New Interview with Neil Strauss about The Game
P.S. If you have no clue what “The Game” is, check it out on amazon:
P.S. If you have no clue what “The Game” is, check it out on amazon:
The Horse Girl Opener by Brad P.
Point to a girl with a “Don’t I know you?” look on your face. Then, say “Do you like horses?”
It’s a strange question and it makes her wonder “Why would he ask me this? I need to know!”
Her: “Yes / No / Maybe.”
You: “I’m asking because in my 7th grade there was a girl who loved horses. She drew horses on her binder and ran around making horse noises. We called her the weird horse girl. You
look just like her.”
Her: (laughing) “I’m not the weird horse girl. Where did you go to school?”
You: “I’m not sure if you’re her. Maybe you won’t admit it. But if you are, I want to say sorry. In school I was the cool kid. I made fun of the horse girl. Now I’m trying to be a better person and I never make fun of people. I promised myself if I ever saw you I’d apologize.”
Her: (smiling) “Awwww…I guess I can forgive you.”
You: (go for the hug)
You are probably familiar with opinion openers like the jealous girlfriend opener, who lies more etc. The problem with these openers is that they appeal mostly to women. And as you know women often go out with guys (mixed set) who are “just friends”. So how about an opinion opener for mixed sets?
The two-part kiss opener appeals to guys first and foremost. But girls get super into it also. And it gives you a way to AMOG (to be the Alpha Male Of the Group) guys in front of women. The opener goes like this:
You: Hey guys, we’re having a debate and need a quick opinion on something. If a guy is dating a girl and she goes out to a bar with her friends one night and makes out with a guy just for fun, is it cheating?
Group: Yeah, it’s cheating.
You: Okay, that makes sense. So here’s the real question. And I’ll tell you why I’m asking in a second…If she goes out and gets drunk and makes out with a GIRL for fun, is it cheating?
Group: (the responses will vary, but if any guys say “no,” you can bust on them for having a
double-standard etc.)
You: Okay. Interesting. The reason I’m asking is because my friend over there has been dating this girl. And she likes to go out and get drunk and make out with girls. Now, some guys might be into that, but it pisses him off and he thinks it’s cheating. She says it isn’t. So we were trying to figure out who was right.
Group: (discussion ensues, which you will have to soon cut off and move into your next piece of material because they will go on and on about this and stale the topic).
A lot of newbies wonder why they should use canned openers and any kind of routines. They think being spontaneous is all you need. So, why do you need routines at all?
Routines are great training wheels. They allow you to test and refine the delivery of your material so you eventually get it “just right”. Routines clear your mind of the constant question: “OMG what am I going to say next to keep the conversation going?”
They allow you to be actually more present in the moment and tune directly
into the emotional connection between you and the girl. While your mouth keeps blabbering
interesting stuff, almost without an effort of your thinking brain.
Routines literally open your heart to focus on HER and HER reactions. They allow you to flow and vibe and be in complete sync with her emotions, which is all that matters anyway.
Of course, being quick-witted and coming up with original, personal stuff to say
on the fly is the holy grail. But routines are a must for two reasons:
Reason #1: Everyone has an off day or an off moment.
Even the most skilled conversationalist will hit a lull sooner or later. What better way to amp up the energy again than by pulling out a tried and true routine… where the audience reaction is 100% predictable!?
Reason #2: Studying routines makes you think about why they work. They allow you to see the PATTERNS behind social interaction.
P.S. If you need some outstanding, working openers and routines for tones of different situations, get Magic Bullets, the “pickup bible”.
Most men believe all it takes is money or good looks to attract women. You see it all the times in Hollywood movies where the rich guy is walking into restaurants with a gorgeous woman besides him. Other times when you’re walking down the street you see a male model walking with a stunner. All these images reinforce the belief that you need money or good looks to get women.
There is a little bit of truth in there. Having wealth will make it easier for you to attract women and so does good looks. But having those traits alone is by far not enough. These will get your foot in the door, but you will still need to display your attractive personality and have good conversational skills. No woman wants to be with a quiet millionaire or male model who can’t have conversations with her or who can’t turn her on. Luckily for you, even if you are not good looking or wealthy, you can still date these types of women if you know the right things to do.
