The Pick-Up Diary

A lof of guys make the mistake of asking the girl whether she is single. Most of the girls that go out to clubs and bars are, but they say they have a boyfriend. This normally means one thing – they are not attracted to you (yet).

Girls use this line to weed out guys they don’t like but also to test guys (this is called a shit test). If you react with “Oh! That’s a pity” and leave you’ve have lost.

Instead you should simply ignore this comment and continue with your routines. Just say cool as if she told you her name and start talking about something else.

Don’t mention her “boyfriend” at all! Suppose, she has a boyfriend and you start talking about him in any way (for example asking where he is right now), she will think about him and will feel uncomfortable.

However if you ignore the boyfriend comment and your game is strong enough she will forget about him: lead and she will follow! Trigger her emotions and she will be attracted to you no matter what.

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One of the biggest sticking points is what to say after the Opener and running out of material. The solution to this common problem is Cold Reading.

The first tool you need is a cold read routine for a group, because most sets will likely be groups of girlfriends. Start with a group cold read after your opener.

Here are some examples:

YOU: (Smiling) “You guys are awesome you’re just like the girls from Sex and the City.”

GIRLS: “Oh I love that show…”

(now use what you know about their personalities to fit them into one of the archetypes of the main characters from Sex and the City, give each girl a character)

(point to the responsible or tough one)

YOU: “You’re definitely Samantha because you’re tough and you have you’re stuff together.

(point to the one that seems the most sweet or quiet)

YOU: “You’re Carrie I can just tell because…!”

(point to the target and shake your head and say)

YOU: “And you’re Miranda! Oh, you’re definitely Miranda!”

The women will laugh and say why they are who they are or why they aren’t let them talk about it for a bit and then start your next routine.

Now it’s time to run another Cold Read to win the group over. And I want you to launch into the Best Friends Test (by Neil Strauss aka Style).

YOU: “OK, I have to ask: how long have you guys known each other for? (If you think they’re sisters ask: “Are you guys sisters or best friends?”)

GIRLS: “We’ve known each other forever (or whatever they say)”

YOU: “See, I knew that”

GIRLS: “How could you know that?”

YOU: “I’ll show you. In fact, I’ll give you the best friends test.”

GIRLS: (get all excited)

YOU: “OK… (pretend you’re just about to ask a serious question)

“Do you both use the same shampoo?”

GIRLS: (look at each other and then open their mouths to answer)

YOU: “OK, the answer doesn’t matter, you already passed.”

GIRLS: “Huh?!”

YOU: “See, if you weren’t so close to each other, you’d have kept eye contact with me as you answered. But when two people have a connection, they look at each other first, kind of like you’re doing right now.”

GIRLS: (laugh)

YOU: “See, you don’t even need to say anything to each other. It’s like you just communicate telepathically.”

At this point they should be laughing and loving your company … time to isolate your target and launch into palm reading or astrology cold reads.

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The best way to make an impression is to teach the girl something about herself. The following techniques work extremely well:

1) “The Cube”. Women love all kinds of tests. This personality test invented by the master pick up artist and author Neil Strauss aka Style works like a charm. Read on it on the internet or Strauss’ book called “The Game“.

2) “The 3 Questions Game to Define Your Goal in Life”. This routine invented by Style is about asking the girl what she likes doing most and what kind of feeling she has doing it. The ultimate goal in life is to experience that feeling again and again.

3) Palm reading. This is an instant classic and gets every girl interested in a second. Don’t forget to tell her that has a difficult relationship to her father and an excellent one to her mother.

4) “The Ring Routine”. This routine is about telling her that wearing ring on particular fingers says something about her personality.

5) Cold Reading. This technique is extremely powerful, but you need some experience with people to be successful with it. Cold reading is about guessing what kind of person the girl is and telling her what she wants to hear.

6) Storytelling. In order to attract a girl you need to be able to tell an interesting story. Keep in mind: Telling a story is not about getting to the end, but to demonstrate your charming personality.

7) NLP-Techniques. Neuro-linguistic programming is about playing with thoughts, images and feelings and can be very powerful. Again, you need a lot of experience in this area to be really successful.

8 ) Dream interpretation. Quite popular. The problem here: a lot of people don’t remember their dreams and if they do there are way too much possibilities they can come up with that you can assign to a special interpretation pattern.

9) Handwriting analysis. A bit long winded, but nonetheless effective.

