggestively so that she takes it.

Walk with the target over to your isolation spot – you’re now in isolation.

Why and How to Build Comfort

You build comfort because meeting and dating men is a scary prospect for a  woman. Think about all the psycho dudes she’s met in her life and the guys that have just tried to get in her pants. It’s no wonder she has her defenses up. You need to earn her trust and show her that you aren’t crazy and that you’re interested in more than just her body. This is the key to her really wanting to give you her number and her answering when you call it a few days later.

That’s the why and here’s the how. The Cube is a great routine to use in comfort building because it’s a good way to get to know someone on a deeper level. Feel free to run The Cube as your Isolation Routine.

In addition to running routines a good option in the comfort building phase is to listen. You already have this girl interested in you so now you need to get to know her. Ask her broad open ended questions: “What are your passions? What are you all about? You seem different from these other women in this place, what makes you special?” I think you get the idea. If she starts talking and doesn’t stop that’s a great sign. Your job now is to listen intently and look into her eyes.

P.S. Learn How to Get Your Ex Back NOW!

Let me distract you for a second from this pic for a small question:

How do you improve your skills in a particular area?

By practice, by doing something – it’s obvious. If you’re learning a new language the most effective way to get better is to speak in that language a lot. The same goes for if you want to get better with girls. You have to practice a lot. You can read countless books – which will make think you know it all – but unless you go out regularly and approach women, you won’t get better!

Learning by doing is effective, but it’s even more effective when you know (exactly) what you’re doing. That means besides practice you also need some theory, some knowledge – the techniques that really work.

Now where do you get that all together?

At Walmart At a Bootcamp, exactly.

In fact, it’s the most effective way to get better. Of course, it costs money and not everyone can afford a bootcamp. But if you can and you want to get better real quick (because it can take years to get better with girls studying on your own – chances are you won’t get better at all and simply consume all the pick-up material to feel better) this is the best opportunity you will get:

On the Oct 9-11.2009, worlds best pickup artists and dating coaches will come to Las Vegas. And you can be part of it! You will get the opportunity to meet and learn from the best:

Savoy (author of Magic Bullets), Cajun (winner of Keys to the VIP), The Don (author of the Routines Manual), Soul (the world’s #1 expert in Day Game), Mr M and Braddock (creators of Social Circle Mastery), Brad P, Tenmagnet, Fader, Sheriff, David Wygant, and more.

The three days are filled with seminars, live exercises, and infield (going out to meet women with dating coaches instructing you).

More precisely, there they will have two rooms with different sessions running at the same time:

1)  a seminar room:

The seminar room is where the instructors and guest speakers will reveal their latest breakthroughs, give lectures, and talk about specific topics on dating. Past subjects have included:

.. Social Circle Mastery
.. Advanced Attraction
.. Deep Comfort
.. Inner Game
.. Relationship Management and Multiple Relationships
.. Callback Humor
.. Day Game
.. Strippers and Hired Guns
.. And lots more.

and

2) a breakout room.

In the interactive breakout room you will be able to talk to instructors and work with them on a particular part of their game. These live exercises include:

.. Approaching and Transitioning – Get your approaching skills down!
.. Teasing and Bantering – How to think on your feet and build attraction FAST!
.. Physical Escalation – Touching gets results and prevents you getting in the friendzone!
.. Body Language – Project confidence with your walk, posture, and gestures!
.. Frame Control – Steer interactions the way you want it to go!

This way, you can decide on your own what you want to do because there are always two sessions running at the same time. If you want to work with an instructor, you can go to the breakout room. If you want to listen to a lecture on a specific topic, the seminar room is where you want to be. You can tailor the whole weekend to your own level of game.

There are two packages: Silver and Gold:

The Silver level attendees will be able to attend all the live exercises and seminars during the Super Conference. The Gold level attendees will also be able to do live exercises and seminars, but will also go out two nights with infield coaching by our instructors.

The price for Silver is $947 and Gold is $3,797 (which is still cheap compared to the the astronomical price of $4,000 per person for a Mystery Method Bootcamp). For more info, take a look at this video:

Learn to Attract Women at the Love Systems Super Conference (Oct 9-11.2009)

What’s the fastest and most effective way to get good with girls?

Infield training? For sure, but without theory?

Infield training and seminars? Almost there…

Infield training, seminars AND learning from the best PUAs in the world?

You name it!

