The Pick-Up Diary

The majority of communication is done with vocal tones, vocal pitch, movement, body language and gestures. All of these things and more make up our composite body language expressions, such as: Facial expressions, voice intonation, speed of speech , how you walk, the way you carry yourself through the world, having eye contact, how fast you move, and even our breathing.

Here are the most common mistakes in pick-up:

– Not being comfortable talking with strangers (social anxiety)
– Buying her drinks (trying to buy her over, or even worse, trying to get her drunk)
– Talking too fast (being nervous)
– Talking too much (trying to impress her)
– Not knowing what to say next (not enough practice)
– Drinking (to become comfortable)
– Asking too many questions (you create rapport too soon, but she doesn’t want your rapport unless you have attracted her first)
– Wrong Body language (hands connected, feet too close, shoulders down, leaning in)

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If you want to approach a woman you need to know what to say – you need an opener. You probably already know the “Hey guys, me and my buddy have a debate: Who lies more – men or women?” or “Is kissing cheating?” or “Do you floss before or after you brush?” -openers. So how about some fresh ones? Here is a list of new openers (by PUA_Swagger, Zeyn, Reef, Dallas, Gigantor, The MusicMan, Galego, Wadders, Silver Tongue, Themoose, Static, Tao, SmoothCriminal):

YOU: “You seem like you’re smart.”
HER: “Yes, I am.”
YOU: “OK, we’ll see how smart you are. I’m going to ask three questions and you have to answer as fast as you can, you game?”
HER: “Sure.”
YOU: “OK, do you own a refrigerator?”
HER: “Yes.”
YOU: “What’s the most common color refrigerator ever made?”
HER: “White.”
YOU: “What do cows drink?
HER: “Milk.”
YOU: “Nooooooo! Wrong, I don’t know if we could hang out.”

YOU: “I have to get back to my friends in a minute, but I need a female opinion on something.”
HER: “What’s that?”
YOU: “My ten-year-old brother Mike just texted me, and apparently there’s this girl in his class named Stephanie that he has a huge crush on, but he isn’t sure how to express it to her. If you were ten years old again, how would you want a boy to show you that he likes you?”
HER: “Well I think that _________.”
YOU: That makes sense. I’ll let him know he should try that.”

YOU: “Let me buy you and your friends a drink.”
HER: “OK.”
(Roll up to the bar and get however many corresponding shots of water so it looks like vodka or tequila. Then bring the shots and announce a toast as they wait for me to roll out the scene thinking they just made a sucker out of me. I wait for the response after they shoot the water and walk off. I wait for them to talk shit to build value and establish me as different and then proceed to re-open the set.)

YOU: “Hi, [insert time constraint]. On a scale from one to ten, how good of an age to get married is nineteen?”
HER: “Zero, or five.”
YOU: “So, you agree with me that it’s a bad choice! That’s what I tell my little [sister/cousin/niece] but she won’t listen.”
HER: “It’s an eight, or nine.”
YOU: “But not a ten so you would hesitate.”
HER: “Ummm…yes.”
YOU: “Hesitation is bad news, that’s why I tell my little [sister/cousin/niece] that it’s a bad choice but she won’t listen.”
HER: “Ten! It’s great!”
YOU: “I knew you looked like trouble, I’ll never introduce you to my little (sister/cousin/niece).”

YOU: “Just curious, do you wear the color red a lot? The reason I’m asking is because I read this thing on the Internet about the psychology of color, and how the colors you wear project a certain aspect of your personality to the world. You wearing red means you’re an energetic person, full of excitement. Too much red can overwhelm people, but with just enough, there have been studies done that people surrounded by red feel their hearts beating faster and feel out of breath in a good way. ”

[while using a fake or invisible microphone]
YOU: “How does it feel to be invited here tonight?” (have the frame of asking red carpet like questions)
HER: “________.”
YOU: “Say something to all your adoring fans out there?”

[get close to her and be serious for a moment, after laughing is usually a good time]
YOU: “Did you hear about that car crash that happened at [insert place]?”
HER: “No! What happened?”
YOU: “Well there were two cars…one went this way [cross your right hand to be kinda by her right cheek]. And one went this way [cross my left hand to be kinda by her left cheek]. And then they collided [light tap to both cheeks]!”