10) Number guessing game. Tell her to pick a number between 1 and 4 (guess that it’s the 3). Then tell her to pick a number between 1 and 10 (take the 7, because most people choose this number). Finally let her pick a number between 1 and 10. This time tell her to multiply the number by 9. Then, she has to add the digits of the outcome and subtract 5. The outcome is always 4.

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A lot of people want to know how to create attraction. So, without further chit-chat, here are the 3 sure-fire ways to create attraction:

1. Be mysterious.

Being mysterious means that you simply don’t reveal everything about yourself. Why is this good? Because the woman generates all sorts of possibilities of what you could be. She equals you with ideas (often fantasies) that she has in her mind.

It’s obvious: when we think there is nothing else to decipher, that all the clues were revealed and that the mystery is solved, we lose interest.

It’s what we don’t know that keeps us fascinated. This is even more important during the initial stages of attraction.

Here is an example of a conversation that generates mystery:

Her – “So what do you do for a living?”

You – “You might be surprised if I told you, but before that, what do you do for work?”

Her – “I do promotional stuff.”

You – “Really? How’s that?”

Her – “Good. I like it.”

You – “I suppose you must have a lot of good stories about the people you deal with.”

Her – “Well, yes, there are some weird people.”

Me – “Of course. You remind me of my friend Kay, who has done promotional work too. One time she was doing a promotion… ” (Launch into an interesting DHV (Demonstration of Higher Value) story).

Instead of answering her question you change the conversation to her favorite topic (herself). Then, launch into an interesting story that communicates your personality and attractiveness, while still not revealing too many personal details about yourself.

The secret is that she has a good time with you in the moment. Then later, when she feels attraction, she will use her imagination to fill in all the blanks.

2. Surpass her expectations.

By dedicating a lot of time to living and arming yourself with life experiences, the people who meet you will be taken aback by finding out more about you.

They will be pleasantly shocked by how interesting and accomplished you are, and a new type of mystery will develop as they question what else lies beneath your surface.

Here’s the same conversation, but this time with focus on developing the second type of mystery:

Her – “So what do you do for a living?”

You – “You might be surprised if I told you. What would you think somebody like me works in?”

Her – “I don’t know…”

You – “Aw, c’mon, what do you mean you don’t know. You must have some idea.”

Her – “Well, I don’t know…I would say you are a student or that you are working with a company.”

You – “Not quite, I’m a skydiving instructor.”

Her – “Wow! Really? I would never have thought.”

You – “Why not?”

Her – “I don’t know…it’s just that you didn’t give the impression of being like that…”

You – “Things aren’t always the way you think.”

Some of you might be saying, “But I don’t skydive… I don’t even do anything that resembles that!”

If this is so, maybe it’s time to add some adventure and new experiences to your life.

Ask yourself, “What is one thing I’ve always wanted to try, but have never gotten around to?”

Will you make plans to try it? It might be a lot of hard work, but you CAN do it.

3. Jealousy

Jealousy is a sneaky emotion. Thoughts of inadequacy and insecurity race through the mind. Knots form as fear and anxiety creep into the stomach. While these feelings are easily identified as negative, when wielded properly in a pickup they can yield shockingly positive results.

The secret to harness this invisible power lies in the commonly held belief that women are bynature driven less by logic and more by their emotions. Even if they meet a great guy, and intellectually recognize that he is cool, interesting, funny, and various other great things, this is by no means a guarantee she will pursue him sexually. She will only do that when her emotions tell her to.

Here’s how you create a jealousy plot line:

You’ve made your approach and opened the group for conversation. You’ve won over her friends and demonstrated to her that you’re different from the other guys. Sure you’ve told a few bad jokes but you’ve also had a few good ones and everyone laughed at them. She is clearly enjoying your company.

The night progresses and the two of you talk more. You find out about her dreams, desires, and passions. There is some light touching between you, but nothing major. She seems reserved to move things forward; you’re being slotted in the friend zone. Already having exchanged contact information, you mention you have to get back to your friends and bid her farewell for now.

She thinks little of it until in her peripheral vision she sees you sitting with the girl in the red dress. “Who does she think she is?” she wonders. “Giggling at his jokes and flipping her hair back like that.” Suddenly she feels the knot forming in her stomach. Her emotions are warning her she may be losing something she desires. And thus the switch has been flipped. Her emotions do not lie: She desires you.

You return with a smile to discuss one of the open loops left in your conversation from earlier. She is thrilled to have you back. A new energy exists behind the interaction. Now, when you touch her, your touch is reciprocated. Your escalation is welcomed and desired. Now, she is even laughing at your bad jokes. It’s on. Your plot line was played to perfection.

