The Pick-Up Diary

If you see a woman you’d like to meet, but you don’t approach her, that’s “approach anxiety.” This is a common problem for men.

• Give your wingman $100 at the start of the night. He gives you $10 back every time you make an approach. You’ll get in the habit very quickly.
• Keep a journal of your nights out and how many approaches you did. You can’t manage what you don’t measure.
• Do a few “warm up” approaches before you get to the bar or club or party. A club I used to go to a lot had a dive bar right beside it – so I’d go to the dive bar for 20 minutes, “warm up” with some approaches to get me in a talkative mood, then I went to the club.
• Momentum is crucial. Approach as soon as you get in the club. Even if it’s just to ask the time. Don’t let inertia take over. (Lots of people forget this rule.)
• Before you go out, write down a list of excuses why someone might not approach. (E.g., “She’s not hot enough,” “I want to get a drink/go to the bathroom first,” “She looks like she’s talking to her friends,” “I don’t have an opener ready,” etc.) Decide in advance if any of those excuses “count.” When you go out, don’t talk yourself out of an approach with an excuse that doesn’t count.

The best way to get rid of approach anxiety is of course to improve your game so that you WANT to approach, because each interaction will be exciting and fun. It’s amazing how quickly approach anxiety disappears after you do the first ones.

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The majority of communication is done with vocal tones, vocal pitch, movement, body language and gestures. All of these things and more make up our composite body language expressions, such as: Facial expressions, voice intonation, speed of speech , how you walk, the way you carry yourself through the world, having eye contact, how fast you move, and even our breathing.

Here are the most common mistakes in pick-up:

– Not being comfortable talking with strangers (social anxiety)
– Buying her drinks (trying to buy her over, or even worse, trying to get her drunk)
– Talking too fast (being nervous)
– Talking too much (trying to impress her)
– Not knowing what to say next (not enough practice)
– Drinking (to become comfortable)
– Asking too many questions (you create rapport too soon, but she doesn’t want your rapport unless you have attracted her first)
– Wrong Body language (hands connected, feet too close, shoulders down, leaning in)

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A lot of people want to know how to create attraction. So, without further chit-chat, here are the 3 sure-fire ways to create attraction:

1. Be mysterious.

Being mysterious means that you simply don’t reveal everything about yourself. Why is this good? Because the woman generates all sorts of possibilities of what you could be. She equals you with ideas (often fantasies) that she has in her mind.

It’s obvious: when we think there is nothing else to decipher, that all the clues were revealed and that the mystery is solved, we lose interest.

It’s what we don’t know that keeps us fascinated. This is even more important during the initial stages of attraction.

Here is an example of a conversation that generates mystery:

Her – “So what do you do for a living?”

You – “You might be surprised if I told you, but before that, what do you do for work?”

Her – “I do promotional stuff.”

You – “Really? How’s that?”

Her – “Good. I like it.”

You – “I suppose you must have a lot of good stories about the people you deal with.”

Her – “Well, yes, there are some weird people.”

Me – “Of course. You remind me of my friend Kay, who has done promotional work too. One time she was doing a promotion… ” (Launch into an interesting DHV (Demonstration of Higher Value) story).

Instead of answering her question you change the conversation to her favorite topic (herself). Then, launch into an interesting story that communicates your personality and attractiveness, while still not revealing too many personal details about yourself.

The secret is that she has a good time with you in the moment. Then later, when she feels attraction, she will use her imagination to fill in all the blanks.

2. Surpass her expectations.

By dedicating a lot of time to living and arming yourself with life experiences, the people who meet you will be taken aback by finding out more about you.

They will be pleasantly shocked by how interesting and accomplished you are, and a new type of mystery will develop as they question what else lies beneath your surface.

Here’s the same conversation, but this time with focus on developing the second type of mystery:

Her – “So what do you do for a living?”

You – “You might be surprised if I told you. What would you think somebody like me works in?”

Her – “I don’t know…”

You – “Aw, c’mon, what do you mean you don’t know. You must have some idea.”

Her – “Well, I don’t know…I would say you are a student or that you are working with a company.”

You – “Not quite, I’m a skydiving instructor.”

