The Pick-Up Diary

ABC’s Nightline show infiltrated Love Systems’ annual Super Conference to see if the dating tips and techniques actually work. There is cutting edge hidden footage of dating coaches picking up women and breaking down how it all happened. Plus how you can do it yourself.

Here’s the link for the video:

Love Systems Conference

Unfortunately the TV crew escorted out of the seminar room at one point, but because the attendees were about to see how one of the coaches took a girl home in under 5 minutes and broke it down how he did it. All the teachings of the company are based on the founder’s book called Magic Bullets. Grab your copy here.

Attractive women on a daily basis have dozens of men come up to them and validate their beauty with compliments and sometimes gifts. It gets so that women find this boring or

even annoying.

Some women even develop tactics that help them weed through this multitude of boring nice guys just attracted to them for their looks. I mean I can’t blame them because I could

see how all those AFCs would get super boring.

The women get tough and test guys with attitude. In a manner of speaking this is the female way of Disqualifying and Qualifying men. They play the GAME too.

Disqualifying a woman allows you to show her that you aren’t like all the other guys who are just attracted to her for her looks. It lets her work for your attraction. It sets you up as a

PUA to allow her to display something more about herself for you to be attracted to other than her looks.

So now that you understand the concept let’s look at some methods to DQ:

1. Ignoring the target and spending more time speaking to her friends is a good way to start.

2. Disagreeing with a woman’s opinion on an item to show her you won’t cave your ideals to hers just because she’s attractive.

3. Teasing a woman with a playful joke like saying “You don’t get out much do you?” Remember always smile when you tease. Sometimes these types of DQs are called “pebbles.”

4. Letting a woman know that their is something about her that prohibits you from dating her. Such as “You’re a Scorpio? I never date Scorpios…dram, drama, drama.” Remember to

smile.

5. Or simply implying that you are spoken for: “My girlfriend would like your dress.”

When you use a DQ be sure to not wait for your target to react. It’s important that she perceives it as something you just casually say and didn’t over-think or plan out.

If the DQ is more of a tease that could come off as an insult you should always smile. Smiling allows the target to know that you are not fully serious. You’re just flirting…that’s what the smile says.

The 10 Best Disqualifiers (DQs):

1. “You should go back to your friends. I think the kids at the nerd table really miss you.”

2. “I bet you were the type of kid that always got spaghetti sauce all over your face.”

3. “Note to self: Do not date this girl.” (pretend to take a note on your hand)

4. “I bet there are tons of guys waiting to meet you on the Internet.”

5. “I don’t let women like you into my house without a background check first.”

6. “You are so bad at being pretty.”

7. “Check this girl out. She’s amazing, and so bright and funny. Would you believe she’s never had a date?”

8. “Yeah, you’re like the coolest girl I’ve met in this location in the last 2 minutes.”

9. “You are such a dork, it’s really adorable.”

10. “You’re such a nice girl. I really shouldn’t even be talking to you.”

In order to make a woman feel attracted to you, you have to flip some switches – sooner or later. Here are the main ones:

1. You must show her that you’re safe. Trust is an important issue for most women. This must be demonstrated. So switch #1: SAFETY and TRUST.

2. You must show her that you have either job, security, motivation, or ambition. In other
words, you must have a life and goals. So switch #2 is demonstrating to her that you have STABILITY and AMBITION. You don’t have to be successful, you just have to show the potential to be successful.

3. You must show her that you’re different than the other guys, that you are not generic or boring, that she can learn something from you or grow with you, that you have a sense of adventure or creativity or spirituality. So switch #3 is showing her that you have something to offer, even if you don’t give it to her in the moment. This is where DHVs (demonstrations of higher value) are useful.

4. You must be the prize of the room. She wants a guy others will envy her for, that she can brag about to her friends.This is where social proof comes in, where story-telling comes in. It’s also where alpha qualities come in, and not supplicating. So switch #4 is demonstrating all of the many qualities of: CONFIDENCE, LEADERSHIP, AUTHORITY, and POPULARITY.