There are certain traits women want in a guy. Knowing these traits will equal the playing for average men like you and me.
For example, there are some attraction switches. These are traits that every woman finds attractive in men. If you can display these traits (or turn on those “switches”) any woman will get attracted to you. Wealth is one of attraction switches and so is health (which is “mother” of good looks) but there are six more (you will be surprised what some of the other ones are).
You are fortunate that you are a guy, because the way attraction works for women is different than for men (as further explained in the book). Guys assume women think just like them so they assume the way attraction works is also the same. This can’t be further from the truth. For men is mostly defined by a woman’s looks. We want young, slim, and healthy looking women. Women view attraction very differently. Looks still matter, but what matter more is the social status of the man.
Here is an insight to female psychology: women want to be desired by powerful men. That is the biggest turn on for women. Now that does not mean that power equals wealth. She will get attracted to you if she perceives you as more powerful than she is. By having surmounts of wealth is just one way to do that. Another way to display that is by being more mature & experienced than her (why do you think most women date guys older than them) or you have a higher position within society than her (e.g. you are a lawyer versus she is a hair dresser).
Everyone has attractive personality traits, but you have to know how to precisely convey those to women. Bragging is a big turn off for women. Even if you have millions of dollars you still cannot get the girl if you brag about it. So what if you aren’t a millionaire? You can still get the girls knowing what the attraction switches are. Why do you think women fall head over heels over BROKE musicians?
P.S. This Mind Hack Makes Hot Girls Want You
Improving your dating life can be tough, especially when women reject you on the approach. It’s part of the game. If you are getting striked out after the approach you might be doing something wrong that turns women off. It can be a lot of different things and you might be even unaware of the mistakes you are making. Here are 5 things to watch for that turn women off (and you want to avoid).
1. Pickup Lines
Let’s get one thing clear before you even approach: pickup lines do not work. Whenever you approach a woman with a (cheesy) pickup line, she will shoot you down. By using a pickup line, what you are actually saying to her is that you are someone who doesn’t have any social intuition and you are someone who does not date women like her. Communicating those things automatically raises a red flag in her mind that you are not suitable for her to date you.
It’s even better to just say “Hi I’m Ben. What’s your name?” and go from there. Avoid pickup lines.
On the other hand, there are good conversation starters (or “openers” as some people call them). The goal of a conversation starter is to start a conversation; nothing more, nothing less. Once you have initiated the conversation, you need to engage her into an interesting conversation to build attraction and go from there.
2. Awkwardness
This one is easy: awkwardness. Women avoid awkwardness like men avoid grenades in their vicinity. It’s that bad. Common things that cause awkwardness include: long pauses in conversation and acting goofy in public with her. Awkwardness is one of the kryptonites of attraction. Awkwardness will kill any attraction she might feel for you so avoid it at all costs.
3. Boring
Women love interesting men and excitement. Being boring is on the opposite side of that spectrum and no woman wants to be around a boring guy. The task is simple; avoid being boring. If you can do that, you are already way ahead of most guys.
One common mistake is asking multiple questions in a row. Do not ask multiple questions in a row. That’s a job interview. Keep the conversation “light.” Do not discuss the existence of god or which political affiliation you’re part of. In simple terms: less logic, more emotions. Try to tease her like you would to your little sister or niece, tell some jokes, and share stories.
4. Neediness
Neediness is solely doing something for someone else to get affection or love in return. Being needy shows you have no options when it comes to women. It is conveyed mostly through your actions, but also through your words. Examples of being needy:
-calling or texting multiple times a day
-you are too available
-you try to please her all the time (at your own expense)
Here’s a key insight to female psychology: women like men who are desired by other women. It’s like a shortcut for them to filter out men. If other women like him, there must be something good about him she is not aware of. Showing neediness is the exactly the opposite and will kill any attraction (another one of those kryptonites).