Her – “Wow! Really? I would never have thought.”

You – “Why not?”

Her – “I don’t know…it’s just that you didn’t give the impression of being like that…”

You – “Things aren’t always the way you think.”

Some of you might be saying, “But I don’t skydive… I don’t even do anything that resembles that!”

If this is so, maybe it’s time to add some adventure and new experiences to your life.

Ask yourself, “What is one thing I’ve always wanted to try, but have never gotten around to?”

Will you make plans to try it? It might be a lot of hard work, but you CAN do it.

3. Jealousy

Jealousy is a sneaky emotion. Thoughts of inadequacy and insecurity race through the mind. Knots form as fear and anxiety creep into the stomach. While these feelings are easily identified as negative, when wielded properly in a pickup they can yield shockingly positive results.

The secret to harness this invisible power lies in the commonly held belief that women are bynature driven less by logic and more by their emotions. Even if they meet a great guy, and intellectually recognize that he is cool, interesting, funny, and various other great things, this is by no means a guarantee she will pursue him sexually. She will only do that when her emotions tell her to.

Here’s how you create a jealousy plot line:

You’ve made your approach and opened the group for conversation. You’ve won over her friends and demonstrated to her that you’re different from the other guys. Sure you’ve told a few bad jokes but you’ve also had a few good ones and everyone laughed at them. She is clearly enjoying your company.

The night progresses and the two of you talk more. You find out about her dreams, desires, and passions. There is some light touching between you, but nothing major. She seems reserved to move things forward; you’re being slotted in the friend zone. Already having exchanged contact information, you mention you have to get back to your friends and bid her farewell for now.

She thinks little of it until in her peripheral vision she sees you sitting with the girl in the red dress. “Who does she think she is?” she wonders. “Giggling at his jokes and flipping her hair back like that.” Suddenly she feels the knot forming in her stomach. Her emotions are warning her she may be losing something she desires. And thus the switch has been flipped. Her emotions do not lie: She desires you.

You return with a smile to discuss one of the open loops left in your conversation from earlier. She is thrilled to have you back. A new energy exists behind the interaction. Now, when you touch her, your touch is reciprocated. Your escalation is welcomed and desired. Now, she is even laughing at your bad jokes. It’s on. Your plot line was played to perfection.

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There are a lot of dating myths out in the world that are false. Here’s Savoy’s Top 3 List:

1. Women want a nice guy.

You have heard and seen this plenty of times; Women saying they all want to date a nice guy, but then they all end up dating the jerk or bad boy. This paradox is as old as the Earth.

Women do want someone who can be nice to them, but also someone who can push their buttons and has strong boundaries. Nice guy lack the latter and that is why especially beautiful women don’t end up dating the nice guy. If you are one of the nice guys, try to tease girls more and fooling around with them. It sounds counterintuitive, but it works.

2. Dating should be fair.

This is a big one. It goes like this: “I shouldn’t be doing all the pursuing and all the work, dating should be fair”. If you recognize yourself, stop right now.

In the dating world, the guy has to be proactive about it. Just accept this. You can’t expect for women to approach you and seduce you. When one does, it’s most likely a pro (not a professional!).

You can also look at it differently. You have the option to pick the women you want to date. You are the one exercising the freedom of picking. Women don’t. They have to go through a lot of chumps and unfortunately sometimes they still can’t find the right guy.

3. Women hate to be approached.

There is this myth out there that says women hate to be approached. Nothing couldn’t be further from the truth. Why do you think it takes hours for women to get ready to go out at night? If friends want to have a conversation over a glass of wine, they can do that at home too.

Another popular excuse women use is so they can “dance.” Another excuse to masquerade why women really go out. The real reason women go out is to find a guy, just like you go out to find a girl. Don’t let these excuses women give fool you. The next time you see women out, keep in mind that they want to be approached and swept away. You can be that guy.

One of the reasons this myth is so established is because a lot of guys have no clue how to approach women and they do it in a terrible fashion. For example, using a pickup line does not work and it is the fastest way to get rejected. Instead, with the right fashion, body language, and the right thing to say you can start enjoying conversations with beautiful women.