5. It’s a big world and we all feel alone in it, so if you can demonstrate that you UNDERSTAND her and where she comes from, she will feel chemistry. This can largely be done through demonstrating either cultural, mental, emotional, world view, humor, or life/background commonalities. The more obscure and rare a trait that you connect
on, the more chemistry you create. So Switch #5 is demonstrating COMMONALITIES in order to trigger CHEMISTRY.

6. You need an aura of depth and mystery. You must maybe show a vulnerable or wounded side of yourself, you must not give away everything for free, you must be a puzzle she wants to figure out and maybe even have a wound she can heal. Switch #6 then is hooking her with your DEPTH and MYSTERY.

7. You must show her that you are NOT horny, but sexual. This is where social proof comes in too, also demonstrating an understanding of her world (liking her for who SHE is). So switch #7 is demonstrating your own LACK OF DESPERATION while showing her that you recognize something SPECIAL in her that attracts you to her. This is where QUALIFYING is useful, in other words demonstrating that you like her for who she is.

We’ve all been there: You’re so into that one special girl. She begins to sense a sharp discord with her own feelings of inadequacy and innate discomfort: this guy likes me too much. This you how you lose her…

Pick-up gurus tell us over and over again how bad “oneitis” is. But when you’re in the middle of that emotional maelstrom, it’s hard to hear why it’s important to kill those feelings for that special, magical girl.

Why? Because she’s not special, and neither are you.

In fact, in the book Getting the Love You Want, Dr. Harville Hendrix distills the experience of love down to three core emotions:

1.) This person is highly unusual and specifically tailored to loving me.
2.) I’ll never feel like this again.
3.) This feeling should last forever.

Biochemically, you are designed to react to loving emotions exactly how you do. Your emotions are not special.  She has loved before. So have you. She will again. So will you.

No, she’s not different. Imagine the most heinous, depraved, “slutty” thing you’ve seen or conceived. Now, know this: you know someone who’s done something like that or worse. Such is the reality of modern reality. Suck it up and deal. After all, you’re probably a normal, decent person, and all that deviance and judgment you just threw out in our imaginary situation there is NOTHING compared to the festival of sin that is your daily, hourly sexual fantasy life. What separates your thoughts from your actions? Sadly, it’s probably an issue of will and game.

No one is actually that special. But everyone is that special. That one girl isn’t worth a damn because everyone has a nugget of gold lodged somewhere in their chest. Everyone has some hidden glory. Sometimes it’s hidden very deeply. But there truly are a vast number of interesting, beautiful women, despite their minority status. In that same regard, no single girl is all you’ve made her up to be. Not one.

Some of you are reading this and thinking about This One Girl You Know. Seriously, not even her. EVEN IF EVERYTHING YOU SAY ABOUT HER IS TRUE! THERE IS A GIRL WHO IS BETTER-LOOKING, SMARTER, FUNNIER, AND NICER. YOU JUST HAVEN’T MET HER YET. That glorious sun goddess is still just another glorious sun goddess. We live on a planet with 6,200,000,000 human beings. And women are in the majority. Seriously, she’s not that special.

And that’s why you have those feelings for THAT special girl. That muse is only holding you back because what she’s really doing, what she’s really, really accomplishing, is holding you back from being your true, glorious self. Find her seventy thousand superior counterparts. Then return.

With understanding.

Experience and willingness to learn breed perspective. When you don’t accrue a lot of experience with girls, it’s easy to get sidetracked by illusions, to forget how mortal these divine creatures are. Then, you can find a girl you want, a girl you like, a girl you can love. And you will not love her out of habit. You will not love her because she’s just the prettiest girl you’ve ever been with. You will love her because she’s the best girl to receive your love. And that statement means something because you have allowed other, female things to happen to you!

To find out more information on dealing with ”oneitis”, check out this audio download. The first 10 minutes are FREE.

In some ways, Day Game follows the same structure as any other type of game. But of course there are also differences. Here are the main ones and how to get around them:

1. Guys generally get more approach anxiety approaching girls in the daytime than they do at night.

People always think, “Isn’t it weird to approach girls in the day? Aren’t they busy? Aren’t they going to tell you to go away?” The truth is it’s no less weird than approaching people you don’t know to talk to them in a bar. Instead of reacting really badly, girls react better in the daytime than they do at night. At night, they expect guys to be drunk and hit on them, but in the daytime, it happens to them much less often and thus they are impressed by your confidence and willingness to take risks. Like all approach anxiety, the only way to overcome this is to man up and go approach them.