The guys from Love Systems are hosting the biggest dating conference – the Super Conference.

All the best pickup artist and dating coaches gather in Las Vegas (October 15-17 2010) in this one-of-a-kind event. You get the chance to immerse yourself to become the guy all women desire in just three days. It is taking place next month and you definitely do not want to miss this. To get an idea what you can expect, check out the video below:

Super Conference

There are not many seats left, so you better hurry up before they sell out. Click here to claim your ticket.

Ask yourself…

1. When was the last time I went out?

2. While I was out, did I open sets often enough?

3. While in set, did I push as far as possible?

In those 3 easy questions there are tons of ways you may find you sabotage yourself.

Balance is vital in life, but real progress takes real energy. The WORST thing you can do is to NOT go out much.

The best techniques mean nothing, if you’re not actually approaching.

You have to make a commitment. Get in the field. It’s time to go out. It’s time to approach.

And that’s not all.

Beyond showing up, and beyond playing, we must always be PUSHING to the next point.

The key is FORCING. If you’re ever wondering “how can I get past this anxiety?” The most

effective way is to not offer yourself a choice. Don’t even let it be a question, instead just:

DO. ACT. PUSH. Soon enough, you’ll open.

Temptation will pull you towards comfort, but this is the enemy of progress. You must push

past comfort in each of your experiences.

FORCE into attraction. When that is down

FORCE into qualification. Get that in place

FORCE into the next step. The cycle can not

and should not end.

Never let yourself succumb to the dreaded monster of self comfort, for if you

do, it will be the end of the BEST version of you.

It doesn’t have to end that way though, it won’t be decided by chance or destiny. It

is decided through one thing alone, one simple question you must answer for yourself:

Will you perpetually push yourself past the next step through EXPERIENCE?

The choice is yours alone.

P.S. A couple more weeks and the Love Systems Super Conference will be taking place in Las Vegas. There are only few seats left, so hurry up!

P.P.S. Here is a video of Love Systems coach “Future” giving a talk at the conference last year.

Most men believe all it takes is money or good looks to attract women. You see it all the times in Hollywood movies where the rich guy is walking into restaurants with a gorgeous woman besides him. Other times when you’re walking down the street you see a male model walking with a stunner. All these images reinforce the belief that you need money or good looks to get women.

There is a little bit of truth in there. Having wealth will make it easier for you to attract women and so does good looks. But having those traits alone is by far not enough. These will get your foot in the door, but you will still need to display your attractive personality and have good conversational skills. No woman wants to be with a quiet millionaire or male model who can’t have conversations with her or who can’t turn her on. Luckily for you, even if you are not good looking or wealthy, you can still date these types of women if you know the right things to do.

There are certain traits women want in a guy. Knowing these traits will equal the playing for average men like you and me.

For example, there are some attraction switches. These are traits that every woman finds attractive in men. If you can display these traits (or turn on those “switches”) any woman will get attracted to you. Wealth is one of attraction switches and so is health (which is “mother” of good looks) but there are six more (you will be surprised what some of the other ones are).

You are fortunate that you are a guy, because the way attraction works for women is different than for men (as further explained in the book). Guys assume women think just like them so they assume the way attraction works is also the same. This can’t be further from the truth. For men is mostly defined by a woman’s looks. We want young, slim, and healthy looking women. Women view attraction very differently. Looks still matter, but what matter more is the social status of the man.

Here is an insight to female psychology: women want to be desired by powerful men. That is the biggest turn on for women. Now that does not mean that power equals wealth. She will get attracted to you if she perceives you as more powerful than she is. By having surmounts of wealth is just one way to do that. Another way to display that is by being more mature & experienced than her (why do you think most women date guys older than them) or you have a higher position within society than her (e.g. you are a lawyer versus she is a hair dresser).

Everyone has attractive personality traits, but you have to know how to precisely convey those to women. Bragging is a big turn off for women. Even if you have millions of dollars you still cannot get the girl if you brag about it. So what if you aren’t a millionaire? You can still get the girls knowing what the attraction switches are. Why do you think women fall head over heels over BROKE musicians?

P.S. This �Mind Hack� Makes Hot Girls Want You

ABC’s Nightline show infiltrated Love Systems’ annual Super Conference to see if the dating tips and techniques actually work. There is cutting edge hidden footage of dating coaches picking up women and breaking down how it all happened. Plus how you can do it yourself.