YOU: “Out of curiosity, I have to ask—what exactly are you drinking?”
HER: “I’m drinking ______.”
YOU: “Well, the reason I’m asking is because I was just talking with my friend and he was telling me all about how you can tell a lot about a person based on what they drink at Starbucks [or just say any coffee shop]. He seemed really excited about it, and I just had to see if it was true.”
HER: “Haha, oh really? Well what’s a _______ mean?”

>From here just go to a bunch of basic personality types often commenting on her energy (for espresso), sense of calm (tea), sensitivity (chocolate drink), or likes to be pampered/needs time to warm up to people (frappuccino).

YOU: “Hey guys quick question. OK, so it’s almost summer and of course every girl is trying to get a bikini perfect body. And you always see a bunch of girls spending hours and hours on treadmills… say, if you guys work-out, would you ever consider doing weights? I’ll tell you why I am asking in a second. I mean, are you guys the cardio-only girl or the also do weights girl?” (Let them talk amongst themselves and when they answer…I high five the girls that do weights, and tease the girls that only run on treadmills.)

[Note: depending on the time of the year, summer would be “So, it’s summer”, after summer would be “I know summer passed, but of course every girl is still interested in getting a bikini perfect body.”]

YOU: “Hey I really like your ring. You could totally kick someone’s ass with that. I will call you if I ever get into a fight.”

YOU: “Hey X, I want to get your take on something real quick [insert time constraint]. If an average looking guy approached you on the
street or in a bar and had food in his teeth or his fly open, would you let him know?”
HER: “_____________.”
YOU: “Interesting answers, but that’s not my real question. My real question is if the same thing happened but the guy was really attractive, would it make a difference? [be sure to add root of why you’re asking here]”

YOU: “Excuse me, I want your advice for a moment [provide time constraint here] while my friend is at the bar [gesture to wingman at the bar]. We’re only here for a week on business and were wondering where the better places to go are? I’m only asking you because you are better dressed than anyone else in here.”
HER: “________________.”
WINGMAN to YOU: “I can’t leave you alone for 2 minutes can I?”
YOU: “No I was just asking these, girls where’s a good place to go round here, but they haven’t got me convinced that they know.” [give playful smile to let them know you are only teasing]

YOU: “On a scale from 1 to 10, what’s the meaning of life?”

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If you have difficulties calling a girl and talking to her on the phone, here is a list with useful tips:

1. No matter who answers the phone introduce yourself, “Hi this is …Is … there?”

This shows you are confident to be you and it establishes some rapport with a housemate or parent which can be used later.

2. If she is not there, chat up the person on the phone. “So what’s your name? I’m not coming on to you or anything, as far as I know you could have three eyes and green skin but has anyone ever said you have a real sweet phone voice?” etc… Do not be in a hurry. This shows you feel you are not worthy of a person’s time and shows a lack of confidence. Also, when you slow down, your delivery will improve with clarity and nuances in your voice.

Try to talk about five minutes with this person and do not feel bad if they have to cut you off. However if you have run out of material end the conversation. It’s extremely important getting a person who shares her house to like you over the phone. It will make your life much easier.

3. Okay, you get her on the phone. Do not ask her if she is busy. Do not ask her what she is doing. Do not remind her where she met you. Do not believe you need to be the first to end the conversation. That will make you rush and ruin your rap. Talk slowly and confidently.

“Hi … This is … You would not believe what my niece did yesterday.” Or “Remember how we were talking about the sexiest food and you said watermelon. Well I fed some watermelon to my cat and he is looking at me in the strangest way…” Go right into material.

4. Keep the charm flowing and return her to the fun, sexy mood you left her in. Work to re-attract her.

5. After fifteen minutes or so, the close should be easy. Just talk about it as if it is already a done fact – hardly worth mentioning. Casual like, “Let’s get together this week.” Then shut up. She will then recite her schedule and let you know where her free-times are. Pick out a day and time which will work for you.

6. If she claims to be too busy to get together, either act like you didn’t even hear it, go back into material and then try to re-close with different language or try to do something immediately, “Let’s go for ice-cream. I can pick you up in ten minutes.” If that still doesn’t work just say, ‘Nice chatting with you.” and let her go. Maybe repeat the process in a couple weeks or call other girls.

7. If you put her in the right mood you will have very little problem arranging a meet. Half the time the girls will bring up a meet. Always work on her mood. Steam roll her into a mood of laughing and fun. Keep in mind: In order to work the phone well, you must have confidence in your verbal abilities. Work on your tone. Work on you speed. Work on your material. Practice steamrolling your friends into a good mood.

