The Pick-Up Diary

If meeting women in the daytime is something you’re interested in then this primer is for you. It contains the basic information on day game – what you need to know to get out there and start meeting people outside of a nightclub environment…

Opening:

Give a direct opener a try: ‘Excuse me, I saw you from over there. And I’d regret it all day if I didn’t come met you. Because you look absolutely gorgeous (extend hand to shake): Hi, I’m …, what’s your name?’
Direct openers like this usually open quite strongly and provide a good platform for you to launch the conversation from. At the very least, it’s nice to say nice things to people – it’ll make you feel good and give her positive emotions too.

There’s nothing wrong with starting a conversation in another style such as indirect, functional, comedic etc. There are lots of examples of these types of openers online and you’ll want to come up with your own as the situation dictates. Here are a few to get you started:

– ‘Hey do you know where the nearest Starbucks is?’
– She’s wearing head/earphones: ‘What are you listening to? I’m bored of my current playlist’ – take her iPod and start teasing/appreciating her playlist.
– She’s in a shop or coffee house, deliver with comedy: ‘I saw you from out there and had to come meet you. I just couldn’t let a pane of glass stand between us and true love.’

A Common Trap With Direct Openers:

Don’t try to solicit a reaction. So many guys get addicted to the big, gushing reactions that you will occasionally get from your direct approaches and ‘look’ for it every time. Instead of being an expression of their personality and core intent, the direct opener becomes a tool to chase a reaction. They deliver it and wait for the big WOW! It’s approval-seeking and not attractive.

Try this frame: Her beauty/vibe/aura moved you to approach. Something in your core just said ‘yes’. So you’re going to go meet her, express your core and see if she’s the kind of girl you might connect with and would like in your life. Self-expression, without the need for approval, mixed with a curious fascination for her as a unique creature.

Transition to Conversation:

After opening, stack and cycle through the following transition material until you find a topic that you’re both interested in and can naturally talk about together. Perhaps you both enjoy traveling or you both like the movies of a certain director.

To that end, here are three content-questions that you can ask to mine for a click topic:

1)What are doing in London/Oslo/Melrose today? (this also allows you to find out how much time you might have to talk. If she’s rushing to meet friends, better go for the number. If she’s just ‘shopping’, you might try for an instant-date later in the conversation)

2)What do you do for a living?

3)What do you do for fun?

These can either be delivered statement/question or question/statement. In other words, you might start by talking about what you’re doing in central London and then ask her what she’s up to (statement/question). Or you might ask her first and then answer your own question when she’s done (question/statement). Either way, be prepared to supply the initial content and energy of the interaction.

It’s not unusual for a person to be a little on-guard when approached by a stranger in the street or a coffee shop and give quite short answers. Allow her initial shyness, she’ll warm up as your statements build comfort and convey your attractive personality.

Another conversation technique is to talk about a character trait you enjoy, explain why you enjoy it and then ask her if she has it. This ‘soft qualification’ is a great way to add value to a conversation and qualify in a high-value way. The more astute among you may recognize some sexual framing in this material also.

For example:

‘I really like people who travel, I love to travel myself. There’s something about people who travel. There’s an open-mindedness to new experiences and a non-judgmental quality that I really like. Do you like to travel?’
‘I like to surround myself with creative people. They have an energy and a fresh way of looking at life that really energizes me. What do you do for fun?’

If you can’t find a click topic, consider that perhaps the two of you have nothing to click on and are better off moving on to meet other people. With practice, however, you’ll find you can find a way to connect with almost anyone you meet. Remember to listen with curiosity and interest.

Thoughts on Conversation:

All the principles of social interaction you’ll find in Magic Bullets and the other materials are relevant here. On top of these, focuse on glimpsing the girl underneath her social facade and being open enough for her to get a glimpse of you under yours.

It’s easy to view interactions with girls as a ‘game’ in which you say certain things, touch your ‘target’ in a certain way to either win or lose the game. This kind of thinking serves to dehumanize the girl who is, after all, a unique person just like you. What if the simple meeting of both of your personalities, opinions and experiences could provide enough content for an attractive, successful conversation?