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Imagine right now that you see an attractive woman standing at the bar in a night club.

She is smoking hot. Just your type with long legs, beautiful bouncy breasts, curves, shiny flowing hair, gorgeous piercing eyes.

You approach and open her with the “80’s Dogs Names Opener.” She’s listening and smiling, all is going perfect!

She responds to your opener and she has a silky voice that oozes sex appeal, she smells of creamy vanilla. Her laugh makes your heart pound like a heavy metal kick drum. She’s witty and playful.

You want her…for sure!

You run the “5 Questions Game” as your DHV (Demonstration of Higher Value). It goes over wonderfully! She lightly touches your arm…an IOI (Indicator Of Interest)! You toss a DQ (DisQualifier), smiling while saying “Hey, you can look, but don’t touch the merchandise.”

She flips her hair back another IOI!

You move her to isolation on the smoking patio. You run “The Cube” to build comfort.

Next you use “Style’s Elicit Values Routine” and qualify her. You’ve played your game perfectly up to this point. And then…

…YOU GET STUCK.

You run out of material. Your perfect sarge starts to fall apart.

She starts to become unsure of why she’s here with you. She tries to elicit value from you to feel more comfortable about her choice. She needs answers. She needs to know more about you before she’ll let you kiss her luscious soft cherry lips.

“Who is this guy really?” she wonders.

You might remember Style’s words from “The Game:”

“What most of us present to the world isn’t necessarily our true self: It’s a combination of years of bad habits and fear-based behavior. Our real self lies buried underneath all the insecurities and inhibitions. So rather than just being yourself, focus on discovering and permanently bringing to the surface your best self.”

So here is Style’s wisdom: “We all have an idea of who we want to be. The sad truth is that most people never get there. They don’t get to live life to the fullest being their bestselves because they don’t focus on it. The first step is realizing your goals and making them real. Write your goals down. That’s the first step.”

Writing your goals down is a way of making them more real. It’s the first small step to making a commitment to yourself that you will get better. So, just write down your goals down and you will be on your way to become your best self and finally will not get stuck as you will be your own DHV just by existing!

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Relationship management is a crucial topic to improve your long-term success with women – unless all you want out of your relationships with women is drama and one night stands.

Relationship management encompasses everything you do after you sleep with someone, but, like many phases earlier in the model, your success is dependent on the groundwork you’d laid earlier. Just as what you did in comfort influences your chances in seduction, what you did in qualification, comfort, and seduction influence what will be possible in relationship management.

And a lot is possible. Anything from a long-term committed relationship to dating multiple women to friends with benefits; it’s all possible if you have the skills and know what to do. Much of what is regarded today as obvious was once highly controversial before I came along. For example:

-You literally never have to lie to get what you want, even if you want to date more than one woman at a time.

-99% of all relationships fall into six major categories. Which pattern your relationship falls into determines where you can go with it.

-Relationship management begins before you even sleep with her the first time.

You have many relationships in your life. You have a professional relationship with your boss, you have a fraternal relationship with your brother, and you probably have a dating or a “friends with benefits” relationship with at least one woman in your life.

So, when we talk about relationships and relationship management, we are assuming that you and a woman are boyfriend-girlfriend. Relationship management refers to the frame in which you and a woman are interacting.

Relationship management begins well before you sleep with her, but most of the important work comes after. Commonly, men only start thinking about relationship management after sex is over: “I slept with her; what do I do now?” It’s a rookie mistake to leave it so long, because a little bit of work to set the frame during comfort goes a long way afterward. But we’ll cover this later.

For now, let’s start by looking at some of the basic relationship types:

Traditional: One boy, one girl, no one dates anyone else.

Traditional Plus: Like traditional, but sometimes you involve other people in your sex life (not your emotional life). Usually this is when both you and her enjoy threesomes with other women.

Open: Your primary emotional commitment is to each other, but you are both free to date other people. Open relationships vary in intensity: some are much like Traditional Plus relationships while others are far more casual.

Multiple: You have a strong commitment to each other, but nothing theoretically limits what you can do with others.

Dating / Undefined: The rules of what you’re doing and where you’re going are unclear, but there is no explicit commitment. Often early in your relationship and usually the case before you sleep together.