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Every approach begins with an opener, the springboard to start a conversation. This early moment sets the tone for the interaction and breaks the ice.

Any bullet-proof opener will help you achieve three goals:

1. It’s an un-threatening approach to open the person or group up for having a conversation

2. It stirs up curiosity and captures the person or group’s imagination

3. It’s a springboard for additional follow-up conversational threads

What Makes an Opener “bullet-proof”?

There a few ingredients that allow you to approach smoothly without seeming awkward and give you a built-in “safety net” to eject if necessary. Here are the ingredients:

1. ROOT – The first question that runs through anyone’s mind who is approached by a stranger is this:

“Why is this guy talking to me? What does he want?”

The root in an opener communicates from the beginning WHY you are talking to the person. It explains the reason of your approach.

2. TIME CONSTRAINT – The second question that crosses the mind of anyone who is approached:

“How long do I have to talk to this guy? When will he leave again?”

(She obviously doesn’t know yet how interesting you really are :)) By embedding a time constraint in your opener, you will answer this question from the beginning. A time constraint looks like this:

“I have only a minute. I’m already late for a meeting.” It also has a second advantage. If you

need to eject, you can, say at any time: “I have to run. Pleasure meeting you.”

3. OPEN-ENDED Question. If you ask a Yes/No question it will be a VERY short conversation. Posing questions that elicit a longer response will give you more opportunities to start another conversational thread and more time to think.

Here’s an example of a bullet-proof opinion opener:

You: Hey guys, let me get your opinion on something. I’m trying to help my friend and I’d like to get a female opinion. (This is the root explaining why you are asking the question)

Group of Girls: What?

You: Okay, I’ve only got a minute. Do you follow the advice given to you by your horoscopes? I have a reason for asking. Let me just get your opinions then I’ll tell you why I’m asking.

(There’s the time constraint and the open ended question)

Group of Girls: …

(Sometimes this will already start a conversation. But there is more. The second part of this opener transitions into a little story)

You: The reason I’m asking is because my friend met a girl at a party last weekend, who said that her horoscope told her that she would meet her future husband. They actually hooked up. Now, the strange thing is, ever since then, my friend can’t stop thinking of her. He always wants to hang out with this girl, 24/7. He says he’s in love with her. Do you think it’s the horoscope’s prediction or just psychology?

Group of Girls: …

(This will lead to conversations about astrology, destiny and a lot of other topics.)

Keep in mind: A good opener is NOT just about the words you say but about HOW you communicate in these 4 levels:

Level 1: The words that you say.

Level 2: The vocal intonation you use.

Level 3: The type of eye contact, facial expression, gestures, and body language you display.

Level 4: The attitude you are feeling, and the energy you are projecting.

What does that mean?

It means just because you know the WORDS, does not mean you can USE the opener. It comes down to PRACTICE and REPETITION.

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Many people find themselves having trouble communicating over the loud, repetitive sounds of the night club. If you’re not used to the noise it can be hard to think, let alone communicate!

This exercise is an easy way for any guy and his wing to overcome the deafening noise of the nightclub.

Level 1: Get Comfortable in the Noise

First you’ll need a stereo that can really blast some music (the stereo in your car will work for

the Level 1 exercise.) Put on something loud, anything from bumping club music to grinding

death metal will do. Blast the music. Stand about 10 ft away from a friend and simply talk about anything for 5 to 10 minutes.

Get comfortable with thinking and speaking over loud music. It doesn’t matter at this point if the other person understands what you are saying. What matters is that you can keep on track and tell a story all the way through, over the music.

Repeat this exercise 4 times over the course of a week and you will find yourself to be much more comfortable around loud music.

Level 2: Storytelling and Listening

Write up, find, or memorize a story that your partner has never heard before. Stand across from each other and crank the music up. One of you will be the storyteller and the other will be the listener. The storyteller will try to communicate his story over the blasting music. The listener will try to figure out what the story is all about.

Once the storyteller is finished telling his tale, turn the music down. Now, the listener will

explain what he believes the story was all about. If his version of the story is way off, then the storyteller needs to change how he expresses his story.

The storyteller and listener should discuss ways that you could use your body language and

tonality to more accurately tell the story. Use your hands, make gestures, or change your facial expressions to match feelings or events in the story. Emphasize specific words that are important to the meaning of the story. Find parts of the story where you can throw in some kino. Tell the story again. Then change roles.