Don’t forget to be fun and humorous. Tease a little to inject some spice, have fun with the conversation. There’s no need to be intense and serious all the time – in fact, this can be quite creepy! Try a fun role play or future projection, experiment with the attraction materials in Magic Bullets to spice things up. Beware of making these the focus of your content though, remember that you and her are enough to have a great conversation.

Find your own style of interaction. When you meet a man who is successful with girls, by all means copy his style but only to gain an understanding of the underlying principles that make him so successful. Don’t be a clone, you’ll get much better results as a great version of you.
Taking Things Further:

Where can you take the conversation after you’re clicking and enjoying one another? Depending on the logistics of the situation, you might try these options:

– suggest a future meeting and exchange contact details.
– suggest going to get a coffee right then and there.

Conclusion:

The skill of meeting people and having great conversations is a vast one with room for a lifetime of learning and experimentation. It’s a lot of fun and comes with lots of benefits, not least all of the beautiful women you’ll meet!

With this basic information you’ve got all you need to start meeting girls in the daytime. The most important thing you could do with what you’ve read is start applying it in real conversations.

To find out more information on day game, check out this audio download by day game experts Jeremy Soul and Bonsai from Love Systems. The first 10 minutes are free.

If you want to take a girl home, there are certain things you have to be aware of. Here are four tips for closing at her place:

1) Find out where she lives.

This step seems obvious, but you’d be surprised how often it is unintentionally left out. When you know where a woman lives, you can plan ahead to deal with the logistical problems you’re going to hit later.
Does she live near the venue? Does she have a roommate? Is she in a dorm? Do you know of a cool bar/after hours joint near her place? When you want to bounce her back there, are you going to drive, walk, or take a cab? Even if you end up with a phone number + date instead of going home with her, this info will be useful for when you go out again.

A few scenarios to consider and how to deal with them:

– Roommates: When there is a separate bedroom to retreat to, sacrificing a few minutes of conversation to win over the roommate(s) will make your being there a lot more comfortable. After they trust you, you can use any nonsense reason to bounce your girl to her bedroom. “Bet my room is cleaner than yours,” is one example.

– Cab ride: If she lives a cab ride away, be sure to keep up the momentum in the car, and continue to build up physical intimacy. If you were touching her arm in the bar, touch her leg in the cab. If you were about to make out in the bar, make out in the cab. Avoid cabs with bucket seats that make physical contact impossible.
– Dorm: If there’s a security guard, you can go through the lengthy (and vibe-killing) process of giving him your ID and signing in, or you can tell the girl to slide her card through and sneak in behind her. You get points for being resourceful, and it’s exciting because it seems like you’re doing something wrong.

– Shared bedroom: There are public bathrooms in dorms and hotels that I have found very accommodating when dealing with shared room situations. Be sure and scan for them when entering, and when it’s time to bounce to it, tell the girl that you’re “taking her on a field trip.”

2) Amp up the physical tension.

If you can get a girl sexually excited, then she’s going to want to bring you to a place where you can have sex as quickly as humanly possible. Here are a few quick pointers to get you started:
– Always end a touch or kiss before they do/want you to.
– Drop the topic of sex into conversation (in a light, joking way) as quickly as possible.
– Start touching the way you’d touch your boss and build to the way you’d touch a girlfriend.

3) “Let’s get you home.”

It’s easy to think of reasons to give a woman why she has to come back to your place. Keep it simple. “Let me show you that book I was talking about,” is perfect. It gives her plausible deniability and doesn’t tip your hand.

It’s harder to do this with her place. “Do you want to take me home with you?” makes you sound like a stray dog, not a man. “Let’s go to your place” is totally cliché thanks to every movie from the 1970s. “Let’s get out of here” is great if it’s obvious and explicit that she wants to have sex, but if you’re still flying a bit under the radar or her friends are around, you’re going to need something a little more subtle.
Instead, take the lead with “let’s get you home.” It’s a little dominant, it shows you know how to lead, but it also doesn’t trigger state breaks. If her friends are around, it implies that you are just going to make sure that she gets home safe. She shouldn’t feel any pressure since there’s really nothing implied. And if nothing’s going to happen, then there’s no reason she can’t bail on her friends, right?