5. Bragging
Bragging about yourself is like screaming “look how insecure I am and I’m trying to impress you.” A rich man doesn’t talk about how rich he is and Hugh Hefner does not talk about many blonds he has slept with. Subtlety is the key to showing off the cool things about you. The more subtle you are about the attractive things of you, the better it comes across to women. They are very good at filling in the blanks and recognizing subtle elements in your stories, outfits, and possessions.
For example, instead of saying “A couple weeks ago I had a girl, who is really beautiful and a model, come over and have diner with me. She made the best pasta ever and it was delicious” you want to be more subtle. A simpler and more subtle version is, “A friend of mine came over to cook for pasta for me and it was the best pasta I have ever had.” The latter is very subtle and conveying that you have other women in your life. Do guys generally come over and cook? No, women do. Women will understand that a woman was there for you to cook. The context is unknown, but she can fill in the blanks that is was possibly a date or maybe even your ex-girlfriend. Who knows, but you conveyed the same info in a shorter and more subtle way.
Avoid all those turn offs and your dating life will be changed up-side down. Sometimes dating does not have to be that difficult when you know what to do AND what not to do. In the book Magic Bullets you will find more details what turns women off, but more importantly what turns them on. Click here to find out more about it.
Attractive women on a daily basis have dozens of men come up to them and validate their beauty with compliments and sometimes gifts. It gets so that women find this boring or
even annoying.
Some women even develop tactics that help them weed through this multitude of boring nice guys just attracted to them for their looks. I mean I can’t blame them because I could
see how all those AFCs would get super boring.
The women get tough and test guys with attitude. In a manner of speaking this is the female way of Disqualifying and Qualifying men. They play the GAME too.
Disqualifying a woman allows you to show her that you aren’t like all the other guys who are just attracted to her for her looks. It lets her work for your attraction. It sets you up as a
PUA to allow her to display something more about herself for you to be attracted to other than her looks.
So now that you understand the concept let’s look at some methods to DQ:
1. Ignoring the target and spending more time speaking to her friends is a good way to start.
2. Disagreeing with a woman’s opinion on an item to show her you won’t cave your ideals to hers just because she’s attractive.
3. Teasing a woman with a playful joke like saying “You don’t get out much do you?” Remember always smile when you tease. Sometimes these types of DQs are called “pebbles.”
4. Letting a woman know that their is something about her that prohibits you from dating her. Such as “You’re a Scorpio? I never date Scorpios…dram, drama, drama.” Remember to
smile.
5. Or simply implying that you are spoken for: “My girlfriend would like your dress.”
When you use a DQ be sure to not wait for your target to react. It’s important that she perceives it as something you just casually say and didn’t over-think or plan out.
If the DQ is more of a tease that could come off as an insult you should always smile. Smiling allows the target to know that you are not fully serious. You’re just flirting…that’s what the smile says.
The 10 Best Disqualifiers (DQs):
1. “You should go back to your friends. I think the kids at the nerd table really miss you.”
2. “I bet you were the type of kid that always got spaghetti sauce all over your face.”
3. “Note to self: Do not date this girl.” (pretend to take a note on your hand)
4. “I bet there are tons of guys waiting to meet you on the Internet.”
5. “I don’t let women like you into my house without a background check first.”
6. “You are so bad at being pretty.”
7. “Check this girl out. She’s amazing, and so bright and funny. Would you believe she’s never had a date?”
8. “Yeah, you’re like the coolest girl I’ve met in this location in the last 2 minutes.”
9. “You are such a dork, it’s really adorable.”
10. “You’re such a nice girl. I really shouldn’t even be talking to you.”
Meeting women in daytime environments is a great alternative for bar and club environments. You strike up a conversation with a girl in a book store, talk for a few minutes, and you leave with a phone number. It really can be that easy. However, there is one mistake that a lot of guys make when they want to try to meet women using “day game.”
One common mistake guys make when it comes meeting and attracting women in daytime environments is that their goal is to get as many phone numbers as possible. While the majority of time you will leave with a phone number, your mindset and goals should not be to collect a bunch of phone numbers. Those are in itself are not worth much. Can you sleep with a phone number? No! The phone number is merely a logistical tool to communicate with a woman. Nothing more.