2. Direct openers are much more necessary in Day Game than night game.

There are a lot of venue considerations in Day Game (see below), but in many situations, particularly in street game, it can come across as really bizarre to stop a random girl and ask her opinion on something. In a bar, you could feasibly be having a conversation with your mates, and want to ask someone nearby their opinion, but in the daytime it comes across as less congruent. Direct openers work fantastically well on the street, e.g. “Excuse me, I just saw you walking past and thought you looked absolutely beautiful! I know this is really forward of me but I just had to say hello. How are you?” Direct Openers are also massively important for moving sets. Contrary to what most people think, it is ridiculously easy to stop moving sets (most of my sets are girls walking past me), you just need to be committed enough to your Direct opener. When you open a moving set, stop, plant yourself right on the ground where you are and deliver the opener. Do NOT start moving as they are moving, wait for them to stop. If they don’t stop, it will be creepy to follow them.

3. Day Game involves a greater variety of venues than night game. These venues are mainly differentiated by the levels of Social Pressure they involve.

You have the streets, cafés, bookstores, art galleries, college campuses etc. Every venue or situation is slightly different, so you will need to develop good social calibration so you don’t creep girls out. The biggest factor to be aware of is Social Pressure. The more other people can listen to your interaction with a woman, the higher the Social Pressure will be, and the more potentially uncomfortable the girl will feel. In high social pressure situations, your job is three-fold. First, don’t go too Direct, either open indirectly or tone down your Direct opener (e.g. “That’s a lovely dress, how you doing?”).

Second, have a strong frame of feeling comfortable in the interaction. The strongest frame always wins: You feeling comfortable talking to her will make her relax. If you are nervous, she will start to feel uncomfortable. The truth is, feeling this comfortable only comes with time and practice. But remember, she can’t see how you feel inside, only how you act on the outside.

Third, make her laugh. If you can tease her or otherwise make her laugh within the first thirty seconds of the interaction, she will instantly relax – the interaction is then suddenly a fun bit of banter with a stranger instead of being accosted by some creepy guy on the subway.

4. Super hot girls are MUCH easier to open in the daytime.

You know how the super hot girls get hit on a lot in bars and clubs? There is one reason why: Alcohol. It normally starts happening after everyone is liquored up. In the sober light of day (and without all their buddies to back up their testosterone levels), most guys are shit scared of the super hottie walking down the street. They will gawp at her, but God forbid they summon the stones to go up to her and say hello. Direct game works really well in the daytime with super hotties. You’ll be surprised at how many of them will turn around to you and say, “Oh my God, that’s so nice of you, no one has ever stopped me on the street to say that!”

5. You can get into Comfort much more quickly in Day Game than night game.

The fact that you have approached her in the daytime already demonstrates a lot of value; if you went Direct, then this is even more pronounced. Attraction building should happen in a matter of minutes. As soon as she’s laughing and enjoying the interaction, stop thinking about attraction and start thinking about qualifying and building comfort. You’ll need to escalate things as part of this. The easiest way to escalate the interaction on the street is to ask her which way she is headed, and suggest that you walk with her for a few minutes to chat. You can add in a, “I don’t want go dress shopping or anything like that with you though – that would be kind of gay – so I’ll probably head off in a few minutes!” This works exactly like a false time constraint. You are reducing the pressure in the situation.

6. Day Game approaches are often less expected by women and can take them by surprise.

This is a double edged sword. On the one hand, as mentioned above it causes guys to have more anxiety when daytime approaching, and they sometimes equate the surprise that girls will get with her being weirded out. On the other hand, because she is surprised, you have just spiked her emotions and therefore, if you run the interaction well, this turns into a massive positive for you. Not to mention that fact that very rarely do guys approach women on the street, so when you do approach her she will be more impressed and more likely to remember you positively (therefore LESS likely to flake than a night game set). The best way to handle the surprise/shock factor she may experience (especially if you use a Direct opener) is to acknowledge the situation, e.g. “I know this is really forward of me… but I was going to regret it all day if I didn’t stop you and say hello,” or, “This is very bold of me, but I thought you looked absolutely stunning, and I don’t believe in letting opportunities pass you by.”