Here’s the link for the video:

Love Systems Conference

Unfortunately the TV crew escorted out of the seminar room at one point, but because the attendees were about to see how one of the coaches took a girl home in under 5 minutes and broke it down how he did it. All the teachings of the company are based on the founder’s book called Magic Bullets. Grab your copy here.

Improving your dating life can be tough, especially when women reject you on the approach. It’s part of the game. If you are getting striked out after the approach you might be doing something wrong that turns women off. It can be a lot of different things and you might be even unaware of the mistakes you are making. Here are 5 things to watch for that turn women off (and you want to avoid).

1. Pickup Lines

Let’s get one thing clear before you even approach: pickup lines do not work. Whenever you approach a woman with a (cheesy) pickup line, she will shoot you down. By using a pickup line, what you are actually saying to her is that you are someone who doesn’t have any social intuition and you are someone who does not date women like her. Communicating those things automatically raises a red flag in her mind that you are not suitable for her to date you.

It’s even better to just say “Hi I’m Ben. What’s your name?” and go from there. Avoid pickup lines.

On the other hand, there are good conversation starters (or “openers” as some people call them). The goal of a conversation starter is to start a conversation; nothing more, nothing less. Once you have initiated the conversation, you need to engage her into an interesting conversation to build attraction and go from there.

2. Awkwardness

This one is easy: awkwardness. Women avoid awkwardness like men avoid grenades in their vicinity. It’s that bad. Common things that cause awkwardness include: long pauses in conversation and acting goofy in public with her. Awkwardness is one of the kryptonites of attraction. Awkwardness will kill any attraction she might feel for you so avoid it at all costs.

3. Boring

Women love interesting men and excitement. Being boring is on the opposite side of that spectrum and no woman wants to be around a boring guy. The task is simple; avoid being boring. If you can do that, you are already way ahead of most guys.

One common mistake is asking multiple questions in a row. Do not ask multiple questions in a row. That’s a job interview. Keep the conversation “light.” Do not discuss the existence of god or which political affiliation you’re part of. In simple terms: less logic, more emotions. Try to tease her like you would to your little sister or niece, tell some jokes, and share stories.

4. Neediness

Neediness is solely doing something for someone else to get affection or love in return. Being needy shows you have no options when it comes to women. It is conveyed mostly through your actions, but also through your words. Examples of being needy:

-calling or texting multiple times a day

-you are too available

-you try to please her all the time (at your own expense)

Here’s a key insight to female psychology: women like men who are desired by other women. It’s like a shortcut for them to filter out men. If other women like him, there must be something good about him she is not aware of. Showing neediness is the exactly the opposite and will kill any attraction (another one of those kryptonites).

5. Bragging

Bragging about yourself is like screaming “look how insecure I am and I’m trying to impress you.” A rich man doesn’t talk about how rich he is and Hugh Hefner does not talk about many blonds he has slept with. Subtlety is the key to showing off the cool things about you. The more subtle you are about the attractive things of you, the better it comes across to women. They are very good at filling in the blanks and recognizing subtle elements in your stories, outfits, and possessions.

For example, instead of saying “A couple weeks ago I had a girl, who is really beautiful and a model, come over and have diner with me. She made the best pasta ever and it was delicious” you want to be more subtle. A simpler and more subtle version is, “A friend of mine came over to cook for pasta for me and it was the best pasta I have ever had.” The latter is very subtle and conveying that you have other women in your life. Do guys generally come over and cook? No, women do. Women will understand that a woman was there for you to cook. The context is unknown, but she can fill in the blanks that is was possibly a date or maybe even your ex-girlfriend. Who knows, but you conveyed the same info in a shorter and more subtle way.

Avoid all those turn offs and your dating life will be changed up-side down. Sometimes dating does not have to be that difficult when you know what to do AND what not to do. In the book Magic Bullets you will find more details what turns women off, but more importantly what turns them on. Click here to find out more about it.

Attractive women on a daily basis have dozens of men come up to them and validate their beauty with compliments and sometimes gifts. It gets so that women find this boring or

even annoying.

Some women even develop tactics that help them weed through this multitude of boring nice guys just attracted to them for their looks. I mean I can’t blame them because I could

see how all those AFCs would get super boring.

The women get tough and test guys with attitude. In a manner of speaking this is the female way of Disqualifying and Qualifying men. They play the GAME too.