Friends with Benefits: No significant emotional commitment. Relationship is primarily sexual.

As you can probably see, these relationship types are ranked in decreasing order of commitment. Drilling down, we see that there are pretty clear distinctions between the types, in which you are #1 to each other, the middle two, in which this may be more ambiguous, and the lower two, in which there should be no expectations at all. For simplicity’s sake, we will call these three groups High Commitment, Medium Commitment, and Low Commitment.

What you seek is a matter of preference. There is nothing inherently superior about one relationship goal over another. It depends on your desires, her desires, where you are in your life, and all kinds of other factors.

That being said, many of you are going to skip straight to the Multiple Relationships section. That’s fine if that’s what you truly want. But pause for a second and truly consider things. Don’t just want something because it feels socially impressive or some of the top Pickup Artists in the world want it. It’s a lot more work than it seems. Many of the top names in the “Seduction Community” have never pulled this off successfully, despite their marketing propaganda.

Whatever your relationship goals, there are some key points to keep in mind:

The type of relationship you have with a woman can and usually will change over time. In general, it’s easiest to move within a given Commitment level (from “Multiple” to “Open” Relationship or from “Dating/Undefined” to “Friends with Benefits” for example). Moving between Commitment levels is much harder. You can sometimes move up, but rarely down. Moving down usually requires a breakup first, and a period of no relationship. After that, you can try to re-establish a relationship, but often all you will be able to get is Friends with Benefits. This happens between ex-boyfriends and ex-girlfriends more than many people think.

While you can get away with trying to move to your desired relationship type after you’ve already had sex with her, this compromises your effectiveness in a couple of ways. For one thing, if she gets the sense that you don’t have much of an idea about what it is that you want, this could turn her off and you’ll never get to sex in the first place. In addition, you will be far more effective at bringing her to your desired relationship type if you are able to implicitly set the right expectations in advance. It’s not like she won’t think about it just because you’re not giving her anything to go on. She’ll think about it anyway, and she’ll let her conclusions be driven by her own assumptions and preferences. These will be a lot harder to change later.

It’s a cliche, but communication is key to a relationship. It’s not enough to act like you’re in a specific kind of relationship with someone; it must be communicated and agreed on by both of you, whether explicitly or implicitly. Again, playing the “ambiguity game” won’t help you much. Women want to know what’s going on. If you don’t make an effort to communicate this somehow, even indirectly, she’ll try to interpret (or end up misinterpreting) what you do communicate and you may well end up with differing ideas about where your relationship is going. Do I need to tell you that this is a bad idea?

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It’s Sunday afternoon. You met a great woman on Friday or Saturday night. You opened, you created attraction, you qualified, and then you started to build comfort. The situation wasn’t right for you to take it further, so you casually invited her to join you for some exciting event on Monday. She gave you her number. You phone. It rings a few times and goes to her voicemail. You leave a message. She doesn’t call you back. It’s now Tuesday. What do you do?

1. Maybe call her again next week, but that’s it. You need to have the frame that you have lots of women interested in you and are busy, or else she won’t stay attracted to you anyway.

2. Call or text every day or two with a variety of different approaches, to see if any of them make an impact. Delete the number after a few weeks if you don’t get anywhere.

3. Call every day until she answers. Once in a while call three times in a row to see if that works. After a week or so, drop back to once a week or so. Don’t give up until YOU are no longer interested.

What’s the right answer? Don’t look ahead…

Actually, any of them could be the right answer. In the right context, all of these are okay. Too many beginners are too inflexible with the frame that “I have value… she has to come to me” and default to (1). Yes, this is a good frame, and it’s important. However, sometimes you need to do a little bit of pursuing as well.

Why is this? If you obviously have value, why should you have to pursue a woman? Why does she want you to? In short, it’s because this shows that you are genuinely interested in her. In fact, the more value you have, or appear to have, the more a woman will want to see you put in a bit of genuine effort to pursue her. She recognizes that you can have easy conquests, and she doesn’t want to be easy.