7. It is harder to get a Same Day Lay than a Same Night Lay.

The reason why this is true is because of logistics, not because of social conventions (which is what you might have expected). If your game is good enough, you can bend social conventions to your whim, but once you get good, the biggest problem you spend most of your time overcoming is logistics. The fact is, girls will tend to be more busy and in the middle of doing other things in the daytime, so often you will only be able to take a phone number, build some comfort, and then move on. However, this doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be on the lookout for Same Day Lays!! In the ideal situation, you meet the girl and take her on a series of venue changes than end up back at your place. More commonly, there will be an “interrupt”, where she has to go home to eat or meet friends etc. In these cases you can still try to get her to come out to a party with you that night. You need to get out of the mentality that Day Game is just about taking phone numbers: You are trying to seduce these women not just get their digits. Set up the instant date if you can (e.g. take her for a coffee, then a drink, then a walk, then your place), or arrange to meet her later that day if you can. As mentioned above though, this all depends on what else she has got going on that day. Welcome to the wonderful world of logistical management!

8. You often have less time to demonstrate value to the girl than in night game.

Some girls you open will be in a rush to get somewhere, just about to meet friends, or may not have the time or inclination to talk to a random (albeit fun and interesting) stranger in the middle of the day. Because you are not in a bar, chances are she is not going to see you talking to other people (i.e. no opportunity for social proof). In the daytime therefore, you typically have a very small window of opportunity to make a good first impression: You must present yourself as well as humanly possible. Leave the house ready to meet women. Wear nice clothes, style your hair, and wear good shoes (don’t wear your tatty trainers). All of these things will encourage her to response positively to her when you stop her in the middle of the street.

9. Groups of women seem more difficult to approach even though they really are not.

It is not true that you can’t run Direct Game on groups of women, and it is not true that you can’t open groups of women in the daytime. Your strategy with a group should be either to pull all of them to another venue with you (typically again, there will be an interrupt, but you can invite them somewhere later that night), or to open the girl you want, build some comfort with the whole group (so they approve of you and allow you to pick up the girl you want), and then start escalating with your chosen girl. Escalation in front of the group might be as simple as taking her number, finding out some stuff about her and qualifying her a little.

The most important thing is to take action. A lot of guys who excel in night game, choke in the daytime. You need to be willing to take action TODAY, not tomorrow, not the day after. Procrastination is the world’s greatest sin. You will find that once you force yourself to open a few daytime sets, your skills and experience in other areas will rapidly transfer across. It’s just being willing to burst through that barrier.

To find out more information on day game, check out this audio download by Love Systems day game experts Jeremy Soul and Bonsai. The first 10 minutes are FREE.

If meeting women in the daytime is something you’re interested in then this primer is for you. It contains the basic information on day game – what you need to know to get out there and start meeting people outside of a nightclub environment…

Opening:

Give a direct opener a try: ‘Excuse me, I saw you from over there. And I’d regret it all day if I didn’t come met you. Because you look absolutely gorgeous (extend hand to shake): Hi, I’m …, what’s your name?’
Direct openers like this usually open quite strongly and provide a good platform for you to launch the conversation from. At the very least, it’s nice to say nice things to people – it’ll make you feel good and give her positive emotions too.

There’s nothing wrong with starting a conversation in another style such as indirect, functional, comedic etc. There are lots of examples of these types of openers online and you’ll want to come up with your own as the situation dictates. Here are a few to get you started:

– ‘Hey do you know where the nearest Starbucks is?’
– She’s wearing head/earphones: ‘What are you listening to? I’m bored of my current playlist’ – take her iPod and start teasing/appreciating her playlist.
– She’s in a shop or coffee house, deliver with comedy: ‘I saw you from out there and had to come meet you. I just couldn’t let a pane of glass stand between us and true love.’