There are two lessons for this exercise. The first lesson is how to communicate an entire story to a group of people in a loud night club so that the listeners get the point.

The second lesson is how to listen to and interpret a story in a loud environment. This is especially important when a girl is telling you a story. The more you can hear, the better your response could be.

One of the worst things you can do in a noisy club is to “peck” when you can’t hear what someone is saying. When you can’t hear someone, most guys will lean in closer to the speaker.

Some men even think this is a positive form of kino because they can use the noise as an excuse to get close to the lady. However, by repeatedly leaning in, you resemble a ravenous chicken, pecking at feed in the chicken coop. It looks bad and it conveys lower value.

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There are a lot of dating myths out in the world that are false. Here’s Savoy’s Top 3 List:

1. Women want a nice guy.

You have heard and seen this plenty of times; Women saying they all want to date a nice guy, but then they all end up dating the jerk or bad boy. This paradox is as old as the Earth.

Women do want someone who can be nice to them, but also someone who can push their buttons and has strong boundaries. Nice guy lack the latter and that is why especially beautiful women don’t end up dating the nice guy. If you are one of the nice guys, try to tease girls more and fooling around with them. It sounds counterintuitive, but it works.

2. Dating should be fair.

This is a big one. It goes like this: “I shouldn’t be doing all the pursuing and all the work, dating should be fair”. If you recognize yourself, stop right now.

In the dating world, the guy has to be proactive about it. Just accept this. You can’t expect for women to approach you and seduce you. When one does, it’s most likely a pro (not a professional!).

You can also look at it differently. You have the option to pick the women you want to date. You are the one exercising the freedom of picking. Women don’t. They have to go through a lot of chumps and unfortunately sometimes they still can’t find the right guy.

3. Women hate to be approached.

There is this myth out there that says women hate to be approached. Nothing couldn’t be further from the truth. Why do you think it takes hours for women to get ready to go out at night? If friends want to have a conversation over a glass of wine, they can do that at home too.

Another popular excuse women use is so they can “dance.” Another excuse to masquerade why women really go out. The real reason women go out is to find a guy, just like you go out to find a girl. Don’t let these excuses women give fool you. The next time you see women out, keep in mind that they want to be approached and swept away. You can be that guy.

One of the reasons this myth is so established is because a lot of guys have no clue how to approach women and they do it in a terrible fashion. For example, using a pickup line does not work and it is the fastest way to get rejected. Instead, with the right fashion, body language, and the right thing to say you can start enjoying conversations with beautiful women.

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Imagine right now that you see an attractive woman standing at the bar in a night club.

She is smoking hot. Just your type with long legs, beautiful bouncy breasts, curves, shiny flowing hair, gorgeous piercing eyes.

You approach and open her with the “80’s Dogs Names Opener.” She’s listening and smiling, all is going perfect!

She responds to your opener and she has a silky voice that oozes sex appeal, she smells of creamy vanilla. Her laugh makes your heart pound like a heavy metal kick drum. She’s witty and playful.

You want her…for sure!

You run the “5 Questions Game” as your DHV (Demonstration of Higher Value). It goes over wonderfully! She lightly touches your arm…an IOI (Indicator Of Interest)! You toss a DQ (DisQualifier), smiling while saying “Hey, you can look, but don’t touch the merchandise.”

She flips her hair back another IOI!

You move her to isolation on the smoking patio. You run “The Cube” to build comfort.

Next you use “Style’s Elicit Values Routine” and qualify her. You’ve played your game perfectly up to this point. And then…

…YOU GET STUCK.

You run out of material. Your perfect sarge starts to fall apart.

She starts to become unsure of why she’s here with you. She tries to elicit value from you to feel more comfortable about her choice. She needs answers. She needs to know more about you before she’ll let you kiss her luscious soft cherry lips.

“Who is this guy really?” she wonders.

You might remember Style’s words from “The Game:”

“What most of us present to the world isn’t necessarily our true self: It’s a combination of years of bad habits and fear-based behavior. Our real self lies buried underneath all the insecurities and inhibitions. So rather than just being yourself, focus on discovering and permanently bringing to the surface your best self.”

So here is Style’s wisdom: “We all have an idea of who we want to be. The sad truth is that most people never get there. They don’t get to live life to the fullest being their bestselves because they don’t focus on it. The first step is realizing your goals and making them real. Write your goals down. That’s the first step.”