(If you don’t remember state breaks, review Chapter 10 of Magic Bullets now. If you haven’t read Magic Bullets, get it. It’s the official Love Systems guide to meeting and attracting women, and where most successful guys start.)

4) Assume you’re going upstairs.

There’s nothing more awkward than walking a woman home and standing there silent for an eternity waiting for her to invite you up. Avoid this situation by assuming that she’ll be bringing you upstairs. Do not pause by the door. Do not say “Well, it was nice hanging out with you.” Keep the momentum of the interaction going as though you are still in the process of hanging out. If she has to invite you in, that’s risking a state break. Of course, there will be times when she suggests that you don’t come up, either because she doesn’t want to appear easy, or because she thinks letting you upstairs is an implicit agreement that you’ll be sleeping together. You can usually defuse this by giving yourself a bedtime. “I’ve got work in the morning, so I can only come up for a little bit” is one of my favorites. Say this before she even gets a chance to tell you why you can’t come in – like you coming in is a foregone conclusion.

To find out more information on closing at the girl’s place or getting a girl from the venue back to your place, check out the Love Systems interview series on Logistics. You can listen to the first 10 minutes for FREE!

Pick-Up instructor Sheriff has a special technique to identify sticking points. He suggests to take a piece of paper and write “I see a hot girl” at the top of it. At the bottom you have to write: “we start having sex”.

Your goal now is to fill in a plausible and detailed explanation of how you got from seeing this chick to sleeping with her. Whenever you get to a point where you’re not sure what to write, you’ve found a sticking point. The idea here is to know the plausible next step. So, here are the key points:

– Write personal, detailed, and fictional descriptions of how you went from seeing a girl to sleeping with her to help you get the process straight in your head, and identify your weak points

– Ask for advice any time you find yourself having trouble writing plausible dialogue or action sequences

– The point isn’t to prescript the interaction, the point is to identify your sticking points in getting from A to B – it won’t ever go down the way you planned anyway

– Don’t accept wishy-washy advice that doesn’t come with plausible detailed examples

To find out more on overcoming sticking points, check out the interview series on sticking points. You can listen to the first 10 minutes for FREE!

One common weakness in a guy’s game is passing tests women give them. Those “tests” are questions that girls will throw at you to see if you walk the walk as well as talk the talk. The reason girls do this is because a lot of guys can be confident on the approach and play a good poker face the whole way through the interaction, but later down the line the cracks start to show and the confident guy she thought he was is actually not that guy at all.

So girls throw these tests at us to separate the men from the boys, and a lot of the time the girl doesn’t even know she’s doing it. In summary, a shit test is a way of the girl finding out whether we are the real deal or just another hopeful trying to get into her pants. In other words, it’s a way to select the right guy.

A lot of the time when a girl is throwing out these tests is because she’s had a lot of guys hit on her that day/night/week/month/year/lifetime and has had enough of wasting her time on giving 10 minutes to everyone of the 95% of guys who haven’t got a chance. Imagine you had 20 fat chicks a day coming up and hitting on you, you’ll be nice to the first 2 or 3, then you’d probably start asking abrupt questions to filter out the ones that are actually cool enough to talk to.

Some examples of tests a girl might throw at you are:

-Why are you talking to me?
-Are you gay?
-Buy me a drink
-Who are you, do I know you?
-Is that your best pick-up line?

The 95% of guys that she’s filtering out will respond with things like:

Her: Why are you talking to me?
Guy: Oh well uh, I just thought you were really hot so wanted to say hi but I can go if you want

or

Her: Are you gay?
Guy: No I’m not gay why do you think that?

or

Her: Buy me a drink
Guy: Ok what do you want?

You probably can see why girls want to filter these guys out.