A Common Trap With Direct Openers:

Don’t try to solicit a reaction. So many guys get addicted to the big, gushing reactions that you will occasionally get from your direct approaches and ‘look’ for it every time. Instead of being an expression of their personality and core intent, the direct opener becomes a tool to chase a reaction. They deliver it and wait for the big WOW! It’s approval-seeking and not attractive.

Try this frame: Her beauty/vibe/aura moved you to approach. Something in your core just said ‘yes’. So you’re going to go meet her, express your core and see if she’s the kind of girl you might connect with and would like in your life. Self-expression, without the need for approval, mixed with a curious fascination for her as a unique creature.

Transition to Conversation:

After opening, stack and cycle through the following transition material until you find a topic that you’re both interested in and can naturally talk about together. Perhaps you both enjoy traveling or you both like the movies of a certain director.

To that end, here are three content-questions that you can ask to mine for a click topic:

1)What are doing in London/Oslo/Melrose today? (this also allows you to find out how much time you might have to talk. If she’s rushing to meet friends, better go for the number. If she’s just ‘shopping’, you might try for an instant-date later in the conversation)

2)What do you do for a living?

3)What do you do for fun?

These can either be delivered statement/question or question/statement. In other words, you might start by talking about what you’re doing in central London and then ask her what she’s up to (statement/question). Or you might ask her first and then answer your own question when she’s done (question/statement). Either way, be prepared to supply the initial content and energy of the interaction.

It’s not unusual for a person to be a little on-guard when approached by a stranger in the street or a coffee shop and give quite short answers. Allow her initial shyness, she’ll warm up as your statements build comfort and convey your attractive personality.

Another conversation technique is to talk about a character trait you enjoy, explain why you enjoy it and then ask her if she has it. This ‘soft qualification’ is a great way to add value to a conversation and qualify in a high-value way. The more astute among you may recognize some sexual framing in this material also.

For example:

‘I really like people who travel, I love to travel myself. There’s something about people who travel. There’s an open-mindedness to new experiences and a non-judgmental quality that I really like. Do you like to travel?’
‘I like to surround myself with creative people. They have an energy and a fresh way of looking at life that really energizes me. What do you do for fun?’

If you can’t find a click topic, consider that perhaps the two of you have nothing to click on and are better off moving on to meet other people. With practice, however, you’ll find you can find a way to connect with almost anyone you meet. Remember to listen with curiosity and interest.

Thoughts on Conversation:

All the principles of social interaction you’ll find in Magic Bullets and the other materials are relevant here. On top of these, focuse on glimpsing the girl underneath her social facade and being open enough for her to get a glimpse of you under yours.

It’s easy to view interactions with girls as a ‘game’ in which you say certain things, touch your ‘target’ in a certain way to either win or lose the game. This kind of thinking serves to dehumanize the girl who is, after all, a unique person just like you. What if the simple meeting of both of your personalities, opinions and experiences could provide enough content for an attractive, successful conversation?

Don’t forget to be fun and humorous. Tease a little to inject some spice, have fun with the conversation. There’s no need to be intense and serious all the time – in fact, this can be quite creepy! Try a fun role play or future projection, experiment with the attraction materials in Magic Bullets to spice things up. Beware of making these the focus of your content though, remember that you and her are enough to have a great conversation.

Find your own style of interaction. When you meet a man who is successful with girls, by all means copy his style but only to gain an understanding of the underlying principles that make him so successful. Don’t be a clone, you’ll get much better results as a great version of you.
Taking Things Further:

Where can you take the conversation after you’re clicking and enjoying one another? Depending on the logistics of the situation, you might try these options:

– suggest a future meeting and exchange contact details.
– suggest going to get a coffee right then and there.

Conclusion:

The skill of meeting people and having great conversations is a vast one with room for a lifetime of learning and experimentation. It’s a lot of fun and comes with lots of benefits, not least all of the beautiful women you’ll meet!

With this basic information you’ve got all you need to start meeting girls in the daytime. The most important thing you could do with what you’ve read is start applying it in real conversations.