Writing your goals down is a way of making them more real. It’s the first small step to making a commitment to yourself that you will get better. So, just write down your goals down and you will be on your way to become your best self and finally will not get stuck as you will be your own DHV just by existing!

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Relationship management is a crucial topic to improve your long-term success with women – unless all you want out of your relationships with women is drama and one night stands.

Relationship management encompasses everything you do after you sleep with someone, but, like many phases earlier in the model, your success is dependent on the groundwork you’d laid earlier. Just as what you did in comfort influences your chances in seduction, what you did in qualification, comfort, and seduction influence what will be possible in relationship management.

And a lot is possible. Anything from a long-term committed relationship to dating multiple women to friends with benefits; it’s all possible if you have the skills and know what to do. Much of what is regarded today as obvious was once highly controversial before I came along. For example:

-You literally never have to lie to get what you want, even if you want to date more than one woman at a time.

-99% of all relationships fall into six major categories. Which pattern your relationship falls into determines where you can go with it.

-Relationship management begins before you even sleep with her the first time.

You have many relationships in your life. You have a professional relationship with your boss, you have a fraternal relationship with your brother, and you probably have a dating or a “friends with benefits” relationship with at least one woman in your life.

So, when we talk about relationships and relationship management, we are assuming that you and a woman are boyfriend-girlfriend. Relationship management refers to the frame in which you and a woman are interacting.

Relationship management begins well before you sleep with her, but most of the important work comes after. Commonly, men only start thinking about relationship management after sex is over: “I slept with her; what do I do now?” It’s a rookie mistake to leave it so long, because a little bit of work to set the frame during comfort goes a long way afterward. But we’ll cover this later.

For now, let’s start by looking at some of the basic relationship types:

Traditional: One boy, one girl, no one dates anyone else.

Traditional Plus: Like traditional, but sometimes you involve other people in your sex life (not your emotional life). Usually this is when both you and her enjoy threesomes with other women.

Open: Your primary emotional commitment is to each other, but you are both free to date other people. Open relationships vary in intensity: some are much like Traditional Plus relationships while others are far more casual.

Multiple: You have a strong commitment to each other, but nothing theoretically limits what you can do with others.

Dating / Undefined: The rules of what you’re doing and where you’re going are unclear, but there is no explicit commitment. Often early in your relationship and usually the case before you sleep together.

Friends with Benefits: No significant emotional commitment. Relationship is primarily sexual.

As you can probably see, these relationship types are ranked in decreasing order of commitment. Drilling down, we see that there are pretty clear distinctions between the types, in which you are #1 to each other, the middle two, in which this may be more ambiguous, and the lower two, in which there should be no expectations at all. For simplicity’s sake, we will call these three groups High Commitment, Medium Commitment, and Low Commitment.

What you seek is a matter of preference. There is nothing inherently superior about one relationship goal over another. It depends on your desires, her desires, where you are in your life, and all kinds of other factors.

That being said, many of you are going to skip straight to the Multiple Relationships section. That’s fine if that’s what you truly want. But pause for a second and truly consider things. Don’t just want something because it feels socially impressive or some of the top Pickup Artists in the world want it. It’s a lot more work than it seems. Many of the top names in the “Seduction Community” have never pulled this off successfully, despite their marketing propaganda.

Whatever your relationship goals, there are some key points to keep in mind:

The type of relationship you have with a woman can and usually will change over time. In general, it’s easiest to move within a given Commitment level (from “Multiple” to “Open” Relationship or from “Dating/Undefined” to “Friends with Benefits” for example). Moving between Commitment levels is much harder. You can sometimes move up, but rarely down. Moving down usually requires a breakup first, and a period of no relationship. After that, you can try to re-establish a relationship, but often all you will be able to get is Friends with Benefits. This happens between ex-boyfriends and ex-girlfriends more than many people think.

While you can get away with trying to move to your desired relationship type after you’ve already had sex with her, this compromises your effectiveness in a couple of ways. For one thing, if she gets the sense that you don’t have much of an idea about what it is that you want, this could turn her off and you’ll never get to sex in the first place. In addition, you will be far more effective at bringing her to your desired relationship type if you are able to implicitly set the right expectations in advance. It’s not like she won’t think about it just because you’re not giving her anything to go on. She’ll think about it anyway, and she’ll let her conclusions be driven by her own assumptions and preferences. These will be a lot harder to change later.