Disqualifying a woman allows you to show her that you aren’t like all the other guys who are just attracted to her for her looks. It lets her work for your attraction. It sets you up as a

PUA to allow her to display something more about herself for you to be attracted to other than her looks.

So now that you understand the concept let’s look at some methods to DQ:

1. Ignoring the target and spending more time speaking to her friends is a good way to start.

2. Disagreeing with a woman’s opinion on an item to show her you won’t cave your ideals to hers just because she’s attractive.

3. Teasing a woman with a playful joke like saying “You don’t get out much do you?” Remember always smile when you tease. Sometimes these types of DQs are called “pebbles.”

4. Letting a woman know that their is something about her that prohibits you from dating her. Such as “You’re a Scorpio? I never date Scorpios…dram, drama, drama.” Remember to

smile.

5. Or simply implying that you are spoken for: “My girlfriend would like your dress.”

When you use a DQ be sure to not wait for your target to react. It’s important that she perceives it as something you just casually say and didn’t over-think or plan out.

If the DQ is more of a tease that could come off as an insult you should always smile. Smiling allows the target to know that you are not fully serious. You’re just flirting…that’s what the smile says.

The 10 Best Disqualifiers (DQs):

1. “You should go back to your friends. I think the kids at the nerd table really miss you.”

2. “I bet you were the type of kid that always got spaghetti sauce all over your face.”

3. “Note to self: Do not date this girl.” (pretend to take a note on your hand)

4. “I bet there are tons of guys waiting to meet you on the Internet.”

5. “I don’t let women like you into my house without a background check first.”

6. “You are so bad at being pretty.”

7. “Check this girl out. She’s amazing, and so bright and funny. Would you believe she’s never had a date?”

8. “Yeah, you’re like the coolest girl I’ve met in this location in the last 2 minutes.”

9. “You are such a dork, it’s really adorable.”

10. “You’re such a nice girl. I really shouldn’t even be talking to you.”

Meeting women in daytime environments is a great alternative for bar and club environments. You strike up a conversation with a girl in a book store, talk for a few minutes, and you leave with a phone number. It really can be that easy. However, there is one mistake that a lot of guys make when they want to try to meet women using “day game.”

One common mistake guys make when it comes meeting and attracting women in daytime environments is that their goal is to get as many phone numbers as possible. While the majority of time you will leave with a phone number, your mindset and goals should not be to collect a bunch of phone numbers. Those are in itself are not worth much. Can you sleep with a phone number? No! The phone number is merely a logistical tool to communicate with a woman. Nothing more.

Also, women give out their phone number a lot. Sometimes even out of politeness knowing that they will never go out the guy. Other times to blow off the guy in a nice way (with a fake number).

Instead, what you want to have is commitments from women to go out on a date with you. As a result of her committing to see you again, you get her phone number. When you are interacting with a woman (from a cold approach), you want to make plans with her right then and there. Think of setting up the date as the “transaction” and the receipt of it is the phone number.

If a woman is not even willing to commit to see you again, you will know two things right away: she is not attracted to you enough and if you do get her phone number she will not go out with you anyway. The opposite is also true. If she is committed to see you again, you know for sure that she is attracted to you and she wants to see you again.

Now that you understand why getting women committed to see you again is important, here is a simple illustration how to use it. As you are hitting it off with a woman, what you want to do figure out is when she is available to go out with you, e.g. for drinks (make sure it is casual). Pick the day she is free to meet up again and then get her phone number. Below is an example:

Guy: So Jennifer, what are your plans the next couple days?

Girl: I have some plans with friends on Wednesday and Friday, not so sure about Thursday.

Guy: Great, let’s meet up for drinks on Thursday night. I know a great place where they serve really good wine. How do you feel about that?

Girl: Yes, sounds like fun.

Guy: Let me get your phone number and I’ll let you know about the time and place.

Girl: Ok my number is …….

It really is that simple. If you get a lot of flakey phone numbers (meaning you’re trying to meet up with a girl through texts and phone calls, but she doesn’t want to), one of the best ways to fix this problem is by first having women committing to see you again before you get her phone number. Try it and see how you many more dates you will be getting.

If you are interested in meeting women outside bars and clubs, you should definitely check out the book called Daytime Dating by Jeremy Soul. The book is about how to properly meet and attract women in daytime environments and this is one of the techniques discussed in the book. There are more step-by-step tips and techniques for picking up women in daytime environments. Check it out here.