To find out more information on day game, check out this audio download by day game experts Jeremy Soul and Bonsai from Love Systems. The first 10 minutes are free.

If you want to take a girl home, there are certain things you have to be aware of. Here are four tips for closing at her place:

1) Find out where she lives.

This step seems obvious, but you’d be surprised how often it is unintentionally left out. When you know where a woman lives, you can plan ahead to deal with the logistical problems you’re going to hit later.
Does she live near the venue? Does she have a roommate? Is she in a dorm? Do you know of a cool bar/after hours joint near her place? When you want to bounce her back there, are you going to drive, walk, or take a cab? Even if you end up with a phone number + date instead of going home with her, this info will be useful for when you go out again.

A few scenarios to consider and how to deal with them:

– Roommates: When there is a separate bedroom to retreat to, sacrificing a few minutes of conversation to win over the roommate(s) will make your being there a lot more comfortable. After they trust you, you can use any nonsense reason to bounce your girl to her bedroom. “Bet my room is cleaner than yours,” is one example.

– Cab ride: If she lives a cab ride away, be sure to keep up the momentum in the car, and continue to build up physical intimacy. If you were touching her arm in the bar, touch her leg in the cab. If you were about to make out in the bar, make out in the cab. Avoid cabs with bucket seats that make physical contact impossible.
– Dorm: If there’s a security guard, you can go through the lengthy (and vibe-killing) process of giving him your ID and signing in, or you can tell the girl to slide her card through and sneak in behind her. You get points for being resourceful, and it’s exciting because it seems like you’re doing something wrong.

– Shared bedroom: There are public bathrooms in dorms and hotels that I have found very accommodating when dealing with shared room situations. Be sure and scan for them when entering, and when it’s time to bounce to it, tell the girl that you’re “taking her on a field trip.”

2) Amp up the physical tension.

If you can get a girl sexually excited, then she’s going to want to bring you to a place where you can have sex as quickly as humanly possible. Here are a few quick pointers to get you started:
– Always end a touch or kiss before they do/want you to.
– Drop the topic of sex into conversation (in a light, joking way) as quickly as possible.
– Start touching the way you’d touch your boss and build to the way you’d touch a girlfriend.

3) “Let’s get you home.”

It’s easy to think of reasons to give a woman why she has to come back to your place. Keep it simple. “Let me show you that book I was talking about,” is perfect. It gives her plausible deniability and doesn’t tip your hand.

It’s harder to do this with her place. “Do you want to take me home with you?” makes you sound like a stray dog, not a man. “Let’s go to your place” is totally cliché thanks to every movie from the 1970s. “Let’s get out of here” is great if it’s obvious and explicit that she wants to have sex, but if you’re still flying a bit under the radar or her friends are around, you’re going to need something a little more subtle.
Instead, take the lead with “let’s get you home.” It’s a little dominant, it shows you know how to lead, but it also doesn’t trigger state breaks. If her friends are around, it implies that you are just going to make sure that she gets home safe. She shouldn’t feel any pressure since there’s really nothing implied. And if nothing’s going to happen, then there’s no reason she can’t bail on her friends, right?

(If you don’t remember state breaks, review Chapter 10 of Magic Bullets now. If you haven’t read Magic Bullets, get it. It’s the official Love Systems guide to meeting and attracting women, and where most successful guys start.)

4) Assume you’re going upstairs.

There’s nothing more awkward than walking a woman home and standing there silent for an eternity waiting for her to invite you up. Avoid this situation by assuming that she’ll be bringing you upstairs. Do not pause by the door. Do not say “Well, it was nice hanging out with you.” Keep the momentum of the interaction going as though you are still in the process of hanging out. If she has to invite you in, that’s risking a state break. Of course, there will be times when she suggests that you don’t come up, either because she doesn’t want to appear easy, or because she thinks letting you upstairs is an implicit agreement that you’ll be sleeping together. You can usually defuse this by giving yourself a bedtime. “I’ve got work in the morning, so I can only come up for a little bit” is one of my favorites. Say this before she even gets a chance to tell you why you can’t come in – like you coming in is a foregone conclusion.