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The value elicitation routine is designed to make her question her beliefs and completely destroy her value system. This classic routine by Pick-Up Artist Neil Strauss aka Style is performed by asking her things she considers as important. One way to start is to ask her “What are the things that you once thought to be true, perhaps because your parents told you so, that you find to be totally false later?” Here is the complete sequence:

– What is the activity you like doing most? (she’ll say dancing or being with family or something)

– What is the ideal scenario of you doing that thing. describe it..

– try to imagine that scenario in your head…how do you feel? What emotions do you feel?

– Could you feel that emotion you felt back then right now, while we were talking about it?

– So really then, even though your favorite experience is …, your core value is fun and excitement… You want to experience good emotions over and over again.

– Oky, so in five minutes we’ve fulfilled your goal in life! You can die now (smile!).

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The Magic Questions Routine is a great piece you can use to create comfort. It also gives you a bit of insight into the girl you are talking to. To pull it off, just say your friend showed you a really cool personality test. Here are the “Magic Questions”:

1. Visualize yourself in a white room. You’re in a bed and everything is white. How do you feel?

2. What is your favorite animal? What qualities do you see it as having?

3. What is your favorite color? How does it make you feel when you think about it?

4. Imagine yourself on a beach. Nobody is around and the ocean is right in front of you. What do you do?
And here’s what it means:

1. This is how they view death and dying.

2. This is how their friends view them.

3. This is how they view themselves.

4. This is how they view sex.

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For his upcoming book (Everyone Loves You When You’re Dead) Neil Strauss aka Style, author of “The Game”, looked over two decades spent touring with rockers and rappers and realized there were a few common lessons and themes that we can all apply to our lives.

One of the things he noticed was that musicians who believed that they were destined to be famous, that being a celebrity was “God’s plan” for them, were more likely to get famous and stay there.

On the other hand, musicians who got famous, and then felt like they got lucky or didn’t deserve to be there any more than other talented (but lesser known) musicians tended to fall out of the limelight pretty quickly.

Strauss even found similar patterns in other fields – from sports to survival. For example liver transplant patients were three times more likely to live if they sought God’s help and intervention. And disaster victims in survival situations who prayed were more likely to live than those who didn’t.

The key point here however isn’t religion. It’s BELIEF and the power of POSITIVE THINKING. According to Strauss success comes from acting out of confidence, conviction, commitment, and deservedness, no matter what critics, haters, and competitors are saying and thinking–with no fear of failure (and with no problem bouncing back undiscouraged if one doesn’t succeed at first).

Conversely, walking down the path to your goals with fear, doubt, and uncertainty as your traveling companions is a sure way to slow down – if not completely bring to a halt – your journey. Even when successful, having a feeling of undeservedness when you reach your goal will ultimately lead to self-sabotage.

Strauss’ advice: whether you’re looking at the woman (or women or lack thereof) in your life or your career goals for the new year, ask yourself: WHAT DO I DESERVE?

Neil Strauss’ article in the Wall Street Journal.

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The basic principle behind seduction is to give the woman what she wants. Therefore, it is important to know the different types of women and their needs. There is not just “that one” way, you need to adjust your strategy each time anew to the type of woman you’re talking to.

1) The stressed out one.

She doesn’t like her job, her relationship is a disaster and she feels like nobody understands her. If you discover she is that type of woman, simply talk about her dreams, let her speak, do something forbidden with her and show her that her happiness depends first and foremost on herself.

2) The pampered gal.

She has everything, she has tried everything and she is bored to tears. If you realize she lives in a superficial world, add some deepness to it. Use some psycho tests and show her how to become an independent person.

3) The wallflower.

She seems shy, prude and unemotional. She represses her feelings and often seems arrogant. You have to be very careful and gentle with such a person. You need time to provoke emotions in her, but once she trusts you, she will warm up real fast.

4) The pretty one.

She gets attention everywhere, guys look daggers at her and she gets compliments 20 times a day. But still, inside, she feels lonely because men don’t dare to approach her. She is often passive, because she rarely needs to be proactive. You need to show her that she has a beautiful personality, that she is smart and – that’s important – that you’re not interested in her beauty.

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A lof of guys make the mistake of asking the girl whether she is single. Most of the girls that go out to clubs and bars are, but they say they have a boyfriend. This normally means one thing – they are not attracted to you (yet).

Girls use this line to weed out guys they don’t like but also to test guys (this is called a shit test). If you react with “Oh! That’s a pity” and leave you’ve have lost.