Why else? Some women are simply flaky and scatterbrained (so are some men). She may adore you, but you called when she was having dinner, and then she met up with a friend, and now it’s the next day, and she could call you, but now she’s distracted and, anyway, if you’re really interested in her you’ll call again, right?

Why else? She wants to play the traditional female role of being chased. It’s exciting for her, and built into millennia of social programming. It’s not a great frame for men to be in, which is why we short-circuit it when we first meet a woman by disqualifying ourselves during the attraction phase. That’s easy in public, where you can plausibly start a random conversation with an attractive woman without being interested in her (until she wins you over, of course…). It’s not easy on the phone. By calling, you are confirming your interest. That’s why it’s so important to qualify her when you first meet, so she feels comfortable with your interest in her, but it does mean that you might feel a little bit of “back to square one” on the telephone. So, yes, she may make you work for it by not returning your phone call. Don’t take it personally.

Why else? Some women are taught “not to call guys.” Yes, it’s pretty silly, but there is just as much silly dating advice for women as there is for men. There’s nothing you can do about this. Call them. You can fix their silly ideas later.

Now, we covered ages ago some of the crucial tactics for making sure that she does answer the phone when you call (programming your number into her phone, telling her when you’re going to call, planning a specific event, making her verbalize some anti-flake routines, texting/calling that night, etc.) as well as how to leave a message (leave hooks, cut yourself off, etc.) so we’ll assume that you’ve done all of this, and are still not getting her on the phone. You can give up, of course, and focus your energies on new women. This is totally fine. But you can also set aside a few minutes a day with your “cold” phone numbers and do some of this:

· Vary the time of day when you call. Morning, afternoon, evening, night. If you’re getting nowhere, try calling at 1am. You’ll wake her up, so make sure you can be immediately entertaining from the second she answers. (Start with a high-energy, funny, short routine. Don’t even introduce yourself.)

· Call from different numbers.

· Try sending text messages – some people simply prefer these to phone calls.

· Don’t ever acknowledge that you are calling and she isn’t returning your calls. Adopt the frame – to yourself – that she is just a flaky woman and it’s kind of cute. Don’t let it cross your mind that she might not actually be interested in you.

· Don’t ever say “this is the last time I’m calling” or “I’m calling to leave you another message” – see above. And if you do get her on the phone, don’t even bring up the subject of your previous calls or texts.

· If you phone, and it goes directly to voicemail (and doesn’t ring at all), hang up. You got a free pass. If it doesn’t ring, it won’t show up as a missed call on her phone. She won’t see that you called. If it does ring, leave a message.

On the other hand, don’t turn “pursuing” into “chasing.” If she tells you not to call, stop calling. Don’t be creepy.

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You see an attractive woman. You don’t know her. You have no “excuse” to talk to her. Can you walk up to her and start a conversation – the kind of conversation that’s going to lead to attraction and more?

This is a skill any man can master. And one no man can afford to ignore – if you can’t comfortably talk to strangers, you’ve excluded 99.9% of the women whose path you’re going to cross in life.

So if you’re not approaching SUCCESSFULLY and CONSISTENTLY, take a look at this list. Print it out and keep it with you. Master these and your life WILL change.

1. Do “warm up sets” before you get to the bar/club/party/park. Somewhere nearby, do a few approaches that “don’t count” until you’re in a talkative, social state of mind. The world’s best pick up artists do this.

2. Be “social” not a “shark.” The guy who walks into a bar, circles around a few times, and then gets the courage to approach women one by one is going home alone. Women KNOW this type. Talk socially to everyone and have fun – you’re not a starving hunter desperate for a meal.

3. Smile. That one’s easy.

4. Have a couple of “go-to” openers – things you can say to start a conversation that you KNOW will work. You don’t need 50, 500, or 5000. 3 or 4 is just fine. Pick a couple you like…

5. Approach right away. Once she notices you looking (she will — women have eyes in the back of their head), you’re either going to be “confident” or “creepy,” so be confident and approach. More advanced guys can play the eye contact game, but if you’re having trouble successfully starting a conversation 99% of the time, keep it simple.