To find out more information on closing at the girl’s place or getting a girl from the venue back to your place, check out the Love Systems interview series on Logistics. You can listen to the first 10 minutes for FREE!

After some months of absence – being busy working on different projects overseas – I’m finally back.

In the last months, there has been a lot of tattle about a guy called Paul Janka and his new seduction eBook “Attraction Formula“. I have to admit after watching some videos of this guy and reading some comments in the seduction forums, I bought his book. I was curious. Obviously this guy is good with girls, but he’s quite good looking and shouldn’t have any problems finding women. So what does work for him, doesn’t have to work for everyone…The question was: is there also some interesting stuff, some fresh ideas in his book?

The interesting thing about this “seduction guide” is that’s not about picking up women in clubs and bars, but the street. So it’s a so called “day game” guide. That’s were Janka picked up most of the alleged 173 women he has slept with. Although there is an order in the book, it’s more a collection of thoughts on different aspects.

Some insights are outstanding  – like the Rule of Omission, the Movie Trailer Concept, Women’s Inability to Drive a Conversation, Emotional Kinematics, The Idea of Discipline, How to Spend your Money Towards Getting Laid, Male Pride.

Some are plain-simple and anything but fancy (do it again and again to eliminate the approach anxiety). Also, you will find only few tips on what “exactly” to say approaching in this book (Janka says he doesn’t like canned stuff). For comparison only: In Mystery’s book “Revelation” are countless lines that you can use if you don’t know what to say (but Mystery’s book costs respectable $97).

But the one thing you simply have to love about this guy is his direct and pointed way of writing – you almost can tell he’s a Hardard-educated Physicist. So, in the end, I can recommend this book – there are no groundbreaking ideas, but some insights alone are worth the $19.95.

If you need more info, here’s a good review:

www.bestseductionbooks.com

A lot of guys who struggle with girls are highly motivated to improve themselves. But in order to improve yourself, you need to know what to improve. And often people simply don’t know what they are doing wrong, they haven’t identified their “sticking point”:

Maybe you don’t know how to open, maybe you don’t know how to create attraction, maybe you always skip the comfort building-phase. Or maybe you can’t bring yourself to speak to strangers, have some nervous ticks speaking with women, play the funny guy to smooth over your insecurity or your mind goes blank facing a beautiful girl. Maybe you don’t care about grooming and looks. Maybe you endlessly search for the right moment to kiss the girl or don’t use touching (kino) at all and always end up in the friends zone – this list is endless.

So, first you have to identify your problem, your sticking point with women. Here is what you can do to find out where your problem with girls might be:

1) Think about the past situations with women and what went wrong. Try to see the whole situation from her perspective – would you like this guy and would you think this guy has got girls in his life? If the answer is “no” – why? Compare yourself with successful guys – what do they do and you don’t?

2) Ask your friends and try to get an honest answer on how they see you interacting with women. Let them speak, don’t interrupt and don’t search for any excuses. Accept what they say – in most cases they see the right picture and you are the one who doesn’t want to accept the reality. Most guys don’t get over this point because admitting a weakness normally lowers your self-esteem. And nobody likes that. Hence most of the guys never really get better with women. Be the difference: Accept that you have to change things and start working on it.

3) Tape yourself on video to see how other people perceive you. It really gives you a reality check. Practice as long as you finally like “this” guy on the tape and your results with girls will skyrocket as you will become much more self-confident. And self-confidence is what girls are really looking for in a guy as it demonstrates a high status.

4) Get more information on attraction and psychology (internet, book store). You have to be aware of the basic principles of human interaction. But don’t overdo it. You don’t need all the books, two or three are enough at the beginning. The information you get from them is only there to know why something works. But it’s absolutely worthless if YOU don’t use it in the real life. You only get better if you go out and approach girls. The lack of experience with girls is the number one reason why guys don’t get the right results with girls. Here’s how you get the most out of the information you receive: break it apart and try one thing after another. If you read something new, go out and try it (and only it) until you get the right results. It’s not that easy in praxis, but it’s the most effective way to get better – and this is your goal, isn’t it?