How to Pass a Test:

The best way to pass a test is to playfully ‘Agree & Exaggerate’ with what she says. For example:

Her: Are you gay?
You: I’m not gay but my boyfriend is

or

Her: Are you gay?
You: Well I don’t make eye contact when I give head, and as long as you don’t make eye contact it doesn’t count

Her: Buy me a drink
You: I’ll buy you a thousand drinks but you buy me one first

Her: Why are you talking to me?
You: I forgot there was a no talking policy at this club (while at a bar or nightclub)

or

Her: Why are you talking to me?
You: I told mum I was going to (bar or club you’re at) tonight to hopefully get married

Her: Is that a pick-up line?
(If she does say that the question/thing you said is probably too ‘gamey’, make sure you don’t come across with that weird community guy vibe or you’ll get called out a lot)
You: Yeah, now your turn

or

Her: Is that a pick-up line?
You: No, (take some ice out of your drink, drop it on the floor and step on it) now that I’ve broken the ice what’s your name?…That’s a pick up line.

Make sure that you’re coming across playfully, so smile to make it clear you’re not being serious after. Otherwise saying ‘I’m not gay but my boyfriend is’ or ‘I told mum I was going to (bar or club you’re at) tonight to hopefully get married’ in a serious tone and not smiling, it could work, but if you don’t play it off right you will be put in the weird guy box.

The way agreeing and exaggerating works is it is basically being sarcastic, so you’re making her comment sound stupid and turn it back on her being the one saying the weird things. Then you just transition on to something new, so if it’s off the bat and she throws a test I’ll agree & exaggerate, then (as long as she responds well which she should do if you do it right) transition with ‘so what’s your name’ or ‘what’s the occasion’ for example. As long as you’re doing it right you’ll see the attraction shoot up after you put it back on her.

Remember – ‘Agree & Exaggerate’ and make sure you play it off right, then transition and tests will no longer be an issue!

To learn more on how to handle the different tests women give you (even when you’re in a relationship) check out the audio download on the Love Systems Website. You can listen to the first ten minutes for FREE!

My Name is Steve Wells and this is my first post in this brand-new blog. As a freelance journalist I have written more than 30 articles dealing with the problem how to get better with women (which are free and can be found on ezinearticles.com). The idea behind this blog is to share my thoughts on this subject on a regular, daily basis.

By now, nearly everyone seems to know the book called “The Game” by Neil Strauss. If you’re not everyone, here’s a summary what this book is about. Since this book is what got me into the pickup community, I would like to start this blog with an excerpt from “The Game”:

“The moment I started reading, my life changed. More than any other book or document—be it the Bible, Crime and Punishment, or The Joy of Cooking—the layguide opened my eyes. And not necessarily because of the information in it, but because of the path it sent me hurtling down. When I look back on my teenage years, I have one major regret, and it has nothing to do with not studying hard enough, not being nice to my mother, or crashing my father’s car into a public bus. It is simply that I didn’t fool around with enough girls. I am a deep man—I reread James Joyce’s Ulysses every three years for fun. I consider myself reasonably intuitive. I am at the core a good person, and I try to avoid hurting others. But I can’t seem to evolve to the next state of being because I spend far too much time thinking about women…”

– Neil Strauss, The Game, 2005, p. 9

In my opinion, the last sentence is crucial. A lot of guys that find themselves in the pickup community are pretty smart guys – guys that think a lot. Probably you are one of them. But as we all know thinking is only one side of the coin. The other one? Taking action! And this is where most of the guys fail. Or, actually, they don’t. Because they don’t even try! The reason for this is quite obvious: It’s much easier to read all the stuff, watch all the DVDs that make you feel great and lull you – instead of going out and learning in real life. You don’t have to deal with rejection, with “shit tests”, with competitors – you don’t have to deal with life! Because that’s what life is about. Those are problems that you have to be able to solve if you want to make it in life. And let’s be real – it’s not nuclear science – you can solve these problems. And even have fun doing so. So, instead of reading all the pickup material you can get, I – as many before – recommend to go out and practice. Because it’s the most effective way to solve the problem called “I’m simply not good with girls”.

To close this post, some advice from the master himself:

Neil Strauss on things you need to convey to attract women

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