6. Use relaxed, confident body language. Get your wingman to watch you and critique.

7. It doesn’t matter who she is with. Attractive women rarely do things alone. So get used to the idea that you’re going to have to meet the people she is with at the same time as you meet her. (Day Game is sometimes an exception to this). Whether her friends are male or female, approach anyway. If she’s off-limits, they’ll tell you. We don’t have space to go into this in detail here, but women who have guys in their group are more likely to have a same-night encounter anyway.

8. Eye contact. There’s another easy one. Split it equally among everyone in her group.

9. Project your voice. Put your hand on your chest, just below your pectorals. Experiment with your voice until you can feel vibrations in your hand. That’s the way you want to talk. Be too loud rather than too quiet.

10. Have something to say – you’re going to have to do 90% of the talking at first. Don’t keep talking about whatever your opener was about. When she starts breaking into the conversation, asking your name, where you’re from, what you do for a living – that’s when you know she’s attracted. Content provided by Savoy from Love Systems.

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Making people laugh is an incredibly quick way to get interest from beautiful women. Not only that, but it makes dealing with their male and female friends a lot easier.

There are a lot of reasons why this works so well – just remember that humor makes you an asset to whomever you are talking to because laughter releases chemicals that make people feel good.

Now, a lot of people think that becoming funny isn’t possible. They think that you just have to be born that way. NOT TRUE. TONs of people go from awful to incredible. All it takes is proper instruction and lots and lots of practice.

(You have to be willing to make mistakes and learn from them, which is an incredible skill set to have when meeting women as well, but that’s a whole other story.)

Here are 3 ways to make strangers laugh in bars:

Way #1 – Self-Deprecation

The average guy tries to make himself look as cool as possible by bragging about his job, his body, and his history. Doing the opposite – as long as it’s obvious that you’re pretending is one of the easiest ways to make people laugh. For example:

-Tell people that you are a virgin and that this is your first time meeting women.

-Explain how living in your parents’ basement is actually a lot cooler than it sounds.

-Let everyone know that you are actively stalking your last ten girlfriends (or should I say “the last ten girls who made the mistake of telling you where they lived…”).

Just make sure it’s obvious that you’re joking without a lame “just kidding” at the end. Pick things to say that anyone meeting you for the first time would know can’t be true.

Way #2 – Ridiculous Statements

This is somewhat similar to self-deprecation because you’re also saying things that are obviously not true. But instead of being negative, they’re just ridiculous. They key to using ridiculous statements is to back them up with good specifics. Specifics make something funnier and more “realistic” even if it’s obviously not true. For example:

“I’m pretty excited. I finally got my pet zebra in the mail.”

“I heard that astronauts drink for free in this bar. Is that true? Being in space makes me thirsty.”

“I just got back from Australia. Did you know that they call oral sex Ôgoing up’ over there?”

My favorite thing about ridiculous statements is that sometimes you don’t even have to make them up. If you ever trip over your words or get confused about the details in a story, then that can be the start of a great ridiculous statement. Pretend that the mistake is what you meant to say. Stick with it and see where it goes.

Way #3 – Misinterpretation

This started out as one of my favorite games to play in bars and ended up being a great way to make people laugh. Because bars are so loud, I’d pretend like I misheard people and respond to things they didn’t say…

THEM: “So, where did you grow up?”

YOU: “No, I don’t need another drink. Thanks, though.”

Then I thought, “this would be even funnier if it wasn’t loud at all.” I started mishearing things in quiet bars and it got even better reactions than before, so long as they could tell that I was kidding. After a while I started misinterpreting everything. Some nights, just for fun, I would decide to interpret everything I heard the exact same way, regardless of what it was…

THEM: “Do you know what time it is?”

YOU: “Wow. Are you really going to hit on me like that without even asking my name?”

Or

THEM: “I grew up in Philadelphia.”

YOU: “Wow. Are you really going to hit on me like that without even asking my name?”

If you’re going to go out and try misinterpretation tonight, make sure you are mishearing them in a way that makes you look good. For example, always assume they are hitting on you, or are asking for your phone number, or trying to buy you a drink. So in a way, this is kind of the opposite of Way #1 (Self-Deprecation).

As with anything, practice makes perfect, so don’t be afraid to go out there and land flat a few times. At least you’ll have a good time doing it!