Also, women give out their phone number a lot. Sometimes even out of politeness knowing that they will never go out the guy. Other times to blow off the guy in a nice way (with a fake number).
Instead, what you want to have is commitments from women to go out on a date with you. As a result of her committing to see you again, you get her phone number. When you are interacting with a woman (from a cold approach), you want to make plans with her right then and there. Think of setting up the date as the “transaction” and the receipt of it is the phone number.
If a woman is not even willing to commit to see you again, you will know two things right away: she is not attracted to you enough and if you do get her phone number she will not go out with you anyway. The opposite is also true. If she is committed to see you again, you know for sure that she is attracted to you and she wants to see you again.
Now that you understand why getting women committed to see you again is important, here is a simple illustration how to use it. As you are hitting it off with a woman, what you want to do figure out is when she is available to go out with you, e.g. for drinks (make sure it is casual). Pick the day she is free to meet up again and then get her phone number. Below is an example:
Guy: So Jennifer, what are your plans the next couple days?
Girl: I have some plans with friends on Wednesday and Friday, not so sure about Thursday.
Guy: Great, let’s meet up for drinks on Thursday night. I know a great place where they serve really good wine. How do you feel about that?
Girl: Yes, sounds like fun.
Guy: Let me get your phone number and I’ll let you know about the time and place.
Girl: Ok my number is …….
It really is that simple. If you get a lot of flakey phone numbers (meaning you’re trying to meet up with a girl through texts and phone calls, but she doesn’t want to), one of the best ways to fix this problem is by first having women committing to see you again before you get her phone number. Try it and see how you many more dates you will be getting.
If you are interested in meeting women outside bars and clubs, you should definitely check out the book called Daytime Dating by Jeremy Soul. The book is about how to properly meet and attract women in daytime environments and this is one of the techniques discussed in the book. There are more step-by-step tips and techniques for picking up women in daytime environments. Check it out here.
In order to make a woman feel attracted to you, you have to flip some switches – sooner or later. Here are the main ones:
1. You must show her that you’re safe. Trust is an important issue for most women. This must be demonstrated. So switch #1: SAFETY and TRUST.
2. You must show her that you have either job, security, motivation, or ambition. In other
words, you must have a life and goals. So switch #2 is demonstrating to her that you have STABILITY and AMBITION. You don’t have to be successful, you just have to show the potential to be successful.
3. You must show her that you’re different than the other guys, that you are not generic or boring, that she can learn something from you or grow with you, that you have a sense of adventure or creativity or spirituality. So switch #3 is showing her that you have something to offer, even if you don’t give it to her in the moment. This is where DHVs (demonstrations of higher value) are useful.
4. You must be the prize of the room. She wants a guy others will envy her for, that she can brag about to her friends.This is where social proof comes in, where story-telling comes in. It’s also where alpha qualities come in, and not supplicating. So switch #4 is demonstrating all of the many qualities of: CONFIDENCE, LEADERSHIP, AUTHORITY, and POPULARITY.
5. It’s a big world and we all feel alone in it, so if you can demonstrate that you UNDERSTAND her and where she comes from, she will feel chemistry. This can largely be done through demonstrating either cultural, mental, emotional, world view, humor, or life/background commonalities. The more obscure and rare a trait that you connect
on, the more chemistry you create. So Switch #5 is demonstrating COMMONALITIES in order to trigger CHEMISTRY.
6. You need an aura of depth and mystery. You must maybe show a vulnerable or wounded side of yourself, you must not give away everything for free, you must be a puzzle she wants to figure out and maybe even have a wound she can heal. Switch #6 then is hooking her with your DEPTH and MYSTERY.
7. You must show her that you are NOT horny, but sexual. This is where social proof comes in too, also demonstrating an understanding of her world (liking her for who SHE is). So switch #7 is demonstrating your own LACK OF DESPERATION while showing her that you recognize something SPECIAL in her that attracts you to her. This is where QUALIFYING is useful, in other words demonstrating that you like her for who she is.