Instead you should simply ignore this comment and continue with your routines. Just say cool as if she told you her name and start talking about something else.

Don’t mention her “boyfriend” at all! Suppose, she has a boyfriend and you start talking about him in any way (for example asking where he is right now), she will think about him and will feel uncomfortable.

However if you ignore the boyfriend comment and your game is strong enough she will forget about him: lead and she will follow! Trigger her emotions and she will be attracted to you no matter what.

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One of the biggest sticking points is what to say after the Opener and running out of material. The solution to this common problem is Cold Reading.

The first tool you need is a cold read routine for a group, because most sets will likely be groups of girlfriends. Start with a group cold read after your opener.

Here are some examples:

YOU: (Smiling) “You guys are awesome you’re just like the girls from Sex and the City.”

GIRLS: “Oh I love that show…”

(now use what you know about their personalities to fit them into one of the archetypes of the main characters from Sex and the City, give each girl a character)

(point to the responsible or tough one)

YOU: “You’re definitely Samantha because you’re tough and you have you’re stuff together.

(point to the one that seems the most sweet or quiet)

YOU: “You’re Carrie I can just tell because…!”

(point to the target and shake your head and say)

YOU: “And you’re Miranda! Oh, you’re definitely Miranda!”

The women will laugh and say why they are who they are or why they aren’t let them talk about it for a bit and then start your next routine.

Now it’s time to run another Cold Read to win the group over. And I want you to launch into the Best Friends Test (by Neil Strauss aka Style).

YOU: “OK, I have to ask: how long have you guys known each other for? (If you think they’re sisters ask: “Are you guys sisters or best friends?”)

GIRLS: “We’ve known each other forever (or whatever they say)”

YOU: “See, I knew that”

GIRLS: “How could you know that?”

YOU: “I’ll show you. In fact, I’ll give you the best friends test.”

GIRLS: (get all excited)

YOU: “OK… (pretend you’re just about to ask a serious question)

“Do you both use the same shampoo?”

GIRLS: (look at each other and then open their mouths to answer)

YOU: “OK, the answer doesn’t matter, you already passed.”

GIRLS: “Huh?!”

YOU: “See, if you weren’t so close to each other, you’d have kept eye contact with me as you answered. But when two people have a connection, they look at each other first, kind of like you’re doing right now.”

GIRLS: (laugh)

YOU: “See, you don’t even need to say anything to each other. It’s like you just communicate telepathically.”

At this point they should be laughing and loving your company … time to isolate your target and launch into palm reading or astrology cold reads.

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The best way to make an impression is to teach the girl something about herself. The following techniques work extremely well:

1) “The Cube”. Women love all kinds of tests. This personality test invented by the master pick up artist and author Neil Strauss aka Style works like a charm. Read on it on the internet or Strauss’ book called “The Game“.

2) “The 3 Questions Game to Define Your Goal in Life”. This routine invented by Style is about asking the girl what she likes doing most and what kind of feeling she has doing it. The ultimate goal in life is to experience that feeling again and again.

3) Palm reading. This is an instant classic and gets every girl interested in a second. Don’t forget to tell her that has a difficult relationship to her father and an excellent one to her mother.

4) “The Ring Routine”. This routine is about telling her that wearing ring on particular fingers says something about her personality.

5) Cold Reading. This technique is extremely powerful, but you need some experience with people to be successful with it. Cold reading is about guessing what kind of person the girl is and telling her what she wants to hear.

6) Storytelling. In order to attract a girl you need to be able to tell an interesting story. Keep in mind: Telling a story is not about getting to the end, but to demonstrate your charming personality.

7) NLP-Techniques. Neuro-linguistic programming is about playing with thoughts, images and feelings and can be very powerful. Again, you need a lot of experience in this area to be really successful.

8 ) Dream interpretation. Quite popular. The problem here: a lot of people don’t remember their dreams and if they do there are way too much possibilities they can come up with that you can assign to a special interpretation pattern.

9) Handwriting analysis. A bit long winded, but nonetheless effective.

10) Number guessing game. Tell her to pick a number between 1 and 4 (guess that it’s the 3). Then tell her to pick a number between 1 and 10 (take the 7, because most people choose this number). Finally let her pick a number between 1 and 10. This time tell her to multiply the number by 9. Then, she has to add the digits of the outcome and subtract 5. The outcome is always 4.

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