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As men we might go out on the date-hunt alone. But women, especially women of quality, are rarely found out at clubs and bars socializing alone. They travel in wing-woman packs, or mixed groups of men and women protecting each other from slime-balls, drunken idiots, and boring AFCs (average frustrated chumps).

But you are different because you recognize this fact and you’re  going to not only overcome it but use it to your advantage.

If you opened, demonstrated value (showed you’re interesting and attractive) and disqualified yourself from being the “next guy” to heighten attraction in your target,  you should be receiving “Indicators of Interest” (IOIs) from the woman in set that is your target. This concept is as easy as it sounds. An IOI is something a woman does (maybe even subconsciously) to show you that she’s interested in you as more than just a friend.

Here’s a small list of IOIs:

1. She makes prolonged eye contact with you.

2. She touches you in a playful. A tap on the arm, friendly punch to the shoulder or joking hip check.

3. She fixes her hair or other aspects of her appearance in your presence.

4. She tries to insert herself into the conversation you’re having with other people in the set or if the conversation with you dies she re-starts it.

5. She’s willing to do simple things you ask her to do: “Here hold this cup.” or “Switch places with me, you stand here.”

6. She laughs at your jokes even when no one else does.

7. She doesn’t want you to leave.

The key with IOIs is to notice them and to act accordingly. What does that mean exactly you ask? Well, if a woman is showing you she’s attracted to you then you can start escalating things to the next level chief. Doesn’t that sound like fun?

The rule of thumb is to notice 3-4 IOIs then to begin to work on escalation, namely isolating the target to build comfort. So, it may take you some time to get out of your head about saying and performing your Openers, DHVs, and DQs for you to also be able to keep track of IOIs but eventually this is the point to sarging often. That’s why PUAs like to run the same material over and over again – because it allows them to be able to focus on other things like counting IOIs. Try it for yourself.

How to Isolate

Let’s say you notice those IOIs your next step is to try to get some alone time with her.

Here’s where the group dynamic comes into play. It’s tough to get awoman away from her friends. It’s tough because her friends are her safety net and it’s there job to keep her safe. But provided you did everything right you should have not only been charming your special lady but also the group so you’ve got that going for you.

But you still need to follow a few rules to keep her super team of friends from worrying, so here’s how it goes:

You notice 3-4 IOIs from the target and you know you’ve achieved attraction to you. Now address the group say:

“Even though she’s trouble (feisty, a mess, etc., insert an adjective here that calls back a DQ), there’s something about your friend I find interesting. You guys mind if I talk to her alone for just a few minutes right over there?” (point to a spot near the group but far enough that you’re out of earshot).

Now, that sentence you just read doesn’t get said to a group of women or any group often. It’s totally alpha and confident to ask the group for this and they’ll respect it. Unless there’s a really drunk AMOG or a super tough wing-woman that loathes you the group usually always just nods and says “Sure, go ahead!”

You can’t prepare yourself for all contingencies so let’s just say the situation goes smooth and no one objects which is 9 times out of ten. The target will have heard what you said so at this point look her in the eye and say “Let’s talk for a minute over there before I go.” Then put your arm out suggestively so that she takes it.

Walk with the target over to your isolation spot – you’re now in isolation.

Why and How to Build Comfort

You build comfort because meeting and dating men is a scary prospect for a  woman. Think about all the psycho dudes she’s met in her life and the guys that have just tried to get in her pants. It’s no wonder she has her defenses up. You need to earn her trust and show her that you aren’t crazy and that you’re interested in more than just her body. This is the key to her really wanting to give you her number and her answering when you call it a few days later.

That’s the why and here’s the how. The Cube is a great routine to use in comfort building because it’s a good way to get to know someone on a deeper level. Feel free to run The Cube as your Isolation Routine.

In addition to running routines a good option in the comfort building phase is to listen. You already have this girl interested in you so now you need to get to know her. Ask her broad open ended questions: “What are your passions? What are you all about? You seem different from these other women in this place, what makes you special?” I think you get the idea. If she starts talking and doesn’t stop that’s a great sign. Your job now is to listen intently and look into her eyes.

P.S. Learn How to Get Your Ex Back NOW!