It’s a cliche, but communication is key to a relationship. It’s not enough to act like you’re in a specific kind of relationship with someone; it must be communicated and agreed on by both of you, whether explicitly or implicitly. Again, playing the “ambiguity game” won’t help you much. Women want to know what’s going on. If you don’t make an effort to communicate this somehow, even indirectly, she’ll try to interpret (or end up misinterpreting) what you do communicate and you may well end up with differing ideas about where your relationship is going. Do I need to tell you that this is a bad idea?

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It’s Sunday afternoon. You met a great woman on Friday or Saturday night. You opened, you created attraction, you qualified, and then you started to build comfort. The situation wasn’t right for you to take it further, so you casually invited her to join you for some exciting event on Monday. She gave you her number. You phone. It rings a few times and goes to her voicemail. You leave a message. She doesn’t call you back. It’s now Tuesday. What do you do?

1. Maybe call her again next week, but that’s it. You need to have the frame that you have lots of women interested in you and are busy, or else she won’t stay attracted to you anyway.

2. Call or text every day or two with a variety of different approaches, to see if any of them make an impact. Delete the number after a few weeks if you don’t get anywhere.

3. Call every day until she answers. Once in a while call three times in a row to see if that works. After a week or so, drop back to once a week or so. Don’t give up until YOU are no longer interested.

What’s the right answer? Don’t look ahead…

Actually, any of them could be the right answer. In the right context, all of these are okay. Too many beginners are too inflexible with the frame that “I have value… she has to come to me” and default to (1). Yes, this is a good frame, and it’s important. However, sometimes you need to do a little bit of pursuing as well.

Why is this? If you obviously have value, why should you have to pursue a woman? Why does she want you to? In short, it’s because this shows that you are genuinely interested in her. In fact, the more value you have, or appear to have, the more a woman will want to see you put in a bit of genuine effort to pursue her. She recognizes that you can have easy conquests, and she doesn’t want to be easy.

Why else? Some women are simply flaky and scatterbrained (so are some men). She may adore you, but you called when she was having dinner, and then she met up with a friend, and now it’s the next day, and she could call you, but now she’s distracted and, anyway, if you’re really interested in her you’ll call again, right?

Why else? She wants to play the traditional female role of being chased. It’s exciting for her, and built into millennia of social programming. It’s not a great frame for men to be in, which is why we short-circuit it when we first meet a woman by disqualifying ourselves during the attraction phase. That’s easy in public, where you can plausibly start a random conversation with an attractive woman without being interested in her (until she wins you over, of course…). It’s not easy on the phone. By calling, you are confirming your interest. That’s why it’s so important to qualify her when you first meet, so she feels comfortable with your interest in her, but it does mean that you might feel a little bit of “back to square one” on the telephone. So, yes, she may make you work for it by not returning your phone call. Don’t take it personally.

Why else? Some women are taught “not to call guys.” Yes, it’s pretty silly, but there is just as much silly dating advice for women as there is for men. There’s nothing you can do about this. Call them. You can fix their silly ideas later.

Now, we covered ages ago some of the crucial tactics for making sure that she does answer the phone when you call (programming your number into her phone, telling her when you’re going to call, planning a specific event, making her verbalize some anti-flake routines, texting/calling that night, etc.) as well as how to leave a message (leave hooks, cut yourself off, etc.) so we’ll assume that you’ve done all of this, and are still not getting her on the phone. You can give up, of course, and focus your energies on new women. This is totally fine. But you can also set aside a few minutes a day with your “cold” phone numbers and do some of this:

· Vary the time of day when you call. Morning, afternoon, evening, night. If you’re getting nowhere, try calling at 1am. You’ll wake her up, so make sure you can be immediately entertaining from the second she answers. (Start with a high-energy, funny, short routine. Don’t even introduce yourself.)

· Call from different numbers.

· Try sending text messages – some people simply prefer these to phone calls.

· Don’t ever acknowledge that you are calling and she isn’t returning your calls. Adopt the frame – to yourself – that she is just a flaky woman and it’s kind of cute. Don’t let it cross your mind that she might not actually be interested in you.

· Don’t ever say “this is the last time I’m calling” or “I’m calling to leave you another message” – see above. And if you do get her on the phone, don’t even bring up the subject of your previous calls or texts.

· If you phone, and it goes directly to voicemail (and doesn’t ring at all), hang up. You got a free pass. If it doesn’t ring, it won’t show up as a missed call on her phone. She won’t see that you called. If it does ring, leave a message.

On the other hand, don’t turn “pursuing” into “chasing.” If she tells you not to call, stop calling. Don’t be creepy.

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